Cid took the last of his cigarette and shoved in onto a button-less portion of the Highwind's control panel.
"Fuck!" He exclaimed to himself, "Sure I'll watch the airship while you guys go out and have a good time. A relaxing vacation is just what you guys need to loosen up a little bit. I just forgot to ask what the HELL I was supposed to do when they were all gone."
He turned and leaned on the control panel, a habit the other pilot always had a spasm over.
"You are too damn nice, Cid, that's all there is to it. You gotta toughen up a little."
"I believe it would be more wise of you to work on becoming observant."
Cid nearly jumped out of his skin, he grabbed his spear and readied himself for a fight, his eyes scanning the deck. He caught a shadow within a shadow in one of the corners. He stepped toward it.
"I see you now. What are you doing here?"
"Interrogating me, old man?" Vincent stepped out of the shadow, his eyes squinted in what could have been a smile, but Cid couldn't tell with his face all wrapped up like it always was.
He dropped his stance and glared at the dark man, more of an acquaintance than a friend despite the amount of time they had known each other.
"Goddammit, Vincent! What the hell do you think you're doing? How long have you been here?"
"I thought you would recognize my voice."
"You don't talk enough half the time for me to know what you sound like, and what's with that 'old man' shit?"
"So many questions. Okay, you've got me." He held up his arms in defeat, "I've been here since you first lit that cigarette on the control panel now and I'm calling you old man because that's what you are."
Cid sighed angrily and set his spear down. There was no use talking to that freak show anyway.
::Why the hell does that guy make me so uneasy? Fucking nutcase, but so is Cloud and most of the others, they don't make me feel this way.::
Almost against his will and out of sheer lack of anyone else to talk to he spoke again, "Why are you back so early?"
"The Golden Saucer isn't my kind of place."
Cid glanced over at Vincent. He had sat down on the floor, his legs crossed one over the other. He had pulled down some fabric to reveal the bottom half of his face.
"Oh? You seem like such an upbeat fella. Hell, I thought it'd be right up your alley!" Cid grinned sarcastically.
Vincent bowed his head a little and allowed for a bit of a smile to graze his lips.
"The others will be there for quite a while. I expected it would be more peaceful to wait for them here."
"Huh! Peaceful it is. Too fucking peaceful."
"If you would like to go I will watch the Highwind in your stead."
Cid cocked an eyebrow at him, "I don't trust you with my Highwind. Don't trust nobody but me."
"I understand that philosophy."
"Yeh, seems like you would all right. Why are you talking so much anyway? Don't think I've ever heard you talk this much in all the time I've known you added together."
Vincent shrugged, "Would you prefer silence?"
"Would I talk to myself when I'm alone if I did?"
"Good point."
Cid lit another cigarette and took a slow drag of it. Then, he blew out several smoke rings, each ramming into another and dissipating into the air. Cid held down a cough and held the pack at arm's length in Vincent's direction.
"Want a smoke?"
"No thank you."
"Why? It ain't gonna kill you or nothing."
Vincent chucked mirthlessly at that remark. "No, I'm sure it won't."
::There's that feeling again. What the hell was that laugh about? I don't think. Sounds like the laugh of a man headed for the gallows. They did find him in a coffin didn't they?::
Cid held down a shudder and gave Vincent a crooked smile.
"Then, why don't you try one? Ain't nothin' like a buzz to get your mind off of this planet's perils or whatever."
Vincent stood slowly, "Perhaps I will take one. It's been a long time since..."
He took a cigarette from Cid's pack and placed it between his lips and held his head forward a little, like someone waiting for either a kiss or a light. Cid reached into his pocket and retrieved his matches, struck one and let the flame touch the tip of the paper, turning it burning red.
"Kinda like the meteor." Cid mumbled.
"What?"
"Uh..." Cid shook his head, realizing that he had actually said the silly thought aloud.
"What's like the meteor?"
"The, er, tip of the cigarette."
"Hm, I guess it does." Vincent took a very long drag and let the smoke out slowly. Cid watched him. There was something in the way those lips wrapped around that made Cid more uneasy than before.
