Addison looked around her hotel room. She had stayed here for quite some time, but a hotel room never really feels like home. Sure, she had hung up her clothes, but that was because there was no way she was going to wear wrinkly clothes to work. And there was definitely no way she was ironing anything. But that wasn't the point. The point was that she was supposed to be packing her clothes. The point was that she was leaving Seattle.

She was glad she had decided not to sell the brownstone in Manhattan. There was only so much she could take from Seattle Grace, and she had reached her limit. Manhattan seemed like another world now. It had been such a large part of her life, but she had left it all behind for Derek. And he had left her behind for Meredith. So it was back to Manhattan, back to the place where she most likely belonged.

In Manhattan, Addison had felt desired. Two men loved her, or at least made love to her. She had friends. She had a life.

In Seattle, Addison felt shunned. No one loved her, and rarely made love to her.

She had a friend, and no life. She worked more at Seattle Grace than in New York because there was nothing to do when she wasn't at the hospital.

There was a knock at her door, and Addison felt foolishly hopeful. She always got excited when there was a knock on the door, just as she got excited when mail came. But it wouldn't be anyone she knew.

Secretly, she hoped that one of her failed romances would visit her in her room, perhaps to try and persuade her to stay. She knew Derek wouldn't come. She secretly hoped Alex would come. Even Mark would have been all right. Sometimes she just wanted sex. Mark was good for that.

She looked through the peephole. Ah, room service. She knew all the waiters by name, and it was Jerry tonight. She opened the door, and Jerry held out a decadent tray with a smile.
"Good evening, Ms. Montgomery," he said, giving a little bow as she took the tray.
"So formal tonight, Jerry," she responded, her mouth quirking slightly.
"We were given a lecture about flirting with the guests, ma'am," he answered, his eyes smiling.
"You mean you got a lecture about flirting with the guests." Addison grinned at the cocky waiter. He was known for his gregarious behavior, especially with the females staying alone.
"Enjoy your meal, Ms. Montgomery," was all Jerry said, but it was accompanied with a wink.

Addison closed the door and brought the tray to her bed. Crossing her legs, she set the tray on her lap, and looked at the food that had sounded so appetizing a few minutes ago.

She set it on the floor and lay back in her bed, staring at the ceiling.

There were reasons why she was leaving Seattle Grace. Three reasons, specifically.

There was Derek. She was over him. Really, she was. But aren't ex-wives allowed to feel some kind of reservations when they see their ex-husbands dating new women? It pained her to see him give Meredith the care he never gave her, not even when they were first starting out. Maybe it wasn't just Derek. It was Meredith and Derek. She liked both of them separately. Separately, they were fine. Together, Addison wanted to vomit a little bit. Together, they reminded Addison of what she never had, and of what she wanted, and of what she would probably never get.

There was Mark. Cocky, slutty, man-whore Mark. He hadn't even lasted to the halfway point of their deal. Addison had known he wouldn't. She had set him a Sisyphean task, but he had risen to the challenge. Mark never was one to resist a good offer. Addison knew that she was considered a prize. She was excellent in bed, and an excellent girlfriend, and would have thought that knowing what he would get if he waited 60 days would be enough to keep him off other women. It wasn't. Addison wasn't sure if Mark knew how horrible it had made her feel to have him throw off their deal as casually as most of his sexual encounters. She had tried. She had put herself out there, and she had been denied. Mark made Addison think she wasn't good enough.

There was Alex. Karev, evil-spawn, whatever his name, there he was. Addison lusted after him. She couldn't believe that she was so obvious with her attraction, but if Callie was to be believed, most people must have noticed that she couldn't keep her eyes off of him. He had rejected her, though. But that didn't stop them from working together, or from him saying some of the sweetest things she could imagine. There was something about him that made her heart ache and her pulse race. She had always noticed him. From the moment she had told him that his ass was hers to the moment where he told her that he would notice if she went missing, she had noticed him. Addison wished she had handled the whole Alex situation better. But she hadn't, and so Alex reminded her of her failure.

She hated being shallow. She hated that she was leaving because of three men. But in reality, she was leaving because of what those three men represented. Back in New York, she'd at least have something else besides the hospital, and maybe, maybe she could rebuild herself.

Another knock came at Addison's door. She sat upright, trying to quash that hopeful feeling. There was no chance that it was anybody she wanted to see. Well, almost no chance.

Walking back to her door, she again looked through the peephole. She sucked in her breath when she saw Alex standing outside.

Slowly, she opened the door.

"So, I'm a stalker," was the first thing out of his mouth.

"I don't care," was Addison's immediate response. She blushed suddenly, and cursed inwardly. She blushed so rarely that she hated when it happened.

"I know you're leaving tomorrow and I didn't get a chance to say good-bye." Alex watched Addison's face, noting the slight wrinkle in her brow as she tried to decide how to respond.

So he hadn't come to convince her to stay, but saying good-bye was better than nothing, right? She opened the door a little more, inviting Alex in.

"I'm not staying, Dr. Montgomery. I just came to say good-bye," he said, and Addison's heart broke slightly. Every time Alex talked to her, her hopes rose, but every time, he managed to crush them.

He leaned in and kissed her once, softly, and warmly. "Good-bye, Addison," he said quietly, and pulled away.

And he was gone. Addison closed her door and sank down, leaning against the door, her knees pulled to her chest.

She sat that way for a long time, trying to figure out exactly how she felt and if she even felt anything at all. Well, it was obvious she did. Maybe there was more than lust to how she felt about Alex. She shook her head. That wasn't a 'maybe'. There was more to how she felt about Alex.

"So do something, Addison. Don't just let things happen to you," she told herself sternly. She pulled herself up, and picked her cell phone up off the table and dialed a number quickly.

"Hello?"
"Ask me to stay."
"What?"
"Ask me to stay. If you ask me, I will. If you want me here, I will stay."
"Open your door."
"What?"
"Open your door. If you open your door, I'll ask."

Addison dropped her phone and opened her door.

"Did you really think I was going to let you leave?"