The ZPD had a reputation for being the best, most disciplined, most highly trained police force in the world. And it was, but no one could ever guess that by walking into the briefing room before Chief Bogo enters.
Howling, improvised rap battles between officers, paw-wrestling competitions, more than half of the officers present with their phones out on ZooTube or Furbook.
If it weren't for their uniforms, one would have confused this room with a rowdy classroom.
Judy and Nick swore they even once saw a paper airplane flying (seriously, could this get any more immature?) just as Chief Bogo entered the room. They heard one of the officers gasping in fright as the airplane glided just over the Chief's horns, which he mercifully didn't notice.
Unfortunately, the airplane was left lodged between the water buffalo's horns. He still didn't notice and he walked over to the stand with the plane on the top of his head, threatening to fall off and be noticed at any moment.
McHorn was sweating profusely and biting his hoof toes and he seemed to be muttering a prayer.
Nick and Judy exchanged glances. McHorn was the last animal they'd have expected to be the thrower of the immature prank. The other officers were snickering and trying their best to not burst out laughing as they watched the paper airplane balancing dangerously on top of the Chief's sharp horns while McHorn looked ready to pass out.
However, as the chief handed out the daily case files to the officers, one of the newer (and taller, thankfully) ones, a young moose, snatched the piece of paper as he took his file and quickly crumpled it into his pocket, somehow without the Chief noticing.
"That moose has fingers faster than mine, Carrots!" whispered Nick in astonishment. McHorn let out a sigh of relief that nearly knocked Judy and Nick off their seat, as they were sitting exactly in front of him.
The grateful McHorn had bought the rookie moose beer for the next two weeks, his tough-guy attitude stained forever, but at least he wasn't stuck being a meter maid for the next month.
However, for the last few weeks, the bullpen had been somewhat quieter, thanks to the officers engaging in a far more quiet activity. Said activity was betting on Officers Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde's relationship.
They had all sworn to not tell anyone that they were dating when they caught them smooching in the briefing room just as they entered. They knew a pred-prey relationship within the ZPD would be an absolute media fiasco, the Mammal Inclusion Initiative goons and new mayor would have taken every opportunity to capitalize on it and Chief Bogo would have most likely assigned them with new partners, maybe even requested a transfer for one of them to another precinct.
But just because they were silent about it didn't mean that they weren't going to bet on them, everything from whether or not Nick would buy Judy coffee and bagels that day or vice versa to how long it would take them to get married.
They all went silent and covered the betting pool with a few police hats as the fox and the bunny entered, pretending instead to be chatting. Judy rolled her eyes and looked up at Nick.
"They really think we're not catching on, are they?" she asked dryly. Nick chuckled and kissed the top of her ears.
"Relax, Fluff. It's all in good fun. Besides, they've kept their promise of not spilling anything, so…" he paused for effect as he smiled his signature grin.
"Let's play their game." He said. Judy smirked and nodded.
"Hey, Judy, thanks a lot for the blueberry bagel you got me today! I almost thought you'd get it with carrots, like you did last time!" he said loudly on purpose. DelGato the tiger cursed under his breath while Wolford pumped a fist in the air while mouthing
"Yes! Give me the five!" at the tiger.
"I wish I could have gotten you something from Snarlbucks, but I forgot my wallet." He said. Judy rolled her eyes.
"Really? You've kept the same lame excuse ever since we first met!" she said dryly.
"Hey, come on, Carrots, you know that I'm an honest fox and that I'd never… hey, what are you doing!?" he suddenly asked as Wolford marched over to them, shoved his paw in Nick's pocket and yanked out a wallet, smiling a (quite literally) wolfish grin.
"Hey, give it back!" shouted Nick as the taller wolf held his wallet just out of his reach.
"Hey, lookie here, Officer Hopps, foxy here has 300 bucks in cash and a credit card. Sorry, Wilde, you just lost your 'sly' card." Said Wolford smugly. Judy sighed and started thumping her foot at Nick.
