This fanfic has been in the works for far, far longer than it should have been. I actually started it back in 2013, wrote about a thousand words, got stuck and promptly forgot about it. I only stumbled across it again a few months back when I got my old stationary computer going again (it's been living in a box ever since I moved out my parents' place – I made do with my laptop XD), and I thought...oh, why not finish it? It wasn't much left to write anyway.
Famous last words right there.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy.
A very special thank you to my friend Katarina who actually leaped in willingly to beta (and did a fantastic job too!) in spite of not being a Whovian. Thank you so much!
Amour, Toux et Fumée
Amour, toux et fumée en ne secret sont demeurée ("Love, smoke and cough are hard to hide") – French proverb
"Madame de Pompadour – welcome to the good ship TARDIS." The Doctor bowed, his beautiful lips – full and soft – curling upwards into a smile as he waved her inside the curious blue box. "Well, I say 'good' – she can be a bit temperamental at times, but she's a good ship overall. Best in the universe, in fact."
The sight that greeted her had little in common with how she had imagined his ship to look like. Even with its fantastical size, the harsh metal and contorted pillars seemed much too unrefined – the golden castle soaring high above the sky in the dreams of her youth seemed a thousand times more suitable as an abode for her lonely angel than this. All the same, it was his home and she let out a polite little laugh to cover her surprise. "It appears, my dear Doctor, that the inside of your ship defies logic as much as its owner."
His eyebrows fluttered, their movements reminiscent of wings in flight and she almost laughed at the expression it created. "Bigger on the inside. And that's just the start of it!" He looked as though he might have continued his little speech, had it not been for the blonde child Reinette could remember from so many years previously stepping forward.
The girl's youth looked undiminished from their meeting in Versailles when she had given her the message from the Doctor, and Reinette was startled to recall that the ability to step through the chapters of her life was not one that belonged solely to the Doctor. Instead, all of her life had been open to anyone willing to make the journey, while she had been forced to tread the slow path as its servant. Indeed, the time which had lapsed as years for her, could have been nothing more than a few ticks from the clock to them.
"Now! Reinette! Come meet the rest of the crew. Although I suppose you've already met them. Reckon it's been a few years for you, though…"
She had indeed met the fair girl and the dark man standing silently in the back of the room. Even when disregarding the conversation she had with the blonde child five years past, she could remember the pair like vague shadows moving in the background of her encounters with the Doctor. Their names, however, had never been committed to her memory. She had seen them then as Doctor's attendants – his 'crew' as he called them – and greeting the staff was a task a woman of her class seldom partook in. However, the Doctor's world was different from her own and she would do her best to become accustomed to it. She acknowledged the two figures with a tilt of her head. "It is good seeing you again."
The girl nodded, a polite smile lighting her features. "I'm Rose, and that lump over there's Mickey. Don't think we were properly introduced before."
"There we go! A proper introduction! Now, I think it's bedtime for sleepy humans – and sleepy Time Lords, for that matter. Lucky for me I'm not sleepy."
Rose turned, her eyes betraying her anger even before she had spoken. "Oh no, you don't! I know what you're trying to do, deflecting us with introductions and bedtimes and…and things. Don't think you can escape just like that! You're mucking around with history!"
The Doctor flinched, and Reinette was surprised to see his face expressing more embarrassment and little of the annoyance that she would have felt herself had she been spoken to in that manner by a girl of such low class. "Ah, Rose…"
"Does 'the Uncrowned Queen of France' ring any bell? Got to be important to history, that."
"Don't worry!"
"'Don't worry', you tell me! What about 'there's someone who's alive who shouldn't be' and Reapers and—"
Hands at her shoulders, he shook his head. "No, no, no. This is nothing like that. I know what I'm doing – bit of an adventure and then I'll have Reinette back before anyone notices she's missing! Easy-peasy—no, wait. I'm not going to use that one. Rubbish expression."
