THE WORST BIRTHDAY
That joyous sound of the bell ringing at 11:30 fell upon the ears of all of South Park High School. Students and faculty alike came pouring out of doors, each one with the desire to be the first one to get food that day. Stan knew better than to run out with everyone, he wouldn't be the first person in line and where his class was it would be a little while until he was able to stand in any line and order food since the eating area was a walk away. But Stan didn't want to be the last kid out either, 3rd period was geology with Mr. Palmer and he hated being in the same room with a subject he could care less about with a teacher who knew his father was a geologist. But he knew he'd be stuck in geology sometime in his high school life so it didn't matter. Thankfully Stan was able to sneak past Token on the way out and wasn't the last one sitting.
A tall thin seventeen-year-old caught up with Stan as he walked out the building.
"Hey dude, buying today?" Kyle asked.
"Yeah, my mom's been too busy to make me sandwiches," Stan shrugged.
"You know you could make it yourself," Kyle suggested. At that moment Kenny and Butters popped up and walked with them.
"Too hard."
"Dude, you throw meat, cheese, veggies, and dressing on two slices of bread," Kyle said blankly.
Stan made a face as he stood in line for lunch. "When's the last time you saw veggies in anything I ate?"
Kyle shook his head and said something about going inside the cafeteria to order a chicken salad. Stan chatted with Butters and Kenny as he waited five minutes behind a fat blonde girl. Some schools in larger areas and cities had two lunches for its students since there were so many. There were hundreds of high schoolers in South Park but not enough for two lunches. Instead they had a nice long forty-minute lunch break which meant there was more time for everyone to get the food they wanted and still have time to eat it. Stan ordered a plate of shoestring chicken, a trial size of Doritos, a giant sugar cookie, and a Gatorade before getting to the usual table he sat with his friends.
Stan had acquired many friends once Jr. High had started and met even more people during high school. It was always difficult to pick and choose what group to sit with each day. He had his friends from his baseball team, a couple groups of students from school, and his friends he had had since he was in elementary school. He tried rotating it every day and today it was his old elementary friends. Cartman was already digging into his feast for lunch. Jimmy was sitting there too. Minutes after Stan, Butters, and Kenny took a seat Kyle joined.
"I don't know how you can put that filth in you dude, you don't even know what it is," Kyle noted to Stan's food.
"It's chicken," Stan said as he dipped his in ranch.
"They say it's chicken but it's probably loaded with so many hormones and additives. It's sick dude."
Stan frowned as he held up his skinny browned chicken strip. "I like them. They have a great spice to them. And are great with ranch dunked all over."
It was rather funny how different Stan and Kyle had become as they grew up. In kindergarten days they shared many similarities but now in high school it was clear how different the two had become. Kyle shot up in height at six foot two and played on the school's basketball team. He was also a part of the Chess Club, Science Club, Academic Decathlon, and pretty much every teacher's favorite student. He made money by fixing people's electronics being the geek he was. He also began advocating unhealthy food and it would annoy and disgust him how his best friend could eat anything as long as it had the word 'chicken, cheese, or chocolate' on it.
Stan meanwhile had grown into average height; 5' 8" just like his dad and as soon as he started High School became starting pitcher on the baseball team as well as shortstop. When he wasn't throwing balls he was making music with his band as lead singer and guitar, member of the school's Animal Club, Gay Straight Alliance Club, volunteered at the animal shelter, worked at Mountain Top Cupcakery, and somehow was able to take time for video game junk food nights.
It always did annoy his friends how he was so well-loved by everyone. He was popular without being popular. His old friends would roll their eyes at him for he was just what every girl wanted: good looking without trying, was in a band, on a sports team, and had a very big heart. Up until Kyle got his first true girlfriend in eight grade did he decide to lay off him. The boys began talking about Halloween plans but only briefly, Kyle wanted to know something else.
"So know what you're doing for your birthday yet?" he asked Stan.
Stan finished his sixth shoestring chicken. "Not yet."
"Dude, really? It's tomorrow. How do you not have any plans?"
Stan shrugged. "Couldn't think of any. Mom's making my cake and dinner but I dunno anything else. Guess it's going to be a low-key birthday this year; my dad's off studying volcanoes in Hawaii, I couldn't think of doing anything amazing… just will be my mom and me and anyone who wants to come over."
"Lame," Cartman rolled his eyes.
"I kinda want to plan for next year when I'll be turning eighteen; I want a huge celebration then. This year… I mean who really cares if you're turning seventeen? What's so special about that?"
