Disclaimer: Neither Austin Powers or Star Ocean 2 belongs to me! They are the property of their respective companies. I just thought it would be cool to combine the two fandoms into a coherent yet senseless story. The later Austin Powers movies after all are just one big party of craziness... with a plot. Anyway, on with the show!
Prologue
Cut to the blackness of space, save for the Earth just out of view. We see a long, metallic shaft of a spaceship with two round thrusters that looks just like-
Whazzzzzam!
The ship somehow finds a space/time vortex and transcends both distance and time and arrives just above none other than the planet Expel, in the future, for all to see....
Bystander: Huh!? What is that thing!? Floating up there....
Priest: The Hand of God?
Bystander: ... No, more like the Wang of Tria!
Priest: Good Lord....
That's right, folks... Dr. Evil and Mini-Me are back... and this time, Expel is their target....
The Return of Dr. Evil
ACT I
Cut to the kitchen in Alan's mansion, in Salva. Rena and Ashton are seated; enter Alan.
Alan: Dinner will be almost ready, sorry about my chef taking forever like that. He's a new hire.
Rena: No problem.
Ashton: I'm fine with that, but Gyoro and Ururun are getting restless.
Rena: Oh, I'm sure they'll be fine, they've endured much more over the course of our adventures after all. Remember Gyoro's time in Giveaway? Or the near-exorcism, for that matter?
Gyoro and Ururun peck at Ashton's skull.
Ashton: Aak, please don't make those two peeved at me! But you're right, they should be fine now by comparison....
Alan: Aah! Here he comes now!
Enter chef. He pushes a cart towards the table, atop of which resides a covered bowl of sorts. However, he lifts the cover to reveal not food, but a sword! Picking it up, he charges at Rena....
Ashton: Watch out!!!!
Rena, however, had no trouble parrying his attack with her hastily-equipped Cestus. She then grabs him into a headlock - he isn't going anywhere now.
Alan: Phew, that was close.
Rena: WHO SENT YOU!?
Chef: You'll never know!
Rena: Hey, wait a minute, I recognize you! You were one of those thugs back in Herlie who worked for Zand! And I bet... you're still working for him.... dum dum derr
Chef: Urg... (faints)
Ashton: Looks like we need to visit the King... we've got a situation here.
Rena: That's not a bad idea.
Alan: Wait, won't you stay for at least dinner?
Ashton: Oh, I suppose so! As long as Rena doesn't mind an unconscious man lying face down in front of her!
Rena: ....
XXX
Cut to some sort of Ice Cavern. Dr. Evil is seated at the 'head' of a round table. Not long afterwards, all of his main henchman enter the room and seat themselves around the main table.
Dr. Evil: Hello everyone, and welcome to my sub-arctic HQ. As you know, this world isn't the Earth we were raised on my our mommas, no... this is the Planet Expel.
Frau: How did we get here, Doctor?
Dr. Evil: You have all been bought back by a process I like to call... "cloning." Everyone here besides myself and Mini-me have been... 'cloned...' since it was just Mini-Me and I that crashed here. Come to think of it, Mini-Me, it would have been fun to clone you as well, but you're already a frikkin clone for god-sakes....
Mini-Me: ....
Dr. Evil: It's frikkin freezing in here, too. Can't someone turn up the frikkin heat for once?
Frau: I'm standing by, Doctor!
Dr. Evil: Right....
Number 2: Dr. Evil, we've already gathered evidence that one of the great Kingdoms of the planet, Lacour, has developed a vast super-weapon capable of enormous potential. Such technology can't be found anywhere else on the planet.
Dr. Evil: Would it be a lot like a laser by any chance?
Number 2: Of course.
Dr. Evil: Cool! If we claim this "laser" for ourselves, we can hold the world ransom and thus take it over!
Scott: Here we go again! This is exactly what you tried last time! If only you'd just not jump into things so much....
