The Treehouse
[1]
Two years before Lee Kanker put down Eddy's brother like a bad habit, and five before Ed and May were trapped in a video game with no way to get out, Edd was walking by himself in a bad storm.
"Oh dear." Edd said, and struggled to keep his umbrella up. It was spring, Edd's favorite season. The same couldn't be said for the weather itself.
Above him, the night sky was jet black, and the rain showed no signs of stopping. It didn't matter. He wouldn't go back to that awful house again. Not with mother and father there.
So he followed the sidewalk, pausing when he reached Eddy's house, and pausing again when he reached Ed's.
For the latter, he didn't feel like dealing with Ed's family either. Sarah, when she was in a good mood, was more than tolerable. When she wasn't, Edd wanted to use vulgar language at her. And Ed...Double D loved his tall best friend just like a brother, and he wouldn't have to worry about smell now that Ed was taking baths regularly. But Ed's room was still unkempt and that sort of thing still drove Edd up the wall.
For the former, Edd and Eddy had a bad fight last time they'd been together, about nothing of any real importance. Eddy wanted his help doing some stupid prank before senior graduation.
He had tried going into details:
"So check this out sockhead," Eddy said amiably. "What we need is a mobile radio, a vat of pancake syrup, and some of Rolf's stupid livestock. Most of them actually. Can you handle that Lumpy?" he added, looking over at Ed.
Ed was absorbed in a comic book, completely ignoring everything around him. As Edd watched, a paper airplane pinged him in the ear. He didn't even scratch it. From the table beside them, Kevin laughed stupidly. Edd spared the table a glance, of course, because Nazz was there.
In tight short-shorts that no teacher had spoken to her about. And a lime-green tank top. The color was ugly but on Nazz it looked good. On Nazz, just about everything looked good.
Eddy paid no attention to what happened. "So anyway, we're gonna need the radio in your room. You still have it? Does it still work?"
The answer to both questions was yes but Edd didn't answer. Because Edd had zero interest in it. Edd—pardon the language—didn't give a fucking shit about his friend's dumbass prank.
A lot of times he went along with it quietly. Other times he protested weakly but then buckled. He put down the thick Stephen King novel he was reading and sighed.
"Eddy no offense, but your idea sounds retarded."
Eddy looked shocked. "The hell are you talking about? It'll be a great prank! You haven't even heard what the punchline is."
Edd didn't care about the punchline. "Eddy. We are almost out. Two more months. That's all we need. Do you get that?"
But looking at his face, Edd could tell instantly that he did not. It—pardon the language—pissed him off. After what happened with his brother at the amusement park, Eddy was so much better. He didn't scam the kids, he gave them actual real products. Fruity ice-pops during the summer—Jimmy helped him with that—and cool looking Halloween masks during the fall. He hosted snowball tournaments in the cul-de-sac during the winter, and laser tag ones during the spring.
He sold boot-leg porn on DVD. He could cook up a storm, especially when it came to breakfast: omelets, muffins, pancakes, Belgian waffles with rich syrup.
He had the intelligence or common sense or whatever to never sell drugs, not even pot. He loved those crime and noir movies during the early 20th century, but he thought if he became a drug dealer—even a big one with connections—that he would wind up dead or in prison.
He was something he deep down never thought he could be, no matter what was done or what was said. He was popular. Not as popular in school as his brother Edmond was, but the cul-de-sac gang liked him. Even Sarah.
He was smart in many ways—even brilliant—and yet here they were, arguing over a prank that might get him suspended. If someone got seriously hurt, he could be expelled. He wouldn't graduate.
The argument was relatively light, and then became serious. Eddy questioned his loyalty—Edd's loyalty...when he went along with most everything he did. Even the stuff he didn't agree with. Edd responded by questioning Eddy's intelligence. A low blow, a cheap shot, but Edd was getting pissed.
At the end of it, the both of them were standing up, their hands clenched into fists on the table. People were turning to look. Ed looked up from his magazine with confusion and growing concern.
Eddy pushed Edd.
Edd went backwards, his legs cracking on the support bar underneath the table, his tailbone smacking against the bench. Then he tumbled all the way out and his back hit the floor. He bit his lip badly.
Kevin said: "Holy shit."
Edd slowly got up. The cafeteria was silent now. Tears stung his eyes. He wouldn't cry. He wasn't a baby. He wasn't a sissy-boy.
