The Very Secret Diary of Virgo White

by Bookworm-of-Ravenclaw

Virgo White is not your ordinary average muggleborn witch. Maybe her life will be more spiced up with a certain Mr. Sirius Black. This a collection of diary entries of Virgo's sixth year at Hogwarts, which also includes Lily Evans, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Alice and Frank Longbottom, and several professors.

1. My Name Is Not to be made fun of!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor the magnificent characters, which all belong to the marvelous and talented JK Rowling.

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Chapter One: My Name is not to be Made fun of!

Revlium Thoughtatium Quatiatius Notebookats Follocundus Diaranius!

Testing, Testing.

I had to make sure this spell actually worked. Knowing my luck, it is wonky.

Anyway, my amazingly best friend at the moment, aka the library, helped me locate this amazing spell, which was hidden in some small book in the very back row of the library.

It is so cool because it is recording my thoughts in the diary as I think this. Merlin's saggy shorts, it looks just like my handwriting.

This is bloody amazing!

I love Sheppard's pie!

I once cheated on a quiz for Flitwick.

I hate owls because they hate me. (Seriously, they attack me every time I walk into the Owl's Tower!)

I love chocolate frogs. (Yummy, I can taste the frog leg down my throat.)

Wait. I almost forgot.

CLOSE MY DIARY, YOU WRETCHED FOOL, BEFORE I HEX YOU INTO AN OBLIVION! TRUST ME I WILL FIND YOU, HUNT YOU DOWN, AND I WILL HEX YOU INTO THE NEXT CENTURY! ALSO, I WILL SIC PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE ON YOUR SORRY ARSE! BELIEVE ME, I WILL!

Reminder for me: research privacy spells.

Oh, sorry.

My point...

Dear stupid-piece-of-junky-paper-that-is-a-waste-of-my-precious-space-however-the-adoptive–mother-did-buy-this-me-however-she-did-think-it-would-be-a-great-idea-to-get-my-thoughts-and-feelings-down-on-paper-but-I-think-it-is-pointless,

I hate Slytherins! I am going to kill them and feed them to the Giant Squid. You know what, screw them! They are jealous because they don't have an amazing name just like mine! Okay, please don't start laughing, Diary.

I am particularly fond of my name.

HAHAHAHAHA! I just pulled a funny!

My name is...

...can't tell you then I would have to kill you...

...Still ain't...

...Not going to crack under pressure!...

It's Virgo Harmony Crispina Ginger White.

Fine! You win, you stupid diary!

Sorry, Diary, that was cruel. I shouldn't have called you stupid.

But in the meantime, Mwahahahahaha! That means I get to kill you. Hehe.

Anyway.

Insert a dramatic eye roll for my lameness.

I do hate my name.

Virgo? Honestly, was my parents on some hardcore drugs? My parents loved astronomy, so they told me I needed a name to befit a beautiful constellation. It means the virgin, even though I am one, but that isn't even the point to my rant. It is such an awful name for a young girl to endure, and that is my bloody point! You try walking around grade school with people snickering into their hands because my lunatic parents named me Virgo. The only thing that Virgo fits is that it belongs in the Earth element which represents my house, Hufflepuff.

Harmony means "beautiful blending." HAHAHAHA! Me, beautiful? The day I become known as a beautiful maiden is the day I confess my undying love for Severus Snape. Haha, I crack myself up sometimes! Ew, who would want to touch that greasy haired Slytherin affectionately!? (SHUDDER!) Despite the name-meaning, mummy told me, "I named you Harmony because it was my sister's favorite practice in music." I think she said? I was not paying attention because I was too busy staring at Aunt Clara horrible rendition of "Silent Night" at the Christmas Drunken Disaster of 1968.

Crispina fits me because it means "curly headed," which I do possess a head full of outrageously and uncontrollable amount of curls. Also, I was named after Great Uncle Crispin, who was notorious for being a petty thief when he was super drunk.