Kyle shook his head. "Whatever dude. I'll be coming by with my gift whenever you want tomorrow then."
At that moment a familiar head of wavy golden hair came forward.
"Courtney!" Stan called. His girlfriend spotted him and biting her lip, came over.
"Yes Stan?"
"Dude, I haven't seen you all day babe." He went to kiss her but she didn't look too happy about it. She sighed and took hold of his hand.
"Look, Stan, we- we really need to talk after school okay?"
The black-haired-boy frowned. "What's up?"
She sighed. "We just need to talk. I'll meet you in front of the D corridor okay?"
Stan looked on helplessly as she walked off. He turned to his friends.
"What the hell did I do this time?"
Cartman sighed. "You should know this by now dude, every time a chick says 'we need to talk' she's about to crush your heart. How are you still too blind to see it?"
Stan still looked confused. "But we'd have no reason to break up. We've been getting along great."
Kyle raised a brow.
"Well, for the most part. I mean if she's still upset I broke off our date to help out that poor deer who was hit by a truck weeks ago she really has problems," he grumbled into his chips.
Kyle sighed as his finished off an orange. "Just don't say anything stupid whatever it is she wants to talk about. I'll wait up for you after school though to give you a ride home. Your tire's still busted huh?"
Stan sighed but nodded, mind racing at what on earth his girlfriend wanted to talk to him about. It was a Thursday which meant it was his Animal Club meeting after school but he knew he would have to miss it in order to talk to Courtney. He found her waiting by the science section of the school after school had ended. He walked up to her.
"Courtney, what's wrong?"
The girl had watery eyes and she flat-out said, "I don't think we should see each other anymore Stan."
Damn you Cartman!
"Wh-what?"
She sniffed. "You're a really nice guy but- but that's the thing- you're too nice."
"What?"
"We just don't go together Stan," she began to explain. "I want a boy with an edge. With well, balls."
"Are you fucking serious?" he screamed.
"Look at you- you spend all day helping animals. Baking cupcakes. You're a member of the Gay-Straight- Alliance Club for god's sake!"
"So?"
"You aren't as rough and rugged as I thought you were. I knew you were in baseball so I thought 'oh, he must be really fit and fearless.' But look at you! You're scrawny!"
Stan had to put his foot down now. "Look you bitch, I work out. I may not be some body-builder but I'm fit. I may eat crap but I still can throw a baseball and hit a fucking ball." He did hate how he was one of those young men out there who no matter how hard they worked, they never gained much muscle mass. He soon had to accept it was genetically okay since there were plenty of professional baseball players who were even skinnier than him but had an arm like a rocket. "And I have to bake cupcakes if I want to make my own money! They wanted me so I took the job!"
"But you told me your uncle would pay you to help rebuild his car."
"And I didn't do it because I don't really care about cars. They're just machines you drive in; animals are the ones with the souls."
Courtney rolled her eyes. "See, this is what I'm talking about Stan. It's not something I want to keep hearing, it makes you sound… you know…"
Many a time the people around Stan questioned whether or not he was gay, and he wasn't. He couldn't help the way he felt about certain issues or the hobbies and clubs he was a part of. And the last person he wanted to hear this from was a girl he was trying to date.
"Why couldn't you have told me any of this earlier?" Stan growled.
"That's the thing; I've been feeling like this for a while now. That's- that's why I thought it would be best to tell you it now. Before your birthday. That's why… I never got you anything. You- you kept asking but if I gave you a gift it wouldn't feel right if I already knew I wanted to end things between us. Does that make sense?" she bit her lip.
Stan couldn't believe what he was hearing; she felt like this for a month probably and that's why she wouldn't be celebrating his birthday with him? Because it would be a waste? The two fought for twenty more minutes before Stan knew there was no point to go any further, it was over. Courtney gave Stan one last kiss on the cheek before leaving. Five minutes later Kyle came over, swinging his keys on a finger.
"So, what's up dude?" he said heavily.
Stan stood there, a blank look on his face. "It's- it's over. She dumped me."
Kyle sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry dude. I am."
"The- the day before my birthday she dumps me. Oh my god," Stan strained.
"What was the reason?"
Stan shook his head as he ran a hand in his messy black hair. "She- she wants a guy who's tough. Who isn't as sensitive about stuff like I am. And she isn't looking for something serious but anyone who knows me knows the girl I'm with is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm only sixteen but I want a real-life relationship. I want a future wife and kids. But she never thinks that far ahead I guess…"
Kyle sighed and patted his back. "Dude, you'll find better. You'll find that perfect someone. C'mon, you're still young; don't rush into things like this. You always get your heart stepped on each time."
