Her smile

Her laugh

Her eyes

Her lips

And damn it her kiss

Draco couldn't get his bearings. His heart was racing, and his mind was racing faster. This wasn't supposed to happen. But as much as he told himself that, it had happened.And was happening at that moment. And he wouldn't change it for anything. His heart ached with tenderness, felt like it might crack in two.Draco longed to lay Hermione down and trace every inch of her pale skin. To kiss her good and hard, then move his mouth to unexplored territory with softer lips. To crawl inside Hermione's skin, and hide there forever, safe from hurt and reality and anything other than the two of them together.

Instead, he kissed Hermione's hair lightly and moved away a little. He sat in silence for a few minutes, giving them both an opportunity to attempt to absorb what had just occurred. Then he regretfully broke the quiet. "We should probably be getting back.." he whispered.

Hermione nodded shyly. "I told Harry I'd be back by eleven."

"I don't think it's even close to eleven yet. And eleven? What are we, thirteen?" Draco gently teased with a small laugh. Then he grew serious. "Look, Hermione...what happened just now? It's really big for me. Huge. And I get the feeling it is for you, too. It's not something we should just rush into," Draco began. He piped up again quickly when he saw Hermione bite her lip nervously. "I mean, I want it. Don't get me wrong. But I just think maybe...we need some time to think about this separately. Figure out exactly what we want, how far we want to take this"

Hermione sighed, but nodded."What, like take a few days or something? How much time?"

"Maybe...two days. I told Blaise we'd be doing the Winter ball thing every other day, so we can talk during our next session, huh?"

Hermione smiled. "If we can squeeze it in, what with all the planning going on." They chuckled a little, more to relieve the tension than anything else.

Although they had decided to leave, neither could bring their selfs to move just yet. Instead they silently sat pressed together on the rock, enjoying their closeness, and the warm September night, and the newness of it all. Finally, Draco looked over, and reached down to squeeze Hermione's hand, speaking quietly. "You're scared, aren't you?"

Hermione started to shake her head in denial, then stopped herself. She didn't think she could lie to Draco if dhe tried. Not here, not tonight. "Yeah. I'm...scared, she affirmed simply."Are you?"

Draco sighed. "Yeah. He left it at that, and Hermione didn't want to push. "Hey, we should go. For real this time," he said, nudging Hermione gently.

Hermione nodded and stood up, picking up the lantern. Then she took Draco's hand and led him back to the school. And back to their lives.

The old fashioned windowsill was Hermione's favorite thing about her room. It was just large enough for her and Ginny to sit in semi-comfortably. She had sat countless nights in this windowsill, gazing at the stars and the thick branches of the beautiful live oak tree just beneath the window. When she was twelve and fighting with her boys, the windowsill cradled her on many an anguished night. At age fifteen, she and Ginny talked about their virginity.Ginny's being taken by Harry; that night she spent hours on the windowsill with her, sitting in that spot, trying not to wake Lavander with thier breathless laughter. That windowsill had seen her through both the hardest and most exciting times in her life. And as what had happened with Draco could arguably qualify on both counts, it was no surprise that the aftermath on the night of Hermione and Draco's first Winter ball session found her there.

Draco had dropped Hermione off at Gryffindor tower after a silent, pensive walk back the school. There had been no goodnight kiss, just soft smiles and a pledge to think on things and then talk again in two days.

Draco's mind was reeling. He couldn't wrap himself around what had happened. It had felt so natural, surrounded by moonlight and ancient trees and the eerie hush of night to kiss the beautiful princess beside him. Draco had always felt that man's true nature came out in nature. Without the frills and luxury of modern life, the standards and expectations, a person was stripped down to his core. So it was rather fitting that this had happened. The problem was, Draco didn't live in a forest. He lived in a town, and went to school, and had a girlfriend. A girlfriend for Merlin's sake.

Draco hadn't forgotten about Pansy when he was in the woods. On the contrary, he had very deliberately pushed the thought of her out of his mind. And now, surrounded by pictures,mementos, notes, reminder after reminder of his life with her, he hated himself. He hated himself for doing what he'd always promised her he wouldn't. He hated himself for doing it with a muggleborn. And most of all, he hated himself for the peach pit currently residing in his gut: the knowledge that given the opportunity, he'd betray her again without a second's hesitation.

The door to his room opened, jarring Draco from his thoughts. A quick glance at his clock told him it was one-thirty. Shit. It had to be Pansy. No one else would come to him at this ungodly hour, although even she rarely came this late. He followed the flashing light in the darkness, and finally found the person behind the door.

"Hello?" he said breathlessly.

"Um...Draco?" a timid voice replied.

His heart leapt to his throat, and he sat down hard on the bed.Pansy.

"Drakie?"

"Yeah, sorry. Hey..." Draco breathed.

"I'm sorry to come by so late. It's just, I couldn't sleep. And I know we were going to wait, but I couldn't. I had to talk to you. Did I wake you up?" Pansy spoke in a breathless rush."I need to end this us I mean it's gone on long enough Draco"

"No, no. I was just...thinking. I agree I'm glad you came." And he was. Draco allowed a small smile to creep onto his face. Even though right now Pansy was sort of the source of turmoil in his life, she made Draco feel...not alone. And that was okay to have this sweet and indescribably beautiful feelings towards Hermione. Ones he'd never felt, at least not to this degree. "How did you know I was back?"

