Chapter 1: From Russia With Love!

Hitman Agent 47 shot everyone with his gun and he got board and decided to watch all of the james bonds in his apartament in Sicily. he spent all of his Blood Monies on james bonds and watched them, and when he was done he called Diana to told her how cool they were.

"Diana. said 47. I got bored with hitting so now I want to be a james bond."

"Hello 47," Diana said over the phone at the Agency. "you may be a James Bond. But now that your are you half to be called 0047 now, because its the rules."

"Okay Diana," 47, who was now 0047, said. Do you want me to kale? Even though 47 was now a 007 , he could still hit people because they had a Lichens To Kill.

"We do have a missing, 0047. M16, where all the british spys live, wants us to hit a Russian terrist named Boris Borisovich Borin." Said Diana. "He is a meanie and a bad guy who sells nuke lure weapons and stuff to the middle of the east!"

"Sounds like he is a very evil villain," 0047, who was already in Russia, said. "I will stop his plans and make him stop being alive also."

Aglet 0047 was walked thought Stain Petergabriels. He was walked slowly so the Russian guards wouldn't be suspicion, but 0047 remembered he could just slide on the ground and still be silent, witch he forgotten he could do untl just then.

Agency 0047 looked and saw a wig shop. He decided that now that he was a James bond, he otter look the part. He shot his gun at the ground so the Russines guards would run away, and hewas able to bought a wig and put it on his head so he would look like James Bond, who, unlike 0047, had hare. He checked his map and saw that the target was in the big building in the middle of town where he had to kill some general guy during the second game. He thought he could shot him threw the windowed like he did the last time, but no once was allowing to have open windows ever since 0047 hit the general, so he tried something else.

Agrarian 0047 slided through the front door of the big building. A grad tried to tell him to go away, so 0047 ran away into the other room so the guars would follow, where he made him drink anaerobics until he fell unconcies. 0047 relzied, however, that james bond did notu sedisgises, so he through the body in to a nearby cologne without taking his clothes. 0047 pulled out his new silencee Walter PPK (he replaced his Silverballers with it beckons the PPK was James Bond's gun) and ran upstairs to the general room where the target was. He looked threw the keyhole and saw that he was talking on the phone with someone.

"I will send the nucalar wepon to you after you give me the ten billion dollars. You will be able to pick it up in Itsanbul City in 47 hours. Goodbye."

When he hunged up the phone, 0047 kicked down the door and pointed his gun at the target, Boris Borisovich Borin, but did not hit him because james bond didnt do that.

"Hello Mister Borisvocih Boring. 0047 said." He tried to think of a clever ion limer but he couldn't do it in time.

"Ahhhh, Mr. 47! I have been exemplifying you! Please have a sent on this chair." (AN: The target didnet know that 47 was actually 0047 now, so that's why he called him that.)

47, who was actually 0047, sat on the chair where he had a fancy dinner with the target. 0047 decided to ask about the villa's plans, because thats what James bond always did.

"So what are you're pans." asked 0047?

"I will tell you... in metropolis detale!"

Borisovich Borin began to exponent his plan to 0047. After a while, 0047 got bored and just shot him in the groin undre the table like in The Guy Who Loved Me, but since the balet was really slowly it took a really long time.

"Now I know why they called you Borisovich BORING! quipped 47." He was happy that he could finally thinked of a line.

Just then, a sexy Russian lady in a bikini walked into the general room where 47 was still eating. 47 uptend around and looked at her chest because that's what james bond always did. He taught it was wired that she was wearing a bikini in Russia but he dident care.

"Did yoou kill Mr. Borin? Thats ok. He was really boring and terrible at having sex! My name is Ihava Vagovna, whats your name"

"Man... Hit man," replied 0047. "Your name is very stupid but that is okay because I dont cared. I am not boring and have sex a lot so let's do that." Okay replied Ihava.

So Agnostic 0047 went int othe bedroom with Ihava and started having sex. Ihava was really impressed with how good 0047 was at it! Afterwards they drank lots of alcomohol and 0047 was called Diana.

"Diana, 0047, who was really drunk, said. Boring was sold nukes to some guy in the middle of the east, and they will be in Itsandbul City, the capital of turkey, in 47 hours."

"Excellent, 0047, said Diaana. your getting very god at youre new job even though it is almost the exact same as your old one!"

Thank you said 0047. He was very happy that he was good at being james bond.

"Now you must got to Istandbul City and blow up the nuclear facilitate with your gun," Diana contained, "so that the buyer will have no more bombs to blow up in the Middled East!"

"Okay, said 47, who was still 0047, but instead he had more sex and drank more alcomoel.

Suddenly, a bunch of grads burst into the bedroom! Ihava ran away screaming and jumped out a window, but it was closed so their was glass everywhere. 0047 did judo chops and karate moves at the grads so they would fall down, but suddenly a general snaked up behind and karate chopped 0047 lightly on the back of his head, knocking him unconcis for as long as the plot demeaned it.

Adjacent 47 woke up in the underground tunnel facilitate where he had to saved Agent Smith that one time. he was tied to a chair and had no clothes except for his underware.

"Hello, Agent 47," said a voice. 0047 assumption that no one knew he was a james Bond now, so he didn't care that no one was calling him 0047. The guy with the voice steeped into the lite and it was the general who kocked him out earlier! "I am General Vrolgen! You hit my number one busness patner! You also hit all my general friends in the second game! Now I will kill you1"

"Shut up." said 0047. Then General Vrolgen got really mad and punched 0047 on the face! Since he wasnet hit on the back of his head he was still conscientious.

0047 got really bored and looked at him weird, then untied himself from the claire and had butted the gnarl until he was knocked out. He put back on his suit and james Bond wig and ran away. While he was running away 0047 saw some papers on a tabl garded by a garden, so he walked up to him slowly and hit him a bunch of times with his gun that he found on the general until he was knocked oust. He picked up the papyrus and saw some letters to some Russian guy in Itsandbul City named Vladimir Zavorotko, who was the brother of the bad guy of the second game! The letter was from Boris Borisovich Borin and it said how he would sell nukes to Zavorotko in exchange for moneys.

Agriculture 0047 took the letter and put it under his wig in case he forgot, then escaped out into the city when suddenly the facility blew up for no reason! 0047 thought this was weird butt dident complain. Since he was coughed he didn't get Silent Assassan but he didn't care becuase there was more impotent stuff happened!