Konnichiwa! I thought of this when I was browsing for lyrics online... and I
thought that it was hilarious, if I d say so myself. READ, NOW! Hahaha...
Note: I didn't change the lyrics, thus, this is not a song fic. It's not the lyrics so much as the situation... read it and you'll understand. Also, this is a spin-off of the episode "Kagome's Voice and Kikyo's Kiss," so it makes the most sense if you have SEEN the episode... yeah.
Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha, Houshi-sama would HAVE someone to bear his child, dig?
Inuyasha: I Will Survive
"K...Kikyo?!"
The undead miko turned to face a shocked Inuyasha. Her face, the epitome of depression, appeared even paler then it already was due to her flowing black hair. Her ribbon was in Inuyasha's possession after she dropped it... to lead him into her trap. Muahahahahahahahahaaaa!!!
...Oh, come on! "Trap"?! That's one of the biggest clichés EVER!! How could there NOT be evil laughter there?!
...Moving right along... "So it IS you capturing the souls of the women in the village!"
Kikyo fought the urge to roll her deep brown eyes. 'Ano... how long did it take for you to figure THAT out, hanyou? Honestly...' "Yes, it was I, Inuyasha."
"But... why?"
Kagome, meanwhile, was yelling at him persistently. "DID YOU JUST SAY 'WHY'?? The viewers aren't THAT stupid!!!" She sighed. "Remind me why I love you, again?"
The question fell on deaf ears as Inuyasha stared at Kikyo. 'She... she's here! She's really here!' Not the smartest, but Kami-sama, does he have a six-pack like nobody's business, or what?
Well?
Kikyo explained her complicated situation to the attentive hanyou. She was then asked to repeat what she just said, but slower. It was like explaining the laws of physics to a very stupid kindergartener.
'I don't remember him being THIS dumb, even when he ran right past me with the Shikon no Tama and expected me not to notice! Something's wrong...' Her worries were driven from her mind when he stepped slightly closer to her. 'That's right... come with me to HELL!!! Muahahahahahahaaaa!!!'
...So she didn't actually think that!! So what? Artistic license, biatch!! *Snaps fingers*
"Inuyasha... I know what happened. I know about Naraku's deception."
"Y... you do? Then why...?"
She glared at him. "I JUST SAID, I NEED the girl's souls to LIVE!!" Then, remembering her current position, she backpedaled faster than a politician. "...And I mean that in only the most loving way, of course! Aheh..."
"...Okay!" He stepped closer.
Kikyo, annoyed by Kagome's constant screaming and her beau's stupidity, hurried things up a bit by stepping closer to him, as well. She leaned in for the inevitable kiss... when something odd happened.
Inuyasha stepped back.
...Interesting.
"Whoa! Did you hear me, Inuyasha?!" Kagome asked. "Because I just told you to do that..."
Kikyo spared a quick, furious look at her reincarnation before turning her full attention back at Inuyasha. "Why did you... pull away from me?" She asked, trying to look as delicate and damsel-like as possible. She read in the latest issue of "Cosmo Girl" that guys really dig a helpless chick.
"Listen, sister!" Inuyasha snapped, his unintelligent, glazed eyes snapping in to focus. "You tried to friggin' kill me! I'm not just gonna run back to you! I have self-respect, y'know!"
"...Actually, no, I didn't—but still! We are in love!" Kikyo tried to regain his trust and tried to figure out where she went wrong.
"We are not! I've got someone else now! ...And it sounds to me like you need some serious closure, lady!"
Kagome, thrilled that Inuyasha no longer returns Kikyo's feelings, suddenly remembered where Inuyasha must have gotten this sudden insperation. "Oh, Lord..." She sighed.
"Do you know how hard it was for me at first?" Inuyasha continued. "To be all alone, betrayed? I don't think you do!"
"Inuyasha, please!" Kikyo pleaded. "Maybe we could work this out over coffee...?"
"No! I think you need to understand how I feel!"
"And how will you explain this feeling of yours, exactly?"
"Through the magic of... GLORIA GAYNOR!!"
"Who?"
But Inuyasha had already started belting out the lyrics to his favorite song, rehersed for this exact occasion...
"At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side..."
"Well, technically, you weren't living for fifty years after I left," Kikyo rationalized, trying her hardest to keep at least some of this situation sane. "You were under my arrow's spell..."
"Shut up, Kikyo!" Kagome hissed at her. "I'm listening!"
"...But then I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along...!"
