Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina.
Who's pregnant?
It was a quite day a Hinata Lodge. Sarah and Seta are on a trip. Shinobu is cooking dinner. Su is watching Motoko train. Kitsune is spying on Keitaro and Naru at Naru's door. (This is a crime.)
Keitaro: Too bad about Mutsumi being sick and not able to study with us.
Naru: She'll be better in a few days.
Keitaro: Also, are you feeling better?
Naru: I just threw up this morning, but I am better now. Now, stop talking and study!
Keitaro: Okay.
Keitaro starts to study, then something catches his eyes from across the room. He looks closer and blushes when he realizes that Naru's pink panties are on the floor. Then he notices that the panties are for a waist 58 cm, not her normal 56 cm. At this moment, Naru notices that Keitaro is staring at something. She looks at where he is staring and sees her panties. Naru starts to turn red with rage.
Kitsune ( speaking quietly): Oh, Keitaro is in trouble. This should be good.
Naru: Keitaro, what are you staring at?!
Keitaro: Ummmmmm...
Naru: Keitaro you pervert!
She lands a fist of fury on Keitario, then she puts here panties away.
Keitaro (daze and confuse): Naru, I did not mean to look at your large panties.
He then covers his month with fear in his eyes.
Naru looks at Keitaro. Her eyes are pure red, and steam is coming out her ears. She begins to march towards him.
Naru: Did you say that I had large panties?
Keitaro: I meant to say...
Naru: It's not my fault that I am gaining weight from studying for Tokyo U!
Keitaro starts to think fast and nervously.
Keitaro: That is true. Unlike Kitsune, you have a reason for a few more pounds.
Kitsune begins to make her cat like stare at Keitaro
Naru: What did you say about Kitsune?
Keitaro ( Still nervous): She has gained a few pounds recently. It must be from all those sake she drinks. She is starting to look a little..
Naru: That is true. She has gained weight recently; however, she is my friend.
Naru punches Keitaro.
Naru: And this is for me.
While Keitaro is still in the air, she kicks him out the window. At the door, Kitsune starts to shed a few tears. She runs down stairs to her room.
A week passes and Keitaro and Naru are still studing without Mutsumi, and Naru is still feeling ill.
Keitaro: I hope Mutsumi gets better soon.
Naru: Yeah, me too. Keitaro, have you noticed that Kitsune has been acting funny?
Keitaro: Yeah, she is always in her room, and she stopped drinking sake.
Naru: Also, she only bathes by herself and is wearing baggy clothes.
Keitaro: Well, you're wearing baggy clothes too.
Naru hits Keitaro with her book.
Naru: I don't need you to tell me that.
Kitsune knocks on Naru's door then walks in.
Kitsune (She looks sad.): Keitaro, can I talk to you alone in my room?
Keitaro (Looks at Naru, then Kitsune.): Okay.
Kitsune leads Keitaro to her room. Naru follow them and spies at the door. Motoko, Su and Shinobu see what is happening and sneak up behind Naru.
Su: What are you doing? Spying on Keitaro and Kitsune?
Naru (She is startled): No, I am ...I am just looking for Tama.
Su: In that case, we will look for Tama at the Kitsune's door too. If Tama show up, I will eat her.
Su smiles with pride.
Motoko: I will stay to make sure Keitaro doesn't do anything to Kitsune. If he does, I shall punish him.
Haruku walks up to everyone.
Haruka: You do know that spying is a crime.
Shinobu (With fright in her voice): We're not spying. We are just looking for Tama.
Haruka: In that case, move out of the way. Keitario is my nephew.
Back in Kitsune's room.
Kitsune: (With a serious expression on her face.) Keitaro, please sit down.
Keitaro takes a seat on the floor.
Kitsune: Do you remember the party that Hinata Lodge had five weeks ago?
Keitaro: Yes, I remember parts of it.
Kitsune takes a nervous gulp
Kitsune: Do you remember anything weird happening at or after the party?
He starts to blush.
Keitaro: I had a lot to drink so part of that night is a blur; however, I thought that there was a girl in my room, but that is impossible.
Naru, Motoko, Su and Shinobu think to themselves "Damn right".
Kitsune (She has expression of shame on her face): Not true. I was in your room that night. Also, I am five weeks pregnant.