"Come on, Carrots, last time you drank coffee you were so hyperactive you actually made Chief Bogo stumble back a few feet when you slammed into him to get the case file! I'm still trying to wrap my head around how you managed it!" Nick pleaded. Judy sighed and facepawed.
"You're not gonna be satisfied until I leave your tail for a wolf, aren't you?" she asked dryly.
"You hear that, Wilde? Hey, Judy, my girlfriend and I broke up a week ago, so…" Wolford said smirking, looking more like Nick when he was joking with Judy or anyone else.
"Hey, wolfy, paws off my mate!" said Nick, getting inbetween him and Judy, even though he knew it was all in good fun.
"I know you were kidding, but that was… a bit overboard." Said Nick, barely containing his offense at someone having the audacity to even joke about taking his precious Carrots away…
"You wanna talk about overboard jokes, Wilde? Last week when we asked Judy how were things between her and you, I asked 'he hasn't eaten you yet, has he?' to which you replied in her place 'yes I have, just last night! You were right, Carrots! A bunny can go savage! Man, I'm still sore!' And then Judy had to roundhouse kick you in the neck to prevent you from detailing your… activities from the night before." Said Wolford, causing the entire briefing room to burst out in howls and roars of laughter, Nick to laugh alongside them, and Judy's ears and cheeks turn bright red, visible ever through her fur. She looked ready to jump with her legs in Nick's neck again.
"Hey, foxy, you just gonna let that puppy crack jokes about snatchin' your girlfriend?" rasped McHorn.
"Hey, come on, McHorn, it's not like he-" Nick couldn't say another word before the rhino dragged a desk to the middle of the room, placed a chair on either side of the desk and then stacked some books on said chairs as if to help some shorter animals reach the desk easily.
"Hey, what are you doing?" asked Nick as a slow horror ascended in his throat. He did not like where this was going. McHorn pulled out a ten dollar bill and slapped it on the table.
"10 bucks on you, Firefox. Don't disappoint. Take your seats, puppies!" gruffed out McHorn as he smirked. Nick's jaw dropped.
"Wait, you want us to… paw-wrestle?" asked Nick.
"Hey, I've got nothing against it! Come on, slick-Nick!" said Wolford making some warm-up movements with his right shoulder.
"-Hey, we're not even the same species! He's a wolf and I'm a fox for crying out loud! I mean-
-Nick…" Judy's soft voice interrupted him. She was looking up at him almost dreamily with half-lidded amethyst eyes. She slowly reached for Nick's tie and pulled him down.
Nick was usually the bigger seducer, but she always managed to make him go numb with this simple movement. Once Nick's face was level with hers, she pressed her nose to his. All the officers present swore they saw the fur around Nick's cheeks turn even redder. "Show him…" she said simply, pecking his nose with a quick kiss. Though her voice was a whisper, she made sure that she said it loudly enough that it could have been heard by all the officers present.
After Nick was finally out of the daze created by his bunny's sly seduction (which did take him a full thirty seconds) he smirked devilishly, looking over at the table where the timber wolf was already seated. So what if he was a wolf? He had taken down frickin tigers in sparring training. Granted, he didn't do so using brute force, but still, there was a lot more to paw-wrestling than sheer brute strength… Nick climbed up the chair, sitting down on the tower of books.
"Right, gentlemales. I expect a good, clean struggle. No lifting your elbow, no-" began McHorn.
"Listen, Horny George, we weren't born yesterday! We know the rules." Interjected Nick.
"Heh heh. Horny George…" Nick heard Del Gato the tiger chuckle. Nick analysed the wolf in front of him. Judging by his smirk, he was overconfident that he would win, he would try to put the fox down with one big, quick tug. It would be his downfall.
Both canines unbuttoned their sleeves and rolled them back all the way up to their shoulders. Nick clasped his paw on Wolford's slightly larger one. Wolford had the reach and strength advantage, there was no doubt about that, he needed a plan of attack.
