Chapter One
Of Beer and Karaoke
~Bella POV~
Here I was, at this damned bar. Why did I even show up? Ah yes! It all came back to me now. Alice dragged me out on the joyous day; she promised that they wouldn't act like damn sappy love sick people. But hell, it was the day to celebrate love, I couldn't blame them. Valentines Day, the day for couples! Alice had Jasper, Rosalie had Emmet and Angela had Ben. Me? I thought I did, but I was wrong. There's nobody for little old clumsy Bella. Well fuck my life.
I was nothing but a tag along. I took a drag from my beer. Valentines day blues hit me hard. Sure I had guys that wanted me, but what about the one I wanted? Well I was oblivious to him, an infinitesimal spec. I didn't amount to a fucking blip on his radar. He had that strawberry blonde whore.
Jealous much?
No! She just got around.
Yes you are.
No I'm not, Just slightly envious of the man she was draped around.
My Adonis, Edward Cullen. That was the real reason I came out tonight. He was Alice's brother. And I was head over heels in love with him. No one could tell me other wise. Why? Because no one knew. Yet.
I can still remember Edward and I sitting in our favorite place, our meadow. It was a three mile hike up into the woods near my house. The size of the clearing was half of the football field at Forks high. We came there in secret. No one knew of our meetings. We would hold each other and whisper sweet nothings. I longed to look into emerald eyes and feel his smirk in our kisses. The feel of his hand as he slid them to my waist. We were meant for one another. We molded to one another. I knew I was never going to find another guy that fit me so perfectly. God how I missed his velvet smooth voice. I would do anything to hear him say 'Bella you're my life now. Nothing will ever make me leave your side.'
That was the last time he ever met me there. There were no more random notes at my locker. Fucking hell I even missed his handwriting! That stupid beautiful girl! I hated her with as much passion as I loved Edward. I couldn't even get a goodbye! No sorry but I like blondes better? No I'm into models, but it was fun while it lasted? I should have known that he would have broken my heart. Deep down I knew I would never be enough; I was plain Jane. Like I said before invisible. Hell he didn't even tell Alice about us and that is his fucking twin!
But it's not like I told pixie poo either. I felt the tears prick my eyes so I chugged the rest of my beer. The bitter luke warm liquid coated my throat, I gulped it all and winced. It still didn't numb the betrayal I felt. Who ever said that alcohol was a downer and help you escaped must not of had their heart broken by their 'soul mate.'
"Whoa Bella slow down. That's your third beer. Your gonna get wasted." Emmet's voice boomed. He slid me water, I rolled my eyes and signaled for another beer. As I eyed the waiter Edward came in and he wasn't alone. Strawberry Shortcake was with him. She was wrapped around him like a damn leech, like she was trying to suck the rest of his humanity from him. What was left of his emotions were obliterated by that succubus. And that was what she was in my eyes. He just walked and she followed. His eyes looked empty and vacant. Nothing like the eyes I'd fallen in love with; the eyes that changed colors for me. God, Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller could see he didn't even look happy! Maybe I hadn't drunk enough yet. I didn't think I could take too much more of tonight.
"Drink it sweet heart. Please for me?" Rose chimed in, damn her and that pretty smile. If I were a lesbian I would so steal her from Emmet. She stole me from my thoughts and I gave her what smile I could manage. I drunk a swig.
"See that wasn't so bad." Jasper said rubbing my back. He was like the brother I always wished for. Gotta love Jazz. He calmed me down and I didn't feel that heart-breaking feeling anymore. I felt a wave of contentment wash over me. Like my heart could and would heal. Wish I had that ability. I giggled for no reason. No I take that back. Jasper made me happy. Or was it the alcohol?
"Shit Bells your wasted! Laughing and no one has cracked a joke!" Emmet roared. He slapped the table making it shake.
"So what? I'm grown." I defended.
"I'm just saying you better be careful otherwise I'm going to have to carry you home again. Lord knows I love your entertaining ways though." He paused and then continued with "Never mind I will buy your next beer I'm trying laugh my ass off tonight." The whole table laughed as I turned tomato red. I hated how I couldn't hide my embarrassment and he had to pick at me. I loved that bat on steroids but damn him and him making fun of my clumsiness.
