A/N: Well hello all! I'm back at home with my knee injured again!! Woo... not. So, I had this little idea after seeing the ad for CI on USA:) I like it... too bad I won't see it until February (at the earliest:S Channel 10 are direct-streaming House, Life and Californication... why can't they direct stream CI and SVU?!) Hope you like it:) And it pretty much makes no sense but hey... its FF right?

Dedication: To all my readers:) Thank youuuu

--Alex's POV--

I ran my fingers over the letters engraved in the cold stone, my heart aching at the memory. The summer breeze was rustling the leaves above me, and I closed my eyes, wishing I could go back in time and stop this from ever happening. But then, if Joe was still alive, I wouldn't have Bobby... Who would I have chosen if Joe hadn't died? Would I have left him for Bobby? Questions like this continually raced through my mind, and I hated it. I hated how I had to question my own judgement. For God's sake, I trust Bobby Goren with my life... why can't I trust myself? Anyone would agree that, hell, I'm a million times more stable than he is... well, I was. My life is unravelling around me and I can't do anything about it. I pressed my forehead against the marble, tears spilling down my face.

'I miss you... so, so much...' I mumbled, my hands on either side of the rock, keeping myself as grounded as possible. 'Why'd you have to leave me? Everything was so perfect...' I opened my eyes, and my stomach lurched as I read the writing that I had memorized. 'Beloved son, husband and father.' I laughed bitterly at the last part. Father... Kylie never knew him, so how does that make him a father? I looked over at the path, Bobby standing there, watching over me like a hawk. I smiled sadly to myself. I could never tell him about Kylie... As much as I wanted to, I just couldn't. I pressed a small kiss to the headstone, wiping away my tears as I pulled away. 'I'll always love you, Joe... always...' I stood up, placing a single white rose on the soft grass. I walked slowly over to the path, taking Bobby's hand softly.

'You alright?' He whispered into my hair, as we began walking back to the car. I nodded, and he said nothing, even though we both knew I was nowhere near alright.

'When am I coming up next?' I sighed... I hated this question... Don't get me wrong. I love my daughter more than anything in this world... But Kylie coming to stay meant two things. One... She was in danger... Joe's killer had never been caught, and for all I knew he was following me, carrying a shotgun and ready to rid the world of Alex Eames. And two... Bobby would find out about her. I don't think I could handle that, but I needed to see Kylie. I sighed again. 'Mom?'

'I'm here... How about I come and get you on Friday... you finish school for the term then, don't you?' I mentally kicked myself. How could I not tell him now?! Dammit, Alex!!!

'Yeah, I do... pack enough for the weekend?' I sighed softly. I could hear the hurt in her voice. I knew she didn't want to pack enough for the weekend. She wanted to pack enough for forever, but right now it just wasn't in the cards. So I made a decision that was hopefully enough for now.

'What about you stay the whole holidays?' Damn... damn damn damn... I picked up a pen and paper, writing on it in huge letters: 'KILL BOBBY', the crossing out the 'KILL' and replacing it with 'TELL'... Telling him would be a hell of a lot easier than killing him.

'Really?' There was excitement in her voice. I hadn't heard that in years...

'Yeah, really sweetheart. I'll take the time off work and it'll just be you and me, okay?' I groaned... Joe's parents would not like this. At all. 'Put Grandma on, okay? And I'll see you on Friday...' I heard the phone being tossed around, and I mentally prepared myself. I hated talking to Joe's parents, and I know for a fact that they hated me. Ohhh they hated me with a passion, and didn't screw around when it came to Kylie.

'Alex?' I clenched my teeth. 'Kylie said you wanted to take her over the holidays... Is that really a good idea? After all you've been through, you can't possibly handle her.' I felt my anger boiling. Calm thoughts... Calm, calm thoughts...

'I can handle my own daughter, Janet... believe me. And no matter what I've been through, I should still be allowed to see my baby girl!' I heard the door unlock. DAMN!!!

'Well fine then.' Say what? 'You better be here, like you promised...' The dial tone. Okay then... I hung up, and saw Bobby standing in the doorway staring at me.

'Hi...' I said slowly, standing up and catching a glimpse of my 'TELL BOBBY' note. Damn my note-taking. He watched me move towards him, and I sighed. 'Bad day?'

'Yeah... who were you on the phone to?' Shit... he heard... 'Because I could swear I heard you say that you can take care of your own daughter.' I felt sick. Like, not cough cough woe is me sick, but actual please kill me now sick. 'Alex... what's going on?' I saw the hurt in his eyes, and I felt sicker, if that was at all possible. I took a deep breath. I haven't felt this nervous since I told him I was pregnant with Nathan.

'I have a daughter, Bobby...' I said softly, searching for any sign of anger in his eyes. I touched his hand, and his fingers wrapped around my tiny hand. 'I'm so sorry I never told you...'

'How old is she?' He said, gripping onto my hand like it was the only thing keeping him steady. I looked down.

'Eight...' My eyes found their way back up, and automatically locked with his. I felt horrible. 'I am so sorry I didn't tell you...' Before I knew it, his arms were wrapped tightly around me, and my face was buried in his chest. I focused on his heartbeat, and I began to calm down.

'Does she know... what happened?' He mumbled. I nodded softly. 'Does she know about us?' I looked up, and shook my head sadly.

'I... I want her to meet you, though.' I watched him, trying to figure out what he was thinking. 'I'm picking her up on Friday...' He nodded gently, his fingers entangling in my hair. I sighed softly. This was going to be a long two weeks...

What'dya all think? Reviews are much much much appreciated:)