"But I thought she was the one!" Stan cried.
Kyle sighed; Stan always was and would be very emotionally attached to people, animals, and things no matter what. And he knew what he must be feeling at that moment. Kyle drove home with Stan in tow, a few other friends would be stopping by as well to try and cheer him up. Ten minutes later Stan sat around Kyle's dining room not eating his ice cream or interacting with his friends.
"Oh god she dumped me!" he moaned and pushed the bowl aside and hid his face in his arm.
"Courtney was a bitch anyway," Cartman stated on his second bowl of Neapolitan ice cream.
Stan looked up with watery eyes. "She was my world though!"
"Dude, she didn't like doing anything with you. She acted like she was being forced to go to your baseball practices and games. She hates video games and obviously doesn't care much about animals. I don't know why you even gave her a thought to be honest," Kyle stated.
"She was great. She was smart and different. She said she liked baseball a little…"
"She was controlling and just another preppy girl. You know she's a natural blonde right?" Cartman spoke.
Stan's eyes were wide.
"True, I heard her friend Helen talking in English. Said something like 'Courtney needs to buy more hair dye, her natural blonde might start showing anytime.'"
"What? Oh dude…" and Stan had his face on the table again. Stan was rather picky with girls, he never went for those with light hair, he just wasn't attracted to them like he was to those who were brunette. Courtney had actually been the girl with the lightest hair he dated, and now knowing she was actually blonde… made him sick.
Kyle dropped Stan off home an hour later. Stan walked into the empty house and dragged his body up to his room and flopped down. His two cats jumped up to greet him but he wasn't in the mood. He moaned again and placed his face in his pillow, waiting until his mother came home from work and immediately sense something was wrong. By seven the doors opened and Sharon came home, sighing as she dropped off her bag and placed her coat over a chair. She had went back to school when Stan was twelve to finish her nursing degree which she dropped once she had kids. She now worked as a labor and delivery nurse; nothing warmed her heart more than help bring new babies to the world. Since she didn't get home until after seven most days she would usually expect her son to get dinner started if he didn't have anything else going on, that way no one had to wait long to eat. But tonight there was no one in the kitchen and Sharon immediately went to see where her son was.
It didn't take long for Stan to fall to pieces in front of his mom and tell her what had happened. Sharon had him cry on her shoulder, her heart tinged with sadness too. She knew her son was looking for a permanent partner whom he could someday marry, even if he was very young still. He wanted to find his 'high school sweetheart' and have a family someday. But it was a lot to ask for from your typical teenage girl. Not many were willing to say they wanted a family with the next young man they met. Sharon and Randy would constantly tell their son he might scare girls away if one of the first things he mentioned to them was just this. He would argue 'I have to know what they think; otherwise I may just be wasting my time.' Stan was stubborn and his mind was set, if she didn't want to look for a boy who could someday be her husband, she shouldn't be with him.
Sharon gently took her son off her arm. "I'm so sorry sweetie. I know you want a long-term relationship. But Courtney wasn't it. You'll find her, don't worry, you're still a kid, give it time."
Stan wiped his nose; he wished he didn't fall to pieces like he was still eight but some things never changed. It made him feel unwanted and not good enough. And all the reasons Courtney broke up were reasons past girls blew it off as well; he was too sensitive and they weren't looking for a long-term relationship. His family and friends were right, he shouldn't rush it. But it was so hard when it was something so uncertain. How was he to know how long he'd have to wait to find the right one? The next girl could be her and he wasn't going to lose her if he could. He was simply pathetic when it came to relationships.
Stan wasn't up for much dinner so Sharon made some boxed macaroni which he nibbled at. He picked at his dessert of yesterday's banana bread too. He was just about to drag his body upstairs when his mother stopped him.
"Stanley… I don't want you going to bed the night before your birthday like that."
He looked down as his hand rested on the banister. "I've just been dumped Mom, how can I not feel like shit?"
Sharon frowned. "Try to do something you like before you go to sleep then. Something to cheer you up. I don't want to have to say good morning to you if you're looking like that."
The teenager just brushed this off and went to his room where he fell asleep to his phone that was playing his favorite depressing songs. He woke up by his mother who kissed his cheek.
"Happy seventeenth birthday honey!"
Stan sighed and rolled to his side.
