PART I
"I've come to see Doumyouji."
The world revolved around this one moment, or so it seemed to Tsukushi. Her fists clenched hard to keep it from spinning out of control.
"Let me see him, please."
She couldn't help the "please." Although she didn't want to have any respect for this lady - this lady who might as well be a monster, picking lives instead of roses - it was too easy to curse at her. That had been Tsukasa's way of doing things, but it wasn't hers. Besides, she refused to sink to a new low even to defeat this woman. That would be resorting to the same tricks the witch had, and Tsukushi had to show her that she wasn't the scum the witch thought she was.
At least, that was the line she kept repeating to herself over and over to disguise the fear in her heart. There was a sort of spell this woman carried around her person that made everyone in her vicinity fall down and beg for mercy. Tsukushi did not want to be prey to that... she couldn't afford to. But still, even with all her strength, she couldn't help but say "please."
The woman eyed her warily, and lifted one of the roses in the bundle she'd gathered to her face gently. "You want to see him," she said. Back and forth, back and forth the flower went, just one loose petal brushing against her face. It fluttered over her lips and came to a halt. "You've come here expecting that I would see your determination, see that you have come all the way across the world, and suddenly undo everything I have worked to protect since you forced your way into our lives." Kaede bit down on the errant petal. "You are a fool, Makino-san. A fool."
"Let me see Doumyouji." Tsukushi did her best to make it sound like an order this time. Her nails bit into the flesh of her palm as her fists tightened further.
"I will tell you about determination," Kaede said, beginning a stately walk toward her. "Determination is about protecting your family no matter _what_..." with this she thrust the blooms in her hand toward Tsukushi... "may presume to get in your way. Determination is knowing what is best for your children, even when they themselves may not know. And determination is knowing you have built a castle that no one can break down. From without," she added meaningfully, "or from within."
Tsukushi felt she could see that castle behind Kaede, rising to impressive heights at the merest gesture. Walls rising of stone and moats flooding with water, shutting itself off from the rest of the world. Could this woman who built castles out of thin air be defeated? But there was no choice. She had to be.
"I don't understand you," Tsukushi said in a hardened voice. "Why can't you let your son be happy?"
"Happy?" Kaede seemed to choke on the word. Then she laughed aloud. "Are you presuming to tell me that you know how to make Tsukasa-san happy? That you know what is best for that boy?" There was something goulish about her laughter that made Tsukushi shudder. For the first time, she felt like the witch was letting her demonic smile show, cracking the mask of alabaster that had maintained its perfect place all this time. Her stomach turned.
Then, the smile turned truly evil. Kaede narrowed her eyes to slits, and her thin lips nearly turned white as they went taut. "Very well," she said in a frigid voice. "You wish to see Tsukasa-san? Let us go see him."
Tsukushi wanted to be happy. She was following Kaede into the main entrance of the house, across an endless marble floor and up stairs lifted from some old, glamorous silent movie. And she was on her way to see Tsukasa. This is what she came here to do, she said to herself over and over. She'd succeeded. But she couldn't be happy about it. That smile had been too evil. How could she be happy when the witch was so obviously planning something?
She was reminded somewhat of Hansel and Gretel. Lured by the promise of something sweet under this roof, she followed the witch into her own lair. Tsukushi had a sudden image of Kaede cackling evilly as she shoved her into an oven. She shuddered.
"Tsukasa-san is currently undergoing special executive training at the Doumyouji Corporation," Kaede narrated as they entered a dark room with several screens laid out against the walls. "He is at the office, but we can view him from here." She tapped a screen just out of Tsukushi's line of sight, and a blue glow illuminated her face.
It wasn't that Tsukushi's heart didn't sink at the thought that she wouldn't get to meet him face-to-face. More than anything she wanted to look into those eyes again. But it was so much closer than she'd been, and the chords of her emotion were wound up so tightly with suspicion, that she couldn't afford herself the disappointment. So instead of protesting, demanding to be brought to him in person, she wrapped her hopes around the screen that Kaede now beckoned her to approach. Gulping her remaining hesitation into a lump in her throat, she nodded and walked over.
Tsukushi had thought over and over about what it would be like to see Tsukasa again after all this. What had this witch done to him? Had she locked him in a room surrounded by armed guards? Chained him to a wall? She couldn't help but think the worst... there was no way she would see anything less than an utter horror.
But nothing could prepare her for what she finally saw on that screen. Tsukasa was.... Tsukasa was...
Tsukasa was.... smiling.
There was a pretty blonde American woman next to him, holding out some papers for his perusal. He looked them over and made a comment. The lady replied, and they both laughed. Tsukushi's heart sank as she saw his smile... it was his genuine smile, that laughing, almost childish face, that she thought belonged to her alone. He was happy. And all at once Tsukushi was in the witch's oven. She had never suspected what had truly been behind that delicious gingerbread door. The heat flooded her body.
