"Naked" is the copyright of Avril Lavigne. Cowboy Bebop rights belong to Sunrise, Inc. (I wonder if they'd let me have Spike if I promised to play nice…)
I wake up in the morning
Put on my face
The one that's gonna get me
Through another day
Doesn't really matter
How I feel inside
'Cause life is like a game sometimes…
Faye poked her head out of her room and glanced quickly both ways down the hall to see if anyone was around. The dark ship confirmed her suspicions that the rest of the crew was either sleeping or gone off somewhere, and she breathed a small sigh of relief. Finally, I've got the place to myself. She thought. Wrapping her towel more tightly around her thin frame, she headed down the dark hall to the tiny shower and carefully locked the door behind her.
The face in the mirror showed thin lines around her eyes, a reflection of the stress caused by their last bounty in addition to the physical wounds she had sustained. She grinned to herself a little. Maybe her years were beginning to show. She was getting too old for this bounty hunter crap. Artemia Giden had been on the run after gunning down several innocents and the heir to a powerful family in a failed hotel robbery on Mars. The family of the young man had placed a 500,000 woolong bounty on his murderess' head, along with the warning for all bounty hunters to be extremely careful with the hardened criminal woman, as the family wanted some justice of their own.
She was a tough broad, all right. Intelligent, too. Faye rubbed her cheek thoughtfully and sighed, her expression in the mirror almost wistful. The woman bounty had led Jet and Faye on a chase through a ramshackle district and would have gotten away if not for Spike's quick thinking and faster guns.
In the heat of the fight, Giden had shot out a window above Faye's spot, showering her with shards of glass. The stinging distraction almost caused Faye her life; the bounty would have put a bullet straight through her heart instead of only whizzing past her shoulder if Spike hadn't shoved her out of the way just in time.
Later, back on the Bebop after the woman had been subdued and brought to the local ISSP branch for transfer to the family, Spike had brushed off Faye's attempt to thank him for saving her life. She was hurt at his indifference to one of her rare apologies and covered it with several choice words for the stupid lunkhead.
But then you came around me
The walls just disappeared
Nothing to surround me
And keep me from my fears
I'm unprotected
See how I've opened up
Oh, you've made me trust
Sighing again, Faye hung up her towel and slipped into the shower. Soon the hot water was running its soothing fingers down her back in a steamy massage. This last bounty had set her and Spike at each other like cats scrabbling over territory. They were both too stubborn to pick a plan and stick to it. She paused from scrubbing her hair to slam her palm against the wet wall.
That damn fuzzy-haired moron! Even in the most heated parts of their arguing, that lazy devil-may-care look in his eyes had never focused on her. It was almost like he was fighting with her on autopilot while his brain was elsewhere. "Once, just once, I'd like him to focus on me, instead of galloping off to that far place where he can flirt around with that damn Barbie girl, Julia." She murmured to herself.
The only reply she got was the water switching from the comforting steamy hot to icy cold, and Faye gasped involuntarily. She quickly rinsed off, and got out of the now-freezing water.
Because I've never felt like this before
I'm naked
Around you
Does it show?
You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked
Around you
And it feels so right
As she wiped away the residual steam from the mirror, Faye realized that her bright eyes, once a tool to get whatever she wanted from men, were glazed over with tears. She was doing something she hadn't done in years. She was crying. Crying? Over him? What has he ever done for you, other than give you headaches and steal your cigarettes? The arguing voice in her head didn't help her feel any better, and she went on crying as she dressed.
Let's be honest here, her thought voice said quietly. You love him. He doesn't give a damn about you, but he can always see right through you, no matter what. Yet you're still here, and you don't want to be without him. Faye sniffled, and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. Her reflection in the mirror shrugged at her.
Spike couldn't love her. He was there for the money and perhaps Jet, but not for her. His damned Julia, queen of the phantom Barbie dolls still haunted him. When he lay on the couch watching TV, Faye always saw his eyes go unfocused, and he was back living whatever violent past life had been his before arriving at the Bebop.
Yet for some reason, she was still here, taking all this from him. Living in the shadow of a long-lost lover who was probably dead. The old Faye Valentine would never have stood for this. But Spike got to her. He was the one who had made her simply drop all the layers. Hell, the walls around her were open to just about anything he could throw at her. Maybe that's why it hurt so much when he always looked past her.
I'm trying to remember
Why I was afraid
To be myself and let the
Covers fall away
I guess I never had someone like you
To help me, to help me fit
In my spirit
Even now, there was no reason for him to ever feel the same way about her. Faye, darling, you're a bitch. And a lazy, complaining one, at that. Frowning at the unwelcome thoughts, Faye pushed away from the mirror and sink to gather up her strewn-about clothes. Who cares? Jet and Ed and even Ein had adjusted to her, and she generally got along with them just fine.
Why then did Spike make her want to kiss him and curl up in a ball on the floor at the same time? When did she begin to let him get under her skin like that? Half the time she wanted to take out his eyes with her sharp nails, and the rest of the time she ached to caress his face with the same fingers.
He made her feel whole somehow. Aside from having no friends, no family, and a relatively unfathomable hospital bill to somehow pay off, she had been fine. Working in a casino has been no problem. She worked her shifts to pay what bills she could, and things were fine.
Until him, Faye had never realized just how lonely she was. Every run-in with Spike aboard the Bebop managed to both infuriate and lift her up. But he would never figure it out, would he? That whiny, green-haired mop head would never love her, and although she wasn't worried about endearing herself to the rest of the crew, she couldn't stop the Poker Alice attitude; couldn't let him see her. Faye. Just plain old Faye.
Not gambling Faye, not bitch Faye, but the real person inside the yellow slut suit. As she moved to open the bathroom door, Faye glanced one more time at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were now red from crying, but her makeup was all the way in her room. Better make a quick exit, She thought.
She pulled the door open, and before she could take the first running step towards her room, the tall fuzzy-haired man stood there, fist raised to pound on the door. Faye stared at him, her jaw unconsciously hanging wide open. Spike stared at her, startled to have his "you've-been-in-there-too-long" rant taken away, but even more startled to see her red-rimmed eyes and to not immediately be verbally accosted.
Recovering herself, Faye cleared her throat. "Yes?" Spike blinked, and looked at her. Both of his eyes focused on her face, and Faye felt a quiet shiver go down her back. Those mismatched eyes were actually seeing her, for once. "Uh, dinner time." He managed. Faye nodded, fighting down an uncharacteristic blush. "I'll just be a second." She said quietly, and ran for the safety of her room.
I'm so naked around you
And I can't hide
You're gonna see right through, baby
Spike, even more confused now, stood in front of the empty bathroom door scratching his head. Had that been Faye in front of him, or someone else? Normally, disturbing her bath time would have earned him entrance into the next round of their ongoing fight. But…nothing?
"That girl just gets weirder and weirder." He murmured to himself. Maybe with their latest bounty money, Jet had bought beef to go along with the bell peppers. Spike walked off whistling towards the kitchen. Faye joined them a few minutes later, loud and complaining; no hint of the silent sad person from the bathroom doorway.
While gulping down his second steaming helping of bell peppers and beef, Spike caught several of the quick, somehow hurt looks from the purple-haired woman. Her emerald eyes gleamed strangely, reminding him of haunted blue orbs from long ago …he tucked the memory back into the place he reserved for the past, and forked another mouthful of the cooling dinner into his mouth.
I'm so naked
around you
And I can't hide
You're gonna see right through, baby…
Don't cry for me, Cowboy.