Neither Rose nor Mickey looked as if they had been convinced. "But it's not safe, is it? What if something happens?"
The Doctor cupped her cheeks, hands tender. "Trust me. Nothing will happen. I promise." A long moment of silence stretched between the two of them as the blonde child continued to gaze at him, eyes hard.
Then her face softened.
And a smile lit the Doctor's in response.
A small gasp of wonder escaped through Reinette's parted lips. His expression was unlike any she had previously seen. It was happiness and joy; hope and salvation – a mélange of everything brilliant and shining.
He was exquisite.
He appeared just as angelic to her as he ever had, with his youthful beauty and ancient eyes, but in that instant it was hard to believe he traveled through the heavens with such loneliness in his hearts. In countless ways, she found him looking more alive and real then than he had ever done to her in the past.
The look was gone a breath later, like mist before the sun, but the memory of it would forever be etched into her mind and she was determined to see it blossom on his beautiful face again.
After all, if the child could inspire it, then certainly, so could she.
Walking inside the Doctor's ship was, in many ways, like wandering within a dream.
The corridors changed from one instant to another and neither rhyme nor reason seemed to be applied when it came to which location she arrived at. Excluding the countless rooms that had only made themselves known once during her pursuit of her lonely angel, she had passed by her designated sleeping quarters at least nine times, the library twice and a very ornate bathing chamber six times.
The Doctor and his room, however, was nowhere to be found. She was beginning to think it was, perhaps, time to admit defeat. And yet…
She had left all the comforts of Versailles for the opportunity to dance amongst the stars with the man who had graced her fantasies so many times. To spend her first night onboard anywhere except in the comfort of his embrace would be…unsatisfactory.
She passed yet another room, only to pause as the sound of someone humming reached her ears from within. Standing upon the threshold, she peeked inside, finding a small room with the man she had been seeking for so long. The Doctor was singing as he moved around, a plate with biscuits precariously balanced on the top his head as he attempted to slice the yellow fruit he had introduced to her many years in the past – a 'banana', he had called it then – all while pointing his blue tipped wand at a boiling kettle.
"Doctor."
A tiny little sound of surprise escaped the Doctor's lips as he spun around, the plate of biscuits nearly tumbling from its perch. "Ah! Reinette! What are you doing up? I thought you'd be sleeping by now. Looking for something in particular?"
Inclining her head to the right, she let a small smile light her features. "Indeed. I have been wandering the corridors for quite some time."
Eyes flickering upwards towards the ceiling, the Doctor let out another hum. "Funny. The TARDIS usually leads you to whatever you need if you can't find your way. What were you looking for?"
She allowed a polite little laugh. "Is it not obvious? I was looking for you, of course."
He blinked. "Me?"
"I thought, perhaps, that you would require my company this evening." She caressed his hand, a bare touch of skin against skin.
His hand was gone from underneath hers an instant later, and she found to her surprise that her angel had been swift enough to have it moved to her shoulder in the same time it had taken her eyes to flutter open. "'S very nice of you, Reinette, but I know you humans – you need your sleep! Sleep, sleep, sleep – it's practically the only thing you do!"
"All the same, no man should be alone at this hour."
A smile blossomed on his face and she could feel her own lips curving upwards in response. That was, until his response came. "Oh, I'm not alone. Rose's waiting for me. Blimey, she's probably wondering if I've gotten lost by now."
"Rose?"
He nodded towards the kettle, somehow managing the rough movement without disturbing the biscuits. "Our midnight cuppa. We always have one before she goes to sleep."
A feeling of understanding enveloped her – this was an event the child had come to expect, like a nighttime tradition. And, of course, the Doctor was too much of a gentleman – a fact which did him much credit – to break such an engagement. She, however, was a patient woman and it would not be the first time she attended to her duties at a late hour. "Perhaps afterwards…" A note of promise tinted her words as she trailed off.