Kitsune starts rubbing her belly. Keitaro's eyes start popping out as he looks at her stomach. Shinobu begins to cry and run away. Motoko, Naru, Su, Haruka burst into Kitsune's room.
Naru: Keitaro, you baka! What have you done?!
The flames of hell surround her head.
Keitaro: I ....I do ..I don't....I don't know what I've done.
Kitsune: What do you mean you don't know what you've done?! You knocked me up!
Tears start to run down her face.
Motoko: Keitario, you have taken Kitsune's chastity and made her cry. This is most unforgivable! I shall punish you!
Motoko's eyes have a glimmer of death to them.
Su: What is pregnant? And is knocked up somewhat delicious?
Haruka: I better put out this cigarette.
Motoko and Naru rush at Keitaro. He gets up and jumps out the window for safety. Motoko and Naru start to chase him.
Keitario: Please...please don't.......please don't kill me!
Motoko: Too late for forgiveness. Succession move, Zankusen.
He is thrown into a wall.
Keitaro: Please..
Naru: Do not try begging.
She starts to kick him. Motoko and Naru bull tie Keitaro, then they hang him from the roof of the hallway.
Motoko: What should we do to him?
Naru: We should crucify him before he can have anymore perverted offspring that will damage the human gene pool!
Keitaro: Anything but that! I have a child to raise.
Motoko (She starts to blush): No, we should cut off his manhood!
She pulls out her sword.
Keitaro: Crucify me.
Naru: We need to let Kitsune decide. Until then, he shall stay tied up in the hall for all to laugh at him.
Motoko and Naru go back to Kitsune's room.
Haruka: You didn't kill Keitaro, right?
Naru: Who cares?
Motoko: No, but everyone would be better off if we did.
Naru: Kitsune, how did this happen?
Kitsune: Well, it's kind of smutty.
Su: Is smutty delicious?
Haruka: Where did you come from? This kind of talk is not for kids.
Haruka puts Su outside. Su goes back to Kitsune's door to listen in on the conversion . Shinobu shows up as well to hear what happened.
Kitsune: It started with me being drunk and accidentally going into Keitario's room after the party. I got into his bed, then...
Kitsune: One hour latter, it was all over. I got up and went back to my room.
Shinobu passes out from the story. Su starts to think that Kitsune's story sounds fun. Motoko whole face is blushing while she has been brought to her knees. Naru's face is in shock and Haruka looks disappointed.
Naru: That is not humanly possible! There is no way he could be that good and bold in bed. If he was, he would have tried something with me by now. He has had four opportunities.
Naru starts to turn red as she covers her mouth.
Motoko (with a red face): Um.. Did he really do that thing with his tongue?
Kitsune: Which thing?
Motoko (still blushing): Never mind.
Haruka: We need to decide what to do now. Kitsune, you need to see the doctor tomorrow and take a pregnancy test.
Kitsune: Okay.
Naru (Naru has an evil look in her eyes): But for now, let us decide how to punish Keitaro.
Motoko, Naru and Kitsune decided an evil punishment, then they go back to the hall where Keitaro is still tied up.
Naru: Keitaro, we are going to untie and let you go. However,
Motoko: What you have done is truly despicable, and you will pay the price.
He takes a gulp
Keitaro: Your not going to ...
He begins to cry.
Keitaro: ...cut off my manhood.
Kitsune (Her face has a cat like expression as she smiled): Maybe. It would make a nice ornament.
Naru: You will find out tomorrow.
They walk off with evil thoughts in mind.
Keitaro: Why did this have happen to me?
Su (appearing from nowhere): It is because you knocked up Kitsune. You pervert.
Keitaro goes to his room where he cries all night. From above, Naru hears him.
Naru (thinking): I'm beginning to feel sorry for him. It is not completely his fault, and he has been tortured all day after getting the news. Maybe, I can talk the others into not punishing him that badly.
Naru pops her head through the hole between her room and Keitaro's room.
Naru: Are you all right?
Keitaro: I guess.
Naru: What are you going to do about Kitsune now?
Keitaro: I don't know. Help her raise the kid.
Naru: What? You're not planing to marry her?
Keitaro: I don't know.
Naru: What? You are going to let her have a baby out of wedlock? What does is it take to get you married?
Keitaro: Well, I don't love Kitsune. If it were you then I would, but ....
He covers his mouth. Naru jumps down into Keitaro's room.
