We Are Eternal.
He caught Simon several times standing beside a window during the day, pulling back the curtain and letting in the light. He knew Simon missed the feel of the sun, the warmth and the light that brought him joy. Except now he was a vampire, dead and cold, living in an eternal night with nothing but blood to quench his thirst.
There were times when Raphael thought he'd lose Simon to Clary and her Shadowhunters. They were a light that he and his vampires couldn't fill, a portion of Simon's former life that could fill the emptiness he felt. The void that also pushed him away.
He wasn't stupid to know where he stood. In several years, possibly decades, his friends will die and Simon would stay how he is. Immortal, eternally bound to the darkness. A monster thirsting for waking lives.
He wondered if he could help Simon, since he knew first hand how it felt to live this way. That Simon will one day get used to it, even when he didn't want too.
"Don't get too close, you'll burn," Raphael said, leaning against the door post.
Simon jumped, his hand skimmed the streak of light and he pulled back, his teeth clenching as he gave Raphael a sheepish grin. The curtain fell into place, blocking out the light and putting them back into the darkness where Raphael knew they were supposed to be.
Simon looked down at his hand, the skin already healing. He let out an agonized groan before running his fingers through his hair with the same hand. "I wasn't.. Doing anything.."
Raphael glanced around the room and nodded. The windows were boarded up for precaution, except it seemed that Simon had torn off a piece and used it to let in some of the light. It was a bit afflicting.
"Of course you weren't. How about tonight you get that reboarded up and I won't dock the next time you feed."
Simon frowned. "It wasn't like I was going to lead you all in here and burn you with this small streak of light."
There were also times when he regretted Simon's involvement in certain situations, or the way he forgets to duct tape his mouth shut.
Simon fidgets and walks away from the curtain. "I was just thinking about.."
"The redhead," Raphael finishes. He wasn't going to say it out loud, but there were times when he wanted to find a way for Simon to stop thinking about her, to stop frowning every time he sees her with the blond Shadowhunter.
Simon exhales and leaves the room without another word, which to Raphael is practically surprising and bitterly dramatic.
The next time he finds Simon going through another one of his afflictions is when he's training with one of the other vampires. Raphael was walking by, holding a clipboard in one hand and reviewing it, some documents were given to him by Magnus for him to look over and he wasn't going to deny a little help from the Warlock.
It's only when he tastes blood in the air and hears Simon groan in pain. He looks into the training room to see Simon on the ground and from the pained expression on his face reminds Raphael of the night he became a vampire. Dirtied, emotions flickering across his face, hands shaking and hunger overlapping everything else. His fangs had jutted out and he turns his body, just like he did when he almost attacked Clary and Raphael had to pull him back.
Unlike that time, Simon attacks the vampire. Simon is slower, much too slow and he's slammed onto his back, a choked cry leaves his lips as he manages to roll on his stomach, lifting himself up. Sweaty strands of his dark hair stick to his forehead as he growls at the vampire, blood is trailing from his scalp and his knuckles, it stains the floor and his clothes.
Raphael didn't realize he moved until he grabbed Simon before he could attack the vampire. Everyone else in the room freeze at seeing their leader intervening, it's silent in the room until Raphael tells everyone to get out.
Simon's body is thrumming with need, his eyes blown out and his teeth elongated. He snarls, except he doesn't move from Raphael's hold. He watches the vampires leave like the predator he is, but Raphael knows he's mistaken prey for ally while being deprived of blood.
"Get a hold of yourself," Raphael says, loosening his grip on Simon. "Let's get you some blood."
Simon twitches in which Raphael wonders how long Simon went without blood. He stares past Raphael, blinking every few seconds, his teeth clench and when Raphael takes Simon wrist, Simon blinks at him in surprise.
"Come on," Raphael says and Simon nods.
It's only then that Raphael is truly taking care of Simon. Making sure he doesn't choke on the blood he offers him, coaxing the 'baby' of Hotel DuMort to take slow sips and savor it. Simon is no longer seeing different things, that the people in the hotel aren't his enemies and that Raphael is standing before him, helping him.