Step one: Nick grabbed more of Wolford's paw, so that he could actually twist it to his advantage and hold his own paw as stiff as possible.
"Ten bucks on Wolford, no offense, Nick." Said Fangmeyer, putting the money in the betting pool.
"Hold up. I trained alongside Nick, and I'll tell you, he's no pushover. Fifteen on Nick." Said Bernard, a young polar bear, fresh out of the academy. After half a minute, all the officers present placed a bet on either of the two contestants. Wolford's betting pool was slightly larger, but not by much. The only one who didn't bet was Judy, her only bet being her promise to the fox that if he wins...
"I'll go to my apartment after our shift to… pick up some overnight things… your bed is so much comfier…" she said winking, which made Nick blush slightly and the other officers laugh.
"Hear that, foxy? Better win, or you're not getting any tonight!" gruffed out McHorn laughing. Nick took in a deep breath and locked eyes with his opponent. He gripped his paw a bit more secure and set his elbow firmer on the table.
"Worried, tiny?" asked Wolford. "You wish." Responded Nick with a grin that completely dwarfed that of Wolford.
"Alright, here we go! One, two, three, GO!" yelled the entire bullpen. Wolford instantly went on the offensive and tried to push Nick down. Nick merely held as tightly as he could, waiting for the wolf to tire himself out. Muscles stood out on both Nick's thin sinewy forearm and Wolford's slightly thicker and longer one.
Wolford managed to bring Nick down a full forty five degrees and judging by his gritted fangs, he was trying to finish him off, but Nick held tightly: he was about to strike… Confused that the fox wasn't finished by his powerful push, Wolford looked up. Nick was smiling as relaxed as if he were licking a pawpsicle.
Wolford's face said it all. "Oh, shit…"
Nick calculated exactly when Wolford's stamina was spent. He pushed his paw as hard as he could. Nick was able to push him an outstanding 120 degrees, nearly putting Wolford's paw on the table. The room went wild.
"Come on you sly fox, finish him!" yelled Judy like a schoolgirl.
"Come on, Wolford, pick it up! I'm filming this, and if you lose, all of Furbook will know you got your ass handed by a fox!" yelled DelGato, holding his smartphone above the crowd, lens focused on the table. Wolford's eyes went wide at the thought of internet-wide humiliation and pushed Nick back just past his border.
"Cheese and crackers. May have used too much energy in the first run." Thought Nick as the wolf pushed him back, now Wolford having the upper paw. Literally.
First thing he had to do was even out the odds and at least bring their paws back to the middle. Nick pushed back so slowly that a sloth could have outpaced him, but he was back at a 90 degree angle. Nick thought to capitalize on this and kept pushing, angling his body to go with his tug.
If wolves or foxes could sweat, the table would have been a puddle. Nick decided to give all he had.
He pushed as hard as he could, pushing Wolford down halfway to the table. However, after this he found the wolf's paw to be completely stiff. He had just made a fundamental mistake: putting all his energy in one tug, something he hoped he could capitalize on.
Wolford managed to push Nick back almost effortlessly, the fox's paw now a mere three inches above the table.
The muscles on his bicep and forearm felt like jelly and stung horribly, begging him to stop.
"Goddammit" was all Nick had time to think before his paw hit the table. The room went wild, even the ones who bet on Nick cheering for both contestants. Nick fell back in his seat, even though he had lost, he felt relieved that it was over.
For God's sake, he couldn't feel his paw!
However, one glance at Wolford and he saw the wolf reclining in his seat, panting heavily, right paw completely limp. He was just as bad as him...
"Great effort, Nick!" said one of the officers.
"Never seen a paw-wrestle last that long!" said one of the others.
"For the record, how long was it?" asked Nick panting. "Five minutes and twenty seconds." Said Bernard the polar bear. Nick's jaw dropped. He had been like that for more than five minutes?