"These are better than I remember them to be," Vincent said, removing the cigarette from his mouth and observing it carefully.
"Better as hell be! Price of those little mothers has gone up since this 'end o' the world' crap started.
"I imagine they would. They are not a necessity after all. Merely are a comfort."
"Tell that to a regular smoker and see if you don't get beat to a pulp."
"I thought I just did."
"Hey, I'm not hooked. I don't need them like some people do."
Vincent laughed quietly, with a hint of real humor.
"What was that for?!"
"You? Not addicted to cigarettes?"
"Yeah? What of it?"
Vincent laughed again, a little louder this time. Cid caught himself noticing the musical quality of it, like a flute that was so seldom played that the tune was easier to appreciate. Cid thought with a hidden smile that Vincent's laugh was the exact opposite of little Yuffie's. They stood together smoking for a few moments in silence, each casting an occasional glance the other's way.
"I think you've been in the sun too long today, Vincent."
"Huh? Why?"
"You're acting human for a fucking change."
"Am I?"
Cid nodded, "'Friad so, man."
"Hm..." Vincent looked out toward the horizon just beyond the Highwind's controls. Cid looked at him from the corner of his eye. His nose made this perfect arch, a gentle slope, not too long, not too small.
::Dammit, Cid. What are you looking at?::
He couldn't pull himself away from the sight, no matter how he tried. Those dark eyes, as distant as the sun. He slowly turned his face back to Cid. Cid forced himself not to look away, to look fearless and sexy no matter how much his heart was pumping. Vincent was the one to break both the eye contact and the silence.
"I wonder how long they'll be in there?"
Cid shrugged restlessly.
"This 'mission' or whatever it is that we're on..." Vincent said, changing the subject.
"Yeah?"
"Why are you on it? I mean, the real reason..."
"There you are acting human again." Cid said with a wry smile.
"Yeah, I guess so." He paused, "So, are you going to answer me?"
"I thought I'd go on acting like you never said anything, but I guess that would be rude. Why am I here? Well, if the world is going to end and we all die, at least I won't be bored up until then. Hell, at this rate we'll probably all be dead before we even reach Sephiroth. I mean, takin' a freaking holiday at the Golden Saucer?! If we don't get our act together then all of us will end up like Aeris." Cid took a deep sigh and then the last drag of his cigarette.
"Hmm..."
"What is it?"
"I don't know, I just didn't expect that from you. You seem...confident."
"Do I?" Cid laughed. " What about you? Why are you here?"
"I may as well do something toward my own salvation," He smiled crookedly, "If that's still possible."
Cid smiled and pulled another cigarette out of the pack stuck in his goggles and lit it, covering the bottom of his face as he shielded the small flame from the wind.
'HEYYYY GUYS!!!!" Yuffie ran in, skidding as she turned, her arms full of stuffed animals. Vincent dropped the cigarette and stepped on it.
"We're back." said an exhausted Cloud with a happy Tifa on his are covered in costume jewelry. Barret and Red XIII followed, Barret was holding a small stuffed moogle.
"I hope you fools had fun while I was tirelessly watching the Highwind."
"You weren't alone." said Cait Sith as he bounced in on his huge stuffed creature. "We looked everywhere for Vince. We finally guessed that he'd be back here!"
"Nooooo," interjected Yuffie, "You asked where Vincent was and I said that he left already. We didn't look anywhere! Cid, can I put my stuffed animals here?"
"Get those things off of my deck!"
"I thought they would liven up the..."
"I don't give a shit what you thought. Get them the hell out of here!"
Yuffie stuck out her bottom lip and her eyes got big and glassy.
"And don't you even try that shit on me, I'm immune."
"Fine." Yuffie walked away slowly with her stuffed animals drooping pitifully in her arms.
"Well, we ought to get going, I don't feel like spending the night in Coral." said Cloud as he took a seat on the floor, Tifa following.
"Sure thing, I gotta get into the air again anyhow. PILOT!"
The pilot rushed in and ran to his post.
"Take us out of here, we want to spend the night some place nice."
"Yessir!"
