Author(s): Ineke; better known as the pen name The Yard of Blonde Girls.
Rating: It's a little angsty and fluffy in parts, sorry, but it is rated NC-17 for slash implication. I'm not a porn writer, and I don't work for Hugh Hefner, so it's not too heavy. I think things left to the imagination are way sexier.
Disclaimer: The characters, settings, and languages used in this work are the property of the J.R.R Tolkien, and Peter Jackson and New Line Cinema, etc. The songs Mojo Pin and Lilac Wine are property of Jeff Buckley. No money is made from this in any way. The sexual nature of the characters is a work of fiction. I do not mean any harm to the actors who portray them. And lastly, I don't own any of the inhabitants of Middle-Earth, but fuck, I wish I did. My apologies go out to the fair Orlando Bloom.
Cast: (Briefly Gimli, the hobbits and Lady Arwen.) Includes Haldir, Elrond, Aragorn, and Legolas. Centric on Elrond's twin sons, Elladan and Elrohir.
Timeline: Takes place in the Third Age. (Return of the King, and yes, I'm aware Haldir was killed in battle in TTT. Let's pretend that was just...an injury. Oh, shut up. I need to have this elf in my story, damn it. The more blondes, the better. Now, where's that saucy Eómer?)
Summary: Arwen and Aragorn's wedding approaches. The twins' somewhat controversial relationship is becoming known about the kingdom. Involves lots of wine, and an uncomfortable orc trap.
Sidenote: Now and again, I use the Elvish languages of Quenya and Sindarin, (usually in Italics) just as today, we English sometimes use Latin or French words as terms of affection or ridicule. Commonly, I use heru, (Lord) melda (beloved) morion, (black one (sarcastically)) melindi, (lover) muindôr, (brother) pen-bain, (beautiful one).
Sometimes other Elvish dialects are hyphenated together with everyday vocab, or combined with the dropping of a vowel to create new words. This is mostly my own doing, but I've seen other fanfic authors do the same. Most commonly, I have a term used privately between the twins; tôrbain, as 'beautiful brother.' It's basically just evolution of language. Don't worry if you get confused. The words not explained here are shown as you go.
"A toast to you, my heru. May this day serve you well. To the health of the King!"
Glasses were raised, and an applause echoed around the chamber.
The insincerities are enough to drive anyone mad, thought Elladan. He and his twin were sat next to their sister, Arwen, and were sulking rather obviously. These sorts of celebrations always bored the twins. And being very young and flirtatious, it wasn't a help to be stuck between their sister and a revolting dwarf.
Elrohir combed his fingers though his raven hair absently, and stared around the chamber. Vast garlands of ivy hung down between bowls of exotic fruits from all over Middle-Earth. Beautiful maidens served silver goblets of wine, and equally stunning young men carried enormous plates of every sort of meat imaginable. He glanced around at the partygoers. There were the odd little hobbits, all lined up, conversing merrily with the elven beauty, Legolas. Elrohir lost himself for a moment in the sheer beauty of the elf. His long cascading blonde hair framed his high cheekbones perfectly. He almost seemed as if he were posing for an intricate portrait. His frosted blue eyes were twinkling with laughter as he joked with the young hobbit, Merry. The dwarf, Gimli, was heartily stuffing his face, and in between mouthfuls, promising 10 bottles of royal quality wine to the elf who could beat him at the night's sparring match. Everyone was having a good time. The King was in fine company tonight.
Elrohir gave an absent grunt and turned his attention back to his empty plate. He turned to face his brother, who was smiling mischievously.
"What are you so pleased about?" Elrohir asked, an air of disgust in his voice.
Elladan said nothing, and just smirked pointedly at Legolas.
Elrohir noticed, and blushed furiously.
His brother laughed, and slapped him playfully on the back. "Come now, my muindôr. Be not ashamed of your heart's desire! Legolas is a fine beauty. Now, I wonder if our Father would be interested to know of.."
"By the Valar, don't you dare! Hush!" cried Elrohir, pressing his hands over his brother's mouth.
Elladan guffawed under his brother's sweaty palm. "Relef me! I ca-ot breav!"
The hand was drawn back, and this carried on for some time. The twins were so preoccupied with each other that they continued to fool about into the King's speech.
"My people. What can such an unworthy aran say to his dearest friends? I am fortunate to have you all by my side. The hobbits, who progressed from the Shire for this, for the salvation of Middle-Earth, and also for me. I thank you deeply. My Lady Arwen, and all the elven folk.. whom I -"
"Hush your mouth, morion! I do no such thing!"
"Lies! Son of Elrond, you are unworthy of such a brother as me!"
There was a burst of laughter, and suddenly the twins realised that all eyes were upon them.
There was a sudden screech as Elrond slid his chair out from the table. He stood slowly, powerfully, and his cold eyes gazed right into Elrohir's. The elf gulped, and sunk back into his seat. Elladan followed suit.