Ginger also suits me because it means "reddish-brown hair," which I have thanks to my father. I have also tried to erase the memory of Great Aunt Fiona telling me that Granny Cate she added the name Ginger after ginger beer onto my birth certificate because she was completely shit faced and does not remember adding it.

White is the only normal name I got and it is a color! It means "pale complexion," which I do have pale skin. The White family hails from Northern Ireland, where my dad's neglectful and alcoholic family hails from. And it can stand for White magic, which I do.

Honoria Evergreen, a famous arithmancer and diviner from the sixteenth century, once said, "The name is the pathway to your soul."

Or some rubbish like that. Like I paid attention in class to listen about some old chick whining about some boring crap.

Bloody hell! I totally got off topic! I was talking about killing Slytherins then to my wretched name!

Sorry, Diary, you will come to learn that I have the attention span of a bloody three year old.

I really need to work on that because it does get me in awkward positions. (Gross, Diary, get that thought out of your dirty paged-mind.)

Like one time, my adoptive mum was talking to me about this really boring historical essay published in some ancient magazine. It was to the point that I was almost falling asleep because I really did not care, then the next minute I am dancing with this god-awful looking guy while getting my toes stepped all over before he clumsily spilt his firewhiskey all over my new dress.

Merlin, I did it again!

So the point of that stupid rant, which holds no value of importance, comes down to my ex best friend, Jackie Nott, who is a back stabbing wench that needs to keep her big glob closed! As expected from her family name, Jackie was finally trusted into the world of the elite society of purebloods, an indicator of her being associated with loyal followers of You-Know-Who. She finally came to terms to their bigot views of muggleborns and muggles, which is murdering them so they do not mix blood with purebloods or something like that. Honestly, I do not want to understand their philosophical standpoint on muggles because I do not want to know how a crazy person's mind works, thank you very much.

Here is the fascinating tale of the ending of a six year friendship (note my bitterness).

"You're just jealous that Sirius Black has an interest in me!" the bitch yelled, catching the attention of everyone sitting in the Great Hall. Yay, freaking, yay.

Frankly, Black hates Slytherins! It won't last a bloody hour! He is just gonna fuck and dump her like he does everyone girl he gets involved with.

I am not jealous that he is interested in her! However, he does have nice black hair and gorgeous grey eyes.

I rolled my eyes at myself. I will never be another victim of his.

"Pur-lease! Me, jealous of having a sex craved animal that only wanting to get into my pants!?" I shrieked at her.

Secretly I was jealous. Not of him! Never of him! She was the beautiful blond, tall, and gorgeous one, who captured the attention while I was always casted in the shadows.

"I am just watching out for you, Jacklyn Nott! When he breaks your heart, don't come running to me because he will shag and dump you!"

She looked at me with rage that for a minute I thought she was gonna pull a Crucio on me, which would probably hurt like hell. I really do not want that though roaming in my sensitive mind.

"Fine! I won't, Ms. Jealous. I never want to talk to you again, mudblood," she bellowed at me.

I felt as if I was hit in the face like my own personal Crucio hit me.

I hid my tears in my eyes, crossed my arms, and glared at her.

"I only became your friend because I felt sorry that you are a loner, Virgo Harmony Crispina Ginger White! Never talk to me again, mudblood," she hissed.

Oh hell no! That Slytherin didn't just say my whole effin name for everyone to hear!

Then, I hexed her and got five detentions. Then, I ran away to the library, where I am sitting in a desk in the back, getting my disgruntled thoughts on you, recycled paper, while crying my eyes out.

Why? Because I thought my bes-ex best friend was different. We have been together through the thick and the thin. We had six years of a beautiful friendship.

It hurts what she said. It will always sting.

I am alone now.

