Author's Note: Okay, this plot bunny hit me a while back, and I apologize profusely for it. I blame my fandoms for sleeping around on me. Dedicated in part to my Speechie-love, because she's such an amazing writer for both of these series.

Disclaimer: If I honestly owned these things, do you think I'd be a broke college kid studying to be an elementary teacher? Yeah, I thought not.

The Crossover That Should Never, Ever Happen


The Warthog had been practically destroyed by the Blues' tank, and, as such, Sarge had promptly got on the horn with Vic to get a replacement.

"No can do, Sarge," the annoying communications officer replied. Sarge grunted in shock.

"Whaddaya mean, Vic?" he asked in his rough voice. "Ya got us this one easy enough. What's gonna be so tough about a replacement?"

"Weeeeeeell," Vic replied, stretching out syllables that had no business being stretched, "it'll take a bit of tricky finagling to get everything lookin' like I never sent you the first one in the first place, but...," and here he paused, sounding as if he were really having trouble with this decision, "I'll see what we can get ya, Sarge."

Sarge sighed in relief. He couldn't very well let the Blues keep their advantage, could he? "We'll be waiting for it, Vic." With that, he cut the communication and turned to his troops. "Well, ladies, Vic's puttin' in fer a new Warthog fer us." The reactions to this news were as he'd expected them to be. Donut giggled and let out a little whoop, Grif sigh, Simmons nodded, and Lopez stood silently by the wrecked pieces of the old vehicle. "Let's try not to destroy this one so quickly," Sarge continued with a pointed stare at Grif.

The orange-armored soldier sighed again. "I'd just like to point out that it was Simmons' fault-"

"It was not! You're the one who had the great idea to try and find a path that didn't exist!" interrupted the maroon-clad private, turning on his friend. Sarge sighed and tuned them out, the argument a familiar one, and turned back into his base to await their new vehicle.

-----

The transport ship caught his sensors, and even more interesting than the big, hulking flight vehicle (a crass and lumbering way of moving around, he thought) was the smaller, much more mobile ground vehicle inside of it. Checking his fuel reserves, he decided to follow this transport ship to its destination, then scan the smaller vehicle inside for some reconnaissance.

-----

The delivery was made, for once, in the dead of night, and Grif, who was supposed to be on duty, was, of course, fast asleep atop Red Base when the drop was made. As such, he completely missed the meteor falling into the canyon behind the base in addition to the sudden arrival of a brand new M12-LRV.

Still unobserved, a large form climbed out of the crater caused by the meteor and made its way over to the shiny new jeep. Within seconds the form was gone, replaced with an identical jeep to the one dropped from the ship. The two vehicles sat next to each other, awaiting the morning.