Chapter 1: The Beginning
It all started with a curse. (Why does it always start with a curse?)
"I'm gonna geet tha' damn Amurica, hic!" England grumbled as he slammed open his front door (after crashing into it first) and stumbled inside. "Tha' FOOL ees gonna geet eet nauw, fa'—" He paused for several seconds at the head of the stairs, attempting to think of a decent reason. "Fa' leavin' meh in th' war an' fa' all thos tiems afterwa', tha' blooody Yankeh! Hic!" Ah England. When he's drunk he's so predictable. Which means, unfortunately… No, not Britannia Angel. As amusing as that is, it tends to entail spells over curses, and we already know that a curse is involved. Of course, it could be Russia…
Nah, too scary. Besides, that takes eighteen years and a lot of church cooperation to work. He's also not dumb/drunk enough to mess up on a curse. Now, let's get back on track already!
"Imsheh bo' koooo~! Ta' too' boo' CAAAEK! Ey' took sueeeeh boooeh!" Okay, so maybe we didn't miss much. But still! Even though that babble is certainly not Latin or Welsh it is still vital to be able to understand this story. Well, maybe not, but it does serve a (very obvious) purpose for this particular plot. And perhaps the fact that England is so drunk that he can't eve
…
Maybe I shouldn't write so late at night anymore…
Anyways, the guy is so drunk that he probably doesn't even know or realize what he's saying. Which is, of course, why we're here. What? This isn't breaking the Fourth Wall! Now, an actual character doing this would be. I'm just the narrator of sorts for the moment. And stop derailing my train of thought!
"Kua waah TOOHH—" At that moment the spell circle (when did he draw that, and how come it's so neat when he can't even sit straight?) glowed a quite bright shade of pink before some sort of visible light wave (and don't ask me about that because I don't know either) burst from the circle outwards. At this point England's tired body and exhausted mind (and mental capabilities) gave up and he was removed from reality at the moment by passing out. Unfortunately for many other individuals they didn't have that blessing.
"Kesesese… Bru—ahem, schwester—, guten morgen! Kesesese!"
"What are you laughing about? And why in the world did you call me that?"
"Because you are mein schwester, kesese."
"Have you even looked at yourself this morning, Prussia? Or should I also call you 'schwester'?"
"…AAAH! Mein Gott, I have breasts!"
"You scream very loudly, schwester."
"Danke, schwester."
"Oh, good morning, big— …"
"What is it, Liechtenstein?"
"When did you become my big sister? It's rather cute."
"Wha-what? I-I'm not a woman!"
"You're funny, big sister. But we need to go shopping, because you're too big for my clothes. Or maybe Hungary has some she can spare…"
"No! I don't need any clothes! I'm fine!"
"You're so funny, big sister."
"I'm not trying to be funny! And stop calling me that!"
"Where are you, Hong Kong, aru?"
"Here, Teacher."
"You look prettier than me, aru! And so does Macau…"
"What do you mean, Teacher?"
"You haven't noticed, aru?"
"Noticed what?"
"…"
"There! Yesss! YOUR BREASTS BELONG TO—"
"Korea, don't even like try it."
"Why did you run towards hi—I mean her, aru?"
"Because you haven't changed, aniki, and how can I pass up on an opportunity presented to me like that?"
"…"
"…"
"Oh, you did change, aniki! In that case… YOUR BREASTS BELONG TO ME, DAZE!"
"LET GO OF ME, ARU!"
"…I actually did like already know I was a chick. I just like wanted to mess with you, Teacher."
"You- aaah, let go, aru!"
"Ahahahah! I don't think I will, daze!"
"NNNNNNNNNO—"
"VEEE- Romano!"
"Stop yelling, Veneziano! I'm right here, idiot!"
"But fratello, I looked down at myself just a moment ago and realized that I'm not the same!"
"You just found that out? I noticed that two minutes ago! You're worse than the tomato bastard."
"Ve, you do know you're a girl too, right fratello?"
"… Of-of course I do! How stupid do you think I am? …Merda."
"Hey Canadia, dude! Guess what happened this time?"
"You turned into a girl?"
"Yeah! How'd you guess?"
"I'm one too… and so is everyone else."
"What?"
A/N: Hello, readers! Sorry for not having updated on anything in months. My summer was extremely busy and I didn't really have any time to write. Now that school has started I've been able to write a lot more (ironically I actually write the most during the school day, as I write in a notebook that also serves as a general school notebook) and I should have the third chapter of Catastrophic Confusion up soon. For now, I decided to upload this short, sillier story (sadly unbeta-d) in an attempt to branch out a little more. Yes, it's the classic "the characters got genderbended/England messed up on a spell or curse again" but I'm hoping that I'll be original enough to make it an entertaining read. (The majority of the chapters also won't be just dialogue. I thought it would be interesting to have here, so here it resides. It was honestly very weird to write.)
So, readers/reviewers, I would like you to tell me at least one thing in particular- What about this is funny and what isn't? I've never been very good at humor in real life, so I have no clue if any of this written humor is amusing or not. Feedback in that area (and how in-character the countries are) would be greatly appreciated.
Criticism of all types is greatly appreciated. (And as is usual for fanfic authors to say, outright flames will be used to build a nice fire to roast marshmallows over. Said marshmallows may or may not be used for diabetes-inducing fluff scenes, as they may be thrown at the flamers instead.)