"You're not going to kill anyone if you leave this room, right?" Raphael asked, disposing the blood bags and setting a glass half filled with blood on the counter beside Simon who stares at the wall near the door. He's no longer twitching, but there's more of a tiredness about him than hunger feeding his adrenaline and anger.
"No… I don't think so."
Raphael looks at him before grabbing his chin and turning his head to the side. Simon swatted his hand away from him, frowning.
"I'm okay."
"You don't look okay."
"I'm dead," Simon says, bitterly, "how else am I going to look?"
"Fed."
Simon glares at him and that's the end of that conversation. At least for awhile, he has someone make sure Simon isn't deprived of blood again, in case he goes off. There's also the thought of Simon not feeding at all, ignoring his instincts and letting it consume him.
It's what annoys Raphael the most, but he has other things to worry about.
When he comes across Simon in another compromising position, it's something he hadn't thought he would hear and maybe he was expecting it and maybe he wasn't. Most of the vampires went out partying and the hotel was empty except for him and… Simon.
Soft, intense cries fall from his lips, gasps that slam into the wall and hit the floor. Except Raphael is sure that his own blood is running hot for him to think of Simon this way, beyond a door with his hand down his pants.
"Ah.. haah.. Haaah.. Fuck. I'm close."
Raphael squeezes his eyes closed and leans against the wall. He imagines it and it's consuming until he hears his name uttered from Simon's mouth.
"Ah. Rah… Raphael.. I'm close…"
Raphael bites his bottom lip and walks away and this time he's sure it's him making the affliction. Except he can't, he knows he can't, not with Simon who's still learning the ways of living this eternal night.
The rest of the week goes by smoothly and sure Raphael has the audacity to avoid Simon, to not think of that night when he heard him so keenly through the door. He spots him through the crowd of vampires, hair pushed up, a leather jacket covering his black t-shirt and black pants. He looks ready to leave, a smile spreading across his face, pure and latent of any vampiric nature.
He finds himself going with them to one of the clubs, drinking until the lights merge with the people and the voices collide, it's only when he finds himself talking with Simon, trailing Simon out of the party and taking his hand.
"Coming home already, you looked like you were having fun with that…" Simon scrunches his brows, a mocking way of thinking that makes Raphael smile, "blonde haired chick."
"Jealousy suits you," Raphael says.
Simon rolls his eyes, smiling. "I'm not jealous. I just.. Thought maybe being the leader was exhausting and having a night with a girl would be fun, you know, relax a little."
"I'd rather relax with you."
Simon raises his brow. "Thought alcohol doesn't get to us."
Raphael shrugs. "It's wearing off." And with that, his hand slips from Simon's and an awkward silence pushes between them until they find themselves in the Hotel. Raphael walks to his bedroom, looking down at his hand where Simon's was and hated himself for pulling away.
"Raphael," Simon calls out.
He stops and turns around to see Simon walking toward him, and what he expects is exactly what he wanted. Simon grabs him and kisses him. It's instant and sloppy, pulling back Simon grits his teeth and gives a sheepish grin.
"I wanted to do that.. For awhile now.. Sorry."
"Don't apologize," Raphael says and it's when he pushes Simon against the wall in the dark hallway where he kisses him properly.
Later, he finds himself in his bed with Simon beside him, their clothes neatly intact, although Simon is lying partially on top of him without the leather jacket on, softly murmuring.
"What are you thinking about?" Raphael asks, stroking Simon's hair.
"You," Simon responds and it's exactly what Raphael wanted to hear.
He smiles and thinks maybe Simon can live like this, that he's ready for years to go by and that he'll never age, that drinking blood will become normalcy and being dead won't be such a hinderance. Now that Simon has him to guide and love him.
'We are eternal.'
.
.
fin.
authors notes: This was random. I wrote this quickly, so if there's any parts that make little sense, or grammar issues, my bad. Sorry. I might write some more Saphael, if I find some inspiration. :D
Reviews are appreciated. No flames or bashing please.