She became the recipient of another smile. "Naaaaah. No use for you waiting up all night. I appreciate it, but like I said, Rose and I usually talk late. Talk for hours, we do. Besides, I like reading in her room afterwards. Almost done with Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Now there's a future classic for you! I think I might even snag a part when they make a film out of it." He pulled his ear. "Just a small part, mind. Nothing bigger than Barty Crouch Jr., definitely… Anyway, no need to stay up. Go to bed. Relax. Big adventure tomorrow. Can't have you all dead on your feet then!"
"The late hour is of no matter, Doctor. I am not unaccustomed to my Lord requiring my assistance when the night is at its darkest."
"Yes, but that's not why I brought you onboard – you're here to enjoy the universe. You're not my assistant. Well, no one on board is, in fact. No need to do me any uncomfortable favors. Just go to bed and sleep well." Releasing her shoulder with a final tightening of his hand, he returned his attention back to his half-sliced fruit.
Although there was nothing in his tone to suggest it, his voice ever as pleasant, she could not help but suspect she had been dismissed. "I shall see you tomorrow, then, Doctor."
He gave another start, his head bobbing up in a sharp movement, as though he was surprised she was still there. "What? Oh. Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow. —Bugger. The water's gone cold again and I'm already late. I wonder if she'll notice if I cheat a bit and boil the water in the cups on my way over…"
She left the room without any further utterances or offers of a good night. She suspected it would have made no difference. Even now, it was as though he had forgotten that she had ever occupied the room with him at all.
Waking up with no one waiting to attend to her dress was a peculiar feeling, but it was a feeling Reinette presumed she would have to get used to. The Doctor appeared to only have Rose and Mickey in his entourage, and she had yet to see them partake in any duties.
But no matter – she needed new clothes. The Doctor had mentioned an adventure and, by the manner in which Rose had spoken to him about it, wearing clothes which would allow for her to run – should the need for it arise – would be a far more pertinent choice than her gowns.
And perhaps…
Oh, her dear Luis had always preferred her most expensive dresses – to him, beauty and luxury went hand-in-hand. But to her angel? The finery seemed not to have inspired any reaction, at least none of those she had wished for.
She moved towards her clothing cabinet, a tingle of anticipation coursing through her body. An almost overwhelming variety of clothes was offered to her inside of it – there were not only gowns of the kind she was familiar with, but also garments similar to the ones she had seen Rose wear.
She did not know what to think about those. They were unlike anything she had ever seen before – they appeared simple and unrefined to her, the fabric coarse and unadorned, and their shape…
Loose shifts and breeches, with an indistinct waist and nothing to define the hips, there was little to distinguish between the garments Rose had worn and those carried by Mickey. Oh, the Doctor had been marked as an eccentric by the people of Versailles because of the odd cut of his attire, but that was nothing compared to what would have been whispered about the poor child, had she been seen.
That, however, appeared to mean little to the Doctor. He had, after all, bestowed the girl with his smile.
Perhaps it was even where his preference lay…
Allowing a hand to travel over the different fabrics, she soon found a pair of breeches that were pleasantly soft to her touch and a shirt similar to the one the Doctor wore underneath his jacket. However, where his was a pain blue, hers was decorated with fine embroidery. To her, admittedly untrained eye, the combination seemed agreeable – the colors were pleasing and the garments would allow her to move unhindered.
After having dressed and pinned up her hair, she studied herself in the mirror. The clothes were certainly different from what she was used to, but she could not help but think they complimented her shape, if in a different manner to her gowns – a man could ride for many miles without seeing legs as good as hers.
Anticipation grew in her veins as she made her way through the corridors – how would the Doctor react when he beheld her in her new garments?
She paused outside the first door she came across. She could only hope that the ship had led her where she needed to be as she had received no other instruction other than 'I'll see you tomorrow' the night before. She could, however, hear voices from within – a positive sign, she was sure.
"Are you making those banana pancakes again, boss?"
"Nothing like a good banana to start off the day, Mickey Smith."
