A/N: yo yo yo…this is habsrock08 coming to you from (insert country/state/continent name here) Here's another short FAX story. It's so faxy I can hardly stand it!! anyway, please read and review.
Disclaimer: implied things, rated teen
It
was cold and dark out, suiting Fang's mood perfectly. He was
bundled up for it, but still he shivered. His breath came in clouds
like smoke when he exhaled. He'd been walking for what felt like
forever but was closer to fifteen minutes, and he hadn't gotten far
from where he'd started because he kept stopping to think without
realizing that he was no longer walking.
Nothing incredibly awful
had happened to start him on his way; at least, not as far as anyone
else would think. His opinion of it was another story entirely. He
and the rest of the Flock, excluding Iggy and Nudge, had just been
lolling about in their E-shaped house, taking advantage of the long
weekend by playing video games, watching movies, and the like. It
wasn't until the movie that he'd really started hurting inside, that
the sharp thing-- the monster-- that made its home inside his chest
started growing and consequently became restless, pushing itself
against his insides and paining him. It had stayed down there,
dormant, for so long that he'd almost forgotten it was there.
Well, not quite forgotten, but he'd at least begun to learn to live with it. And in less than a moment all that had been undone, and here he was, wondering why he'd suddenly lost control of his own heart.
"So how does it feel to lose again, Fang-o?" Max crowed as she knocked Fang's character out of the ring again. "This victory strengthens the soul of Seung Mina!" she mimicked the game's announcer and Fang hung his head in mock shame.
"You might not always win if you didn't play so dirty," Angel pointed out, looking up from her chess game with Gazzy. She'd already won. The Gasman just didn't realize it yet, and he concentrated for long moments on moves that wouldn't matter anyway. "You just kick him out of the ring every time," Angel continued, her eyebrows raised.
"Doesn't matter!" Max shook her head heatedly. "In the fight for Soul, Angel, ALL is fair!" She turned to Fang. "Want to try again? I'll even take a handicap, if you like." Fang rolled his eyes and looked at Angel for help. Gazzy had finally moved and his younger sister was now taking the Gazzy's queen.
"Checkmate, Gazz. Again." Gazzy growled and flicked his king over.
"I'm sick of this game! Let's watch another film or something." Fang was immediately approving, and Angel was also inclined to agree as she'd not been able to practice any new chess strategy with Gazzy on the other side of the board anyway. Only Max wanted to continue on playing video games and unmercifully beating Fang's sorry butt, but finally she agreed when Angel promised her a survival tournament later in the week.
"So what will it be, then?" Gazzy mused to himself. He rummaged through the bog of videoss he and Fang had picked up at the blockbuster down the road and pulled out a couple. "Hamlet?"
"Too long, for tonight. And I want to laugh, anyway." Max made herself comfortable on the couch in front of the television, feet propped up on the coffee table and bag of licorice close at hand.
"Night at the Opera?" Gazzy asked, his eyes hopeful because he was a big fan of the Marx Brothers.
"That sounds good," Max said, looking to both Fang and Angel for approval. The duo nodded and Gazzy brought it over to the DVD player and popped it in.
"We have to watch the previews, too," Fang said. "I love watching the previews on old videos," she went on, as if everyone present didn't know that already. He plopped down on the end of the couch opposite Max, and Gazzy sat down next to her, his shoulder promptly occupied by Angel's head. Fang took the only spot left, between Max and Angel. His heart fluttered a bit...after all these years, being near Max still made him a bit giddy.
Fang sighed, his smoke-like breath lifting into the night air and disappearing. Watching it, he felt abandoned even by is own breath. But his feelings were still there, and more in his face than ever. He sat down on a bench and hung his head in his hands.
It was true. He had developed something more than love for his friend over the years, but he knew that it would be impractical for him to pursue anything with him. Max wasn't, couldn't, be interested in him. Besides, Max would just say it wouldn't be right, and it would upset things in the Flock. And because of that, Fang had been able to hold off-- to keep his heart and its secret in check. It was not worth it to risk the most important friendship he had.
But the monster had broken loose tonight, had torn its way out of the icy confines Fang had placed it in, and he wasn't able to fight it off. He had wrestled it many times, and had always been able to push it back down. But not tonight. Thankfully, he'd gotten out of there before anything disastrous had been revealed.
He leaned back and closed his eyes, remembering.
The four of them sat in the dark after Max had complained of the glare on her end of the television. She'd been leaning further and further into Max, but apparently it didn't help and she finally got up and shut off the light. Fang breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn't concentrate on the movie with Max so close to him, her breath on his face and her thigh pressed into Fang's. The mutant boy had wanted nothing more than to put his arm around Max and stroke her neck, lean into her and inhale the scent of her hair…So when Max got up he was disappointed but mostly relieved.
The relief didn't last long. Max plopped back onto the sofa nonchalantly and was just as close to Fang as she had been before, if not more so. Worse, she showed no signs of moving. Fang was trapped in sweet hell as he listened to Max laugh, watched her get angry at the bad-guy characters, and cheer at the end. The only think he could be thankful for was the dark, the forgiving dark that hid his discomfort and allowed him quick glimpses of Max's profile...the blue glow from the screen cast an otherworldly glow on his friend that left him breathless. But he was desperate for the film to end so he could make some excuse about being tired and retreat to his room and another sleepless night.
