A/N: This is a stupid little crack fic I wrote a long time ago for a friend's birthday. I found it again when I was transferring things to my new computer.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Legend of Zelda game series, nor any of the characters from them. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
This was just not Link's day. He was the very picture of a disgruntled hero. Fuck the quest! Fuck the world! This was fucking madness!! Speaking of fucking… lately he'd been so damn horny. He was about ready to screw a tree or something just to get some release. And wouldn't that be pathetic.
He decided to take a dip in the water to help with his "little problem" although to be honest, it wasn't that little. In fact both the problem and result were quite huge. The water didn't help in the least. In fact it made it worse as it provided a bit of friction.
As he got out he saw Prince Ralis of the zora. To be honest he wasn't in the mood to deal with the dejected prince-ling. In fact he almost wanted to make him feel worse.
That was until Ralis said," I'm not sure if I can be of any use at all… … … can I?" Link wanted to, but no he couldn't. After all Ralis was just a child, a royal child. "What's the Zora age of consent?" Link slapped his hand over his mouth. He couldn't believe he'd asked it out loud. In fact he wondered where the question came from.
Ralis's eyes got wider, something Link hadn't thought possible. It wasn't fear, just surprise. "f-five" he stuttered. The ten year old clearly had many thoughts racing through his head. He didn't believe any of them. To be sure he asked if Link wanted someone brought for him.
Link's reply of, "No you'll do just fine." sent a delicious chill down his spine.
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