A/N: So, this is my 3rd try at EEnE fanfiction. I have a sort of fascination with Kevin and Edd, like they'd make the perfect best friends and whatnot.
So, this is what I conjured up. Although, this highlights one of the worst days I'd had this month... Just highly overexagerated.
I don't own EEnE.
The Day of Monstrosities
Kevin was not impressed. He'd had one horrible day, and it didn't seem like it wanted to lighten up.
First of all, it was his dad's birthday. That was why he woke up at 5 in the morning on a day in the holidays, to wish his father good luck. And to give his father a gift: a pair of socks that said 'I love my dad', and even though Kevin thought it was girly, Edd liked the idea.
He escorted his father to his car, so as to wave him off and be a good sport in general.
That was where things went from bad to worse.
Now, Kevin was a very particular man; it had taken him ages to figure out how to run his own car smoothly, and even freaked out when he had to drive Edd's car, despite it being the same model as Kevin's car, safe for the colour. Edd has chosen the white model, whilst Kevin went for red. The reveal of the cars they'd bought over one summer vacation had sent both teenagers into laughing fits. He had decided to listen to his best friend's advice of an anti-hijack system, an alarm and a kill switch.
His father got into the car, twisted the key in the ignition and absolutely nothing happened.
The car was as dead as a doorknob. Not even a sickly screeching sound would escape the car in an attempt to start (later they would learn that the radio had been left on all night, draining the battery).
Kevin's father wasn't a very thin man, he liked to eat, and there was no way Kevin would be able to move his father's car with the older man inside it, his muscles be darned.
"Kev, just get in the car, you're lighter than I am!" His old man yelled, and Kevin, despite his protests, complied. He felt sweat run down his back in beads, being caught by the hem of his track trousers.
He scooted onto the seat, closing the door slowly. His father's car was entirely alien to him.
"Okay, now let the emergency brake down and take the car out of gear!" His father yelled. Kevin let the brake down, and the car went down, but now matter how hard his father pushed, the car would not budge.
"Did you take the car out of gear?" He yelled. Kevin didn't, but nodded anyways, and let his hand go to the gear stick.
That was when he forgot which pedal was the clutch! He was a car guy - he liked mechanics and the technical things to do with cars, and he couldn't remember the pedal for the fucking clutch?
He toggled the gearstick half-heartedly, hoping it'd work.
Luckily someone saw their struggle and ran to help. In no time at all, the car was out on the pavement, his father jumped into the car as soon as he was out and Kevin and the new person pushed the car until it spat and gasped and finally coughed into the almighty roar. The person wished his father a happy birthday.
Kevin looked at their saviour and grinned, "Hey, Double D, thanks a lot man!"
Edd grinned his gap-toothed grin, "Not at all. You were lucky returned from my morning walk."
Kevin just shook his head, ruffling his ginger hair, "Want some coffee, dork?"
"That would be lovely, thank you, Kevin." Edd said, his voice as friendly as always, and followed the taller boy into his house.
Edd took a seat at the kitchen as Kevin flipped the switch for the kettle. Kevin sat down opposite him, and look over at Double D. Said boy was still a total dork; he studied in his free time, even in summer, and read more than could be considered healthy, but Kevin's vocabulary had improved a lot by hanging out with Edd.
Their friendship hadn't been planned, exactly, it'd been a series of random events. One day Kevin realised too late (at eight in the evening) that he had a math test (on algebra) the next day. And he had no idea how to do half of the stuff in his textbook, so he ran across the street to find Edd.
Edd had opened the door, already in pajamas, but invited Kevin in anyways after asking him to remove his shoes, directing the jock to the dining room while he got them both a glass of cold water.
That night Edd sat up with Kevin until roughly 3:30am, without even complaining about it. Edd had always been the dork with a cheery disposition, and Kevin felt awful for disrupting his sleep, but whilst Edd was exhausted, he didn't complain.
Kevin got an A after that, and he told the baseball team to lay off Edd, he was a cool kid.
He never could understand how Edd was so cheerful and helpful while he was being bullied.
Then one day, not a week later, Edd knocked on his door after school. Edd's face was a shade of red that rivalled Kevin's hair.
"Can I help you?" Kevin had asked, refraining from adding the word "dork".
"Greetings, Kevin," Double D dared a smile, "I'm afraid I'm need some help."
"Sure thing, come in," He stepped back, but Double D removed his shoes first, causing Kevin to roll his eyes.
Kevin took the boy to the kitchen, showing him to sit down. Edd nearly tripped over his own feet, Kevin noticed, and thought that he must be nervous.
"What's up?" Kevin asked.
"I need help in my physical education. I am quite fit, because I go for morning jogs and walks in the evening, but this semester the coach wants me to swim..." Edd was rambling, and Kevin held up a hand to silence him.
"And I guess you don't know how to swim?" Kevin replied. Edd nodded and his ears turned red. Kevin laughed. "No shit I'll help you."