His eyes wanted to look at everyone, but he wouldn't allow that either. Some of them would be hurt, angry. Most others would probably be amused. A scene from Boy Meets World played out in front of his eyes almost vividly. Cory and Shawn fighting over something stupid, attacking each other in the hallway. The English teacher breaks up the fight and he's confused: "Matthews? Hunter? Did you guys know you were fighting each other?"
Edd would see that amusement in their schoolmates and that would make him cry. That would make him scream.
He looked at Eddy instead. Eddy looked like a deer caught in headlights. He wiped a sweaty hand over his head. "Double-Dee? Edd...I..."
"Shut up Eddy." Edd backed away from the table.
He came around the table. "I didn't mean...we don't...I didn't mean..."
"Just shut the fuck up."
Eddy shut up. He was even closer to crying than his friend was.
"Yes you did mean it." Edd's voice was low and deadly. "I'm done with you."
He walked out, feeling the stares of his friend. Someone was giggling, sounded like one of the Kanker sisters. Maybe Marie. Probably Marie.
[2]
Edd sighed just thinking about it. Why was he thinking about it? Just pissing himself off, and with no return.
The downpour was harsh, nailing him to the sidewalk.
He tried to let his mind drift, but it drifted to the terrible argument with his parents. He hadn't been the subject, they'd been arguing amongst themselves.
They tried to hide it from him, but instinct still existed in humans. They'd been so quiet. They were usually reserved, but they did talk. Short questions; short replies.
When he got home, there wasn't even that. There was absolute silence. So complete he fancied his footfalls were deadened and his breaths became short, as if the silence wanted to constrict him.
He asked mother if everything was alright. Before she could even answer, Edd's father had started in. She was hiding things from him. She responded in kind.
Edd could make no sense of it. The word cheating was thrown into the discussion. Thrown in by both of them. At that point, Edd excused himself to his bedroom. Once there, he let all the tears from the day come out. They came rushing out.
But there was no reprieve. The walls and door, they weren't soundproof. He heard every word, every thrown object. At some point, his mother started to cry.
He went to the window and opened it, saw it was raining, and fetched the blue raincoat from the closet. He paused when looking at his camping backpack, then got that as well. It had mostly snacks—junk food. It also had a portable stove and some Dinty Moore meals. Chicken and dumplings. Meatball stew.
Leaving was easy. His bedroom was on the first floor. His parents wouldn't notice. Not until the following day.
Now here he was, in a fairly awful storm, with nobody to turn to.
At last he decided on staying at Ed's house. Yet he kept moving forward, off the sidewalk, and into the woods. It was dangerous, of course. A sexual predator probably wouldn't be in the woods, far away from targets, but it could happen. As could one of the more natural type: a bear or a wolf. They stayed away from populations, of course, but there were always outsiders. Like him.
There was a noise above him. He jumped, backing away. He couldn't see what it was, because of the damn umbrella. Probably a bat or bird or something.
Or maybe it's Kurt Barlow, looking at you with red eyes. Maybe he's licking his lips, exposing long fangs with hollowed-out tips. "Come closer. Don't worry. It's as you think. It's probably just a bat. It's probably just a bird. Just come a few steps closer and..."
Panicking, Edd threw the umbrella aside and looked up. In front of him was a large tree with a thick trunk, and at the top of it a wooden wall with a window. Edd had actually put the window in himself.
He laughed shakily. It was just the treehouse they built when they were kids. They hadn't been here in...well years. Whenever they hung out now, it was at Ed or Eddy's house, with TV and video games and a working fridge.
Something was off, and the shaky laughter faded away. It was the window. It was lit. Someone had lit one of the candles inside. Somebody was home.
Edd felt a bit of that typical fear returning. Not of vampires slowly overtaking small town America but of strangers. It could be anyone up there, someone dangerous. Or it could one of the cul-de-sackers. Johnny Twobyfour loved the woods, he hung out in the treehouse a lot.
"Hello?" he called out. Not loudly.
No answer.
"Hello?! I know you're up there! Is that you Johnny?!"
Nothing.
He felt more afraid. The smart thing to do would be to go on back home, but Edd found himself climbing up the wooden rungs stapled to the trunk. It had a rope ladder, but then the Kanker sisters stole it when they were kids, and drew the ladder up. So after the Eds got it back—after a bitter war of water balloons and one of Eddy's stink bombs—Edd installed a more conventional ladder.
