Some stories, it seems, are shared across many worlds. This is a familiar fairy tale as it is known on Azeroth, where mothers tell it to their children to remind them not to stray too far from home.
Once upon a time in Goldshire, there lived a little girl whose hair weas as golden as sunlight. Her mother named her Margot, but because of her hair, everyone who knew her called her Goldilocks.
Goldilocks was much admired for her beautiful hair, and the truth be told, she was more than a bit spoiled. Any time her mother baked a delicious chocolate cake, Goldilocks would take the biggest and best piece for herself. She was not really a bad child, but she was often thoughtless and inconsiderate of others.
One afternoon, Goldilocks went out to play with the other little girls who lived in Goldshire. As all the mothers in Goldshire did, Goldilocks' mother warned her not to go too far away, and always stay close enough to be able to see the inn. And as always, Goldilocks promised that she would, and went out to play.
The girls went out picking flowers to braid into crowns so that they could play that Goldilocks was the Queen of Stormwind and her friends were her ladies-in-waiting. Goldilocks spotted a particularly large and pretty peacebloom, but one of the other girls had seen it too, and picked it before Goldilocks got there.
"That was mine!" Goldilocks said.
"Nuh-uh, I saw it first!" her playmate replied.
"Well, I'm going to go get better ones!" Goldilocks said stubbornly, and started down the path away from town.
"Our mothers told us never to go out of sight of the inn!"
"Then stay here. I'll bring back bigger and prettier flowers than any of you can pick," she shouted back, and skipped down the path out of sight.
Sure enough, when Goldilocks got out of sight of town, there were more flowers than there were near Goldshire, bigger and prettier than she had ever seen before. Perhaps their not being picked all the time by little girls had something to do with it. Goldilocks went from one patch of flowers to the next, picking more and more flowers, until finally she had a whole armful, more than she could possibly need.
Now Goldilocks was ready to go back to town and braid flower crowns with her friends, but when she looked around, she didn't see anything familiar. She didn't hear the clanging of the blacksmith at his work, or the horses of adventurers passing through town. She had forgotten her mother's warning not to go out of sight of the inn, and now she was lost!
"Well," she said to herself, "I'll just keep walking until I find a house, and the people there will give me dinner and tell me how to get home." She was sure of this, you see, because she had never known anyone but the kind people of Goldshire. So she took a tighter grip on her big bunch of flowers, and started off in what she thought was the right direction.
An hour later, she was sore, and tired, and all scratched up from thornbushes. She had lost most of her flowers and one of her little shoes, too. And she was very, very hungry. She noticed that the sun was starting to get low in the sky. Soon it would be dark.
Then, up ahead of her, she saw the sky. There was a clearing ahead. She pushed on through the bushes, adn found that the clearing was a small pond. Better still, by the shore of the pond was a funny little house on stilts. Goldilocks had never seen a house like that before. She wondered what sort of people would put their house up on stilts like that. Whoever they were, however, she was gladder than she ever had been to see their house.
She ran to the house, climbed up the little ladder in front of it, and knocked on the door. When nobody answered, she knocked harder.
"Hello! Let me in! I can't find Goldshire, and I'm hungry!" she shouted at the door. But there was no answer. She couldn't see in the windows, since they would have been above her head if she got down from the ladder to the door. She shouted again, and there was no answer. Finally, she tried the door ... and it opened! Goldilocks immediately went inside.
Inside the house was all one room, with a ladder up to a loft where the people who lived here slept. In the middle of the room there was a table, made of wood lashed together with tough vines, and on that table were three plates: one big plate, one middle-sized plate, and one small little plate. On each plate was a fish, all ready to eat. Around the table were three chairs made of branches: one big chair, one middle-sized chair, and one small little chair. She sait down in the biggest chair, but the seat as too hard. Next she tried the middle-sized chair, but it was too soft. Finally she tried the smallest chair, and it was just right. But when she sat down on it, it broke apart. So she decided to eat standing up.
Goldilocks was very hungry, so she was very happy to see dinner laid out for her. She tried the fish on the big plate first, since it was the biggest, but it was too greasy. Next she tried the fish on the middle-sized plate, but it was too bony. Finally she tried the fish on the small little plate, and it was just right. So she ate it all up.
By the time she finished eating the fish, it was getting dark. She had walked a lot more than she ever had before, so she was very tired. She went up the ladder to the sleeping loft. There, to her surprise, instead of beds she saw three big piles of seaweed: one big pile, one middle-sized pile, and one small little pile. She lay down on the biggest pile, but it was too damp and squishy. So she tried the middle-sized pile, but it was too dry and scratchy. Finally she tried the small little pile, and it was just right. She went to sleep.
Not long after Goldilocks went to sleep in their bedroom, the family who lived in the house came home. They found the door open (for Goldilocks had not bothered to shut it behind her) and looked around, worried.
"Someone has been in our house," the mother said. "I wonder who?" The three of them (for there was a mother, a father, and a little one) looked at the chairs around the table.
"Someone has been sitting in my chair!" the father said.
"Someone has been sitting in my chair, too!" the mother said.
"Someone has been sitting in my chair, and broke it!" the little one said, with a bit of a sniffle because he liked his chair and now it was all broken.
Then they looked at the table, where they had left their dinners to cool while they went out for a few minutes. They saw that someone had been there, too.
"Someone has tasted my fish!" the father said, sounding a bit annoyed now.
"Someone has tasted my fish, too!" the mother said.
"Someone has tasted my fish, and ate it all up!" the little one said.
Now they were getting worried. So they looked around, in case the trespasser was still there. They didn't find anyone. Then they checked up in the sleeping loft.
"Someone has been sleeping in my bed!" the father said.
"Someone has been sleeping in my bed, too!" the mother said.
"Someone has been sleeping in my bed, and there she is!" the little one said.
When she heard this, Goldilocks woke up. But she didn't understand what they were saying. To her it just sounded like "Mrglglglglglglgl!" and that was the last thing she heard before the three murlocs leaped on her and ate her all up!
Author's Note: Late one night, someone on the trade channel said "I want a bedtime story!" I had just finished tending my auctions, and I was in a bit of a crazy mood, so as sort of a joke I started telling "Goldilocks and the Three Murlocs", making it up as I went along. People got a kick out of it (especially the guy who asked for a story, although his BG queue popped just before the end and I had to finish it for him by whisper), so I decided to post it here for fun. I promised them "The Three Little Quillboars" next time, but so far, I haven't gotten around to it.