Unfortunately for him, it didn't happen that way. When it was over, Max abruptly sighed.
"I love that movie…too bad Johnny Depp wasn't in it…" It was a well known fact to Angel that Max had a major crush on the talented actor Johnny Depp.
"You're unbelievable, Max." Angel giggled slightly.
Max scoffed. "Maybe I'll just get myself some Johnny Depp, then, and we'll see who's laughing after that! He's a hot looking guy, if I do say so myself." Max laughed to herself at her own humor. Fang felt his stomach drop into his feet.
That proved a point. Max must in no way be attracted to Fang. What am I compared to Johnny Depp? Thought Fang to himself, and Fang began to realize that he could never compete with that. And he assumed that his appearance was the source of the lack of interest in him on Max's part...and he thought again about Max, his beautiful, picturesque Max...and then on to the idealized image of an attractive man...the monster was playing on his jealousy, his insecurity...and the room started spinning and his heart started cracking and the monstrous secret within started its assault on the fortress of his feelings and he had to get out of there. now.
He paid no attention to the bowls of candy he knocked over, to the glasses of soda he toppled, to his friends' calls after him as he grabbed his coat and hat and rushed out the door.
Fang shivered a bit. It was getting really cold, and he hadn't realized the tears running down his face, which now formed icy paths down his cheeks, and his lips and fingers felt numb. He had been lucky to find his gloves and his scarf rolled in the pocket of his coat-- he knew he'd left them all lying on the floor in a heap, but Max must have picked them up for him, because they were lying over a chair on his way out, he now recalled. His head was clearing a bit, and it occurred to him now that he was never going to be able to explain his actions to the others.
He didn't know what he was going to do. He couldn't face them...and any lame excuse he came up with would be seen right through. They weren't dumb, and they knew him. He was usually so laid-back, so easygoing and seemingly carefree and quiet on the inside and outside. This was an incident that wasn't likely to be blown off by the rest of the Flock members. And he knew eventually he would have to tell Max, no matter what the results. It had already broken out-- he couldn't begin to hope of taming it again.
He pulled his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms about his legs. He needed to get back. Maybe he would be lucky and the others would be in their own rooms...maybe they wouldn't see him. They hadn't bothered to follow him, he noted with sadness. Gazzy and Angel had probably already gone to bed…Nudge and Iggy would already be home from their friend's house and would also be going to sleep shortly… And Max? She'd probably gone to bed.
Fang felt a fresh tear slip down his cheek, and reached up to wipe it away when he heard footsteps coming towards him. He hurriedly looked the other way-- he wasn't in the mood to deal with a girl, a wino, or whoever else might be out. He wanted to be alone.
"I gave you some time. I figured you wanted to be alone for a bit." He looked up, surprised at hearing his thoughts aloud and in a voice other than his own. Max's piercing eyes stared at him, icy in colour but warm in their obvious concern for him. As soon as he looked up he felt his heart pound, felt his own eyes betraying him, and he quickly looked back down at his knees.
"Fang...there's ice on your face." It was a statement, not a question, but he nodded anyway. No use trying to hide the fact that he'd been crying.
Max sat down beside him, close as usual. "I want you to come back with me, Fang. You'll catch pneumonia or something..." Fang caught himself thinking that it wasn't such a bad prospect, with what he'd pulled earlier. He felt Max's hand on his arm and felt himself looking up, even though he didn't want to. Her face was sincere, worried. "Please," she whispered. Fang felt himself letting go of his legs and standing with Max, and the two of them walked the short way back to the house in peaceful silence.
"You're coming to my room, Fang," Max said as they made their way down the hall. "I'm not going to have you be alone. You don't have to talk to me, but I want to make sure you're not alone. Besides, I have the feeling I can hardly trust you to get out of those cold things and into a proper bath. Will you do that for me, Fang?" She looked worriedly at her quiet friend, who hadn't said a word or looked anywhere but at his feet on the way back. She was very concerned for her best friend...and she couldn't figure out what had happened. It pained Max that she could never read Fang; couldn't make it all better just by being there. She hated when Fang was hurt more than anything in the world. She felt like crying at the sight of Fang's downcast face, but she knew she had to keep her head about her if she wanted to be of any help.
In response to her question Fang only nodded, and when they arrived at Max's bedroom door the Flock leader told him softly, "They were worried about you too, the others. I wouldn't let them go after you, though. I wanted to." Fang wasn't quite sure how to take that, but he could swear he felt a little warmer at the words. He hadn't realized just how cold he was. He offered a small smile to Max, and saw the relief and the beginnings of a smile on Max's face as well. Max let them into the room and helped Fang out of his large coat, and hung it up while saying, "Go ahead and sit down. I want to draw you a bath." Max disappeared into the joined bathroom.