"Yeah, but having banana pancakes three days in a row? Bit obsessive."
"Oi! If you don't like it, you can cook your own breakfast!"
"How come you're cooking Rose something else, then?"
"Well… I, err—"
"Yeah. Thought so."
The door swung open and she was surprised to find herself in the same room she had located the Doctor inside the night before. But, where it had appeared almost empty to her then, it was now furnished with a large table and four chairs.
The Doctor held out a plate. "Ah, Reinette. Morning. Banana pancake?"
"I thank you. Yes." She stopped before him, accepting the plate graciously as she awaited his verdict.
To her surprise, he did not utter a single word on the matter. He moved back to the stove, his full attention directed at the food cooking in the pans. Instead it was the other man, Mickey, who reacted to her appearance.
He let out a low whistle. "Not bad! Very posh – never would have guessed you were an old Frenchie."
Reinette tilted her head and she could feel a light crease of confusion mar her features – the language was coarser than she was used to, yet the tone of his voice was honest and kind. "It is very impolite of me to ask, but your manner of speaking is unlike any I have encountered before. Am I correct in my belief that it was a compliment?"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry."
"Then I thank you. You are very kind."
Mickey smiled, a look of amusement passing over his face as his gaze travelled back to the doorway. He inclined his head sharply and Reinette was surprised to find Rose standing there in what she could only assume to be her nightgown – the garment both askew and rumpled. Her hair was a nest of tangles, framing her pale face and unfocused eyes.
At Versailles she would have been far more likely to see the castle on fire than a woman, of any standing, breaking decorum in a manner such as this.
An instant later, the Doctor was by her side, pressing a cup of tea into Rose's hands before leading her to the table. "Morning, Rose! I've got your breakfast waiting for you."
Her response was a mere groan.
The smile upon the darker man's face turned playful. "Watch this," he murmured before raising his voice yet again. "I am really kind, yeah. And completely unappreciated, isn't that right boss? Should be given an award. Like the Nobel Prize for brilliance, or something."
The Doctor nodded, his gaze never straying from Rose's plate as he dusted the oatmeal with sugar, berries and milk. It was like watching the hands of a sculptor, Reinette realized, his every movement precise and carefully measured.
"Basically," Mickey said, "you can say anything when they're like this and they'll agree. 'S like they're on their own planet."
Reinette's eyes lingered on the Doctor's hand as he threaded his fingers through Rose's tousled tresses and found that she could not disagree.
"Well then, first trip into time and space for one Madame de Pompadour. Any suggestions of where to go? Rose?"
"Hey! Why does she get to pick when it's Madam Pompom's first trip? 'Sides, it's my second trip and you decided to go all random yesterday. Should be our choice today!"
A dark eyebrow rose high upon the Doctor's forehead and the hand, which he had placed above one of the many levers, stilled. "Well, as you rightly put it, it's her first and your second trip. It's not as if you have extensive traveling experience yet – how'd you know what to choose? For all you know, the place you'd like to see might not exist except in your own head. Rose, on the other hand, is basically a space expert by now."
The other man let out a short laugh. "Yeah, I bet that's what you told her on her first trip."
"Ah. Now, you see—"
The fair child stepped forward. "How about they just…tell me what they want, and we'll see if I can come up with a place that matches it, yeah?" Her hand brushed against the Doctor's and its effect on his countenance was immediate, turning his smile brilliant and his gaze soft.
Oh, to see that light upon his features directed upon herself…how Reinette longed to inspire it.
The Doctor turned, a pale shadow of his smile lingered upon his features, and she was lost. Its power, although far diluted in strength than it had been mere seconds before, was enough for her knees to weaken. "Sounds good to me!" he said a moment later. "There we go. Perfect solution, as always. Wouldn't you say, Reinette?"
Her breath came out in a startled gasp and she struggled to keep her voice steady. "It is indeed an acceptable compromise."
"There we go! Go on then, tell her what you want."