Cid looked to his side where Vincent had been, he was gone. He looked around for him and found him, a shadow in one of the nooks of the deck.
::Well, so much for conversation. More used to him this way anyway.::
***
Costa del Sol was different at night. The yellow adobe walls were dimmed to dark blue and the orange colored roofs were black. Prostitutes and merchants with less than ethical wares lined the streets. Cid was nearly tempted to take one of the prettier girls up on her offer, but something stopped him. He went straight to his room when they reached the hotel. After three hours of staring through the darkness at his ceiling, he realized he wasn't tired.
He walked across the street, where prostitutes replaced the playing children, to the bar, aptly named Bar. It was mostly empty. A few of the more hard core drunks were sitting at stools. One or two were unconscious in their own vomit in the corners. Cid looked around a moment before sitting as far away from the other drinkers as possible on a stool. The bartender didn't ask him what he wanted. He simply set a large mug of cheep ale in front of him.
"A little late to be drinking, old man."
He recognized the voice now, but it didn't stop his heart from nearly exiting through his throat.
"Then, what are you doing here?"
Vincent sat next to him. He was wearing less than usual. His cape was gone, as was the thing he usually had wrapped around his face. He waved away the ale that the bartender offered him.
"I don't sleep much."
"Think you could manage to be a little more freakish, Vince?" Cid said, his tongue already becoming a little more loose after only a few gulps of alcohol.
Vincent turned his head towards him crookedly and cocked an eyebrow. "Don't call me Vince."
"Right." Cid chuckled. "Freakish is okay, but not Vince."
"Not Vince."
"May I ask why?"
"I don't like it. It sounds like a greasy child molester."
Cid was silent for a moment, taken totally off guard. Then, he began to guffaw, nearly falling off of his stool. Vincent steadied him with his claw, sending a strange sensation up Cid's spine.
"Be careful old man, you might break a hip."
"I'm not that fucking old. And was that a joke I heard?"
Vincent shrugged. "Does it not sound like such a person to you?"
"Maybe. I'd hate to figure what you think Cid must sound like."
"Like an pilot who smokes to the point of absurdity and who drinks too much in the middle of the night so that he doesn't have to face his own thoughts. Do you realize you're on your second drink?"
Cid was caught off guard again, but this time, it didn't lead to laughter. He looked down at the bar table. The first mug was sitting empty near another, half empty, in his hand.
"I made you uncomfortable," said Vincent.
Cid took a few gil out of his pocket and dropped them on the table, then stood and walked towards out of the door. Even the prostitutes were gone now. He was half way to the inn when Vincent caught his arm. The grip of the dark man's claw arm was cold and tight.
"What do you want, Vincent?" he spat.
"I appologize for what I said."
"What? No insults about my age or my habits?"
"You're not old. You just make yourself old."
"What the fuck do you mean by that?"
Vincent looked deeply into Cid's eyes. They made Cid feel cold inside, made him tremble. Vincent leaned over to Cid's ear.
"You know. We are the same," he whispered.
He did know. The smoking. The drinking. The argumentativeness. It was his way of keeping everyone at a distance, just as Vincent's dark silence was. He shook his head.
"This is bullshit. I don't have to take insults from a freak of nature like you."
"You're proving me right."
"Well, la-dee-freakin'-da," He tried to loose himself from Vincent's grip, but he just held tighter. "Just tell me what the hell you want from me so I can get some fucking sleep."
Vincent sighed deeply and let his head hang a little. "It's been years." His voice was quiet. "I didn't think I had anything left in me. I don't talk to people because I always find I have nothing to say. I don't want them to know me. I don't want them to like me. I want them to be totally apathetic to me." He looked up slowly. "Now, I find that I have something to say. Things to say. Millions of them. But only to you."
Cid's stomach twisted in on itself.
::No, I'm taking this the wrong way. Please, gods, tell me I'm taking this the wrong way. Tell me I don't WANT him to feel that way.::
Vincent raised his real hand and ran a finger down Cid's cheek. "Do you want me to let you go? Do you want these things I have to say to go unsaid? If you say yes, I'll never speak of this again."