"Good arm… for a fox!" laughed Wolford extending his paw. Nick shook it and was relieved to find that the wolf's squeeze was almost non-existent. They were both that spent.
"You were great, Nick!" came a voice from below. Nick suddenly found himself pulled off the chair into Judy's loving embrace. Nick let himself pant and rest his arm on Judy's shoulder. He couldn't even hug her properly, only his left paw around her slender waist.
"I'm proud of you." She murmured into his fur. Nick's ears perked up.
"So… does that mean you're still coming at my place tonight?" he said, finally finding the energy to grin.
"Hmm… we'll see." She said, pulling him closer by tugging his tie. Even though Nick couldn't even feel his right paw, he felt energy return to him by this simple movement.
"Just kiss already!" said a few animals. Judy looked over at them with a smirk.
"Let's not disappoint, shall we?" said Nick huskily, his voice almost a growl. He pressed his muzzle to hers, relishing in the kiss. He could taste the carrot pie she had for breakfast, she, the blueberry bagel she had bought for him.
Not even the whistles and cheers from their comrades were heard. All they heard was each other's moaning and rapid heartbeats.
They weren't worried that all their fellow officers were witnesses, they had already proved that they were capable of keeping the secret. Even the other cops were looking lovingly at them. Del Gato nudged Wolford.
"So you bet that they'd get married in two years?" asked the tiger. Wolford grinned. "I'm changing it to two months." He answered chuckling, still looking at fox and the bunny. Nothing could have interrupted any of them.
Except for…
"HOPPS! WILDE!" All of the officers turned around frightened at the booming voice of Chief Bogo. But none were as frightened as the fox and the bunny, Nick being so pale that if it weren't for his fur, he'd have looked like an arctic fox.
Judy could have sworn she saw steam coming out of the water buffalo's nostrils. She may have passed the academy psych test with 100%, and she may have been through some of the most dangerous situations ZPD had ever seen, but she felt as if the bull's gaze was about to make her pass out.
"Hopps… Wilde…" repeated Chief Bogo with barely contained anger.
"You…" he began.
"Yes, Chief, we know. Parking duty for a week." Mumbled Nick, tail between his legs. To their surprise, Bogo grinned.
Uh-oh, this couldn't be good…
"Parking duty!? You wish…" he said smirking. Bogo walked over to the intecom that was attached to the wall. It was connected to different loudspeakers across the entire precinct…
A young arctic wolf cursed under his breath as he completed another stack of paperwork and testimonies.
This deskwork crap was getting him out of shape, he should be out on the streets, not roleplaying as the sloths from the DMV! Suddenly, a beep was heard, announcing that the Chief was about to say something to the precinct.
"Great, more reminders to not get coffee unless we're on our break." He said grumpily to the lion that sat next to him.
"Attention all officers. As of today, I am updating the rules of Precinct One. Rule no. 132. No kissing at any time between officers." The wolf and the lion cop looked flabbergasted at each other.
"What the hell's that about?" he asked his feline friend. The wolf checked his phone.
"Nope, it's not the first of April. It's not like Bogo to make April fool's jokes anyway." He thought. However, the announcement continued, and although Bogo tried to remain professional, all the officers in the office area where they did their paperwork duty could hear a hint of satisfaction in the bull's speech.
"You may thank Officers Hopps and Wilde for the… introduction of this new rule." Finished Bogo with glee. All the cops in the office area froze, looking at each other.
"The rumours were true…" whispered the artic wolf. After that, the entire precinct exploded in howls and roars of laughter that could be heard from miles away, especially by a particularly embarrassed fox and bunny...
Author's note: Alright guys, this will be my very first collection of drabbles/oneshots.
I will probably post on here whenever I have Writer's Block on any of my bigger projects (please read my first Zootopia fanfic, "Savagery"), but I also have have plenty of ideas for this, so stay tuned!
I may post a poll on my account about what you'd like to see next.
Until next time! :D