At The End Of The Day
POST 11X21. After Bailey life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11.
I own nothing
PART I
Derek Bailey Shepherd was your average 14 year old boy, torn between leaving childhood and adolescence. Of girls and friends. He for one loved hockey, his mother had signed him up when he was just six, as a way to blow off some steam when he'd began acting out, it had been more than that to Bailey at this point. It was more than a sport or a hobby. It was a way of life.
A way of life, it'd been in the Shepherd household, everyone tried their best to be there at every game, Meredith had made it a family thing, even dragging Amy and Owen along for it.
"Do I have to go?" Zola asked that morning, Bailey had just been named team captain and it was his first game of the season so it was a really important night for him, but Zola was a 17 year old girl, no longer interested in whatever antics her brother might be off to in the game, for her, he was a show off, and she no longer needed this to interfere with her personal life.
"Honey, we've talked about this, everyone's going to be there, it's an important night for your brother."
"Of course it is, every hockey night is important, I'm sick of it mom, I never go out on Saturday's because of Bailey's stupid games!" Zola groaned. She picked up her lunch and headed out the door, Ellis in tow. "Ugh, I hate this!"
"Don't forget, game's at six" Meredith said with a smile, knowing her child had no way of wining this. "You have to pick up your sister from soccer at four."
"Anything else?" Zola said.
"Yes, have a good day sweetie, I love you."
"She doesn't have to come if she doesn't want to, it's fine." Bailey said as soon as Meredith parked the SUV in front of the school.
"No, it's our thing, she has to come, plus it's your big night! Don't you want your sister there?"
"Whatever, it's not that important, they'll be other games, all Zola wants to do is go and make out with her boyfriend." Bailey made a disgust face.
"Don't remind me, it's too early in the morning." Meredith rolled her eyes as Bailey laughed. "Have a good day, I love you."
Always hold your children at least once day, no matter how old they are, don't forget to tell them how much you love them or how proud you are of them, it's important for them, but even more for you.
Bailey would always take a bus to the rink for practice since it was so far from school, today he was wearing his lucky everything, sure, he'd told his mom this game wasn't that important, but he was just giving himself some peace of mind, to not make it that big of a deal so he wasn't more nervous about doing a good job. He fiddled with something in his pocket as he walked over to the back entrance.
"Shepherd, big night huh?" Coach Williamson was already there. He patted Bailey on the back and wished him good luck, leaving Bailey in the locker rooms alone for a second. He sat down on a bench, his hand in his pocket. He took a deep breath and smiled. From his pocket, he took out his dad's old ferryboat scrub cap, looking at it with a nostalgic glance.
Derek had always been an important part of his life, even though he'd died when he was just a little boy, he barely remembered him on his own, but he'd stay up for hours watching old surgeries his parents had done and imagined having Derek teach him everything he knew. From being a good doctor, to a good man.
"Hey man." Tommy, his best friend said. Bailey moved his fingers of the fabric he was holding, then put in back in his jacket's pocket. "You okay?"
"You think I'd be any good?" He asked in all honesty.
"Dude, you were born for this, you learned to skate almost perfectly in your first week back when we were little, it still beats me how Williamson didn't name you captain years ago..."
"You're just boosting my ego, I am not that good." Bailey said shyly.
"You are a hockey god, that's all I have to say. " His best friend said. "Just remember us mortals when you achieve greatness, will ya?"
Neurogod.
"Does she ever let go of that phone?" Amelia asked Meredith as she glanced over at Zola. "Please tell me we weren't like that. Please tell me my girls won't be"
"We weren't, we actually had life." Meredith said quickly, rolling her eyes at Zola. "Back when we grew up, not so much. And Owen wouldn't let happen."
"Oh yeah, I remember." Her sister in law said biting her lip, Owen was making his way over with the rest of the kids.
"Okay, who wants popcorn?" He asked Amelia and Meredith. "Okay, what's going on?"
"Zola." Meredith said simply.
"Ah, the boyfriend problem." Owen assessed. "You still don't like him?"
"You just wait until your girls date, You won't like them either." Meredith hissed at him. "Plus, I can't like him all that much,I have to do the dirty work, the dad work, I can't like him all the way.."
"If you need any help, I could..."
"Nah, I've got it..." Meredith smiled. "Now give me popcorn, I need to eat."
"Don't tell me you are nervous, he's so good in there, he'll do great." Owen said.
"It's a lot more pressure, he does good with pressure, me on the other hand? I'm not handling well, it's like it was yesterday he was being born and today, he's captain of the hockey team, that just doesn't roll well with me."
"Because of Derek?"
"Because of Derek."
"Zola! Come sit your butt down, the game's about to start!" Meredith called, sitting down
"Mom?" Ellis said next to her, her bright blue eyes sparkling.
"Yeah honey?"
"If I ever get a boyfriend, will I be like that?" Meredith smiled. Ellis was a bit of a tomboy herself, being closer in age with Bailey than Zola, but Meredith didn't have a right answer for that, she was a girl, and even though she was just turning 11, boys were way off her mind at the moment. "If I get like that? Remind me that I didn't like Zola much, okay?"