"Come on Stan, get up. You still have school and I made you your special French toast breakfast. Come on…"
He decided to go down and saw that his mother had made him one of his favorite breakfasts, a French toast sandwich: banana slices and peanut butter slabbed on two slices drizzled in chocolate syrup and a light dusting of powdered sugar. It was such a wonderful and filling meal he couldn't help but sit down and eat, although very slowly. Sharon sat across him.
"Know what you're going to do today sweetie?"
"Nothing," he muttered.
"Stanley come on, I know you're still upset about what happened yesterday but this is your birthday. Be happy."
Stan just ignored her attempts at getting to him. When he was about to go upstairs and change she stopped him once more.
"I'm going to take an hour off work so I can come home earlier and make you dinner and your cake okay sweetie?"
"Whatever…"
School was torture that day; Stan had second period with Courtney and they sat across from each other in the second row. They had gotten in trouble by Mrs. Gibbs before for talking and passing notes during lessons, now however the tension between the two was almost as loud as their words used to be. Stan didn't dare look at her and tried focusing on taking notes but ended up writing down phrases that might make it into a new song for the band. By lunch Stan sat around with his old friends, knowing they'd probably lay off him more than his other friends would. His mother had taken the liberty to make him a lunch of his favorite things as both a birthday and 'feel better soon' thing. He picked at it, stomach feeling too sick to want food. Those forty minutes had friend after friend walk over and ask what he was doing later.
"I don't know yet, I don't want to do anything," Stan said for the tenth time to fellow baseball team member Brett.
"Well I got you something sweet so I'm coming over later," he said before retreating.
Stan sighed as he sat up. Normally he'd be excited at that prospect; Brett Powers was one of the richest kids in South Park. But he didn't want a parade of people over but he knew that was unlikely to happen since he did know a few different groups of friends. Kyle gripped his shoulder.
"Are you going to be okay today dude?"
"My head and heart and stomach feel like they've been trampled on. I feel like shit. I just want it to end." Stan covered his eyes.
Kyle was tempted to say 'stop being dramatic' but that was unlikely; Stan was a master of all emotion and for many it seemed as if he took things too hard, which he did. But Kyle knew by now there was little he could do to stop Stan from feeling like this. All he could do was make sure he wouldn't do something stupid to numb his pain. Kyle took him home after school. The Marsh house was the place many of Stan's friends ended up; his friends all knew his parents were at work and his sister had moved out thus he would be home alone until after six each day. There was no exception today, and since it was his birthday it didn't take long for the door to open and Cartman to step in with Butters.
"I really don't want to do anything today you guys," Stan moaned as he sat at the dining room table, chin resting on the surface.
"Yeah well tell that to Reed, he's on his way too," Cartman said as he sat a gift on the table.
Stan hid his face for a moment. "What the fuck… I don't want him or anyone else coming over. I'm in no mood to celebrate."
Cartman rolled his eyes. "Dude, she was a bitch. She was just like Wendy; she never let you do anything and took control of your life. You're better off without her. Suck it up man."
"You aren't helping asshole," Kyle glared.
Cartman ignored him. The two had denounced their so called 'friendship' before they began seventh grade and hardly spoke anymore and were only around each other if Stan, Kenny, or Butters was there. Over the hour a few knocks were heard as friends stopped by with birthday wishes and gifts. They didn't believe Kyle when he said Stan didn't want anyone over until they saw Stan themselves. Butters was a great help and prevented Stan's entire baseball team from coming over with a huge card and gifts among them. Not to say there were annoyed they had come over and gotten everything together for their starting pitcher since they all had their own lives and wouldn't be able to say happy birthday as a team any other day.
"I know fellas, I know. But he really doesn't want anyone over. He's pretty upset about breaking up with his girlfriend Courtney," Butters was telling Cole Hanson who was at the front of the groups of baseball teammates. Cole was a very good friend of Stan's and played first base on their baseball team.
At that moment Stan felt his cell vibrate and with dull eyes, saw that it was his dad. He didn't answer.
"Oh come on dude, he probably wants to wish you a 'happy birthday', just say 'hi'," Kyle urged.
Stan groaned. "Ughh… what Dad?"
"Hey there son! Happy big seventeenth birthday!" Randy said happily.
Stan said nothing back.
"Do anything special today? How did Mom make your French toast this morning?" he asked, amused.
Stan rubbed his eyes. "I-uh…" words did not want to come out today for anyone.
"Get anything good yet? You better not have had your first beer without me there!" Stan was pretty sure he was winking over the phone.