::Yes, let me go. Let me go to my room. Let me sleep. Let me be numb.:: Cid thought vehemently, but the words were caught in his throat. Instead, he found himself shaking his head 'no'.
"Come to my hotel room." Vincent said.
Cid let Vincent lead him back to the inn and into Vincent's room. The dark man let go of Cid's arm finally, and sat on the bed. Cid sat cautiously on the chair near the bed, unable to take his eyes off of Vincent.
After a few long moments of silence, Vincent chuckled.
"What?" asked Cid.
"I have all of these things to say, but I can't think of one of them right now."
Cid smiled despite himself. He stood slowly. "I think we both know why."
Vincent stood also, too close to Cid. The pilot wanted to step back, but found himself going in the other direction. He wrapped his arms around the dark man's shoulders and looked meaningfully into his eyes for a moment before pressing his lips against Vincent's. Vincent responded warmly, pushing his tongue into Cid's mouth.
Cid's entire body began to buzz with warmth unlike anything he had ever felt before. He'd been with women, but it had never been like this. Vincent's arms were around his waist now, pulling him close against his hips. Cid felt a moan escape from his throat. He pulled reluctantly away from the kiss.
"I ain't... you know... we shouldn't."
"Why?" Vincent whispered.
For the life of him, Cid couldn't come up with a good reason. He had expected something like this to feel wrong, dirty somehow. But it didn't. Far from it. Vincent smiled. Not like any of the smiles he had shown before. His dark face lit up. Cid felt himself smile too, almost unconsciously. He held Vincent tighter.
"So, do ya think you could like an old, bitter man with a smokers hack and a drinking problem?"
Vincent laughed, delicately beautiful music in Cid's ears. "Think you could like a freakish man who doesn't like to sleep or talk?"
"If you could manage to laugh like that occasionally."
Vincent smiled and looked away.
::A blush? This is too fucking much.::
Cid couldn't hold himself back with reservations or old prejudices any longer. He pushed Vincent back on the bed .
"You know, I'm only doing this so I can get to sleep," Cid said with a joking smile.
Then, words were no longer needed.
"Fuck!" He exclaimed to himself, "Sure I'll watch the airship while you guys go out and have a good time. A relaxing vacation is just what you guys need to loosen up a little bit. I just forgot to ask what the HELL I was supposed to do when they were all gone."
He turned and leaned on the control panel, a habit the other pilot always had a spasm over.
"You are too damn nice, Cid, that's all there is to it. You gotta toughen up a little."
"I believe it would be more wise of you to work on becoming observant."
Cid nearly jumped out of his skin, he grabbed his spear and readied himself for a fight, his eyes scanning the deck. He caught a shadow within a shadow in one of the corners. He stepped toward it.
"I see you now. What are you doing here?"
"Interrogating me, old man?" Vincent stepped out of the shadow, his eyes squinted in what could have been a smile, but Cid couldn't tell with his face all wrapped up like it always was.
He dropped his stance and glared at the dark man, more of an acquaintance than a friend despite the amount of time they had known each other.
"Goddammit, Vincent! What the hell do you think you're doing? How long have you been here?"
"I thought you would recognize my voice."
"You don't talk enough half the time for me to know what you sound like, and what's with that 'old man' shit?"
"So many questions. Okay, you've got me." He held up his arms in defeat, "I've been here since you first lit that cigarette on the control panel now and I'm calling you old man because that's what you are."
Cid sighed angrily and set his spear down. There was no use talking to that freak show anyway.
::Why the hell does that guy make me so uneasy? Fucking nutcase, but so is Cloud and most of the others, they don't make me feel this way.::
Almost against his will and out of sheer lack of anyone else to talk to he spoke again, "Why are you back so early?"
"The Golden Saucer isn't my kind of place."
Cid glanced over at Vincent. He had sat down on the floor, his legs crossed one over the other. He had pulled down some fabric to reveal the bottom half of his face.
"Oh? You seem like such an upbeat fella. Hell, I thought it'd be right up your alley!" Cid grinned sarcastically.
Vincent bowed his head a little and allowed for a bit of a smile to graze his lips.