"Okay." Meredith hugged her youngest child as Zola took her seat."I will."
"Hey man, I've got what you asked me." One of the assistant coaches told Bailey as he was putting on his gear. He handed Bailey a brand new team jersey. Bailey smiled.
"Thanks, I'm hoping my mom is surprised by this." He said. "It's going to be hard getting used to, but, I feel it's just right, you know?"
Meredith was going her emails when they announced the game was about to start. Bailey was there in front row, wearing his head high and a stick she'd noticed something else too, ready to crush everyone who dared come his way and she couldn't be more proud of, even though he was mostly a sweet and shy boy, when he touched the ice, it was like he owned it. Much like Derek used to do back in the OR.
Bailey opened his eyes to the pain of a bright light. He was on the ground of what seemed like a hospital hall, he'd been around those long enough to see he wasn't somewhere else.
He stood up slowly, he was wearing his uniform so he figured this was a dream of some sort. "Hello?" He yelled at the eptiness. "Anyone there?" He moved ahead to a small room, where a man was standing by the doorway. He'd recognize that man anywhere.
"Shepherd? Can you hear me? Are you alright?" He'd been hit hard, mid- game, just pushed back agaisnt the cold, his helmet made his head bounce inside it. "Bailey?"
"Look at you kiddo, you look just like... I'm not really sure anymore." His father stood there, in front of him for the first time since he was a little boy, since that morning he'd said goodbye before settling him for breakfast.
"Is this a dream?" Was all Bailey managed to say. "Or am I dead?" Derek's gaze turned serious. "Oh man, I don't want to be dead, I haven't even.."
"You are not dead son." Derek said with a smile. "This is, a dream of sorts, if you want to call it that."
"Says the neurogod." Bailey smirked. Now that he looked at Derek other than in videos or pictures, he noticed more and more similarities between him and his father, he still took after Meredith in almost everything physically, but there was this thing that Bailey saw, the dark messy hair, the eyes, the calmness, that made him think about how everyone began saying he took more after Derek as he grew.
"Is there something on my face?" Derek asked, clearly moved by the way his son was staring.
"Ah, no sorry, it's just, other than, looking at pictures or videos of you, I don't really, remember..."
"Me?" Derek finished.
"Something funny happens sometimes, like I feel as I'm dreaming, I get this flashes, it feels so real and I want to feel like they're memories... from when I was a baby, from when you were with us."
"Who's to tell you they're not?" Derek sighed.
"Can that happen?" His son asked, his eyes widening.
"The brain is the code to humanity's many secrets, you just have to be smart enough to figure it out." Derek said. "But I'm guessing you know that by now?"
"Well, I want to be a doctor like you, study brains and save people, if I do this, maybe they'll be other kids who won't lose their father, you know?" Derek frowned. "Mom told us the real reason you died, said you were pronounced brain dead."
"Ironic." Derek said leading Bailey inside the room. "Cruel and ironic."
"Aunt Amy would have saved you." Bailey said in conviction. "I know she would have."
"Oh, I have no doubt about it..." Derek smiled. He sat down on the bed, Bailey joining him a moment later.
"Dad?" Bailey spoke softly, out of practice of the word in that context. "You believe in heaven, right?"
"I do, I was raised in that faith, even though I was mostly a man of science." He said solemnly. "I am no one to say I don't have faith in something or someone greater."
"So, maybe this is heaven? Or at least a glimpse of it?"
"Mom?" Ellis pulled on Meredith's arm. "Is.. Is that Bailey?"
"Why isn't he moving?" Zola added in, phone long forgotten. Meredith just stood still.
"Stay here, I'm going down there..." Owen said, but Meredith pulled him back. "What?"
"Zola, you are in charge, nobody moves a muscle, okay?" the girl nodded.
"Out of my way!" Meredith screeched, followed closely by Amelia and Owen. "Out!"
"Bailey, Bailey?" Owen got a hold of his face gently. "Buddy, can you hear me?"
"Hockey huh?" Derek asked with a smile. "Interesting choice."
"Mom thought I'd do me good when I started having trouble in school, she said she'd rather pay for me to hit someone than to give all my anger away for free." He reasoned.
"I know." Derek said kindly, placing a hand on his son's back. "That sounds like something she'd say." They both laughed. "She became that mom in the end huh?"
"Zola had recitals, Ellis has soccer games, she's that kind of mom, she did say she never wanted to be like my grandma." Bailey added.
"Ellis. She does look like me, I wish I could have met her, I wish I could have stayed." Bailey turned to watch his father. "I never wanted you guys to suffer the way I did, and she doesn't even know me."
"Dad, it wasn't your fault. You were just doing what you did best. Being a hero, Ellis knows that, we all do." Derek had tears in his eyes as he looked at his son. "We make sure to know you'll always be there, no matter what."
So, here's part one! I had this idea after I watched an episode of Grey's today! Hope you like it, I'm having a lot of Bailey/Derek feels right now.
Thanks for reading and don't forget, reviews make a writer happy :)