Author's Note:
Dear Reader. Thank you for reading one of my works. Sadly, I have to inform you that this story is covered with mediocrity. I haven't even bothered editing the last chapter as I have no more heart for the story. So please do not waste your time with this piece of rubbish.
Yours Sincerely
Aust Nova
The area is dark. I'm floating. I see nothing but darkness. I can hear nothing,
feel nothing, smell nothing. It is so lonely. How did I get here? Why am I
here? When will this loneliness stop?
"Hello, I'm DM and I have created you." Said a sudden bright light that
flickered on and off as it was speaking.
Trying to communicate, I am suddenly hit with the knowledge of speech. It comes to me
so suddenly that I inhale quickly trying to process all of that knowledge.
"I can talk?"
"Yes of course. I gave you the power of speech. Soon I will give you many more
powers." I realize that I am not exactly hearing "DM's"
words. I but understand him. As though he is directly sending messages to my
brain.
"For what reason?" I say. "aaaaaaahhhhhhh" I scream. I am suddenly
pummeled with invisible fists to my brain. Pictures, sounds, smells, data all
flowing into my brain. It feels like forever. Forever... Forever…Forever… when
will it stop? I am then welcomed by the subsiding pain. Welcomed by the feeling
of nothingness again. My brain hums, then vibrates, then stops. I think,
"what happened to me. That was such an awful feeling."
"I gave you all the knowledge you will need, for the world I am sending you in. As for
your last question, you are here to be part of my world. The meaning of life is
for you to figure out. Now I will ask some questions related to what you want
to be in this world. There are many races to choose from. You have 6 to choose
from. You may be a Human, Elf, Gnome, Half-Elf, Half-orc, Halfling." DM
then explained each one with a monotone voice ( the voice was suspiciously
close to Proffesser Snape's , the Potions master of Hogwarts.)
Humans:
The all around, diverse, short-lived superstars of the universe. As a human it
is acceptable to be anything you want. There is no specific stereotype for a
human. Some are hot. Others, not so much.
Elves:
The dexterous nature loving version of humans. They spend about a hundred
years maturing and don't expect to be dying soon. This long lived race is the
deer version of the horse like humans. More of a fragile, cunning, huge a tree
kind of people. Because it is against the law of the universe, female elves are
always as sexy as heck. It is freak'en impossible to have a ugly elf chick.
Note: elves do not usually celebrate Christmas.
Half-Elfs:
Half elf, Half human. What more do you want. Made form a very inappropriate
christmas special, these guys have the grace of an elf and the diversity and
energy of a human. They are also hot as the sun. It is unlikely you will find a
un-hot chick, since basically every main character in this story is made just so
you can fantasize about them in your mind. How big is your imagination. If you
need help, go to google images and type in all of these races. (Sadly I cannot
post pictures here)
Gnomes:
This race is not your average garden sentry. More bulkier then Halflings and
more famillior to crafts and wizardry then most races. They love animals, gems
and jokes and have a great sense of humor. Very curious ...
"Stop! I can't take your dull voice anymore! (inhale, exhale) I'll, I'll take
Half-Elf. I want to be different and interesting."
"Very well then. What occupation or class would you like?"
DM explained the classes in a commercial spokesperson kind of voice.
"Barbarian.
You hack and slash and can get angry! No one wants to get you mad. Your motto
is "Break things first, ask questions later".
Bard.
Do you feel like you can burst out and sing? Are you poetic and feel art is
more important then fighting? Well the bard is right for you. As you strum on
your lute, you weave magic in your song. This class is most effective in groups,
as you help your team mates more than taking down dragons.
Cleric:
These religious people take their God very seriously. In order to perform their
magic they receive power from their god by praying. Clerics can fight and use
magic but they are more tuned into towards magic. Clerics are wonderful
healers and can even raise the dead.
Druid:
This class is the same as the cleric except they pray to nature (or a nature
god). This class is the swiss poket knife of the outdoors. Tree hugers unite!
Paladin:
This class is a sterotypical Prince Charming kind of knight. All for justice,
honer, law. This class can use Cleric like spells as it improves. "Fight
for good or die' nuff said.
Fighter:
As it's name implies, all this class is good for is fighting. It can do ANYTHING
related to fighting.
Ranger:
Super cool, nimble, arrow at your head insanity. It is the twin brother of the paladin, but it has less restrictions than the paladin. They mostly uses bow and arrow
but they can also fight two handed. Better watch your back because a ranger is right
behind you.
Soccerer:
This rip off of a wizard is the lucky, born with extra ordinary power, son of a butt quake. They get their
power from their heritage not from study. They have the best charisma and are
the face of the group. Laidies man extaordinare, your power is with-in.
Wizard:
The spell man of ultimate intelect. Make a spell BOOM! rabbit out of a hat.
BOOM! rabbit is now dead. Take a second, because your studying for a spell.
Don't ask them to spell. Go to a Spelling Bee for that. Do anything you want
because the rabbi- I mean the world is in your hands.
"I want to be a Druid and hug little fury animals. Yea!"
"Now that you have chosen your class (and I do not care about your other specifics)
you will be sent to your first adventure. You name shall be Aust Nova. Prepare to be transmitted to the
third dimension. Have a nice day"
Vrrrrrrooooooommmm. A vacuum like noise filled the area.
"AAAAAAAAAAA. Must eat meat. AAGGaga Ga. Streach my brain, be kind to my ear.
Agagagagagagagaagag Lady gaga. Pain so much pain. Can't think curvy, strait.
Meat, Meat, Meat, MEAT. Paper Mario and chickens dancing in my
kitchenAAAAAAAAAAAA."
Aust, right now, is hallucinating and having a hard time to get his thoughts strait.
You see, while you are being transmitted to a different dimension, you become
very delusional and feel lots of pain. The reason being is that you have to be
shrunk or stretched depending on what dimension you are traveling to. For
example, if you have a 2 dimensional person then you have height and width but
no length. On the side view of the person, you see nothing. It is extremely
hard to go from no depth to some depth/length. It is like taking a 1981 Mario
and turning it to a 2010 Mario. You have the same concept. But, you have to basically
rebuild the whole thing.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA"
BOOM! Face up lying down, Aust was looking very pale and perplexed.
Aust blinked his eyes and saw the pure blueness of the sky. The large puffy clouds
offered shade from the sun but he still squinted from the light.
"I wonder if I can find some carrots here."
Aust then had a sudden craving for carrots. He then waved his arms up and down, up and
down, up and down against the smooth, cool grass.
"This feels good."He then waved his legs opened, closed, opened, closed. This time he didn't feel
grass with his legs but rough material that his newly programmed brain called
"leather." He continued doing this for a couple minutes constantly
thinking of carrots. Then something very shocking happened that made Aust pause
in shock (because it was so shocking). A big head slowly came into Aust's view.
It had a big chin, a big nose and one set of teeth sticking out of its mouth (even though its mouth was closed). It had black hair that was loose and ear height.
One scar was running down his left cheek. The thing, which Aust realized was some orc, spoke. "Who are you…. and what
are you doing making grass angles on the ground?"
Still shocked Aust could only stutter "I… I'm… I…. I'm c… I'm carrots?"