"Alien," Mickey declared. "Not just 'France is like another planet'-alien. Somewhere proper alien."
"Gotcha, Micks. That narrows it down a bit. Where would you like to go, Reinette?"
It was the question she had been longing to hear ever since she had been a child and Fireplace Man had vanquished the monster hiding underneath her bed. To finally hear it voiced should fill her with such delight, yet it did not. Although joy was thrumming through her being, the feeling was tainted by the knowledge that it had not been uttered by her angel – never during her moments of make-believe had the possibility even suggested itself to her.
Yet she could not help but acknowledge that perhaps her feelings were ungrateful and petty. Indeed, as the Doctor rightly had pointed out, she lacked the experience required to select a destination with any proper consideration – experience which the blonde child certainly had. She herself was currently onboard the Doctor's ship to provide him the kind of company neither Mickey nor Rose could give. Everything had its place, and every person a role to fill. Such were the routines of any well organized court. In the future, when she herself had gained more familiarity of the skies, then her sweet Angel would turn to her. "Oh, I wish," Reinette paused, her mind painting worlds she had so often dreamed of traversing in her youth. "Like Mickey, I wish to walk the ground of a world unlike my own. You might think me silly, but I should very much like to see life at a court. After all, life in Versailles is at present the only I know."
"Oh, an alien court with royals. One worth visiting. Now that narrows it down, wouldn't you say, Rose?" The Doctor stepped back, shoulder brushing against shoulder as he returned to Rose's side. For a short instant, they appeared almost as one, the space between their bodies nonexistent.
The child smiled, her tongue resting on her lip as she gazed up. "It does, yeah."
"Mmm," her angel replied, voice almost breathless. "So, come on then! What d'you have for me?"
"Oh, I'm thinking another planet."
"Brilliant place to start!"
"An' we need a place with plenty of culture."
"Oh, yes. Plenty of culture!"
"With friendly locals."
"Oh, we wouldn't bother with any other kind today, I think."
"An' royals who don't mind visitors."
"The best kind of royals, really."
"I'm thinkin'—"
"—Ariemet!" they finished together, their laughter twinkling in concert like a symphony of joy and, for a moment, Reinette could not help but wonder if Rose and the Doctor had already traversed into a different world, leaving her and Mickey to trail lost and alone in their wake.
A deep sigh erupted from Mickey as he shook his head. "Get a room, will you?"
The look which the Doctor bestowed the other man was filled with confusion. "'Get a room', he says just as we pick a destination. Now, why would we do that? Not very practical, is it?"
The only reply he received from the other man was the roll of his eyes.
"Ignore 'im. Go on then, Doctor. Get us to Ariemet."
The Doctor's dance around what he had earlier declared to be the console was a peculiar yet majestic sight to behold – he leapt to and fro, displaying no shame at having to do so as he pushed and pressed the various levers. The feeling of anticipation began to grow within her – she knew from the tales that her precious angel had told her that his ship had the ability to appear and disappear, from one place to another, in the mere blink of an eye. To have a ship of such ability…even in her most thrilling dreams of adventures, her imagination had not been sufficient to envision such a vessel for him.
The ship rose with a groan, trembling and shuddering and Reinette could not help her tumble to the floor, her balance long lost, as fear began to plant its roots where anticipation previously had dwelled within her bosom. Then, as suddenly as it had begun, the ship quivered to a halt and silence reigned, for a brief moment leaving the sound of her own frightened heart beating in her ears as the only noise she could perceive.
An instant later, the impression was shattered by the sound of Rose's giggles.
It was a chiming sound, filled with amusement and a joy for life which Reinette could only wonder if she, herself, had ever felt. With fear still pulsing in her veins, it was through the laughter that she could finally see what had previously evaded her – the reason why the Doctor, a man of such genius and power, kept Rose by his side.
It was as though she belonged.