And then the Kankers stole it again and then the Eds took it back again and wasn't it wonderful how Mother Earth kept on turning?
When he finally reached the doorway to the treehouse. Squinting in the dark. It was pitch black. He could make out shapes. The table, the closet in the corner. There was tons of trash on the ground he couldn't make out.
He stood up on the floor. Something was off. He couldn't place it.
As smart as everyone said he was, it took him a long moment. The thing that changed was so obvious, he just couldn't pick it up.
Come on Eddward. From the outside, you could see the window with the light on so what's—
His breath stopped. That was it.
It was dark in the treehouse now. Pitch black. But not even a minute ago, as he looked from the outside, he saw the window was lit.
He was terrified now.
"Come on Johnny, the prank has gone far enough."
Except Johnny was the whoopy-cushion under the seat kind of person.
A sound behind him. He jerked in that direction.
Some of the trash started rising. It wasn't trash. It was a human body. Its face lit up with sickly green light, and he saw eyes where eyes had no right to be. Its mouth was a ruined slash filled with blackened teeth.
It came charging at him. He shrieked, put his hands up, trying to think of whether or not there was something around he could use as a weapon.
The thing fell to the floor. Its fist pounded the flat wood surface, making it groan in protest.
"Oh my fucking God!" the thing said. It was laughing. No, the voice was feminine. She was laughing.
The girl rolled around on the ground, clutching her belly. "Oh I can't fucking BELIEVE that worked."
Edd didn't answer. His puckered lips opened and closed. His hands were still crossed protectively over his chest. "I...you..."
The masked girl got up and went to the candle on the table. Lit it with a simple turn of the switch. The lighting was meager but more than enough. It was the same stupid mask Sarah had worn last Halloween. Edd vaguely remembered someone saying something about Sarah losing it the day after. Had that been Sarah herself, or Ed? It didn't matter.
What mattered was that the girl took the mask off. At first she made a faux-sinister gesture with her wiggling fingers, saying "Ooooh" and then snorting laughter again. But she took the mask off.
It was Marie Kanker. Of course. Honestly, who else would it possibly be at the very end of a truly horrendous day?
[3]
She flashed him a huge, malicious smirk. Edd felt a touch of...what? Could it be nostalgia?
"My God that was so fucking funny." She put her hands to her face and pretended to be scared. "Oh no! Watch out for the swamp-thing everybody!"
She snorted more laughter. Her hair was no longer completely dyed blue. It was her natural black with blue highlights. It looked better honestly. She had a nose piercing and quite a few silver ear piercings. She wore a short black dress with DEATH NOTE written on it in, and black boots. She painted her nails different colors, but tonight they were blue, like her highlights.
"Hello Marie." Edd said flatly.
"Hiya loser." She said cheerfully. She'd been this way for the past couple years. No longer someone constantly toeing at the line between stalking and sexual harassment, but happily engaging in utter contempt. Drawing dicks on his notebooks. Flipping him off whenever their eyes met. Throwing water balloons at him during the summer. Drawing yet another dick on his yearbook after stealing it from him. Edd didn't know which was worse: her old attitude or this new one.
"As pleasant as always." Edd said. The previous day, she'd walked past him in the school hallway and shoved into him. Eddy had been there at the same, asked her, "What the hell is your problem?" She'd ignored him and kept walking.
"'I'm a fucking angel." Marie Kanker said now.
So was Satan, Edd thought, but said, "I could've fallen down the hole in the floor."
"But you didn't...unfortunately."
"What are you doing here?" Edd asked. "Were you trying to get away from your family too?"
"That's none of your business." Marie said rudely. Then her face softened. "But yes, I am."
"May I ask what happened?"
Her face hardened again. "No, you may not." She said mockingly.
"Whatever it was," Edd said, "I'm sorry that it happened."
Marie's frown swelled into a grimace, and she shoved him. Not hard enough to knock him over. Instead he stumbled a few steps. She was still stronger than him, most people still were, but he was no featherweight anymore.
"Fuck you! I don't need your piece of shit apology!"
"Obviously you did." he said softly.
With a high-pitched squawk, she swung at him.
He sidestepped liquidly, and she went past him, off balance.
