WARNING: this chapter contains incredibly mild hints on USUK if you squint.

(or if you have a mind like me!)

The 2012 Elections.

A huge event for America.

And for Alfred. F. Jones, the personification of America himself.

"Oh man, I'm so stoked!" he exclaimed to Tony as they sat in the large house. "These elections are gonna be awesome, I just know it!"

Tony nodded in agreement and ate a few burgers from the massive multi-million stack between them. America joined his friend in eating until he, for once in his existence, decided to stop.

"…Tony. I've just stopped eating burgers for what is quite possibly the first time ever. Do you realize what this means?"

Tony shook his head.

"I need to go tell Japan NOW. He'll be so proud of me!"

Not waiting for his alien friend's response, the blonde hopped up and over to the phone where he dialed his good friend Japan's number.

"Hey, hey, Japan!" America yelled into the phone as soon as it was picked up.

"O-Oh, herro Mr. America," Japan greeted.

"Ohmygosh you'll never guess what just happened!"

"You finarry repaid your debt to China and myserf?"

"Even better! I stopped eating hamburgers for the first time in like… EVER!"

"Mr. America, that is trury wonderfur news! I never thought I wourd rive to see it happen!"

"Yeah, I guess I am pretty awesome, huh?"

"…Of course."

"Also, the 2012 elections are coming up and I am soooooo stoked, dude! They're gonna be totally awesome!"

"Oh, are they coming up so soon arready?"

"Duh! Japan, man, you need to get with the program, you get what I'm sayin'?"

"…No, no I do not."

"I knew you would! So who are you gonna vote for?"

"M-Mr. America, I am not American… I cannot vote."

"Aww dude that sucks… and it takes like a billion years to become a citizen… and you have to learn more about me than I know about me! How stupid is that?"

"…Um…"

"Anyway, so what's been up with you?"

After nearly two hours of poor, torturous conversation, Japan decided he just couldn't stand it anymore.

"A-America, I rearry need to go now… my boss is carring for me…" he said nervously.

"Ah, really? That sucks. I'll talk to you later then! Oh, also, could you tell England about my non-burger-eating-ness and stuff and my election? He hasn't been picking up my calls lately… weird huh? Bye!"

And America had hung up before Japan could agree or disagree to pass the news along to the European island nation.

~*later*~

"Yes?" England said as he picked up the phone.

"Herro, Mr. Engrand, it is Japan," the Japanese man greeted politely.

"Oh, Japan, how nice of you to call! I was just wondering how you were doing."

"I am werr, thank you. And yourserf?"

A sigh was heard. "That blasted American git has been wearing me out to the bone… I've been refusing to answer his calls; I just need a break!"

Little did Japan know that the real reason for England's lack of communication with America was due to him being very tired of having a very sore arse.

"Oh, I see… I am sorry to hear that…"

"Yes, quite sad… so, not to sound rude, but was there a reason you called?"

"O-Oh, yes! America wanted me to pass along some very big news."

"Oh, god… what is it this time?"

"W-Werr, this apparentry isn't the biggest part of the news, but… he stopped eating hamburgers… temporariry, of course."

England couldn't believe his ears. "A-Are you serious, Japan?"

"Hai, I am. He just carred me to terr me. I courd not berieve it myserf."

"That… that's amazing! What could be bigger than that?"

"America's erection, apparently."

"…Pardon?"

AWESOME, RIGHT?

/shot

thanks to some random user on DeviantART's signature for this idea! And thanks to Beyond Unique Light for the title idea!

(a lot of the ideas come from my friends, so thanks guys!)

oh USUK... my OTP... how I love you so~

(but there will DEFINETELY be more pairings!)

other pairings may/will include...

FrUK, USCan, PoLiet, RoChu, Franada, GerIta, Spamano, PruAus, etc. etc.