"The others will be there for quite a while. I expected it would be more peaceful to wait for them here."
"Huh! Peaceful it is. Too fucking peaceful."
"If you would like to go I will watch the Highwind in your stead."
Cid cocked an eyebrow at him, "I don't trust you with my Highwind. Don't trust nobody but me."
"I understand that philosophy."
"Yeh, seems like you would all right. Why are you talking so much anyway? Don't think I've ever heard you talk this much in all the time I've known you added together."
Vincent shrugged, "Would you prefer silence?"
"Would I talk to myself when I'm alone if I did?"
"Good point."
Cid lit another cigarette and took a slow drag of it. Then, he blew out several smoke rings, each ramming into another and dissipating into the air. Cid held down a cough and held the pack at arm's length in Vincent's direction.
"Want a smoke?"
"No thank you."
"Why? It ain't gonna kill you or nothing."
Vincent chucked mirthlessly at that remark. "No, I'm sure it won't."
::There's that feeling again. What the hell was that laugh about? I don't think. Sounds like the laugh of a man headed for the gallows. They did find him in a coffin didn't they?::
Cid held down a shudder and gave Vincent a crooked smile.
"Then, why don't you try one? Ain't nothin' like a buzz to get your mind off of this planet's perils or whatever."
Vincent stood slowly, "Perhaps I will take one. It's been a long time since..."
He took a cigarette from Cid's pack and placed it between his lips and held his head forward a little, like someone waiting for either a kiss or a light. Cid reached into his pocket and retrieved his matches, struck one and let the flame touch the tip of the paper, turning it burning red.
"Kinda like the meteor." Cid mumbled.
"What?"
"Uh..." Cid shook his head, realizing that he had actually said the silly thought aloud.
"What's like the meteor?"
"The, er, tip of the cigarette."
"Hm, I guess it does." Vincent took a very long drag and let the smoke out slowly. Cid watched him. There was something in the way those lips wrapped around that made Cid more uneasy than before.
"These are better than I remember them to be," Vincent said, removing the cigarette from his mouth and observing it carefully.
"Better as hell be! Price of those little mothers has gone up since this 'end o' the world' crap started.
"I imagine they would. They are not a necessity after all. Merely are a comfort."
"Tell that to a regular smoker and see if you don't get beat to a pulp."
"I thought I just did."
"Hey, I'm not hooked. I don't need them like some people do."
Vincent laughed quietly, with a hint of real humor.
"What was that for?!"
"You? Not addicted to cigarettes?"
"Yeah? What of it?"
Vincent laughed again, a little louder this time. Cid caught himself noticing the musical quality of it, like a flute that was so seldom played that the tune was easier to appreciate. Cid thought with a hidden smile that Vincent's laugh was the exact opposite of little Yuffie's. They stood together smoking for a few moments in silence, each casting an occasional glance the other's way.
"I think you've been in the sun too long today, Vincent."
"Huh? Why?"
"You're acting human for a fucking change."
"Am I?"
Cid nodded, "'Friad so, man."
"Hm..." Vincent looked out toward the horizon just beyond the Highwind's controls. Cid looked at him from the corner of his eye. His nose made this perfect arch, a gentle slope, not too long, not too small.
::Dammit, Cid. What are you looking at?::
He couldn't pull himself away from the sight, no matter how he tried. Those dark eyes, as distant as the sun. He slowly turned his face back to Cid. Cid forced himself not to look away, to look fearless and sexy no matter how much his heart was pumping. Vincent was the one to break both the eye contact and the silence.
"I wonder how long they'll be in there?"
Cid shrugged restlessly.
"This 'mission' or whatever it is that we're on..." Vincent said, changing the subject.
"Yeah?"
"Why are you on it? I mean, the real reason..."
"There you are acting human again." Cid said with a wry smile.
"Yeah, I guess so." He paused, "So, are you going to answer me?"