Edd's face split into a grin, and Kevin was sure he was fighting the urge to hug Kevin.
That was how it started. But after Edd passed his class and Kevin's grades lifted, the boys continued to hang out, whether it was watching a movie (or documentary if Edd got his way) or doing homework. Kevin's grades kept rising until he hit his first A average, not just an A for a test. That was how the jock and the dork ended up as best friends.
Edd did still hang out with Ed and Eddy, but when they didn't hang out, he wandered to Kevin for companionship. Kevin vaguely wondered if he should be insulted by this, but then just threw it off, because he still spent a lot of time with Rolf and Nazz. He couldn't begrudge Edd his other friendships.
Back to the present, the two boys drank coffee in silence.
He offered Edd some breakfast, Edd accepted and Kevin pulled out a packet of spiced buffalo wings, threw them in the oven and made small talk for a few minutes.
That was when bad event number two happened. Or rather numbers two and three.
The two boys heard an eardrum CRASH from outside, and they ran outside. Kevin closed the door behind him without a second thought, it was habitual of him.
No, the crash hadn't been bad event number two, since it turned out to be that the garbage truck was unable to pick up a garbage can without sending it back to mother earth and spilling a bunch of banana peels and crushed soda cans on the sidewalk. Edd wanted to rush and help, but Kevin kept a firm hand on his shoulder and steered him back to his house.
Kevin put his hand on the knob and turned. It wouldn't turn! He tried again - it wouldn't fucking turn! The auto-lock must've been engaged, because he had locked himself out of the house.
He ran to the back door, only to find it shut firmly. He jogged to the side door, but that was closed too. He couldn't climb through any of the windows, due to the security bars.
He returned to the front door, only to find Edd and his car waiting. Edd motioned for Kevin to get in. Kevin's keys had been locked inside the house, so he couldn't full well drive his own car.
"You're honestly gonna go a town over to get the key from my mother?" Kevin lifted an eye in surprise, "We can just wait at your house until my dad gets hom." Edd shrugged.
"My parents have the money, and my allowance is more than I need on a monthly base, so we can go, but you have to drive; you know my feelings towards speed." Edd said, and Kevin agreed. Edd's house wasn't that bad, since it was mostly just Edd there, but he wouldn't say no a road trip, however tiny.
His parents had divorced a few years prior, and Kevin had elected to stay with his father, because it meant staying in Peach Creek with his friends and where he was firmly situated in the sporting teams.
He was lucky Edd got the same model, because since he had nearly sent the two of them crashing through Edd's windshield, he'd driven it a few more times and had succumbed to Edd's logic that he needn't fear. Edd loved logic, and he described himself as an empiricist. Kevin had no idea what that meant.
The next town was just 20 minutes away (if you drove under the legal speed limit), lucky for them when they later saw the third bad thing happening, because they were back in just 45 minutes (obviously Kevin hadn't been lawful that day, and the speeding ticket that Edd would get a few days later would be considered bad thing number four).
As soon as they parked, Edd grabbed the keys and opened the door, Kevin right on his heels, only to find the kitchen filled with black smoke. Kevin had totally forgotten about the breakfast...
The oven was turned off and the two boys opened every window in the house, turned on every fan and airconditioner to get rid of the smoke. Luckily the house hadn't caught fire.
Kevin was banging his head against the wall - it wasn't even 2 o' clock and his day was already ruined!
Suddenly Edd burst out laughing, his awkward, geeky laughter echoed through the halls of Kevin's home.
Kevin looked around suspiciously, because the only time Edd laughed with abundance was when someone made a scientific mistake or when something was really, really, really funny. Kevin had to admit that Edd had a very good sense of humour, and when he laughed, Kevin would find whatever it was funny too. Well, not the science bit, Kevin still had difficulty understanding what a photon was and why it had nothing to do with a photo or a phone.
Edd was standing in the living room's doorway, laughing at him, and pointing!
"Are you laughing at me, dork?" Kevin asked, his voice toneless.
"Yes, Kevin, I must admit that I am," Edd grinned guiltily, "But, you have to say, the happenings of this day is quite humourous."
"I'm gonna pound you, dork!" Kevin yelled, slamming a fist into his palm, and Edd sprinted away from Kevin, jeering at the jock.
Edd was a lot more fit than Kevin had given him credit for, because he outran Kevin for a good half hour around the cul-de-sac before he gave up. Kevin just ruffled Edd's hair.
"Come on, dork, I still owe you breakfast." Kevin laughed, his exercise had relieved his bad mood. He started walking back to his house.
"Or lunch, as we should say." Edd corrected him, falling into step next to him.
"Smart ass." Kevin quipped, and Edd stuck his tongue out at Kevin.
Kevin's day was better after that, but he would later learn a new word, "monstrosity", when Edd was describing the burnt buffalo wings in the oven, though Kevin just thought it was charcoal.
So he dubbed this day his day of monstosities. Also, Edd made him pay for the speeding ticket, bringing the day to a close at monstrosity number five.
. . .