Dlbn here with another fic! This is what happens when you watch too much Dr. Phil and play too much Kingdom Hearts. A bit of Organization XIII bashing is in here, but it's just for humor. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Dr. Phil. The Kingdom Hearts characters belong to Tetsuya Nomomura and Dr. Phil and his wife belong to themselves. I own nothing but the plot

Twelve members of Organization XIII sat on folded metal chairs in the main hall of The Castle That Never Was, one hot summer day. Roxas and Axel shared one of the chairs in the back, much to the distain of Larxene, the only female member of the organization. With Vexen drunk as usual and Lexaeus high as usual, nothing was going to go smoothly at this meeting. What else was new? Zexion and Demyx stood a bit too close in the shadows towards the back, not unseen by the others. Xemnas wouldn't be happy with that, but he'd deal. Somehow. Xaldin left the meeting hall every five or ten minutes to go to the bathroom and wash his hands, which drove the jittery Saïx nuts. It wasn't like the guy would die without washing his hands every five or ten minutes. Marluxia fixed his hair in his pink handheld mirror, oblivious to the world around him.

Xemnas, a tall man with silver hair, walked into the meeting hall, wearing his white lab coat from the school he taught summer school at. One by one, the other members of the Organization stopped their conversations and looked to him. Axel pulled Roxas a little closer on his lap, making the younger boy flush at what he felt pressed against his backside.

"You're all wondering why I'm here, aren't you." Xemnas wondered.

"Ditching work again?" Commented Xigbar with his fake pirate accent.

"No!" Xemnas flushed darkly. "And loose the accent. You're not at that damn theme park!" He cleared his throat. "It's been a stressful year for all of us."

"What's your point?" Axel wondered, fingers twitching in desire to play with his lighter…or with Roxas' ass. Whichever was more convenient.

"I say we all take a break." Xemnas muttered. "How about going to our beach house?"

"What beach house?" Vexen questioned, words slurring.

"The one we have in Twilight Town. Remember?" Xemnas wondered. "The big one with one too many windows?"

"No."

A few snickers here and there.

"Whatever." Xemnas sighed. "We leave at 20 hundred hours tonight." He strutted off without another word.

"When in the world is that?" Roxas wondered. "I wish he wouldn't talk military to us."

"Talk military?" Larxene rolled her eyes. "Speak proper English, would ya?"

"I'd know proper English if I cared to go to school…and I don't care for that much at all."

Larxene snarled. Axel gave her a look that clearly said 'Touch my boy-toy and I set you afire.' She backed down.

"Oh, come on Larxene." Demyx called from the back. "Give the kid a break! You know you're only mad at him cause he's got Axel."

Zexion elbowed the sandy haired boy in the side. "Shut it!" He hissed.

Larxene pulled out her throwing knives. "What did you say, Water Boy?" She wondered.

Lightning crackled outside, though it wasn't raining.

"You heard me." Demyx laughed. He obviously thought this was all fun and games. "You wanted Axel's help and he wouldn't help. But now Roxas has him and you're not happy. You don't like to loose, if I recall."

She snarled again, but she knew he was right.

"Hey, if we're leaving tonight, we should get going!" Marluxia announced, jumping from his seat. "Last one finished is a Somebody!" He skipped out of the room.

"Even I'm not that flamboyant…" Roxas muttered.

The other Organization members stood as one. Time to go.

Roxas rummaged through his and Axel's bedroom closet, trying to locate a suitcase among the clutter. He could've sworn it was in there somewhere!

"Hot, hot!" Axel cried from the bathroom.

Roxas looked up in time to see Axel throw a rag into the tub, covered in fire. He sighed. If Axel wasn't burning rags and other garbage, he was burning the Axe Body Spray he tended to put on his arms for that purpose only. Dating a Pyro sure was a fulltime job…but at least the sex was good…

"Are you done in there?" Roxas questioned. "Cause I could use some help!"

"With your pants?" Axel poked his head out.

"No!" Roxas glared at him, blushing.

"Oh." Axel ducked back into the bathroom.

"Axel! I'm serious here!"

"Alright, alright." Axel walked out of the bathroom and flopped down on the bed closest to Roxas.

They really didn't need two beds, since they just slept together, but it took too much effort to take one out anyway.

"That's not helping." Roxas rolled his eyes and went back into the closet.

It wasn't really a big closet, but that was probably because the mess took up most of the space. You needed to tie a rope to the bed post and bring the other side in with you just to get out of the thing.

"What am I supposed to be helping with?" Axel flicked a match with his thumbnail and stared at the flames.

"Finding the suitcase."

"What suitcase?"

"The brown one that looks like it belongs to a Hobo." Roxas answered. "You know, the one I rescued from the garbage?"

"Oh." Axel smiled sheepishly and went into the bathroom. He came out with a charred suitcase.

"Axel!"

"What?! I wanted to see what happened when you combined Axe with fabric and set it on fire!"

"Fire happens when you put Axe on fabric and set it on fire!"

Axel flushed. "It was fun."

"What are we gonna put our clothes in now?" Roxas moaned. "Sometimes you don't put any effort into thinking."

Axel threw the suitcase back into the bathroom. "I never think…unless we're in bed, of course. I always devote 100 percent to thinking of things to do to you." Axel's eyes wandered.

Roxas flushed again. "Stop." He ordered.

"Make me." Axel took a step foreword, smirking.

"Maybe tonight." Roxas smiled slyly.

Axel went to his side and kissed the boy. His tongue danced over Roxas' lip and into his mouth when Roxas permitted it. Roxas wrapped his arms daintily around Axel's neck. For some reason, gentle wasn't what Axel really wanted. Maybe all those years of setting Axe on fire on his arm had made him a masochist. Roxas pulled back and ran his hands up and down Axel's thin arms.

"We should probably keep packing." He muttered.

Axel pulled him closer by the waist. "Yeah, you're right." He kissed the corner of Roxas' mouth.

Roxas kissed him again. Axel walked him backwards until they crashed onto the bed. Fun time…

Dlbn: Well there you go. Part one of my epic (????????) new story. Read and review, please, and let me know what you think!

Dlbn
^_^