"I looked in the school directory," Pansy replied. "There were two people missing. One was under um...Draco, and one was Hermione. I figured that must mean your private talk was over. I not interrupting anything , am I?"

"No," Draco assured her, "there's only a person in my room. Don't worry...you're fine."

"Ok. Good," Draco sighed. Pansy could hear the smile in the blonde's voice and it spread to her own face, her smile growing unconsciously bigger. "So, how was it?"

"Pansy she's brilliant."

"Do did you kiss her?" Pansy asked curiously.

"Yeah, it's was damn everything . What about you and Weasley?" Draco said, diverting the subject.

"He's worth everything I've lost to be with him. He was already asleep when you came through that's why I came to you," Pansy said. "You'll like him though. He treat's me like I'm gold " Draco's heart fluttered. "Oh, and my momma loves him . She wouldn't shut up about what a nice, polite boy he is" Draco smiled. He loved that Pansy was finally happy. She was good with adults, but his mom just didn't like her with her son.He just knew his mother would adore Hermione.

There was a lull in the conversation. Draco would have broken it, but he had no idea how to begin to say all the things he was feeling.Then Blaise appeared with Hermione and Ron in tow.With a kiss to Draco's cheek and a tiny nod to Hermione she took Ron's hand leading him to her room. Blaise gave a nod then returned to his sleep Leaving Hermione and Draco alone Hermione spoke first, quiet again. "Draco ? Tonight was... unreal. I thought I would never let anyone in again. I swore I wouldn't. But you changed my mind. Instantly. That's how amazing you are." she paused, collecting her thoughts. "I want... something with you. I'll do anything. It can be secret, whatever you need. But I don't want to scare you, or rush you, or do anything you're not happy with. I just...I want you to be happy. More than anything." Hermione sounded close to tears near the end, and it made Draco's heart hurt.

"Merlin, Draco. You're so...so good." she felt foolish right after she said it.

"God. No I'm not. But I...want to be. You make me want to be good again," Draco choked out, tears coating his voice."I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry. I'm not usually such a sap, I swear. It's just been...so long." Hermione was gasping, trying to regain control.

Draco's own eyes had filled up and spilled over. Draco didn't know exactly what had hurt Hermione, but he wanted to crush it, brutally destroy it. He longed to be there next to Hermione, and to squeeze all the ugliness and hurt out of her body. He could erase all the hard memories, and then replace them with love, and acceptance, and tender kisses, and..

Fuck he had it bad.

He tried to think of words to tell Hermione that they didn't need to hide their feelings, or be afraid of showing them. His mother always told Draco that any feeling he had was ok,because it came from a real place inside him. And that made the feeling real, whether other people thought it was stupid or not. Draco wanted to convey that to Hermione, but he was lost in his own feelings, and couldn't find the words. Instead she beat him to it, she murmured, "You don't have to hide for or from me,Draco. I'll never think...bad of you."

And that seemed to be enough.Draco sniffled, and uttered a soft "Thank you." He waited a moment, and when he spoke again, he had collected himself. "I'm really sorry...to lay that on you. This stuff is just...hard for me."

"Shh. Don't apologize. Like I said, you don't ever have to hide from me,"Hermione said without hesitation. Then Draco, gathering up his courage, he spoke the words he needed to say and Hermione needed to hear. "Hermione...I want you. I want to be with you. Draco heard a shuddery breath. " People are going to tell me I shouldn't want you, but I do, and I might even need you. I--I don't know how this will work. I'm fucking terrified. But it will. Work. Because it has to."

Hermione paused, then finally brought up the subject they'd both been dancing around all evening. "Draco...what about you and Pansy?"

"We've both fallen for other people ,but she is one of my only true friends." He definitely felt better with himself.

Hermione smiled. "I hope it remains that way."

"Thank you"

Don't thank me. It's fine. We'll just all learn how to interact together"

"Yeah," Draco murmured with a sigh then smiled. "I guess we'll have to .Because I'm not giving you up for anything"

Draco spent a good two hours cuddling, with Hermione. It was a weird position to be in. They were together exactly what they wanted, but they definitely need to show everyone that they were Draco and Hermione.No longer enemies but something so much better. They spent the time after the intense beginning talking casually. Sort of get to know you, first date conversation. It seemed ridiculous that they hadn't gone through it yet.

Draco's heart unfurled with each new detail he learned about Hermiome. And he discovered more and more that as passionately connected as he had felt to the girl from the beginning, he genuinely liked her as well. Her humor, her warmth--everything about her. And as much as Hermione hated the secrecy and the lies that were inevitable, she couldn't help but tingle in anticipation of the possibilities ahead. A passionate relationship, full of discovery and wonder. Strong, masculine arms to hold her, and make her feel secure. Body parts Draco only fantasized about, all his to touch and please. And this perfect boy--to laugh with, and fight with, and play with, and live with. And Hermione knew that with the possibility of all that looking her in the eye, there was no way he could turn back.

His father would be the only thing standing in their way.But Draco knew that he'd let nothing break them apart..

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I've been working on this for weeks,flamers had me tempted not to post but my friend beta'd her ass off for me I heart you Parker..Much love..

And if you got something harsh to say that's cool but don't break a girls spirit please I'm trying my best to get better...

Kels