Naru: What did you say?
Keitaro: Ohhhhhh.
Naru: Are you saying that you wish you knocked me up. You baka!
She knocks Keitaro out, and jumps back into her room.
Naru (thinking): He hasn't learned a thing; however, he will tomorrow.
Keitaro wakes up with Motoko, Naru and Kitsune standing above him. They each have a bag in their hand and evil in their eyes.
Keitaro: What are you doing?
Kitsune: This is part one of your punishment.
The three ladies start ripping off Keitaro's clothes and add the materials from the bags to his body.
Keitaro: Hey, don't touch me there! Nooooooooo!
Haruka, Su and Shinobu wait outside Keitaro's room to see his punishment.
Haruka: Keitaro, come out.
Keitaro: No. There is no one on earth that can make me leave my room looking like this.
Motoko: Really.
Motoko grabs Keitaro and throws him threw his door into the hall.
Keitaro gets off the ground and stands up. He is wearing a maternity dress and has a pillow tied under it. Also, he is wearing a sign that says, I am a leech, pervert and dirty man. Please keep your kids and women away from me. All the ladies surround him in the hall.
All the ladies: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Kitsune: Now, it is part two of your punishment.
Keitaro: Part two?
Naru: Yes, you will be Kitsune's slave, and do her bidding.
Motoko: You will take her shopping as well.
Haruka: And, take her to the doctor.
Keitaro: Well, I better change clothes and get to work.
Keitaro beings to enter his room.
Kitsune: No, you must do these things in that outfit.
Keitaro: What?
Naru: Those clothes will teach you the pain that Kitsune will go through in four months when she looks like that.
Motoko: If you dare take them off, I will punish you.
She takes her blade out and points it at his crotch.
Keitaro (nervously): Okay. Okay.
Keitaro get straight to work. He cleans Kitsune's room, then organizes her reading material (gambling books). Next, he washes her clothes and makes her lunch.
Kitsune: Keitario, it is time to go shopping.
Keitaro: Okay.
Haruka: Don't forget to see the doctor at 1:30.
Keitaro and Kitsune go into town and begin to shop.
Keitaro (thinking): Everyone keeps on staring at me. This is embarrassing. Why do I have to go through this? At least, people will except Kitsune looking pregnant. She is a woman, but I am a man. What time is it?
He looks at his watch.
Keitaro: It's 1:28. Kitsune, we have to run.
Kitsune: Why?
Keitaro: The doctor's appointment.
Kitsune: Well, it's too late now. I can't run. I'm pregnant.
Keitaro: Well, we should return to Hinata Lodge then.
Back at Hinata Lodge's living room.
Haruka: How did the doctor's appointment go?
Keitaro: We missed it.
Every walks into the living room.
Naru: How did the doctor's appointment go?
Keitaro: We missed it.
Naru: What? You know that your good for nothing, right?
Haruka: Kitsune, what pregnancy test did you take? Was it Y.B.T?
Kitsune: (Getting nervous) Yes, it was the Y.B.T.
Haruka: Really. That's the You're Busted Test. There is no Y.B.T.
Kitsune: Damn, you caught me. I'm not pregnant. I was just getting back at Keitaro for saying I gained weight.
Everyone looks at Kitsune angrily.
Everyone: You were lying about being pregnant.
Kitsune (thinking quickly): Oh. Keitaro, who was that girl in your room that night?
Everyone looks at Keitaro.
Motoko (loudly): If it wasn't Kitsune...
Naru (loudly): then who was it?
Mutsumi then walks through the front door of Hinata Lodge and into the living room looking ten pounds heavier.
Mutsumi: It was me and Naru.
Naru: What?
Mutsumi: Yes, we both got very drunk at the party. Then we accidentally got in Keitaro's room and passed out. When I woke up, I went looking for more alcohol.
Mutsumi starts to smile
Mutsumi: Is anything wrong?
Naru: That can't be. I don't remember being in Keitaro's room that night or morning. How did I get out?
Mutsumi: I don't know. How did you get out?
Kitsune: Naru and Mutsumi, you know that you both have gained weight and been sick. Are you both pregnant?
Naru: AHHHHH!
Chapter two: The pregnancy tests
Preview
Mutsumi: My pregnancy test turned blue.
Naru: My pregnancy test turned pink
Keitaro: Oh God!