(The perpetual) DISCLAIMER: Shiznat is not mine same with the rest of the characters of mai hime and otome. They all belong to SUNRISE.

My first ShizNat fanfiction.

I am not into writing fiction due to the dull and factual maneuovering of my ardour for politics to instinctively write in essays, and other forms of nonfiction literature. In other words, I am asking for your understanding for my meager knowledge for fanfiction.

Feel free to criticize/suggest/comment and even curse my work for it is your right for doing so.

So here it is...

Prologue

Dear my Natsuki,

It has been years since then, and I have mistakenly thought that those years would remove this deadening sense of loss which I am sure is perpetual.

I am writing this down in my room after the wearisome chudo I performed to please some visitors, or rather business clients of mine here in my house in Kyoto.
The languor of keeping myself in this room enthused me to write a letter to you, pouring out as I do these feelings by which act I may relieve the many permanent wounds
I have inflicted to you and my being as well. And so I ponder: what has become of us?

I shouldn't ask because I know what happened to me, to both of us. I have been your friend, your confidante, and your shield, and all in such roles, I have loved you.
I have loved you, as a woman and with this love (and madness!), I tried to fill the void of what you have, hoping that you healed away, or hoping that angry hollowness will be gone,
that you would no longer be what you are. But things didn't turn out that way, instead I severed you, and for what I've done, I can no longer see and find redemption.

The sakura bloom then glory fade, my life is spent waking around the tedium of corporate life and Japanese custom, and my body is fatigued,
my mind is ever stale in that it functions too incoherently; there is no way out for me personally.

Ah, I have written too long in my liking and just like my other "letters" to you, you will not be able to read this.
It is a reminder to me, of my sins, the reaping I am enduring right now… of losing you…

All yours,

Shizuru


When she woke up, the sun was about to sink, Dusk have greeted its way in the land of the rising sun, Sakura blossom and tea. It was not the setting sun filtered by the trees, however, that stirred her. Something cool and wet touched her cheek, a stray dog was nuzzling her. She slowly move to sit and then pat the head of her favourite animal species next to wolves, then she was brought into her senses, Shizuru and their flight, the jarring rattle of gunfire, the katana blow on her head. She stood up after the haste feeling and remembrance then bid farewell for her short time friend.

She touched her head particularly on the temple; it had throbbed with such pain and have undefined blob, she wiped it with her hand—it was warm and soft, like blood. Yes, it was blood, clotted blood to be exact; She felt the throb again, traced the line of soot and was gladdened ---no deep wound there, a mere scuff of skin perhaps.

She looked around for any clue to satisfy the little recollection of what have happened but all her eyes can see is a field of wild grass and nothing more, it is fruitless. She started to walk, below was an unfurled valley. Crickets and fireflies humming their way for the darkness that is starting to envelop them, rot of leaves ubiquitously complimenting the thick air of green living things, of grasses and trees. Due to the calming surroundings, she harks back to the promise that she would give up everything, do anything for Shizuru, now and only for Shizuru. If she were not displaced into the ignominy she had pushed her. The rush of feeling of needed to fulfill what she took oath for her love strove her to trek faster down.

Shizuru! That nymph, the sweet benediction given to her and she ashamedly abused. Now, she could still think, still fructify the vision and fervid thought fresh and burbling in her. I have to find her! Save her, bring her back into my arms. Show her the true feelings, the love I held in selfish reserve from her due to my foolish indecision! Wait for me my Shizuru, I will come after you and show you that you really are and the only most precious person that I have and forever will…

NOTE:

chudo- the art or way of tea making.(I just don't know its difference with chanoyu. maybe one of the many words in Nihonggo to speak/ write/ interpret tea making.)

Obviously, as written above, it is a prologue (well, to be honest I am uncertain if such thing can be consider as prologue).

I do not know what to write next so I need some pofessional or sempai- like opinion for this matter.

Thank you for reading this one.