"That wasn't my fault! Naraku...!"
"SHUT UP!!"
"...And so you're back
from outer space..."
"Where?" Kikyo asked no one in particular.
"...I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face..."
"Sing it, Inuyasha!! Whoo!!" Kagome was thoroughly enjoying herself.
"I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me!!"
"Okay, now I'm lost. We didn't share a house—"
"Stop trying to make everything make sense and listen!!"
"Go on now go! Walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive...!"
Kikyo rubbed her temples in annoyance. "You DIDN'T lay down, you were PINNED to a TREE, I DIED before I could hurt you with goodbye, you BAKA!!"
"He's so good! Could he be the ancestor of Gloria Gaynor...?"
"Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive [Hey, hey]..."
"Wait, who was doing back-up just there?" Kagome asked Kikyo.
She sweat-dropped. "I'm pretty sure that was Myoga-jiji..."
Kagome followed suit. "That guy can defiantly project his voice..."
"It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart..."
"...And the Shikon no Tama. That, too." Kagome supplied.
"...And I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry..."
"Awe, really?" Kagome said, sympathetic.
"But now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
and now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me...!!!"
"He's talking about me, y'know," Kagome smirked.
"Shut up."
"Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive!!!"
"...Is it over?" Kikyo asked, staring in puzzlement at Inuyasha.
"I don't think so... he needs to repeat the lyrics with his back-up singers."
"Wait... singerSSS? As in, plural? I thought it was just Myoga-jiji...?"
"Me, too... wait... oh, Kami-sama!!!"
"What? ...Oh..." Kikyo quickly saw the reason for Kagome's shock. After all, how often did you see feudal back-up singers suddenly appear out of the nearby bushes?
...And how often were the afore mentioned back-up singers Sesshomaru and Jaken, all "glammed up" in red sequined versions of their normal outfits.
"Go on now go [Go on now go] walk out the door [walk out the door]
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble [Think he'd crumble]
Did you think I'd lay down and die [Die]
Oh no, not I
I will survive [He will survive]
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live [life to live]
I've got all my love to give [love to give]
and I'll survive [survive]
I WILL SURVIVE [HEY, HEY!!!]!!!"
And, just as the final words were said, Miroku sucked the entire scene into his Kazaana. "Thank the Buddha that THAT'S over..."
The End!!
Review, please!!!
Note: I didn't change the lyrics, thus, this is not a song fic. It's not the lyrics so much as the situation... read it and you'll understand. Also, this is a spin-off of the episode "Kagome's Voice and Kikyo's Kiss," so it makes the most sense if you have SEEN the episode... yeah.
Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha, Houshi-sama would HAVE someone to bear his child, dig?
Inuyasha: I Will Survive
"K...Kikyo?!"
The undead miko turned to face a shocked Inuyasha. Her face, the epitome of depression, appeared even paler then it already was due to her flowing black hair. Her ribbon was in Inuyasha's possession after she dropped it... to lead him into her trap. Muahahahahahahahahaaaa!!!
...Oh, come on! "Trap"?! That's one of the biggest clichés EVER!! How could there NOT be evil laughter there?!
...Moving right along... "So it IS you capturing the souls of the women in the village!"
Kikyo fought the urge to roll her deep brown eyes. 'Ano... how long did it take for you to figure THAT out, hanyou? Honestly...' "Yes, it was I, Inuyasha."
"But... why?"
Kagome, meanwhile, was yelling at him persistently. "DID YOU JUST SAY 'WHY'?? The viewers aren't THAT stupid!!!" She sighed. "Remind me why I love you, again?"
The question fell on deaf ears as Inuyasha stared at Kikyo. 'She... she's here! She's really here!' Not the smartest, but Kami-sama, does he have a six-pack like nobody's business, or what?
Well?
Kikyo explained her complicated situation to the attentive hanyou. She was then asked to repeat what she just said, but slower. It was like explaining the laws of physics to a very stupid kindergartener.
'I don't remember him being THIS dumb, even when he ran right past me with the Shikon no Tama and expected me not to notice! Something's wrong...' Her worries were driven from her mind when he stepped slightly closer to her. 'That's right... come with me to HELL!!! Muahahahahahahaaaa!!!'
...So she didn't actually think that!! So what? Artistic license, biatch!! *Snaps fingers*
"Inuyasha... I know what happened. I know about Naraku's deception."
"Y... you do? Then why...?"