"I thought I'd go on acting like you never said anything, but I guess that would be rude. Why am I here? Well, if the world is going to end and we all die, at least I won't be bored up until then. Hell, at this rate we'll probably all be dead before we even reach Sephiroth. I mean, takin' a freaking holiday at the Golden Saucer?! If we don't get our act together then all of us will end up like Aeris." Cid took a deep sigh and then the last drag of his cigarette.
"Hmm..."
"What is it?"
"I don't know, I just didn't expect that from you. You seem...confident."
"Do I?" Cid laughed. " What about you? Why are you here?"
"I may as well do something toward my own salvation," He smiled crookedly, "If that's still possible."
Cid smiled and pulled another cigarette out of the pack stuck in his goggles and lit it, covering the bottom of his face as he shielded the small flame from the wind.
'HEYYYY GUYS!!!!" Yuffie ran in, skidding as she turned, her arms full of stuffed animals. Vincent dropped the cigarette and stepped on it.
"We're back." said an exhausted Cloud with a happy Tifa on his are covered in costume jewelry. Barret and Red XIII followed, Barret was holding a small stuffed moogle.
"I hope you fools had fun while I was tirelessly watching the Highwind."
"You weren't alone." said Cait Sith as he bounced in on his huge stuffed creature. "We looked everywhere for Vince. We finally guessed that he'd be back here!"
"Nooooo," interjected Yuffie, "You asked where Vincent was and I said that he left already. We didn't look anywhere! Cid, can I put my stuffed animals here?"
"Get those things off of my deck!"
"I thought they would liven up the..."
"I don't give a shit what you thought. Get them the hell out of here!"
Yuffie stuck out her bottom lip and her eyes got big and glassy.
"And don't you even try that shit on me, I'm immune."
"Fine." Yuffie walked away slowly with her stuffed animals drooping pitifully in her arms.
"Well, we ought to get going, I don't feel like spending the night in Coral." said Cloud as he took a seat on the floor, Tifa following.
"Sure thing, I gotta get into the air again anyhow. PILOT!"
The pilot rushed in and ran to his post.
"Take us out of here, we want to spend the night some place nice."
"Yessir!"
Cid looked to his side where Vincent had been, he was gone. He looked around for him and found him, a shadow in one of the nooks of the deck.
::Well, so much for conversation. More used to him this way anyway.::
***
Costa del Sol was different at night. The yellow adobe walls were dimmed to dark blue and the orange colored roofs were black. Prostitutes and merchants with less than ethical wares lined the streets. Cid was nearly tempted to take one of the prettier girls up on her offer, but something stopped him. He went straight to his room when they reached the hotel. After three hours of staring through the darkness at his ceiling, he realized he wasn't tired.
He walked across the street, where prostitutes replaced the playing children, to the bar, aptly named Bar. It was mostly empty. A few of the more hard core drunks were sitting at stools. One or two were unconscious in their own vomit in the corners. Cid looked around a moment before sitting as far away from the other drinkers as possible on a stool. The bartender didn't ask him what he wanted. He simply set a large mug of cheep ale in front of him.
"A little late to be drinking, old man."
He recognized the voice now, but it didn't stop his heart from nearly exiting through his throat.
"Then, what are you doing here?"
Vincent sat next to him. He was wearing less than usual. His cape was gone, as was the thing he usually had wrapped around his face. He waved away the ale that the bartender offered him.
"I don't sleep much."
"Think you could manage to be a little more freakish, Vince?" Cid said, his tongue already becoming a little more loose after only a few gulps of alcohol.
Vincent turned his head towards him crookedly and cocked an eyebrow. "Don't call me Vince."
"Right." Cid chuckled. "Freakish is okay, but not Vince."
"Not Vince."
"May I ask why?"
"I don't like it. It sounds like a greasy child molester."
Cid was silent for a moment, taken totally off guard. Then, he began to guffaw, nearly falling off of his stool. Vincent steadied him with his claw, sending a strange sensation up Cid's spine.
"Be careful old man, you might break a hip."
"I'm not that fucking old. And was that a joke I heard?"
Vincent shrugged. "Does it not sound like such a person to you?"
"Maybe. I'd hate to figure what you think Cid must sound like."