My parents died, leaving me alone with no true immediate family. I would rather live in an orphanage than live with my father's alcoholic family, who produce more children they can handle nor would I live (not to mention survive) with the Cavendish family, whom my mother was born into, who are a stuck-up rich family with their fancy titles and fancy parties. Since neither sides of my family wanted to take guardianship of me, I was thrown into the magical foster care.

My third house is where I found a family and they adopted me. However, apart of the adoption is agreement that I must visit both my mum's and dad's side of the family for a week each summer. Normally, I spend Christmas Eve with the White family and New Year's Eve with the Cavendishes.

I love my adopted family. I really do, but it's not the same. Despite my birth parent's aggravating and eccentirc ways, I loved them dearly and I still do.

My adoptive parents are very loving and attentive parents.

At twenty, Mary Potter learned she was barren. Her fiancé Joshua Hannah, six years older than her, continued to love her and wished to marry her anyway. Despite the disapproval of his parents, who were bigoted purebloods that wanted the family name to be continued, Josh did in fact marry Mary. They decided to focus on their careers as aurors while also fostering the occasional child.

By the time he reached eighty-six, Joshua Hannah made a name for himself as the Head Auror by his frightening dueling capabilities, cunning tactics, and intelligent mindset while fighting against the Dark Arts and the Dark Lord. The name, Mary Hannah, is equally spoken with respect and awe as her husband's name. She was one of the best Aurors of her time with her amazing dueling skills and clever strategies that led into man victories.

Despite being a retiree and seventy-eight at the time, Mary single-handedly brought down by either killing, crippling, or seriously injuring twenty-two Death Eaters before officials arrived on the scene. The Lonesome Combat of Bath, the legendary name befitting her legacy, is the story of how Mary was awarded the Merlin, First Class for her courageous efforts against the Dark Lord.

By the way, when I was in my second year of Hogwarts, my parents died by some random Death Eaters during some random hunt in London. I hate You-Know-Who!

Anyway, I hate thinking about my parent's untimely death. It feels me with sorrow.

Wiping my tears on the back of my hand, I sniffled and groaned.

Diary, I really hate you right now. You can't help me.

Evil book.

Get that look off your rutting leather-covered face! And stop giving me that Voldermortish laugh. This ain't funny!

My dear sweet, Helga Hufflepuff, I am scolding a damn book!

I really need to break something. (My nervous tick is to snap owl quills.)

Did it!

I just got ink everywhere. Damn it!

Today is not a good day! First, being called Mudblood, then Jackie being my new sworn enemy, then getting ink on bloody stuff!

The worst part is that I have no one to vent to. (Except stupid-know-it-all James.)

Slytherins hate me. I really cannot just walk up to a male Slytherin and be like, "Hello, just because I am a mudblood does not mean I can't appreciate a fine arse such as yours." I have tried it once on Thaddeus Greengrass. Lets just say he was rewarded with a week's worth of detention.

Ravenclaws only talk to smart people (ruling me out). You would have to pull out a sodding dictionary to keep up with them. In Astronomy class, we were assigned to search for several constellations. I tried to listen to the Ravenclaw group beside me to gather some helpful hints. All I heard was, "Blah blah blah, telescope...blah blah blah...constellation...blah blah blah..." It is no wonder that I received a Dreadful for Astronomy on my OWLs.

Gryffindors probably don't even notice this pale-and-freckled skinned, auburn-haired, slightly pointed nose, curly-headed, blue-eyed, short (I'm talking five feet. Half of the bloody first years are taller than me!), somewhat plump, and dotty girl that has a temper that can land you in the Hospital Wing!

Hilary Huygens still won't forgive me when I accidently exploded a cauldron full of Forgetful Potion all over her because I was really pissed at Sirius Black for pinching my bum. She scurries off when I walk by her.

My own house hates me!

I didn't mean to trip the bloody seeker.

I lost our bloody chance at winning the Quidditch Cup in our third year. Third year! That was three years ago!

Sorry, that I am a klutz— I am proud of it!