"Stop Marie." he said.
She swung at him again, with even worse balance than before. He ducked as she came forward and went right over him. He heard the awful meaty thud of her body against the wooden floor. It made him sick to his stomach.
He kept on his feet, and backed away.
She stood up and went in again, screaming "You fucking asshole!" She was crying, her mascara running in crooked black tendrils.
"Stop Marie!" he shouted.
She swung wildly, going past him again. This time—not wanting to—he stuck a foot out. She went straight to the floor, limbs spread out.
Marie didn't get up this time. She put her hands on her hand and sobbed.
Edd thought: Please let that be it, please let that be it.
He was a pacifist. That's why he didn't study the more violent and aggressive forms of martial arts, like Krav Maga. He'd been learning aikido since Eddy's brother at the amusement park. But he was a technical pacifist and not an absolute one. You weren't supposed to stand by as others got hurt. Except that's exactly what he'd been doing his entire life.
He went over to the closet and got a roll of toilet paper. It was for the outhouse below the treehouse, but he put it on the floor next to Marie.
Then he sat down and waited.
At last Marie said, "My m-m-mother..."
"Did something happen to her?" he asked.
She shook her head violently. She hadn't moved from her lying position. She didn't touch the toilet paper.
"Her s-s-s-stupid buh-boyfriend. Her fuh-fuh-fuh-fuck-toy. He g-got into an argument wuh-with May. About s-s-something. I duh-don't know w-what."
Now she did start to rise up. Edd tensed, but then relaxed when Marie looked at the toilet paper and ripped off a long piece.
She sniffed heavily. But when she continued, there were no hiccups or stutters.
"I yelled at him. He knocked me to the ground. I ran to the closet where mom keeps her gun."
Edd cringed and said nothing.
"I pointed it at him, told him I'd blow his worthless cracker head off if he ever touched any of my family again. Then mom came in and we told her what happened. She took her idiot boyfriend's side. I had to get out of there."
She wiped her face. Edd waited for her to say something else, then realized she was finished.
"I think you did the right thing, protecting your sister."
Marie just shook her head.
The silence between them was thick and awful. It was preferable to her attacking him.
[4]
At last Edd said: "Are you hungry?"
"Kinda sorta." She rubbed her arms.
He took off his backpack, placed it on the floor. He told her what he had.
"Junk food sounds good right now." She said, and managed a weak smile.
He smiled back at her and spread the items out on the floor. Uncle Ray's BBQ chips, Mike & Ike's, Cooler Ranch Doritos, Wild Berry Skittles and three cans of Lay's Stackers.
She took one of the Stackers and began eating. "Got anything to drink."
He got one of the water bottles from the backpack and gave it to her.
She's not going to say thank you.
But she did, smiling again. Then the silence returned, and it was still awful. He started eating the second can of Stackers and drank his own water.
He wasn't good at small talk, but he had to say something. The silence was terrible.
"So..."
Marie looked at him with flat and tired eyes.
"How's school?" Edd finished. He mentally slapped himself. It was so stupid. He thought she'd answer with sarcasm but she did not.
"Fine I guess. I got straight A's as usual. The fucking work's so boring."
Edd was shocked, but didn't say anything. The way she carried herself, he expected her grades to be like Eddy's: all over the damn place. A in econ, but a C in English; another A in public speaking, but another C in gym.
He stared at her as she ate. He never imagined that he would find a goth cute. But that's exactly what she was. She was like him in many ways. Helplessly angry, not really knowing what to do about it. Intelligent, but not enough to make them condescending. He could write decent prose, but knew for a fact that her art was amazing. He shared the same art class with her, and she could do with five colors more than most people could do with fifty.
"Fuck, I need a smoke." she muttered.
"You smoke?" he asked, gulping a little.
"Not all the fucking time Double D. I'm not a coal factory. It's just when I'm stressed."
"Okay." was all he said.
She rolled her eyes. "You don't know anything about me."
"I know that you hate me." Edd said quietly. "A lot."
"Because you hate me, Double D." Marie said simply. "You Eds always hated us Kankers."
Edd was shocked. "No I don't."
"When we first met you guys, and gave you food, you ignored us." She didn't sound all that bitter about it. Just sad more than anything else.
"We know we made a mistake! That's why we tried to apologize but then May kicked us out of the house! Then you stalked us for the rest of the summer."