"Like an pilot who smokes to the point of absurdity and who drinks too much in the middle of the night so that he doesn't have to face his own thoughts. Do you realize you're on your second drink?"
Cid was caught off guard again, but this time, it didn't lead to laughter. He looked down at the bar table. The first mug was sitting empty near another, half empty, in his hand.
"I made you uncomfortable," said Vincent.
Cid took a few gil out of his pocket and dropped them on the table, then stood and walked towards out of the door. Even the prostitutes were gone now. He was half way to the inn when Vincent caught his arm. The grip of the dark man's claw arm was cold and tight.
"What do you want, Vincent?" he spat.
"I appologize for what I said."
"What? No insults about my age or my habits?"
"You're not old. You just make yourself old."
"What the fuck do you mean by that?"
Vincent looked deeply into Cid's eyes. They made Cid feel cold inside, made him tremble. Vincent leaned over to Cid's ear.
"You know. We are the same," he whispered.
He did know. The smoking. The drinking. The argumentativeness. It was his way of keeping everyone at a distance, just as Vincent's dark silence was. He shook his head.
"This is bullshit. I don't have to take insults from a freak of nature like you."
"You're proving me right."
"Well, la-dee-freakin'-da," He tried to loose himself from Vincent's grip, but he just held tighter. "Just tell me what the hell you want from me so I can get some fucking sleep."
Vincent sighed deeply and let his head hang a little. "It's been years." His voice was quiet. "I didn't think I had anything left in me. I don't talk to people because I always find I have nothing to say. I don't want them to know me. I don't want them to like me. I want them to be totally apathetic to me." He looked up slowly. "Now, I find that I have something to say. Things to say. Millions of them. But only to you."
Cid's stomach twisted in on itself.
::No, I'm taking this the wrong way. Please, gods, tell me I'm taking this the wrong way. Tell me I don't WANT him to feel that way.::
Vincent raised his real hand and ran a finger down Cid's cheek. "Do you want me to let you go? Do you want these things I have to say to go unsaid? If you say yes, I'll never speak of this again."
::Yes, let me go. Let me go to my room. Let me sleep. Let me be numb.:: Cid thought vehemently, but the words were caught in his throat. Instead, he found himself shaking his head 'no'.
"Come to my hotel room." Vincent said.
Cid let Vincent lead him back to the inn and into Vincent's room. The dark man let go of Cid's arm finally, and sat on the bed. Cid sat cautiously on the chair near the bed, unable to take his eyes off of Vincent.
After a few long moments of silence, Vincent chuckled.
"What?" asked Cid.
"I have all of these things to say, but I can't think of one of them right now."
Cid smiled despite himself. He stood slowly. "I think we both know why."
Vincent stood also, too close to Cid. The pilot wanted to step back, but found himself going in the other direction. He wrapped his arms around the dark man's shoulders and looked meaningfully into his eyes for a moment before pressing his lips against Vincent's. Vincent responded warmly, pushing his tongue into Cid's mouth.
Cid's entire body began to buzz with warmth unlike anything he had ever felt before. He'd been with women, but it had never been like this. Vincent's arms were around his waist now, pulling him close against his hips. Cid felt a moan escape from his throat. He pulled reluctantly away from the kiss.
"I ain't... you know... we shouldn't."
"Why?" Vincent whispered.
For the life of him, Cid couldn't come up with a good reason. He had expected something like this to feel wrong, dirty somehow. But it didn't. Far from it. Vincent smiled. Not like any of the smiles he had shown before. His dark face lit up. Cid felt himself smile too, almost unconsciously. He held Vincent tighter.
"So, do ya think you could like an old, bitter man with a smokers hack and a drinking problem?"
Vincent laughed, delicately beautiful music in Cid's ears. "Think you could like a freakish man who doesn't like to sleep or talk?"
"If you could manage to laugh like that occasionally."
Vincent smiled and looked away.
::A blush? This is too fucking much.::
Cid couldn't hold himself back with reservations or old prejudices any longer. He pushed Vincent back on the bed .
"You know, I'm only doing this so I can get to sleep," Cid said with a joking smile.
Then, words were no longer needed.