Number 2: He's right. It's not that simple. Lacour's security is already super tight thanks to recent threats from unrelated sources. There's not enough of us yet, Dr. Evil. There are others that want the control that we seek, however, that could prove as invaluable allies....
Dr. Evil: Sounds a lot like a plan, yeah. And with no Austin Powers to thwart us, all of Expel shall be mine. Huhwa-hwa-hwa....
Huhwa-hwa-hwa....
Huhwa-hwa-hwa....
Huhwa-hwa-hwa....
Huhwa-hwa-hwa....
Huhwa-hwa-hwa....
Huhwa-hwa-hwa....
Huhwa-hwa-hwa....
XXX
Cut to the Cross Castle Throne room. Ashton and Rena have told King Clother of their dilemma.
Clother: So it seems that you were specifically targeted, Rena. But they underestimated you.
Celine: As Queen and a former treasure hunter, I'd like to see an infiltration done on Zand's mansion, to weed them out once and for all.
Rena: Celine....
Clother: She's right. Best to strike while the iron's still hot.
Ashton: So we will lead a bunch of your men in order to capture Zand's minions, like a round-
up?
Clother: Precisely. It looks like we've also underestimated him because his men have done nothing wrong in some time; the time has come to correct that mistake for Cross' sake.
Celine: We'll leave at midnight and hit Herlie a few hours later. It'll be a stealth mission, basically.
Rena: Sounds like a plan.
Celine: Oh! One more thing that I meant to tell you darlings... a few months ago an unidentified flying object was pointed out near the Southern regions of Cross, did you guys hear anything about that?
Ashton: Really? We haven't. Rena and I have been in Mars and have only been as south as Salva recently.
Clother: We don't know if this has anything to do with Zand, or if it will in the future. Although it was reported that the object crash-landed, no debris have been found. So... just be careful. We'll be sure to send out our best soldiers to help you.
Rena: Thanks, Celine. Clother. I really appreciate it.
Celine: You saved my father after all, Rena. But even if you didn't you've still done so much for me. The fact that I'm even with Chris here, for example, was the result of your help.
Rena: Tee-hee... no biggie.
Ashton: I guess we'll go ready our supplies now and meet up with the team later, then. Gyoro and Ururun are already prepared for sure.
Clother: I'd like you to meet the commander of our elite soldiers. Rena, Ashton... I'd like you to meet....
Enter a tall, lightly armored man with blue hair, whose expressionless face is highlighted by his blue eyes.
Ashton and Rena: Dias!
Celine: (smiles)
XXX
Cut to a night shot of the exterior of Zand's mansion. Rena, Ashton, Dias and a dozen other elite soldiers all sneak up to the structure.
Dias: Remember, kill nobody if possible. The King prefers there to be no bloodshed.
Soldier: We'll take the flank on your call, sir.
Rena: Everyone seems to be sleeping... the lights are all out.
Dias: Unusual even for Zand. Best to proceed with caution. Alright, Alpha Unit, move out!
Seven soldiers move away from the rest of the group, out of view.
Ashton: What about us?
Dias: We shall enter through the front.
The locked door proved to be no match for the group's might, and was felled with barely an effort.
Dias: Seems to be nobody here....
Rena: Even all the furniture's gone!
Ashton: He must have... relocated? But why? How could he have known?
Enter Alpha Team, looking ready as ever.
Dias: Let me guess... nothing.
Soldier: No people, no furniture, but we did find something really foul!
Dias: Oh?
Soldier: A golden toilet seat base, the lid gone with all the other furniture... and the messiest dump I ever did see. I'm telling you, it could have not been of this world....
Rena: (whispering between Dias and Ashton) It just might not have been.
Dias: We must investigate the matter at once.
Rena: (whispers) Hear me out on this one... I think we should bring some of the stuff back with us.
Ashton: (whispers) Gross! But why?
Rena: (whispers) Celine might be able to find out something with her Heraldry.
Dias: Very well then. This is getting stranger by the minute....
What could this mean for the protagonists? Stay tuned....