I Wanna' Be An Alchemist

Chapter One

Kool Aid Lindy, Kool Aid

CherryBlossomedHeart

(A/N) I just finished "Envy's Random Day Of Evil" and I was thinking whether or not I'd like to write a oneshot. I decided...No, no more oneshots for awhile because I like chapters. However "The Ones You Leave Behind" and "The Ones You Love" were both serious stories, I'm a fairly serious person... until I'm with my friends. This trail of thinking reminded be of the adventurous comedy fic I wrote for my friends at school, who normally read daily additions to the story, and the plot was genuine, and it just so happens that it was about alchemy. So I tweaked the story a bit and I'm adding Ed, Al, Winry, Roy, and Riza... along with two OC's... One of them is my friend Lindy and the other is me. This story is based after Ed get's Al's body back, Winry and Ed have something going on plus Roy and Riza do too (they aren't married in this fic, no real coupleness more or less fluffiness). Please enjoy and review.

Disclaimer:

Timmy: It's that time again Cherry

Cherry:D What time?

Timmy: You know, when you say 'I don't own FMA'.

Cherry: I don't have to.

Timmy: :( WHY NOT.

Cherry: You just did!

Timmy:

Okay, so maybe being an alchemist isn't as easy as it sounds, I mean common? Human transmutation a no no? I think Lindy and myself have gotten ourselves into some serious shit right now... You know because my leg just disintegrated and Lindy's coughing blood, but hey? it was successful was it not...?

"Oh. My. GOD!!" screamed Lindy. I guess I was wrong.

I stared blankly at the 'thing' we created. "That definitely isn't Matty... (A/N Matty is a childhood friend of mine, he's not dead just important)"

The 'thing' moved as the two of us squealed in horror. "YEP! That SO isn't Matty, last time I checked, Matty's rib cage had skin on it..."

I gasped.. "Uh Lindy?"

"Yeah?"

I looked down at my bloodied leg. "I'm losing blood, and I'm quite sure gangrene may become a factor in this swell adventure of ours."

Lindy coughed, unnoticing the blood spilling over her lips, she smiled. "Sure let's get you to a hospital?"

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You just coughed...uh never mind," I sighed, what was the point?

Lindy stood as did I, only I fell... for I only had one leg. Lindy looked over my crippled self. "Poor Natasha, at the mercy of her dear friend Lindy..."

I threw my shoe at the blood-coughing fool. "Help me up dammit!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Winry was tinkering away at some old auto-mail parts. With passion such as hers, auto-mail was also a pastime rather then just a job. I guess she never guessed that us two would show up. I mean we had been living next to the Elrics/Rockbells for two freaking years, but what the hey? I still think she'd never guess. Ed as usual was in the living room... checking out his newly found flesh arm and leg... oh yeah he was a real cocky person, always checking himself out, Al on the other hand was petting a kitty... like he normally did. How do I know all this, it's because Lindy and I secretly stalk the family.

We knocked on the door, no answer, we knocked again, no answer. Lindy kicked the door... wrong house...

We went to their real house and knocked, soon enough Winry, wearing a tube top..AGAIN (during winter might I add), opened the door and gasped, then screamed, the yelled for the Elric brothers. I sighed, it was beginning to sound a lot like a crappy spinoff of a show and or manga.

With Ed's strong and determined entrance, eyes tormented by demons of his past blah blah blah and Al behind looking as though his (unfortunate) virgin eyes were scorching to death. Lindy dropped me and I cursed a few censored words at the bitch as Winry knelt by my side and asked Alphonse to carry me into the living room (hell yeah, sexy anime boys to the rescue of Tasha while Lindy is left with regret tehe).

Winry went to get bandages, I realized why would I need to go to a hospital when I had a perfectly suited doctor slash mechanic by my side. Somehow in real life a mechanic who's also a certified doctor seems... well a little screwy, in fact I might as well have gangrene already. Lindy sat by my side, coughing blood...again, she didn't seem to notice. Meh, why tell her now? Edward glared at us.

Lindy got defensive. "Like you haven't tried it!?" Ed looked away sorrowfully. (Eeemmmoooo)

Alphonse, who was abnormally chipper for a child who grew up without his father, saw his mother die, tried to bring her back VERY unsuccessfully, and was stuck in a giant suit of armor for about four or five years; anyways, he came into the room a started cleaning the blood from Lindy's lips... NO FAIR, I mean she didn't even know she was bleeding internally! Why did she get to have her face washed by Alphonse, I mean COMMON'? Ed has Winry, Roy has Riza (and Ed on weekends, I think :P) Lindy has Alphonse... whom does Tasha get?! ENVY?! I mean I'm desperate, but not THAT desperate... then again... Ling... no wait he has Ranfan... hm...? As I pondered the several anime characters who were single, Lindy and Al started having one of those FMA moments. You know when the Russian music starts up and they talk about their feelings.

Winry finally came back into the room with bandages and what I hoped was painkillers or dope... whichever made me forget the ever so pleasant pain in my stub, that once was a leg. Nope, it was rubbing alcohol... it burned, like hot knives. But what the hell? I fainted after that so who gives a damn what burns and what doesn't, I mean I just lost my leg, can anything get any worse?

Suddenly right before I passed out. "Me and Ed are engaged!" Fuck!

(A/N) Yeah XD It's short like Ed, but I thought it was funny, despite all the curse word it's my latest funny story. I'm writing this more or less for Lindy because she LOVES FMA and me of course! Lmao, a lot of you should check out my profile, it has lot's of story's about Lindy.

Anyways I must leave for now,

Next chapter will be up sooner or later.

CherryBlossomedHeart