And I hope my words will get through
Cause now I can't forget you
I want to tell you
If only I could reach you

Good Charlotte : 'Change'

Harry lay on the dry summer grass, eyes transfixed on the blue sky above him. He closed his eyes feeling the sun warming his skin. A crunching beneath heavy feet alerted him yet he stayed perfectly still until he felt someone standing watching him. His eyes flickered open, squinting momentarily against the glare of the sun. With a push Harry lifted himself up, sweat trickling down his back beneath his green t-shirt. A lightly stubbled face framed with long lark hair smiled down at him. Harry leapt to his feet
"Sirius ?" He whispered incredulously "but you ...you can't be here ...you can't..."
"Well I am." Was Sirius' soft reply, taking a step towards Harry.
"Bu ..but you ...you fe..."
"Shh Harry." Sirius hushed him and, taking his hand, pulled him in against his chest. Harry choked back sobs as his hands gripped the back of Sirius' shirt. A hand stroked Harry's hair as a strong arm wrapped round him. Sirius pulled away slightly, planting a soft kiss on Harry's forehead. He nuzzled his face into Harry's messy hair, kissing the top of his head.
"I'm sorry Harry." Harry pulled his face from Sirius' chest and peered up with red eyes and blotchy cheeks "I'm sorry I couldn't save James and Lily. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you more. I'm sorry I never had the chance to look after you properly." Tears streamed down Harry's face and he pressed himself tighter against Sirius. "I'm sorry I won't be around to protect you when the time comes." Sirius pulled away, cupping Harry's tear stained cheeks in his hands. He looked straight at his godson, gaze never faltering even as tears welled in the corners of his own dark eyes "but most of all, I'm sorry I won't have the chance to love you properly." He leant in and placed a light kiss on Harry's lips. Harry let out a quiet sob, pressing his mouth harder into Sirius'. He wrapped his arms tightly around his godfathers waist, intent on never letting go. One of Sirius' hands stroked tears from Harry's cheek as the other snaked round the back of his head, toying with the hair at the nape of his neck. His tongue penetrated Harry's mouth for a brief moment before he pulled away. Completely.

"Sirius ...no ..." Harry gripped his godfathers hand as he tried to back away only to find Sirius being pulled away from him.
"Everyone has their time, a time to live, a time to die and a time to shine. You're strong Harry, you can make it through with or without me."
"No," Harry began to shout through sobs "I need you ...I've lost you once I can't again." His surroundings grew darker until it was just he and Sirius left. Harry could feel his grip slipping slowly as Sirius became farther and farther out of reach.
"But Harry ...I was never really back was I ?" Harry sobbed and dropped to his knees where there had once been grass and now only darkness dwelled. He dropped his head, unwilling to see his godfather fall away from him again.

Harry awoke, sweat matting his hair to his forehead mingling with the tears that had fallen. He sat up and pulled his knees in against his chest, wrapping his arms round them. His breath came shallow as he attempted to calm down, failing miserably as he remembered Sirius' words and the taste of him on his own lips. With forced effort he made a move to take his glasses from the bedside table and push them up his drenched face. He pulled an album from under the bed and flipped a few pages ahead as he headed over to the windowsill and sat down, looking at the first few rays of sun creeping pink amongst the houses. Harry ran a hand over the picture, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. There he was. Sirius, standing with his mother and father, laughing and smiling. The page held the memory of his two parents that he'd never known yet missed and loved in equal amounts, between them stood his godfather. The man who had filled the role of parent for two years. Not nearly long enough. Harry had often wondered why his love for Sirius had been something different to parental but never questioned it, only accepted it as love. Something he had been starved of in any form. Now he had lost them all. There really was no family left. He looked back out at the peaceful streets, muggles still tucked up in bed, no concerns or inclination about the war that built beneath their very eyes. Sunlight caught Harry's face as it marginally rose above the roof tops and he wondered how many more families he would have to see torn apart. How many more people he himself would lose.