Alice nudged me and gave an apologetic smile. She knew I saw them come in. She knew that I was in love even though I hadn't told her what happened. I remember she found me in the meadow sobbing with everything I had left in me. She was hunting and heard me. "Oh little sugar plum. Come I will take you home." She said picking me up. The 4'11 psychic vampire tinker bell took me home. "I know your heart is broken and I have a clue who. Don't worry sweet. It will work out" Yea you were right about that one Alice. It sure did work out.
"Tonight is karaoke night ladies and gentlemen. Please feel free and come on up!" A voice called from the stage. I heard a high pitch squeal from the other end of the table. It was Tanya. When did they sit down with us? Maybe I was buzzed? She got up and picked a song. "Bet it's a white trash song, and she will butcher it." I mumbled. Of course With their 'bat' ears they heard. They howled with laughter. Hell so did I. I glanced across the table Edward glared at me. I faked scratched my face and flipped him the bird. Oh yea I was wasted. If I could do that then I knew it. And surprisingly it felt good to do it. Yay me! I had liquid courage.
"Alright I'm in on that bet. Ten bucks?" Emmet egged on. We shook. She picked 'I Love Rock N Roll' Brittney Spears style. I was handed ten bucks.
"Bet you won't get up there Bella" Alice joked.
"That is perfect! I'm on that one too!! Bella I knew you would entertain me yet!" shot Emmet. Did they not know I could actually sing. Nope they didn't! I could use a little extra cash. Alice knew though why would she do that? She must have had a vision. When I looked at her the look on her face said it all.
"I'm in too" Rose chimed.
"Well what the hell? Me too." Jasper said grabbing his wallet.
"I'm in. Bet she can't." Edward added. He had a glint in his eyes. It reminded me of when he would pick me up and slam me into a wall. 'Ah the good ole times.' I crossed my legs. He smirked at that. He remembered it to.
Just twist that knife further why don't you?! Bitch' I thought. "Your all on!" I threw down the two hundred and fifty I had in my wallet. They all matched me. I got up. Taking in half of my fourth beer. I wobbled to the book and picked a slow song. Something mama used to play. An oldie but good. Whitney Houston's "Saving all my Love"
When that dumb ditzy blonde finished she staggered toward me. "Top that."
"Plan to." was my answer.
"Bring it." She said cheerleader style. Emmet was howling at the table. If he could have cried he would of.
I walked onto stage. I 'tripped' on the last step. Damn heels I muttered. Emmet was on the floor laughing. 'He won't be laughing too much longer!' I got introduced and the music started. I waited for my cue. I didn't need the word on the screen I knew it by heart. I hummed along for until the Whitney started. Right on time every one quieted down and listened. I started off low and sweet, giving a fake falter here and there. I couldn't shame Emmet that badly at least not yet.
A few stolen moments is all that we share
You've got your family, and they need you there
Though I've tried to resist, being last on your list
But no other man's gonna do
So I'm saving all my love for you
Emmet still had that glint in his eye like he was winning his bet. I got more comfortable under their gaze. I knew that he was watching too. I licked my lips and continued.
It's not very easy, living all alone
My friends try and tell me, find a man of my own
But each time I try, I just break down and cry
Cause I'd rather be home feeling blue
So I'm saving all my love for you
My voice didn't crack. I smirked and went higher. I danced a little on the stage. Swaying my hips. I ran my hands through my hair; teasing Edward. He said it used to drive him crazy because it brought my scent closer, teasing and taunting him. I thought of that day, when Tanya came into the picture. He was supposed to come over; Charlie was stuck in La Push. Something had gone wrong with his cruiser, so Jacob was working on it. That was the night I planned on giving myself; giving all my love to him. I was saving all my love for him. When he didn't show up I figured he went on an extra long hunt and came in late. When I woke up he wasn't there. Something was wrong. I looked for my lock box. It contained pictures of me and him; ones of us in the meadow. They were gone. I screamed, I shattered into a million pieces. When I went to school that day I had to know why.