"As you can see," Kaede said with some satisfaction, "he is adjusting very well. He has applied himself to the task at hand, and is proving to be a natural in the art of executive management."
Tsukushi's hand moved of its own accord to brush the face on the screen. It winked out beneath her touch as Kaede pressed a small button on a nearby console. And she was left in the darkness. No more Tsukasa, no more screens - nothing but stark blacks and whites, and the otherworldly gleam of Kaede's red lipstick as she spoke.
"This is Tsukasa-san's future," she said. "He will be doing this the rest of his life. It is where he is meant to be. Even you should be able to see that, Makino-san."
(That smiling face...)
(That was a smile of pure happiness.)
"You must know by now that he will not be able to attain that future if you tie him down, Makino-san. There is too much he needs to do, too many places he must go, to become ready to take the reins of this corporation. I have placed my hope in him, and I see now that I was not mistaken." Kaede stroked the dark screen as though it were her child. "Surely you must know what it is to believe in him too, Makino-san. That may be the one and only emotion we share."
Tsukushi didn't know what to think. All of a sudden this woman was talking like a mother. A businesslike, calculating mother perhaps, but a mother nonetheless. And she couldn't pretend she didn't know what it was to believe in Tsukasa. That was the emotion that had brought her to this shore. But before she had a chance to respond, Kaede moved in for the kill.
"Now, Makino-san, I ask you. Will you take that away from him? Will you deprive this boy of his destiny by selfishly insisting you be together?"
Tsukushi's world drained away and disappeared.
Her eyes stopped seeing. Wide open and blank, they registered no light, only a profound dark nothingness yawning like a cavern all around her. Perhaps the gleam of that lipstick was somewhere in her peripheral vision. But everything else was dark, dark, darker than the inside of the blackest heart.
She was defeated.
Not only was she defeated, she was soundly defeated.
There wasn't a single thing she could say to argue with this woman. She had no more cards to play, no more fire blazing within her, as though an icy wind had passed its hand over her like the Angel of Death. The witch was right. She was right.
She loved him. And she wanted him to be happy. But there he had been, on the screen, happy. Without her. Looking comfortable and at-home. Without her. Having found something besides her that fulfilled him, made him a part of the world.
She had been everything to him for so long that all of a sudden she wasn't sure who she was anymore.
Kaede faded from the picture. Matters of pride and battles between the rich and poor disappeared entirely. For so long, his world had revolved around her, and she'd struggled to be free of it. Now it was the opposite. Now she had traveled that endlessly turning world for him. And the chain that she imagined binding them seemed more like a shackles... her weight keeping him from soaring.
She began to cry.
"I've come to see Doumyouji."
The world revolved around this one moment, or so it seemed to Tsukushi. Her fists clenched hard to keep it from spinning out of control.
"Let me see him, please."
She couldn't help the "please." Although she didn't want to have any respect for this lady - this lady who might as well be a monster, picking lives instead of roses - it was too easy to curse at her. That had been Tsukasa's way of doing things, but it wasn't hers. Besides, she refused to sink to a new low even to defeat this woman. That would be resorting to the same tricks the witch had, and Tsukushi had to show her that she wasn't the scum the witch thought she was.
At least, that was the line she kept repeating to herself over and over to disguise the fear in her heart. There was a sort of spell this woman carried around her person that made everyone in her vicinity fall down and beg for mercy. Tsukushi did not want to be prey to that... she couldn't afford to. But still, even with all her strength, she couldn't help but say "please."
The woman eyed her warily, and lifted one of the roses in the bundle she'd gathered to her face gently. "You want to see him," she said. Back and forth, back and forth the flower went, just one loose petal brushing against her face. It fluttered over her lips and came to a halt. "You've come here expecting that I would see your determination, see that you have come all the way across the world, and suddenly undo everything I have worked to protect since you forced your way into our lives." Kaede bit down on the errant petal. "You are a fool, Makino-san. A fool."
"Let me see Doumyouji." Tsukushi did her best to make it sound like an order this time. Her nails bit into the flesh of her palm as her fists tightened further.
"I will tell you about determination," Kaede said, beginning a stately walk toward her. "Determination is about protecting your family no matter _what_..." with this she thrust the blooms in her hand toward Tsukushi... "may presume to get in your way. Determination is knowing what is best for your children, even when they themselves may not know. And determination is knowing you have built a castle that no one can break down. From without," she added meaningfully, "or from within."
Tsukushi felt she could see that castle behind Kaede, rising to impressive heights at the merest gesture. Walls rising of stone and moats flooding with water, shutting itself off from the rest of the world. Could this woman who built castles out of thin air be defeated? But there was no choice. She had to be.