Except that one time I turned the hallway into a bunch of falling dominos. Not a pretty site. My finger will never work again after cleaning hundreds of cauldrons. My poor ears will never hear right from the harsh scolding I received from Minnie, aka Professor McGonagall.

Merlin! I did it again. Back to the point.

Hufflepuff hates me because of that stupid seeker. You would think they are sweet, loyal, and understanding but they are back stabbing people also. People tend to forget that fact.

Like we had a chance anyway, we were up against Gryffindor! Not my fault the seeker was such a sissy. He didn't want to take the bloody potion. It was "gross" and tasted like "dragon piss." Thanks to you, seeker, everyone hates my bloody guts.

*Clears throat nervously.*

There might've been that one time I embarrassed the entire Hufflepuff House by asking our Head when her baby is due right before the Closing Ceremony in front of everyone in the Great Hall. Turns out, Professor Rosehaven is a male that just happens to have feminine characteristics and a large gut.

And that is how I lost five hundred points before the announcement was made. Did I mention we were for sure going to win the Cup House?

Also, did I mention that Professor Rosehaven threw a tizzy fit in the Great Hall? He screamed how much he hated children and their foolish minds. He had to be escorted out by the DADA professor and the school healer to be calmed down.

I will never forget the scolding look I received from Professor McGonagall. At least, Professor Dumbledore showed some humor by offering his remaining lemon drops, which I whole-heartedly ate.

I returned my glare to any book I saw, which is a lot of books considering this is a library. Well, dur! What else would be in a library? Strippers?

I glance around the room to see, I swear, thirty Ravenclaws. Seriously, get out of the damn library. They practically sleep, dream, and live in a library. They would probably marry a book. It would have to be a very productive book filled with useful spells and correct grammatical sentences.

I don't know how I am keeping a straight face.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So glad the Sorting Hat didn't place me there. I would beg to go home.

I screamed, earning a glare from Madam Pince. Excuse me, Ms. I-love-my-books-to-damn-much. Someone just tapped me in the back and freaked me out.

The girl sits down in front of me. She has long dark, straight red hair with kind green eyes. I immediately recognize her as Lily Evans, a fellow sixth year but a Gryffindor.

"Sorry, I scared you," she apologized. Why is she is sitting with me? The poor, lonely Hufflepuff.

"I know how it feels when your best friend turns on calls you a mudblood."

Damn, jump to the point. Hehehe that would be funny—

"Virgo? You okay? You look a little peaky." And she gives me this sympathetic look and I began to vent. Get ready to hear a long frustrated monologue.

"No, I am not okay, Lily. I just lost my best friend, my confidant, and my only friend. Jackie and I were together through the thick and thin. We cursed anyone for making fun of a Hufflepuff/Slytherin friendship. I will never forgive her. I will never forget her cruel and harsh words! She hit below the belt by calling me a mudblood. Merlin's striped boxers, I am going to grow all alone with fifty cats! I will have Sophie, my loyal kitty. Please just save me for my pathetic future and use the killing curse on me. I am just an eccentric, feeble, useless, batty, and worthless mudblood." I spit out, my chest heaving.

Helga, that feels better to get off my chest.

I could, of course, vent to you, Diary—I mean—Journal, but then I would likely go around bloody Hogwarts stabbing people to death. Being sent to Azkaban sounds appalling, which I really don't want to that scary place.

I did not even notice I was crying again until Lily sat beside me to wipe my tears away.

"You are not worthless. Hey, if you a worthless mudblood then I am right with you, Virgo," she replied.

Her comment made me perk up because Lily is muggle-born, just like me, and Lily is the brightest witch in our grade.

"You know what, Lily. I am not going to cry anymore. I am done boohooing like a little baby. She is a pure evil Slytherin, and she is not worth my tears. I am going back in the hall and look unnerved," I said.

Standing up, determined stubbornness ran through me veins. For once, I sounded Irish. Where do I get this stuff? Classic.