She glared at him. "I JUST SAID, I NEED the girl's souls to LIVE!!" Then, remembering her current position, she backpedaled faster than a politician. "...And I mean that in only the most loving way, of course! Aheh..."
"...Okay!" He stepped closer.
Kikyo, annoyed by Kagome's constant screaming and her beau's stupidity, hurried things up a bit by stepping closer to him, as well. She leaned in for the inevitable kiss... when something odd happened.
Inuyasha stepped back.
...Interesting.
"Whoa! Did you hear me, Inuyasha?!" Kagome asked. "Because I just told you to do that..."
Kikyo spared a quick, furious look at her reincarnation before turning her full attention back at Inuyasha. "Why did you... pull away from me?" She asked, trying to look as delicate and damsel-like as possible. She read in the latest issue of "Cosmo Girl" that guys really dig a helpless chick.
"Listen, sister!" Inuyasha snapped, his unintelligent, glazed eyes snapping in to focus. "You tried to friggin' kill me! I'm not just gonna run back to you! I have self-respect, y'know!"
"...Actually, no, I didn't—but still! We are in love!" Kikyo tried to regain his trust and tried to figure out where she went wrong.
"We are not! I've got someone else now! ...And it sounds to me like you need some serious closure, lady!"
Kagome, thrilled that Inuyasha no longer returns Kikyo's feelings, suddenly remembered where Inuyasha must have gotten this sudden insperation. "Oh, Lord..." She sighed.
"Do you know how hard it was for me at first?" Inuyasha continued. "To be all alone, betrayed? I don't think you do!"
"Inuyasha, please!" Kikyo pleaded. "Maybe we could work this out over coffee...?"
"No! I think you need to understand how I feel!"
"And how will you explain this feeling of yours, exactly?"
"Through the magic of... GLORIA GAYNOR!!"
"Who?"
But Inuyasha had already started belting out the lyrics to his favorite song, rehersed for this exact occasion...
"At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side..."
"Well, technically, you weren't living for fifty years after I left," Kikyo rationalized, trying her hardest to keep at least some of this situation sane. "You were under my arrow's spell..."
"Shut up, Kikyo!" Kagome hissed at her. "I'm listening!"
"...But then I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along...!"
"That wasn't my fault! Naraku...!"
"SHUT UP!!"
"...And so you're back
from outer space..."
"Where?" Kikyo asked no one in particular.
"...I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face..."
"Sing it, Inuyasha!! Whoo!!" Kagome was thoroughly enjoying herself.
"I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me!!"
"Okay, now I'm lost. We didn't share a house—"
"Stop trying to make everything make sense and listen!!"
"Go on now go! Walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive...!"
Kikyo rubbed her temples in annoyance. "You DIDN'T lay down, you were PINNED to a TREE, I DIED before I could hurt you with goodbye, you BAKA!!"
"He's so good! Could he be the ancestor of Gloria Gaynor...?"
"Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive [Hey, hey]..."
"Wait, who was doing back-up just there?" Kagome asked Kikyo.
She sweat-dropped. "I'm pretty sure that was Myoga-jiji..."
Kagome followed suit. "That guy can defiantly project his voice..."
"It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart..."
"...And the Shikon no Tama. That, too." Kagome supplied.
"...And I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry..."
"Awe, really?" Kagome said, sympathetic.
"But now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
and now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me...!!!"
"He's talking about me, y'know," Kagome smirked.
"Shut up."
"Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive!!!"
"...Is it over?" Kikyo asked, staring in puzzlement at Inuyasha.
"I don't think so... he needs to repeat the lyrics with his back-up singers."
"Wait... singerSSS? As in, plural? I thought it was just Myoga-jiji...?"
"Me, too... wait... oh, Kami-sama!!!"
"What? ...Oh..." Kikyo quickly saw the reason for Kagome's shock. After all, how often did you see feudal back-up singers suddenly appear out of the nearby bushes?
...And how often were the afore mentioned back-up singers Sesshomaru and Jaken, all "glammed up" in red sequined versions of their normal outfits.
"Go on now go [Go on now go] walk out the door [walk out the door]
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble [Think he'd crumble]
Did you think I'd lay down and die [Die]
Oh no, not I
I will survive [He will survive]
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live [life to live]
I've got all my love to give [love to give]
and I'll survive [survive]
I WILL SURVIVE [HEY, HEY!!!]!!!"
And, just as the final words were said, Miroku sucked the entire scene into his Kazaana. "Thank the Buddha that THAT'S over..."
The End!!
Review, please!!!