This Stan was able to answer. "You know I'm not touching that shit for a long time. Not after what happened when I was ten…"
"Oh come on, live a little kid. When I was fifteen my dad gave me"-
"I don't care Dad."
Randy seemed oblivious his son wasn't in the birthday mood. "So are you doing anything special today?"
Stan really didn't want to talk so he said, "Sorry, gotta go. Someone's at the door." And he hung up.
It was now close to six and Kyle, Cartman, and Butters were getting frustrated with their friend. He had a pile of presents already as well as a plate of cookies, a small cake, and a tin of brownies sent by various people he knew but he had not touched anything.
"Dude, if you just want us to hang around when your mom comes home, we can have dinner and cake here if that's all you want to do," Kyle suggested.
"I don't care about anything," Stan said, still sitting at the table. Suddenly his cell went off again and he answered. "Oh, hi Mom."
"Sweetie, I am so sorry but I won't be able to come home until very late tonight," Sharon was saying. There seemed to be a lot of commotion around her.
"What? Why?"
"Sweetie- there has been a major pile up on Highway 140 and there are a lot of injured people who will be coming in by ambulance and helicopter soon. There's a shortage of ER nurses so they're asking anyone who can help to stay at the hospital."
Stan frowned, looking down. "When- when will you be home?"
"I don't know Stanley, but it's not going to be anytime soon. I might be here long into the early morning, I'm so sorry baby."
Stan swallowed thickly. "O-okay."
"I'm so sorry baby, I won't be able to make your special birthday dinner or cake tonight." Sharon sounded ready to burst.
"No- it's fine Mom. You do what you gotta do. See ya." Stan stared at his phone, not knowing how to think now.
"What did she say dude?" Kyle asked carefully.
"There's been a major pileup accident on Highway 140. She's needed to help all the victims. She won't be coming home until who-knows-when."
Kyle sighed. Stan felt ready to cry, his eyes were stinging. But he always made sure to not do something so lame in front of his friends if he could help it. He was dumped yesterday, his dad was out in Hawaii, and now his mom would be busy at the hospital. He would have none of the stuffed pork chops she was planning to cook nor any of the birthday cake she was going to bake. He had nothing on his very own birthday. He couldn't believe it.
"Want u to take you out somewhere? I have forty on me," Kyle had his arms crossed.
Stan shook his head. "I just wanna be alone right now. You guys go home."
"Finally," Cartman rolled his eyes. "See ya man."
Kyle was weary. "You better not be thinking about cutting yourself or committing suicide if we leave dude." He had never done either but Kyle always felt the next time Stan was upset he would.
Stan reassured the redhead he wouldn't. With one final pat on the shoulder Stan was finally left alone. He didn't feel hungry and decided to retreat to his bedroom for the night, but not before making sure the house was as dark as could be and the doors were all locked. He did not want anyone sneaking in. He stared up into his ceiling as his two cats sat by providing some comfort. Stan's eyes shut and he drifted off by ten. He was awoken that Saturday by his mother looking down on him.
"Sweetie, I got some breakfast," she said gently.
Stan strained his eyes and looked at the clock, it was 9:30.
"It's kind of a late start but I had to get some sleep after coming home."
Stan turned to his side. "I don't wanna eat," he mumbled.
Sharon sighed. "Just come downstairs Stan. I don't want you to brood all day in your room."
"I'm fucking depressed Mom! I'll do what the fuck I want!"
Sharon frowned. "Downstairs Stanley, now."
He never could get away with actions from his mother, she never stood and allowed him to be too upset for too long and he found himself following her orders, however unwilling. Breakfast was scones and coffee from Starbucks. He drank from his cup and shuddered, man that tasted good. Mother sat opposite her son, looking as he ran a hand in his long black locks and rubbed his tired eyes. She didn't want to push and tell him to stop feeling upset about his ex-girlfriend but she had to make sure he ate. It was her job still to mother him as such, at least for another year.
"When did you get home?" Stan mumbled.
"Around two. Patients were stabilized by then so it was okay to go home."
Stan didn't look at her. "How- how was it…?"
Sharon rubbed her eyes. "Draining. I had been awake for close to twenty hours by the time I came home. I'm amazed I was able to drive and not get in an accident myself. Apparently one drunken man in a semi crashed and car after car crashed into each other. There were a total of nineteen victims."
Stan was still looking at his hands. "Anyone die?"