"That is right, Virgo! You are going to sit with me and Alice—"

Alice Fawley, aka her friend, a seventh year Gryffindor. Nice girl.

"We are going to have a smashing fun time."

We exited the library, both looking as if Christmas came early.

Walking through the halls, Lily hurriedly did a charm that reduced the redness in my ears and cleared the blotchiness in my cheeks.

"It looks like you haven't cried," she reassured.

She fixed my hair by taking it out of my usual messy bun by transforming my auburn hair into loose curls. It looks hot, if I do say so, I admired the new 'do in a passing mirror.

"I love your name by the way," she commented boldly.

I glared at her. She laughed. Hey! That is not funny!

"I really do! It fits you. Virgo means virgin, which I am guessing you are."

She has me there.

"And it is an earth element. Considering your House represents the earth element, which stand for loyalty and inflexible vocation. Also, it fits you because you are obstinate and sort of covetous."

What!? Where is that bloody dictionary? These are the desperate times I wished I had the brain of a Ravenclaw.

"Crispina and Ginger fits because of your striking curly, auburn hair."

Got me again.

It took me minutes to process what she even said. Damn, this girl is a walking and talking dictionary/encyclopedia. She uses big words like a Ravenclaw! Oh my Merlin, it is a Ravenclaw. Maybe the slime bag is under the Polyjuice Potion.

Help! It's effecting me! Help!

I have never even remembered that potion from class.

How the hell did I make an Exceeds Expectation on the Potions proportion of the OWL? It will always be deemed a mystery to me.

I slammed the fake Lily against the wall. She gave me an unimpressed look.

"Tell me where Lily Evans is, you Ravenclaw," I demanded.

"It's me, Virgo. I am Lily Evans," she said. She-the fake Lily- didn't find this at all funny judging by the unamused expression on her face.

"Then tell me what she told me in third year when I accidently fell on her." I glared at the fake Lily.

"'Watch it, Virgo, before you land yourself in the hospital wing, again," she recited rather indifferently. I let go of her.

"Sorry about that. You were talking like a Ravenclaw. I had to make sure," I laughed awkwardly while sheepishly rubbing my cheek.

"That was bloody hilarious. Loyal, you are." Lily said, laughing her pretty little head off.

"Ha ha ha, make fun of the ditzy Hufflepuff."

I began to join her by laughing hysterically.

"You are a one of a kind, Virgo White," she told me sincerely.

"I have been told," I muttered under my breath. It doesn't bother me to be unique. I would rather be abnormal then some Mary Sue. I began to snort in laughter, ignoring Lily's confused face.

We entered the Great Hall with many people's attention on us. Ignoring it, we sat beside Alice.

"Hello, Alice." I guess I interrupted them talking because their heads were turned in my direction. I wouldn't know because I was thinking. I thought smugly.

"Hey, Virgo. Lily told me of the Ravenclaw incident," she laughed so hard people were throwing us looks of disgust because of her obnoxious and loud laugh.

"What!?" I yelled indignantly.

"Bloody hell, you two are going to hold this against me for the rest of my life. When you visit, don't step on Sophie's tail."

At that, Lily collapsed into laughter.

"We are not letting you go. You're hilarious! You are stuck with us, Virgo!" Alice cried, wiping her tears out of her face. She pushed back her dark brown hair out of her beautiful brown eyes.

I have nowhere to go. I thought sadly, but smiled to humor them.

My breath stopped when I saw Jeremy Jackson, the Quidditch Captain of the Ravenclaw team, walk into the Great Hall. Sigh. He is so dreamy. I fancy him, all right.

Though average height and bulky, he is gorgeous with shaggy blonde hair that falls into his shining green apple colored eyes.

He is walking over here!

Merlin, what do I do?

Smile? Wave? Wink?! Flirt?! Throw myself at you?! Sing?! Blush?!-

"Thanks again, Lily, for the notes." Hottie McHotterson said. He is so fine! With a capital F. Hahaha, in grade school that was a...