You used to tell me we'd run away together
Love gives you the right to be free
You said be patient, just wait a little longer
But that's just an old fantasy
And I got my answer. Oh how I remembered the broken promises. When I went to slip a note in his locker I saw him and her. She was pressed up against him. They were locked in a tight embrace. The ones he and I used to share in our meadow. He was kissing her. How my heart tore. It was like he was purposely doing it. Hell he might as well have sucked me dry there. I didn't want to live any longer. I seriously contemplated cutting my self just so he would attack me and I could die. I knew he could see the pain in my eyes. He just looked away; that coward. That was the last time I saw him in high school.
I sung my high notes. I could tell my voice was going to crack soon. My tears were going to fall. I couldn't fight the inevitable. Resistance is futile. I thought dryly. I shouldn't have picked this song. It ripped open the half healed wounds of my heart. Fucking Miller Lite! Doesn't do shit!!! Im'a sue for false advertisement. I knew that I had to make the best of it. I looked to Jasper for support. He smiled and instantly he filled me with pride. I should market Jasper! He was all the liquid courage I needed! I'd be a millionare! I could finally get Alice that yellow sports car she dreamt of.
I looked at Emmet. Boy did he look mad. He grumbled something to Rose and she just continued to watch me. Alice nodded toward Edward. His eyes, they looked like they were trying to stare into my soul. He was trying to read my thoughts. And he couldn't. What was that? Frustration, anger, confusion, happiness? There was something there. I didn't know what it was. That gave me courage. I looked directly into his eyes.
I've got to get ready, just a few minutes more
Gonna get that old feeling when you walk through that door
Cause tonight is the night, for feeling alright
We'll be making love the whole night through
So I'm saving all my love
Yes I'm saving all my love
Yes I'm saving all my love for you
I was singing to him, calling to his soul just like he did to mine. He used to call me his la tua cantante; his personal singer. My blood smelled so enticing to him it sung to him. I wished it was my heart that sung to him, then he would know that I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. All of him. He would always have the key to my heart mind, body and soul. And it was a shame, he didn't even want it. That rude beautiful mother fucker, he could at least give it back to me! He knew he had stolen my heart. Why steal something when you obviously didn't want it. Still I belted out my last lines. He needed to know I was serious. I glared at the airhead next to him. My next few lines were meant for her to get it. Just cuz she was with him didn't mean she could give him what I could.
No other woman, is gonna love you more
Cause tonight is the night, that I'm feeling alright
We'll be making love the whole night through
So I'm saving all my love
Yeah I'm saving all my lovin
Yes I'm saving all my love for you
For you, for you
Tanya was pissed! She looked like she was going to suck me dry, or snap my neck. I out did her. Beat that whore! I walked back to the table and was greeted by cheers and whoots. I gathered my things in a rushed fashion, Jasper watched desperately trying to calm me down, but the hole in my heart was too big for the false sense of fulfillment this time. I was going to break down at any moment. Thank God my bangs were covering my eyes. I didn't answer them as they called me to come back. I walked out of the bar tears flowing freely. At least I didn't cry in front of him. He didn't need to know that he broke me. Not even Jacob would be able to stitch me up. I hailed a cab.
"Don't go sweetie! Hell Bells I know your hurting but please for the love of all that tastes good! Don't Go!" Alice yelled. Damn that psychic, know it all pixie vampire! Those damn visions sucked. Then my rage consumed me.
"You knew that I was going to be in pain tonight why drag me? God Damnit!" I roared at her. I stumbled when I whirled around at her. Yea those beers were in full effect.
"Honey sometimes you have to hurt a little bit. I can guarantee that if you come back inside all you fears, doubts and pain will be gone." She cooed rubbing my back. I hugged her lithe frame and sobbed. I loved my marble pixie. She knew how to calm me just like my multi-million-dollar brother. I nodded and she brought me back in. I went to the table.
The blonde she devil man stealing whore was gone. Edward was looking through the song selections. He wanted to sing? He can sing? I heard the beat start to a Black Eye Peas song. My jaw drop in Emmet and Jasper were on stage. "Dear god they are not singing!" I laughed. Something about them singing 'My Lady Humps' cracked me up. As they came back to the table I heard Edwards voice. "This is for my La Tua Cantante." I gasped and felt the stinging of tears.