Sharon sighed. "There had been two confirmed deaths by the time I left. An elderly man and his granddaughter who was in the car with him. She was seven."
Stan swallowed a lump. "How horrible."
Neither talked for close to ten minutes. Stan sat and picked at his chocolate chip scone and drank deeply from his coffee. Sharon finally asked if he did anything yesterday. He said no.
"I know you're still hurting but I would have liked you to have celebrated your birthday Stan. Just because Courtney is no longer in your life and I had to stay at the hospital doesn't mean you couldn't have done something fun. Look at all the gifts and goodies your friends gave you-" she nodded to the pile still sitting on the table.
"I told them not to come yet they still came knocking," Stan grumbled.
Sharon smiled. "Well you can't expect them not to; it was your birthday silly."
Stan got to his feet. "I wanna go back up. Thanks for the coffee Mom."
Much like when Stan broke up with previous girlfriends, he spent all day in bed wallowing in his own pity. He however did try out a new song he had written and strummed his guitar before the emotions rose and he had to stop. He hardly talked to anyone and hardly ate. It was rather annoying to everyone who knew him for he was bringing all these feelings with him when he went back to school Monday. He didn't want to talk about anything with his friends and didn't feel up to band practice after school. It really did annoy Kyle, the person who he had known since he was three-and-a-half. He may have been used to Stan's depressive nature but that didn't mean he had to be okay with it. He was seventeen now yet still acted as if the world was drowning in a great tsunami whenever he was given bad news. His mother couldn't be around to make sure he was okay due to her busy schedule at Hell's Pass Hosptial so Kyle had to look out for Stan, like he had been since they were in preschool.
Cartman tried telling Stan what a waste of space Courtney was but he didn't get the results he was looking for. Stan would go on about how he wrote the song 'My Heart Beats' for her, her favorite scent was wildflowers, and how much she loved strawberries. It was almost sickening. But seven days after the break-up Stan was finally getting back to normal- at least trying to anyway. He was eating again and was able to work those five hours at Mountain Top Cupcakery without needing a break 'to think.'
"Try to remember why you didn't like her, stuff you won't miss," Kyle had tried. "Think about why it wouldn't work so you can move on."
While he still wanted to stay in his sad state Stan knew he had to do this if he had any chance of getting over the break-up quicker than before. He knew it wasn't a healthy thing to brood about it for a month.
"She… she was kinda controlling. But it was who she was, she was able to get things done, she had a strong will!" he spoke that Wednesday after work.
Kyle rolled his eyes. "Dude, a woman controlling you is not a good thing. No one wants that. Remember how she'd bitch if you had plans with the guys? How she hated video games?"
"Yeah, I guess. But"-
"She didn't even seem sorry that she spilled Coke on that one sweater of yours."
Stan was glaring now. "What the hell was she thinking? I swear I saw a smile on her face when I found out. Just because you don't like something of mine doesn't mean you have to fuck it up. That stain will never come out now."
"And the big one: she's not looking to settle," Kyle said gently.
Stan sighed as he ran a hand in his hair. "I wish I could just go around and date and not worry about that stuff but I can't. It seems pointless to date if it's not going to lead anywhere."
Kyle shook his head. "You are so gay sometimes dude. But hey, I know it's what you want so you shouldn't have to settle with someone who doesn't want it," he said as Stan glared at him.
"I guess Courtney and I weren't meant to last. She wasn't right for me. I just wish I could let it go and live life again."
Kyle patted his shoulder. "Just do it dude. Nothing's stopping you but you. Everyone's still asking about you and wants you to let it go. We still want to know what you think about our birthday gifts you haven't opened yet."
It was easier said than done but Stan had to let her go. It was just another crush kind of thing; there was no real connection between them. He had to move on. A part of him said he still should stay shut up in his room all day, it had only been a week, the other told him Kyle was right and it was time to not care anyone.
Friday night Sharon came home with some KFC for an easy dinner. Surprisingly Stan joined her.
"Still grieving about what happened?"
Stan shrugged a shoulder as he bit into a breast. "It still hurts yeah but I'm trying to tell myself not to think about it. I hate knowing she wasn't the one but, well, she wasn't."
Sharon studied her son for a moment. "I've noticed a lot of the treats your friends gave you for your birthday are gone."
"Well they have been sitting here for over a week, I didn't want them to go bad."
Sharon smiled. "Are you feeling better then?"
Stan sighed; his mom had trapped him in another conversation and it was too late to abort. "I guess. A little."