"Hey, you're the girl with all the names," Hottie said what!

Great, I am known for having eighty bloody names.

"Tahatttsd ememe hskhur jshfeni..."

Why am I talking like that? Come on Virgo, your making Peter Pettigrew look like a God.

"I am Jeremy Jackson, by the way," he said, giving me an odd look I have received so many times before that it is not funny.

He politely stuck out his hand.

Here is the moment where I know if Jeremy is my soul mate. Ready up, Jeremy, for this girl because you're in for a hell of a ride.

I mentally prepared myself for the tingles.

I began to shake his hand.

Nothing. Notta. Zip. Zeppy. Zippero. Not bloody nothing!

I roughly shook his hand.

What the hell!?

"Virgo. Nice to meet you," I muttered courteously, dropping his hand and turning around so my back faced him.

"Bye, ladies."

He, the guy I thought was my future, walked away.

Bloody hell, I fancied the sodding pants out of him. And not even a tingle or jolt went up my arm.

I give up on love!

"Ahhh!" I screamed. "I freaking hate life!"

I got many strange looks but I was ignorant to their narrow-mindedness right now.

As a child, Mum told me I would know the one because I would get the butterflies, tingles, and feel the attraction. None of that happened!

I began to pound my head on the table.

"Let me guess, he wasn't the one." Lily said, her eyes looking at me sympathetically. "I got the same speech as a child."

"Bloody sucks. Oh, there's Frank—bye." Alice says, getting up to meet her boyfriend.

"Lucky optimist," Lily and I voiced our thoughts out loud before smiling at each other.

Lily continued, "I wish I had my Frank."

"Me too," I agreed. "Look, James Potter is staring at you. Again."

Lily rolled her eyes, looking at her nails.

And to be correct James Potter, who is in irrevocably in love with my lovely Lily, constantly stares at her with such ardor that it's really creepy.

I know she likes him but her stubbornness and pride is in the bloody way.

I predict that next year is the year for their epic romance that they will one day tell their children.

James and I know each other because my adoptive mother is Mr. Potter's aunt. So we basically became really good friends because we are constantly at Potter Hall as Mary loves her favorite nephew.

James and Sirius—wait a bloody second, I hit my arm to make sure it wasn't a bloody dream—sat down at the table with their causal arrogance lingering in the air. My eyes avoid looking at Sirius because I really do not want to deal with that arrogant, good-for-nothing, son of a bitch right now because I will murder him and be sent to the scary place of hell. Remus sits down only to immediately converse with Lily about an essay that is due in two weeks' time. Nerds, honestly. They could have been sorted into Ravenclaw, but how could I forget that the wizards and witches whose heart dwells with bravery are sorted into Gryffindor.

"Virgo, I told you about her." James said, concern showing on his face. His hand rumples through his untidy black hair and his hazel eyes shine with sadness.

Aw, he is such a cutie pie.

"Tell me, 'I told you so' another day, Jamie," I snapped at him. James grinned.

"Anyway, Jackie had been acting weird around me. She is only following her precious Lord," I added sarcastically.

James gathered me into a warm and comforting hug while pressing a kiss to my temple.

He was the older brother I always wanted. James hovered and protected me like an overprotective brother. Honestly, I would never want to get rid of my bro. I love him too much. Seriously, he protects me all the time. One time, earlier this year, I dropped a piece of parchment on the ground and Harrison Greyhold—a seventh year suave womanizer in Gryffindor—picked it up for me and handed it to me. The only thing he said was an innocent you're welcome when I thanked him. Jamie seriously got it in his head that Greyhold is in love with me after he offered to tutor me in Charms, which I politely turned down because I am proficient in that course. Sometimes, Greyhold nods at me in the hallway or occasionally asks me how I am doing. James seriously went to Greyhold and gave him the big brother speech. Greyhold barely looks at me now. This is when I dubbed James as "my big mother hen," which annoys the snot out of him, because I use it to get him to back off.