Fang did as he was told; glad to have his thinking done for him for the moment, and several minutes later Max emerged with reddened cheeks. "It's nice and warm in there," she smiled proudly. Fang felt his heart melt. Max knelt down in front of him and began unlacing his boots. "I put bubbles in, too." She looked up into Fang's face and her eyes were soft. "I hope I didn't do anything, Fang," she said as she began unlacing the other shoe, "but if I did...I'm sorrier than it is humanly possible to be." She set the boots to the side and stood up, extending her hand to Fang. "Please tell me you're going to be all right."
Fang looked up into Max's face and felt something inside of him die...but it wasn't the kind of death he would consider bad. He looked at the her face; so trusting, so warm, so anxious and wanting to help, and he knew that no matter what he would be able to go on, as long as Maximum Ride was there with him.
The death was that of the monster that guarded his secret. Max's smile had killed it. And Fang decided that he had to tell her now, while he still had the guts. It was sure to shatter his hopes, but he'd rather it be that way than have his friend worried and upset.
He placed his hand in Max's and took a deep breath. "Well, you see, max...you did do something." He saw her face fall and hurried on: "But it was no fault of yours." Her inquisitive eyes met his. "Max, you...you stole something from me." The Flock's leader looked genuinely confused. Fang smiled a bit in spite of himself at how cute she looked, her brow furrowed and her nose wrinkled. It gave him the willpower to go on.
"You stole my heart, Max."
The moment seemed never-ending. Neither of them spoke, neither of them moved...Fang's hand was still in Max's, and he could feel his heart pounding in such a way that he thought it might force itself right out from his chest. He didn't want to speak, he wanted to make sure he wasn't talking when he got the rejection...he needed to be able to bite his cheeks, to keep the tears from spilling.
Another eternity went by, and neither was sure who moved first, and it didn't really matter, because they moved in opposite directions...
Lips met in a tentative kiss, and Fang's world spun. A moment later they separated, and two sets of surprised eyes met.
"Max--"
"Fang--"
Neither one spoke, for fear of interrupting the other, for fear of what might come next. And finally, since words were obviously not what was in order, their lips met again, a little more forceful this time, and arms snaked about waists and necks until the two were entwined like ivy about a tree. Fang felt dizzy, and when he felt Max's lips on his own he thought he would faint. His knees buckled a bit, and Max tightened his hold on Fang's waist.
"Are you okay?" Her eyes were worried again, but this time there was something different-- they were bright, smiling.
"Am I dreaming, Max?" Fang sunk to his knees at her feet and looked up into her eyes. "Tell me I'm awake. Please." He held onto the Max's hand, bringing it to his cheek and gently rubbing it against his face. He felt Max's other hand reach to stroke his hair.
"If you're dreaming, so am I." She joined Fang on the floor. "Fang...how...why? What happened earlier?" She found herself curling into Fang's embrace, nearly on his lap, looking up into his face. "Please, tell me what happened."
Fang took a deep breath. "It was a monster, Max, a monster inside," he whispered. "It was guarding my secret, but it got too strong...it broke out with it...I had been keeping my feelings for you in for so long...and when I heard you talk about that actor that way, and everything else that has happened over the years...I couldn't hold it in anymore, and it stabbed its way out of my heart with my own feelings. It hurt so much to look at the others, to hear you talk about beauty...it was such a sharp pain...and the monster inside me used the sharpness to cut its way out. And I had to get out of there." He looked down, remembering once again that he wasn't what Max deserved.
"I feel like such an ugly, horrible person, Max. And you're so perfect. And I never thought you could feel..." Despite his efforts to the contrary his eyes met hers. The fearless leader's eyes shone with unshed tears.
"Oh, Fang..." And she kissed him with all the feeling in her being. When she pulled back she wrapped her arms tightly around her older friend, whispering, "You are beautiful."
Fang could hardly believe what he was hearing. He shook his head, but Max quickly silenced him. "Beauty is not just physical, although I find you beautiful in appearance too. But you are most perfect to me inside, Fang...your heart. Your mind. The soul that's so close to mine..." He took Fang's chin in his hand and looked at him. "I felt just like you did, Fang. But I didn't want to risk our friendship, because I didn't know." She smiled. "But now, we both know. I just can't believe we both thought..." She broke out laughing and Fang joined in, the two of them relieved beyond words.
"And what's to stop us from being beautiful together, now?"
Fang's smile could have split his face. He stood up quickly, bringing Max with him. He hugged her close and whispered into her ear, "I love you."
"And I love you, Fang." Max pulled back and smiled again. Fang felt much warmer now. He didn't even know if he needed a bath to warm him anymore...he didn't know if he could ever feel cold again. He looked down into Max's face, which had a small but mischievous grin on it.
"Wanna take that bath, Fang? I'll bet Johnny Depp has nothing on you when you're wet...I'll show you beautiful…" And to keep himself from swooning, Fang picked Max up and threw her over his shoulder on his way to the bathroom.
"You most certainly will." And as he reached the door he felt Max's lips against his ear, whispering something he was beginning to realize himself.
"Your monster did a beautiful thing, breaking out."
And Fang was inclined to agree.
The End