"Well that's good. I know it's never fun to have your heart broken but if they aren't the one, they aren't the one. You'll find her someday sweetie, don't worry."
All Stan could say was 'yeah'. He bit his lip as he thought of something. He finished a big bite of mashed potato before saying, "Mom, you know, I'd kinda like to celebrate my birthday. Even though it already past…"
"Oh?"
"I hate knowing I was being such a cynical ass on my own birthday. I kinda feel ready now to do something fun ya know?"
"What did you have in mind? I can try planning a party if you want but it might be a while. I've been so busy at the hospital lately…"
"I don't want a party, I just want to do something fun. Simple but fun. And I don't want a lot of people. I don't know if I even want my old friends… I don't know what I really want."
"Well think of something, don't leave me hanging, you know I love planning events," Sharon smiled.
Stan was shrugging again. "Something we can do tomorrow? I mean, I don't want a big fuss… maybe you and me can just do something? I'll pay."
Sharon was shocked at her son's words. "But honey, you're seventeen now. Why on earth would you want to? I'm beyond flattered but Stanley… do something with your friends. Don't worry about me; I'll be fine home sitting with a bowl of popcorn watching movies."
"C'mon Mom, I won't be embarrassed. Maybe when I was thirteen but I'm old enough now to appreciate you kinda. I want time away from everyone who keeps bugging me."
"But it's been so long since we've done something, just you and me."
"I know. But who knows where I'll be in a year from now. I may be living out-of-state or some shit. I kinda like that I have you and Dad to myself now that Shelley's moved out. Soon I will be too and well, yeah…" he was feeling really lame now but Sharon had tears in her eyes.
"If it's really what you want…"
"Maybe Kyle can come too?"
"Of course."
Stan played with his chicken bones. "And Mom? I'd kinda like the birthday cake you were going to make…"
Sharon nodded. "Are you sure?"
Stan grinned. "Yeah. Blueberry coffee cake."
Sharon had to ask; all Stan's life he hated blueberries and only last year did he steadily begin to enjoy the fruit. It was just odd to hear a special blueberry dessert request from him.
"Well, I say I need to do a tiny bit of planning for tomorrow."
That next day Stan called Kyle up and told him the plans for the day. Kyle was a little surprised Stan wanted to hang but was happy he called up with plans at all; it meant he was able to 'move on.' The plan was Sharon was going to take the boys out for dinner before they went to FunPlex and go go-carting and have a little arcade game fun before going back home to finally open presents and have cake. Kyle came by around five.
"You sure you want to be around me tonight?" Sharon had to ask her son one last time.
"Yes Mom, god," Stan rolled his eyes. "I'm not ready to do too much yet. Let's just have a good time tonight."
Sharon drove the three of them to Donnatelo's, an Italian restaurant that was Stan's favorite place to eat. They had the best Italian sodas there. Bellies full of authentic Italian food, they went off to the arcade to have fun.
"I am so going to beat your ass," Kyle said as he geared up at the go-karts.
"Yeah right, I'm better at driving than you butthole," Stan smirked.
"I think I've been doing this the longest so I think both of you better watch out," Sharon harassed.
"Oh please Mom, you're old and shit, you're so going down," Stan passed off.
Sharon raised a brow and they climbed into their cars and soon were off. They went around the large indoor track an exciting 14 laps before time was up and a winner was announced- it was Sharon.
"So not cool! So lame!" Stan complained.
"Yeah, where the hell did that come from?" Kyle was shocked.
"I told you boys to watch out for me. Now you have to forever live knowing your own mother beat you in go-karts Stanley," Sharon teased.
Sharon sat back with a drink while the two teenagers went to hang out in the arcade for a while. It was always a fun place to be that never got old; the classics were always there and they took out all the old and lame games with new, updated ones and the joy of trading in tickets for prizes never lost its appeal. Stan and Kyle played a variety of games for an hour before going and picking out prizes from the Prize Booth. Kyle came out with a new basketball and little stuffed monkey. Stan came out with a glowing alien lamp and a pocketful of candy.
"Did you two have fun?" Sharon asked as they walked out.
"Yeah. Man, I haven't gotten that lucky in a long time," Kyle spoke.
"Really. I love things like this that make me feel like a little kid again," Stan grinned. "Hey Mom, can I drive back home?"
"Oh, well, if you want."
