Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a second cycle, and then a third cycle Now here comes cycle 4! :D
"Benefactor"
Kurt & Quinn
Kurt didn't admit to feeling guilty too often. He wasn't going to apologize for doing what he did. But there were moments where he felt he had to do something to 'set the universe right again.'
It always started with how his stomach would feel as though someone had dropped a canon ball into it and made him sink into the earth. The feeling would stay there until he did something about it.
He hadn't taken into consideration, when he'd counselled Finn on telling the Fabrays about the baby, what could happen to Quinn. So when Finn had told him about them kicking her out… canon ball down the stomach.
He'd put it aside for the time to perform their song for Finn and Quinn. After it was over though, he'd been drawn to watch her go.
Before he'd told his father, before he'd come out with it and told him he was gay, he'd had the fear of something like this happening to him, that he'd get kicked out. He never saw his father as being one who'd do that, but then Quinn probably thought the same thing… and then her secret had come out.
To think his actions had precipitated that fate on to her in some way… it only made him feel worse. He'd headed home, thinking about Quinn the whole way.
They weren't friends, not really. They were in Glee Club together, but there wasn't much more to it than that. They didn't talk to each other all that much if ever outside of Glee, so that was that. Still, on some levels, they had the potential of friendship… but she was Finn's girlfriend and so in some ways his rival, which could only complicate things. It didn't mean he'd wish this on her, being kicked out of her home.
He didn't know how, but he had to make it up to her somehow. He knew nothing could really make it completely equal, but if he could help her, then it could be okay.
He thought of how he could do it. He didn't know her well enough to know how to get through with her, but he'd find something.
When Quinn had come to him, asking his help making Rachel over, his first instincts had gone to getting Rachel out of the way, Rachel and Quinn both, to getting one step or two closer to Finn.
Looking back at her though, he'd remembered his vow to himself. If this could help her, then it could be one notch in the right column for him. And if it helped him with the Finn situation, so be it.
The whole plan had gone off fairly well. He'd turned Rachel from a pantsuit mess to a head turner… which turned Finn's head right past her. Once Rachel had come to confront him, he'd been forced to face some facts about his potential with Finn, or lack thereof. But it wasn't the biggest thing he'd figured out that day.
He was not thinking of them as he had started through the hall. But then he'd paused, watching Finn and Quinn walk down the hall, arm in arm… They looked happy, the both of them together. Quinn looked at peace.
He finally understood. It was not something he wanted to admit, but it was still the truth. The best thing he could do for Quinn, to pay her back for his part in her getting kicked out… she already had it.
She was happy with Finn. He had her smiling. In that moment, it was one of the best assets to have on her side: a reason to smile. So the best thing he could do for her was to not mess it up for her. She needed him, and he wasn't going to intervene. He'd bow out with honor.
The next time he'd seen her, as they'd moved into the auditorium with their stools and colorful array of shirts, he'd landed on the stool next to her. They were not starting just yet, so he'd looked over at her.
"The color looks good on you," he'd spoken up. She'd smiled, after a moment. She'd looked back, making sure that Rachel, who was sitting to her right, wasn't listening. She was talking with Mike and Artie.
"Thanks," she'd nodded. "For the rest, too. Really." He wasn't even sure why she'd asked him for his help in the first place, the real reason. But finding out it had helped, it gave him some relief.
"You're welcome." He'd bowed his head, then, "So… how are you doing? Living with Finn…" He couldn't ask her out right 'how are you, now that your father threw you out?' The other question could get him the answer he needed just as well. From the look on Quinn's face, he knew it would be the case.
"Getting easier, I guess." He nodded.
"Well, that's good." She smiled lightly.
"Yeah."
Maybe one day he'd tell her the truth. For now, he was satisfied, being there to help if need be. She didn't need to know.
THE END