I know how it happened, but it doesn't make any since to me. I guess I'm insane, that's what they tell me. They call me a beast, a monster. At least they did...when they were alive. I'm glad they're dead. I guess that proves what they said about me. But if I am a monster, it's their fault. I didn't start out as one, I don't think. Maybe somewhere in me I'm still not one, but when I start trying to think before I do something or try and stop myself while I'm doing it, it doesn't work anymore. Something stopped in my head. They gave me a taste of something and now I want more and more. They thought these little drips and drops could actually quaff this terrible thirst. It's like a vampire feeding off of wine instead of blood, it doesn't work. Wine's not bad, don't get me wrong, but it's the realness of blood. It's the actual killing that makes blood so special. You are taking something that is vital to both you and someone else. That someone else pays dearly and you go on with your life with nothing but a full belly and a little piece of guilt. So, you go on drinking and gathering pieces of guilt, and one day you just have too much guilt and you stand out in the sun or get yourself staked because you've got to get rid of this guilt somehow. The question is...what if you don't feel the guilt? What if it doesn't affect you? I think that's what they took out of me when they put in the Magitek. There wasn't enough room for that emotion anymore and it's not particularly important at first glance. In fact, it wouldn't have been a problem if they hadn't given me a sip of power, my own blood to feed upon. There is no way to gain power without stepping on someone, and the more power, the more people you have to step on.
Wait, I'm going too fast. Maybe I should start at the beginning instead of the middle. I should have thought of it first but it seemed too logical. Stories start at the beginning for a reason though, and my father might actually be a rather large part of this puzzle.