Summary: Blaine bumps in to Finn and Puck while he's trying to buy condoms. Need I say more? Klaine, crack.
Rated: T...I think.
Blaine walked slowly through the isle in the Wal-Mart closest to Kurt's house. School let out about an hour ago and Blaine had to make a quick stop before picking up his boyfriend for their monthly sleepover. He scanned the shelves, eyes squinting to find what he was looking for. When he found the object, he lifted the box from the bottom shelf and turned it to read the back.
Warming sensation for maximum plea-
"Dude, you seriously need to start using these!"
The hair on the back of Blaine's neck stood up and he was sure he faintly resembled a deer in the headlights. He spun around and came face to face with Puck and Finn, who were standing alarmingly still. Puck looked mischievous, while Finn shuffled from one foot to the other with discomfort.
"Oh...uh, hey Blaine." Finn was bright red and looked as if he had done something wrong. He stared at the ground like it was the most fascinating thing on the planet.
"Hi there, Finn. What, uh, what brings you here?" Blaine was all too aware of the condoms resting in one hand behind his back.
"Finn needs to buy some wrapping for his junk, if you know what I mean." Puck's smile grew evil. "And, judging by your owlishly large eyes and red cheeks, I'd say you're doing the same."
Finn's head snapped up and he stared holes through Blaine.
"What? But I thought you and Kurt-"
"That's not really any of your business," Blaine said quickly. He nodded to the two boys and turned to leave, only to have the box snatched out of his hand by Puck.
"Warming sensation for maximum pleasure. Hmm. Kurt isn't warm enough already?" Blaine just knew he was bright red by now. He reached out to grab the box back but Puck took a step away from him.
"Why do you guys even use condoms? I mean, it's not like you can get each other pregnant or anything," Finn said, recovering from his discomfort.
"It's safe. Y'know, just in case."
"Unless...these aren't meant for Kurt?" Puck's smile turned down, replaced by a menacing look. Blaine rolled his eyes and attempted to grab the box again.
"Of course they are. Who else could I possibly want to sleep with?"
"Johnny Depp?" Finn guessed as his eyes slowly raked over the shelves, looking for what he needed.
"True...Jeez, this is awkward."
"Hey, I'm the one who should be scandalished. I mean, you're buying condoms to use on my little brother."
"It's scandalized, Finn. And Kurt is older than you. Besides, Rachel and I are very good friends, but you don't see me making you feel awkward about buying them for her, do you? I'm glad you guys are being safe."
Silence followed as Finn continued to stare at the shelves, lost. Blaine was tempted to offer him some assistance but not prepared for that level of mortification. Puck continued to read the back of the box silently.
"Large?" Puck raised an eyebrow, looking Blaine up and down. "Guess it's true what they say about short guys, then."
"Noah, give it back!"
"I wonder what size Kurt gets..." he mused as he handed the box slowly back to Blaine. "Probably small. Maybe medium."
Blaine huffed indignantly, and without even thinking about it, snatched another box off one of the shelves and threw it to Puck.
"Trojan Extended Pleasure Condoms...Extra large...Why-"
"That's what Kurt gets," Blaine spat out, feeling offended by the assumptions about his boyfriend.
"E-extra large? Kurt?"
"Yes. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date."
With that, he stuck his chin up in the air and went to pay for the condoms, blocking out the shocked mutterings of his friends as he walked away.
The things he did for love.
Just got this idea while on Tumblr (nerdypuff, follow me PLEASE!) and decided to run with it. It was much better in my head, but I guess it's still okay. Anyone, reviews would make me a very happy cookie. :)