"Please, Aragorn," Elrond called softly, in a familiar tone that settled the room. "Continue. We are all ears." With this last comment, he gave death glares to his sons. Arwen did the same, then turned her doe-like eyes back to the King.
The twins sat in silence for the rest of the evening, until, as soon as was permitted, they excused themselves from the festivities of folk-dancing and went outdoors.
The night sky was littered with stars, like a black velvet cape strewn with diamonds. A feint twist of blue swirled through it, and Elladan perched down on a rock to study it further.
"Get up, you disrespectful fool! You're sitting on a headstone!" cried Elrohir, his face smeared with disgust.
Elladan leapt from his comfortable position, and peered down at his stool. It was a rock, nothing more.
"Brother, brother, these lies will have to be repaid in blood," grinned Elladan as he threw his arm around his sibling. Laughing, they flopped down together in a bed of thick yellow grass, and each pulled a pipe from their belts.
"I believe we owe it to the King to get very drunk tonight," whispered Elrohir, lighting up for himself and Elladan.
"Very, very drunk," agreed his double.
The two laughed loudly in unison, and for that moment, it seemed as if they hadn't a care in the world.
"Sons of Elrond!" A rather annoyed voice pierced the evening sky.
"We are here are Sir, what is your will?" A rather drunken voice replied.
There was a fit of laughter coming from a nearby thicket, and Legolas knew he had found them. He approached to find the twins lying with 4 bottles of wine, twiddling their hair in their fingers whilst staring at the stars. They were still giggling furiously when he caught their attention.
"Care to explain this evening's events? First, that outburst during Arago - I mean, The King's speech, and then a disappearing act?"
Elladan laughed at the mention of his bad behaviour. "Come, Legolas. You're acting like you're linyenwa. [old] Are you so past your prime? Nonsense. We know you're just like us."
Legolas looked insulted. "By the Valar, If I were like you two, I'd be praying for my soul. I was sent by his lordship Elrond. Your father wishes me to have words with you both about your... behaviour."
Elrohir smirked and stared at the beauty before him. His eyes roamed from Legolas' leather clad foot to the nape of his neck. The raven haired elf smiled and beared his teeth in an evil way. Elladan giggled and slapped his brother playfully. "Come now, my melda. The warrior is going to be serious."
The reference of "beloved" was not lost on Legolas. He raised an eyebrow, and remembered the rumours that he had heard from elven guards. The twins were never seen apart, it was true, but had anyone actually seen them together? He didn't discard it completely. They were sly by name and likewise by nature.
"Well? Don't just stand there all evening, pen-bain. As much as I like to watch you, I have business to attend to with my brother."
This drunken slur escaped Elrohir's mouth before he could stop himself. His smooth complexion now glowed red, and he turned his face back to the night sky. Elladan was in hysterics. Legolas was stunned. The rumours were true. Elladan and Elrohir were not one to be persuaded by the female sex. It made sense, growing up as close as they did, being surrounded by male influences constantly. Being surrounded by each other. This thought made Legolas uncomfortable, so he cleared his throat and tried to sound important again.
"Lord Elrond has sent for you. He wishes you to meet him in The King's chamber. Immediately."
Elladan scrambled to his feet, and dragged his blushing brother up with him. They spent a moment pulling the grass out of their clothes and hair, and then spun around so they could wipe the soil off each other's backs. Legolas watched this action closely, and watched how gentle the elves were with each other. He felt a grumbling in his stomach, and wasn't sure what to make of it. He diverted his eyes as if he were seeing a display of affection he shouldn't, and the elves gathered themselves up to leave.
"Yondo, yondo," Elrond cooed affectionately as his Legolas lead his sons into the room. Legolas always noticed how Elrond referred to the twins as "son", and never their names. He always thought it was a form of shame, that Elladan was named after a man. Men were not to be trusted.
Legolas bowed respectfully before his lords, as Aragorn was also present. He perched in the corner of the room cross-legged, and set to rethreading his scabbard.
"My sons," boomed Elrond, disregarding the soft manner he used earlier. "Please, I pray you, explain to me your motives for the Winter."
Elladan was still obviously drunk. He swayed a little, and pushed himself back upright with the shoulder of his twin.
"Well, we were thinking - "
"Are you drunk?" Elrond cut him off. "By the Valar, what a sorry sight is this! My heart grows heavy at the thought of what awaits you on the other side."
There was a long silence, and everyone felt uncomfortable.
"Legolas," called Aragorn, after a considerable amount of time.
The blonde gracefully sprang to his feet. "Yes, my Lord?"
"Perhaps the twins need to be put to use. At the break of day, take them on horseback to the field. Teach them how to use a bow. They -"
"I beg you, we know how to use a bow," argued Elrohir, rather egotistically.
"As I said, Legolas, you are a fine warrior. Teach them how to use a bow, an axe, a sword. I care not for details. Just preoccupy them. Let these two become something useful, instead of.. well, what they are now - my pesky younger brothers."
"Yes, my Lord. As you wish."