Disclaimer: I do not own Rosario+Vampire.
...And, yes, I actually do kind of hate this series (Harems...fuck that shit!! JUST HAVE ONE OR TWO GIRLS INTERESTED IN THE GUY, NOT FIVE OR MORE!!!), which is weird considering I write fics for it. This is probably the most OOC thing I've ever written...
Anyway, Tsukune snaps. That's it.
"TSUKUNE!!!"
"TSUKUNE!!!"
"TSUKUNE!!!"
"TSUKUNE!!!"
"TSUKUNE!!!"
Turning to face Moka, Kurumu, Mizore and Yukari and Ruby, Tsukune glared furiously at them and screamed, "SHUT YOUR DIRTY WHORE MOUTHES!! EVERY LAST GODDAMN ONE OF YOU!!!!"
Moka gasped. "T-Tsukune...how could you...?"
"I SAID SHUT UP, YOU WHORE!!! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF ALL OF YOU CHASING ME AROUND ALL DAY AND TRYING TO GET IN MY PANTS!!! CAN'T YOU PEOPLE ACT NORMAL FOR A CHANGE?!!"
"Well...we ARE monsters..." Kurumu pointed out.
"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP TOO!!! LISTEN, YOU'RE ALL GOING TO GROW UP TO BE PROSTITUTES WHO HAVE TO GET FIVE ABORTIONS ABOUT EVERY TEN DAYS, SO PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! I'M GOING TO GO OVER EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOUR FAULTS, AND THEN I WANT YOU TO ALL GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!"
"Tsukune..."
"FIRST OF ALL: KURUMU, YOUR BREASTS ARE WAY TOO BIG, AND YOU PROBABLY PRACTICE SUCKING ON LARGE OBJECTS ALL THE TIME, DON'T YOU?! YUKARI, YOU'RE NOTHING MORE THAN SOMETHING TO PLEASE THE PEDOPHILES!!! MIZORE...GET A GODDAMN LIFE, YOU DUMBASS DICK-SUCKING SLUT!! RUBY, STOP BEING A DAMN MASOCHIST AND GETTING HORNY WHENEVER I SMACK YOU AROUND, WHICH I SHOULD DO MORE OFTEN, BECAUSE YOU SUCK! AND, MOKA...DEAR, DEAR SWEET MOKA..."
"Y...Yes?"
"IT'S ALL YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN' FAULT I'M STUCK IN THIS SITUATION, DAMMIT!!! I...HATE...YOU!!!!!! I COULD HAVE LIVED A NORMAL LIFE, FIND A GIRL WHO MIRACULOUSLY HAS AN INTEREST IN A FOOL LIKE ME, AND THEN WE'LL GET MARRIED AT A REASONABLE AGE, AND HAVE 2.5 CHILDREN!!! YOU GUYS JUST WANNA BECOME TEEN PREGGOS AND...AND WHY IS IT THAT ALL GIRLS IN HAREM ANIME SEEM TO HAVE SOME WEIRD FETISH FOR LOSERS AND DUMBASS NERDS?!! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!! YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!!! WHY, I DON'T KNOW, BUT I SAY YOU SHOULD, SO BOW DOWN TO ME!! BESIDES, IF ANY OF YOU SAW MY PENIS, YOU'D PROBABLY BE VERY DISAPPOINTED IN THE END, ANYWAY, SO FUCK YOU!!!"
Tears formed in all of the girls' eyes, and they looked down at the ground in despair.
"ONE LAST THING...THE FINAL THING THAT WILL MAKE IT OBVIOUS THAT I CANNOT, AND WILL NOT, EVER HAVE FEELINGS FOR ANY OF YOU HORNY GODDAMN HOS!!! I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF ALL OF YOU, SO A FUCKIN' HAREM IS OUT OF THE QUESTION, OR ELSE I'LL BREAK YOUR NECKS!!! DO YOU WANNA HEAR WHAT I'M GONNA SAY?! HUH?! HUH?! HUH?!"
"W...What is it? Just...just say it so we can go and hang ourselves already..."
Tsukune actually was trying to think of what reason it should be, when Gin happened to walk by. The moment he saw him, Tsukune had an idea.
"...BECAUSE I'M GAY!!!" Tsukune shouted, and he then grabbed Gin by the shoulders and kissed him passionately on the lips.
Five seconds later, the world blew up.