As wondrous as the world of Ariemet was, Reinette was very happy indeed that she asked to see a court. The similarities between the world which she had always known and the one she had been brought to had kept her tethered and protected from their differences – life at court is, after all, life at court, no matter where in the skies it is placed and she felt safe in its familiarity.
She barely dared to think of the places she would be brought to in the future, places where she would not have the advantage of a familiar setting.
Nevertheless, Ariemet was very much what the Doctor and Rose had promised it to be – the people were more than amicable, and the prince himself had graced them with his presence earlier to give them a tour of the castle. The royal gardens were unlike any she had ever seen – the flowers swaying in the calm breeze almost appeared to glow in the soft light of the sun, yet she could not help longing for the garden she had left in Versailles. It might not have flowers of equal radiance, but she knew its every path, had tended every blossom herself…
"It can be a bit overwhelming in the beginning." The blonde child's voice broke through her reverie and she was startled to realize that she had stepped before her without her noticing. "You get used to it, though – get's easier when you realize they're just people like us."
Reinette allowed a smile to light her features. "Indeed."
"You're smarter than I am, though, asking for a place you sort of recognize on your first go. I got the end of the world on my first trip, yeah? Aliens everywhere – like proper aliens, blue skin and everything! I was so out of it I ran off."
"Yet you stayed afterwards."
"Yeah." Rose nodded. "So did you."
A small sigh of air passed through her lips and her polite smile faltered. "Yes, but perhaps for a different reason."
The other blonde shook her head, her expression matching her own. "Nah, I'm guessing it's pretty much the same one."
A look of understanding passed between them and Reinette could feel the quirk of her lips growing less polite and more genuine in nature. "If such is the case, I do believe your venture has been more successful than mine."
Rose laughed. "What? Me and the Doctor, you mean?" She tilted her head, eyes searching into the distance. She was a mere twenty years old, yet there was something older and wiser in her gaze. For the first time, Reinette could see the woman rather than the child standing before her. An instant later, Rose laughed again, and the expression was lost, her youthful expression and joy returning. "I wish. The Doctor doesn't do that."
Reinette clasped her hand. "Not with me, perhaps. With you…" she trailed off, taking in the hand resting in her hold – it was far coarser than her own, with its nails short and little of their polish remaining. Yet, it was the hand which found itself enveloped into the Doctor's strong grip with more regularity than any other. "Very few things are as hard to hide as love, Rose."
"The Doctor doesn't—" she stuttered, a blush staining her fair cheek. "I mean, he hasn't—"
"When there is a fire, there is very little said about its smoke. Perhaps there are some things that do not need to be said when they can be seen." With a last nod, she released Rose's hand, stepping back onto the small path she had been treading before.
Ever since the Doctor had appeared in her fireplace, saving her life from a clockwork man, it had been easy to envision affection in his eyes. After all, she had met him when she was nothing more than a mere child, long before she had known what real love from a man looked like. His heroism and courage had burned in her imagination, turning it into far more than it had been. When she met him again she had been surprised to discover that, while years had passed for her, it had been nothing more than a few minutes to him and from that moment on, he had become more than her savior. Instead, he had become an angel, sent from the heavens to protect her. It had been easy to imagine that he had been there for her – little Reinette Poisson – and not because adventure had simply brought him there.
So eager to believe her own dreams, she had even entered into the Doctor's ship decades later without any questions, certain in her knowledge that she would now spend her nights in the arms of her angel, saving him from his loneliness as he had saved her.
Little had she known that he had not been in need of saving, at least not by her.
She spun around, catching a quick glimpse of the Doctor as he walked by, arms wound around his Rose, as he lead them towards yet another part of the park.
She could feel the tears burning in her eyes and she longed to let them fall.
Perhaps it would have been better to stay in Versailles. At least then she would have been allowed to keep her perfect image of her loving angel.
Instead she had been swept away across the stars, only to be turned into a mere observer of the story she had wished for but could never have.
The story of a lonely angel and his savior – the Doctor and his Rose.
Fin