I noticed Lily glaring daggers at me with jealousy and envy in her eyes.

Wait a second, she likes him. I knew it!

HAHAHAHA! Hell has frozen over. Snape fell in love with me. Voldyshorts turned sweet. Dumbledore turned evil. Sirius Black is wonderful.

You get the point?

His voice was muffled in my hair, "I can give a shit about blood and you know that. Being muggleborn is a beautiful gift. You come into this world without knowing a thing but you share an eagerness to learn about the Wizarding world while sharing a profound link to the muggle world. You get the best of both worlds. Just keep in my mind not all pureblood's are evil. They are misled."

I gave him a startled look. "That's deep bro."

He glared at me but I couldn't help to include, "That is something you would expect from a 'Puff."

"That was defiantly a Gryffindor speech. Noble and brave to say," James said arrogantly.

Rolling my eyes, I hit him upside the head.

"Ow! Virgo what was that for? Totally un-Hufflepuffy," he said grumpily, rubbing his head while attempting to flatten his untidy hair.

"That was for being haughty," I hit him again, ignoring his annoying scream.

Sissy, and me makes fun of my scream? Puh-lease.

"That is for calling me Un-Hufflepuffy because I am absolutely a 'Puff. I am loyal to stick around your dumbness and I work hard at being your friend."

He looks mock offended.

"Virgo Harmony—" He takes another blow to his heads, so he won't continue with my annoying name.

"Detention, Miss White."

Guess who said it? Professor McGonagall. Ding. Ding. We have a winner.

"For?" I demand furiously.

"You know, of all people, not to hit a student," she said sternly, walking way. "Should have been a Gryffindor," she mutters. Thanks, Minnie!

I turn around to see I am receiving odd looks from everyone.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?" I blushed. Merlin, I need to shut my trap sometimes.

They all nodded slowly while laughing.

"Yeah we don't know what is going in that tiny brain of yours," Sirius Black smirked and I feel myself blush with anger.

Before I could scream at him, a random Gryffindor first year student accidentally bumped into the table causing Lily's orange juice to spill over Sirius.

"Paybacks a bitch, ain't it?" I smirked. He flipped me off.

"Thanks, Jamie, for the inspiring words," I said as I kissed his cheek. He winked back at me.

"You're so funny," James chortled as I accidently knock down a second year with my hand.

I can feel his hands patting my hair to make it frizzier than it should be.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. In, Out, In-screw it.

"JAMES CHARLUS POTTER!" I screamed, standing up to glare at him as he slowly spins around.

"Yes, sweet cousin?" He smirked at me.

"You have ten bloody seconds to run before I feed you to the bloody Giant Squid."

"You would miss me too much, silly girl. Who would you replace as your older and gorgeous adoptive first cousin once removed?" he smiled arrogantly. That bloody idiot does have a point.

"Remus." This time I smirk as he glared.

"Nu Ugh."

"Uh Huh!"

"Nu Ugh!

"Uh Huh!"

"Nu Ugh."

"Uh Huh!"

"Nu Ugh!

"Uh Huh!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Wench!"

"Idiot!"

"Butt-licker!"

"Lent-licker!"

"Dung face."

"You stole my word, Virgo!"

"Nu ugh!"

"Uh Huh!"

"Nu Ugh!

"Uh Huh!"

"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP?" Lily screeches.

Damn, she can yell. I feel sorry for James, who gets the receiving end of her temper twenty-four seven, and will eventually marry that temper. (Advice for future me: DO NOT GET CAUGHT TEACHING HER CHILDREN HOW TO SMUGGLE FIREWHSIKEY INTO HOGWARTS!)

Most of the people surrounding us looked at us with amusement. Slytherins glared. The teachers shared amused glances at their outspoken students.

The usual at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

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Edited: 4 August 2015