"To get you fuckers to notice us!" she shouted. Now she did sound bitter. "Nothing we did worked. Then you—"
"Then I what?" Edd asked, confused.
"Then you danced with fucking Nazz." Marie hissed.
"I didn't ask to. She just took me and off we went." Edd said defensively.
"You didn't say no."
Edd sighed, and ran a hand over his hat. "No...I didn't. I liked her, okay? I had a massive crush on her."
Marie scoffed, and looked away. Edd could've gone further than that. Through a bizarre chain of events Kankers had ended up destroying the dance.
"I used to anyway." Edd said sadly.
Marie gave him a puzzled frown. "What happened?"
"She...slept with Kevin. When we were sixteen. She wanted help with Geometry—"
"Geometry was fucking simple."
"I know, Marie. Anyways, I asked if I could come over her house to help her. It was a morning class, so I asked her in the morning. She must've forgotten about it. Or maybe since she was talking to Sarah at the time, she didn't even hear me at all. Anyways, the door was open and the two of them were in the kitchen. The fucking kitchen!" he cried.
"Damn." Marie said, shaking her head.
Edd tried to shrug dismissively, but it was a violent angry shrug instead.
"I can't hate Kevin for it. He's friends with Eddy and Ed. He stood up for us. He stood up to Eddy's brother. She did too. You all did." Edd said, looking at her.
Marie blushed and stared at the floor.
Edd went on: "I just...thought she liked me. Because of the dance. Maybe she did, but she just liked Kevin more."
"Double D..." Marie started. She wanted to say that maybe Nazz had never really liked him. Probably she had just liked him better than Ed and Eddy. A lot more. Because he was a decent person. That wasn't the same thing as love. Not even close.
"I know, stupid wishful thinking." Edd finished.
"It's not stupid wanting your crush to like you."
They stared at one another. She was fucking beautiful.
"We should've been nicer to you guys." she said. "We shouldn't have forced ourselves on you."
Edd smiled sheepishly. "You gave me my first kiss."
"And all the ones after that. Without your consent."
He shrugged, and her grin broadened.
"Can I kiss you now?" she asked.
He was stunned and didn't know how to answer. Her face fell.
"Yes, I'd like that." he said without thinking.
"Really?" her voice was breathy. She couldn't believe it, and neither could he.
He nodded.
She came forward, crawling on the ground in a way that made him laugh. He stopped when he was directly in front of her.
"I'm sorry I hit you." she said. She put her lips to his cheek, and he felt warm all over. Suddenly, through his mind, a shadow play of carnal figures, pumping and grinding. It frightened him. Once the line was crossed, it was crossed, with no going back.
We have to stop! And he opened his mouth to say so. Then she kissed him on the lips and any chance of resistance was destroyed forever.
[5]
It was done and they lay beside each other, both naked.
He smiled, listening to the patter of rain on the roof. They'd done a pretty sweet job with the roof, there was one maybe two leaks through the whole thing.
I had a dream of being bad. And it was oh so good. And I was oh so glad. 'Cause I didn't know it would.
Where had he heard or read that? Somewhere online, on one of those fan fiction sites.
"You okay Double D?" she asked.
His left hand was in her right. He gave it a small squeeze. "Yes."
"You're aren't..." a pause. "You aren't sad that it happened are you? You aren't sad that...it was me?"
He looked at her, green eyes pleading. No, there would be none of that self-criticism. Not now.
"Be my girlfriend." he said softly. He couldn't believe that he was saying it. But why not? She liked him and he liked her. Maybe it would work out and maybe it wouldn't. He had no crystal ball. He had no clairvoyance. There's no way to know how life is going to be...but if you didn't at least try then what was the point?
"Yes." she said, and Edd felt something that was a mixture of euphoria and absolute terror.
"Some people won't like it." Marie said.
"Who? Eddy? What's he going to do about it? Lee would beat the shit out of him."
Marie laughed and nodded. "But Ed could beat the shit out of Lee."
"He could, certainly. I once saw him tear a house from the ground."
"No shit?"
"None. He won't fight Lee though. He tries to hide it, but I think he likes May."
Marie laughed again. It sounded heavenly to Edd's ears. "She'll like that. I know she will. Just like I like this."
And kissed him again.
They fell asleep hugging each other.