Maric Theirin and the Sacred Ashes
Performed by
Maric Theirin as King Arthur
Loghain Mac Tir as Patsy
Ser Jory as Sir Robin
Sten as Sir Lancelot
Alistair of the Grey Wardens as Sir Galahad
Wynne as the Enchanter
The killer nug Schmooples as the Killer Rabbit
Morrigan as the not a witch
Flemeth as the crazy bridge person
And the rest of the cast to be determined.
Lead writer Jankmaster98
Am errk nogg Val tushna
Omg ttyl ma vehnan
ex co writer Jankmaster98
Why not vizit Orzumar this year?
Sea the leva flozing
watch out for broOntos
co writer Jankmaster98
I'm cerious a bronto once cilled mi sister
vell she das engraving lyrium on its skin with a metal pike
her brother srated in many nObles includeing Pasision of the Nug and the Paragon strikes bake.
Sorry for the gibberish those responsible have been sacked
Halla training jankmaster
Halla costuming jankmast98
Halla voice over audio jankmaster89
Brontos trained to deliever catering by Tim
Anything that represents anything or anyone from things related to Bioware or Monty Python are totally ridiculous and ludicrous. This is all original people I don't know why people think this is related to anything like that!
-Signed Knight Commander Meredith
We apologize for the further fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for the sacking sacking those responsible have been sacked.
Suggestive poses for the Halla suggested by Jankmaser98
New age music provided by the Circle Of Magi of Tevinter.
We apologize again for the fault, those responsible for the credits have informed us they have been sacked. The remaining credits have been put together at great expense at the last minutes.
Special thanks to Monty Python for making such an awesome movie
Everything written by Jankmaster98 and not beta'd or edited before hand. Don't like how I'm butchering both source materials? Sucks, write a review or something to leave your opinion.
Actually I lied about the beta thing this work has actually been edited by a team of tranquil nugs and a sylvan dancing troupe. An entire team of highly educated brontos was brought in to write the extended edition, but they were waylaid by a group of African Swallows who bombarded them with coconuts. The battle was long and terrible and resulted in the deaths of many teenage deep stalkers. Broodmothers have always stayed away from the Brecilian Forest ever since.
Ferelden 9:32 Dragon
Across the kingdom of Ferelden two fellows rode across the land. Okay when we say ride more like stride on foot, but anyway it was foggy and stuff. They approached a non distinct castle somewhere in Ferelden, the clopping of horse hooves followed the king where he went as he and strode up and stopped his entourage.
Maric: Whoa there!
Guard: Who goes there?"
Maric: It's I Maric Therein, son of Moria Therein from the castle of, um, I don't really remember the Stolen Throne is kind of vague but... King of the lowlands, defeater of Orlais, sovereign of all Ferelden!
Guard: Pull the other one!
Maric: I am? And this is my trusty servant Loghain.
Loghain: More like the person who does all the hard work and none gets of the credit.
Maric: You're just jealous I got the girl.
Loghain: Least I'm in the actual game that made this series popular.
Maric: Anyway, we have ridden the length and breadth of the land, in search of knights who will join me in my court at Denerim, I must speak to your lord and master!
Guard: What ridden on a horse?
Maric: Yes.
Guard: You're using coconuts!
Maric: What?
Guard: You've got two empty husks of coconuts and you're banging them together!
Maric: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land. From the Free Marches, through-
Guard: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Maric: We found them.
Guard: Found them? In the Free Marches? The coconut's tropical!
Maric: What do you mean?
Guard: Well this is a temperate zone.
Maric: When you have a world where magic is an established fact and dragons and griffons used to fly through the sky don't you think a coconut in the Free Marches is one of the more plausible things? Besides swallows fly north with the before the sun but they're not strangers to our lands!
Guard: Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
Maric: Not at all, they could be carried.
Guard: What - a swallow carrying a coconut?
Maric: It could grip it by the husk!
Guard: It's not a question of where it grips it. It's a simple question of weight ratios. A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
Maric: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Maric from the court of Denerim is here!
Guard. Listen, in order to maintain airspeed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
Maric: Please!
Guard: Am I right?
Maric: I'm not interested
Other Guard Guy: It could be carried by a dragon, or a griffon, or maybe Tevinter swallow.
Guard: Oh, yeah, one of those maybe, but a normal swallow no way. That's my point.
Other Guard Guy: Yeah I agree with that.
Maric: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Denerim?
Loghain: We should just get out of here, this is going nowhere.
Guard: The thing is griffins and dragons are extinct and Tevinter Swallows are non migratory.
Other Guard Guy: Oh yeah..
Guard: So they coudn't bring on back anyway.
Deciding Loghain was right, they both quickly tired of the guards debate on swallows and continued on to the non descript castle and the non descript town near it.
Other Guard Guy: Wait! Supposing two Ferelden Swallows carried it together?
Guard: No they'd have to have it on a line.
Other Guard Guy: Well simple! They'd just use a standard creeper!
Guard: What held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
Other Guard Guy: Well why not?
And so ends the first iconic scene
A/N So this was just something that popped into my head after playing lots of Dragon Age and watching the one of the Funniest movies ever. Remember, anyone reads and doesn't review will be feed to the killer rabbit and blow up with the holy hand grenade on the count of Five!