How To Kill Off Legolas

by leggy-stinks

Suffering from Writer's Block? Can't quite figure out how to kill off Legolas? Then YOU need leggystink's guide to killing off Legolas! Yes! All your solutions are in THIS little fanfiction, so click on this link and end your Writer's Block today!

Legolas is annoying and despicable. Legolas needs to be killed off somehow. An array of options is available for just this purpose.

Option I

Legolas is skipping merrily along the pathway. Legolas spots a pretty yellow flower on the ground. Legolas is attracted to the pretty yellow flower. Legolas stops to sniff the pretty yellow flower. Legolas is stung by a bee. Legolas's face feels like it's on fire. Legolas takes out a mirror. Legolas peers into the mirror. Legolas's face is swollen and disfigured. Legolas has a heart attack. Legolas dies. Everyone rejoices. The End.

Option II

Legolas is skipping merrily along the pathway. Legolas spots a bush filled with shiny red berries. Legolas is attracted to the shiny red berries. Legolas stops to pick and eat the shiny red berries. Legolas chokes on a shiny red berry. Legolas dies. Everyone rejoices. The End.

Option III

Legolas is skipping merrily along the pathway. Legolas spots a shiny metal object. Legolas is attracted to the shiny metal object. Legolas runs into the shiny metal object…which just happens to be the axe of an Orc. Legolas dies. Everyone rejoices. The End.

Option IV

Legolas is skipping merrily along the hallway. Legolas sees a mirror. Legolas spots his reflection in the mirror. Legolas is attracted to his reflection. Legolas runs up to his reflection. Legolas crashes into the mirror. Legolas falls down in a daze. Legolas gets up and clears his head. Legolas sees a mirror. Legolas spots his reflection in the mirror. Legolas is attracted to his reflection. Legolas runs up to his reflection. Legolas crashes into the mirror. Legolas falls down in a daze. Legolas gets up and clears his head. Legolas sees a mirror. Legolas spots his reflection in the mirror. Legolas is attracted to his reflection. Legolas runs up to his reflection. Legolas crashes into the mirror. Legolas's eyes roll up into his head. Legolas dies. Everyone rejoices. The End.

No matter how you slice it, in the end, Legolas always dies and everyone always rejoices. This is the only part that matters - the happy ending. So the next time you're writing a Legolas fanfiction, remember…Legolas dies and everyone rejoices!

Finis.