Stan was more than willing; his car still had a bad tire and he had been in another depressive rut recently. It felt good to be in the driver's seat once again. Stan really did enjoy driving; he had spent countless hours playing driving video games and a few times in his life had to use a car to go somewhere, one of those times when he was eight and had to drive his dad to Baily when he thought he was suffering from the 'disease' alcoholism. To nobody's surprise Stan passed his driving test with flying colors. It was the written portion that he had troubles with and if he had missed just two more questions, he would have failed.
Back home Stan rested on opening his gifts before cake. There were plenty to get to; some he saved up because he knew certain friends would want to be there when he opened them. It was asking a lot for him as he had this weird thing in which he had to open all gifts at the same time. It was part of his OCD and hoarding, which even though was a lot better than it was a few years ago, still existed. Stan was highly curious by the big box Kyle had given him.
"Oh no way dude!" he cried out as he unwrapped a box containing a Batman-themed seat cover for his car.
"I had to get it dude," Kyle smiled.
"This is fucking sweet. Wow… my car's going to be so tripped out now."
From his mother he received a few nice gifts including cash, a new guitar stand for his acoustic guitar, a new pair of shoes and a couple shirts, and lastly a giant coffee table book all about the history of baseball.
"Wow, thank-you so much Mom. I wasn't expecting this."
"And I talked with your father. He told me he's gotten you a gift during his trip to Hawaii and he'll give it to you when he comes back Monday."
Shelley had even given him something. She was living her own life at the moment with a roommate in Middle Park but sent it ahead of time. She had given him a collective Batman mug. He was happy that she seemed to have acknowledged one of his collections- Batman things. With all the gifts Stan wanted to open out of the way Sharon decided it was time to take the cake out that she had baked earlier that day. She placed a wax seventeen candle into it and turned off the lights before she and Kyle began to sing 'happy birthday' to Stan. He knew it was silly, having a small celebration with just his mother and best friend but it was okay. The only person who was missing was his dad. His mother, father, and Kyle were his three favorite people in the world and if he couldn't feel happy enough with just two of the three of them, then a celebration with anyone else wouldn't feel right. Stan thought up his wish before blowing out the candle. Sharon snapped a few pictures before dishing out dessert.
Stan was passed along a plate with a slice of the blueberry coffee cake, rocky road ice cream (that had been sitting in the freezer since his actual birthday), and a glass of milk. Kyle decided to get a slice of cake too although skipped the ice cream since he wasn't a big fan of sweet things. The cake was every bit as delicious as the picture of the recipe Stan had found online.
Sharon couldn't help but look on as her son laughed with his best friend since he was three-and-a-half. He was just as tall as his dad, but that was pretty much the only physical resemblance. Stan had grown tired of his red and blue poof ball hat and his dark hair grew in a messy spiky mop just past his ears. His blue eyes were big and as expressive as they were seventeen years ago… he had a sweet smile that (finally) was full of straight teeth. His voice had deepened and he had a slight fuzz to his face even if he shaved as well as he could. She was used to all of this, he had hit puberty years ago but she couldn't help but look at him now, the teenager he was, and knowing in over a year he may be moved out and on his own…
"Mom, are you okay?" Stan noticed tears in her eyes.
"What? Oh sorry, don't mind me. Just silly mother thoughts."
Stan smiled. "Let's watch something. Let's put on Sweeney Todd," he said speaking of one of his favorite movies.
It had been a nice and simple night, just what Stan had wanted. Kyle ended up leaving for home just after midnight. Stan allowed his mother to hug and kiss him good-night before he went upstairs, knowing she was most likely in need of mothering him more than usual at that moment.
"Happy seventeenth birthday baby," Sharon rubbed his back.
"A week after but oh well. I'll try not to let another break-up interfere with life quite as much again. Thanks again Mom."
Sharon knew he was only seventeen now and she should stop thinking about him growing up and moving out. But it was difficult as she reflected on him and thinking of past birthdays. Turning three and happily enjoying his mommy smothering him with kisses. Turning eleven and face growing red that his mom even called him 'baby' in front of his friends. Now at seventeen he was back to liking being with her again. It happened with Shelley as well. Children were such an interesting beings. Sharon turned off the lights and went to her room, knowing she was going to be pouring over Stan's baby memories just to be comforted by the thought that her sweet boy was turning into such a remarkable young man, and no one was around to tell her she was crazy for doing so.
Isn't depressed Stan fun? Haha. I'm sure his birthday where the Japanese killed a bunch of whales and dolphins was pretty bad, and the events after his tenth sucked… let's hope the majority of Stan's birthdays are good.
LOL (lots of love): Rose, March 28, 2012
Revised: January 23, 2019