"I don't understand you," Tsukushi said in a hardened voice. "Why can't you let your son be happy?"
"Happy?" Kaede seemed to choke on the word. Then she laughed aloud. "Are you presuming to tell me that you know how to make Tsukasa-san happy? That you know what is best for that boy?" There was something goulish about her laughter that made Tsukushi shudder. For the first time, she felt like the witch was letting her demonic smile show, cracking the mask of alabaster that had maintained its perfect place all this time. Her stomach turned.
Then, the smile turned truly evil. Kaede narrowed her eyes to slits, and her thin lips nearly turned white as they went taut. "Very well," she said in a frigid voice. "You wish to see Tsukasa-san? Let us go see him."
Tsukushi wanted to be happy. She was following Kaede into the main entrance of the house, across an endless marble floor and up stairs lifted from some old, glamorous silent movie. And she was on her way to see Tsukasa. This is what she came here to do, she said to herself over and over. She'd succeeded. But she couldn't be happy about it. That smile had been too evil. How could she be happy when the witch was so obviously planning something?
She was reminded somewhat of Hansel and Gretel. Lured by the promise of something sweet under this roof, she followed the witch into her own lair. Tsukushi had a sudden image of Kaede cackling evilly as she shoved her into an oven. She shuddered.
"Tsukasa-san is currently undergoing special executive training at the Doumyouji Corporation," Kaede narrated as they entered a dark room with several screens laid out against the walls. "He is at the office, but we can view him from here." She tapped a screen just out of Tsukushi's line of sight, and a blue glow illuminated her face.
It wasn't that Tsukushi's heart didn't sink at the thought that she wouldn't get to meet him face-to-face. More than anything she wanted to look into those eyes again. But it was so much closer than she'd been, and the chords of her emotion were wound up so tightly with suspicion, that she couldn't afford herself the disappointment. So instead of protesting, demanding to be brought to him in person, she wrapped her hopes around the screen that Kaede now beckoned her to approach. Gulping her remaining hesitation into a lump in her throat, she nodded and walked over.
Tsukushi had thought over and over about what it would be like to see Tsukasa again after all this. What had this witch done to him? Had she locked him in a room surrounded by armed guards? Chained him to a wall? She couldn't help but think the worst... there was no way she would see anything less than an utter horror.
But nothing could prepare her for what she finally saw on that screen. Tsukasa was.... Tsukasa was...
Tsukasa was.... smiling.
There was a pretty blonde American woman next to him, holding out some papers for his perusal. He looked them over and made a comment. The lady replied, and they both laughed. Tsukushi's heart sank as she saw his smile... it was his genuine smile, that laughing, almost childish face, that she thought belonged to her alone. He was happy. And all at once Tsukushi was in the witch's oven. She had never suspected what had truly been behind that delicious gingerbread door. The heat flooded her body.
"As you can see," Kaede said with some satisfaction, "he is adjusting very well. He has applied himself to the task at hand, and is proving to be a natural in the art of executive management."
Tsukushi's hand moved of its own accord to brush the face on the screen. It winked out beneath her touch as Kaede pressed a small button on a nearby console. And she was left in the darkness. No more Tsukasa, no more screens - nothing but stark blacks and whites, and the otherworldly gleam of Kaede's red lipstick as she spoke.
"This is Tsukasa-san's future," she said. "He will be doing this the rest of his life. It is where he is meant to be. Even you should be able to see that, Makino-san."
(That smiling face...)
(That was a smile of pure happiness.)
"You must know by now that he will not be able to attain that future if you tie him down, Makino-san. There is too much he needs to do, too many places he must go, to become ready to take the reins of this corporation. I have placed my hope in him, and I see now that I was not mistaken." Kaede stroked the dark screen as though it were her child. "Surely you must know what it is to believe in him too, Makino-san. That may be the one and only emotion we share."
Tsukushi didn't know what to think. All of a sudden this woman was talking like a mother. A businesslike, calculating mother perhaps, but a mother nonetheless. And she couldn't pretend she didn't know what it was to believe in Tsukasa. That was the emotion that had brought her to this shore. But before she had a chance to respond, Kaede moved in for the kill.
"Now, Makino-san, I ask you. Will you take that away from him? Will you deprive this boy of his destiny by selfishly insisting you be together?"
Tsukushi's world drained away and disappeared.
Her eyes stopped seeing. Wide open and blank, they registered no light, only a profound dark nothingness yawning like a cavern all around her. Perhaps the gleam of that lipstick was somewhere in her peripheral vision. But everything else was dark, dark, darker than the inside of the blackest heart.
She was defeated.
Not only was she defeated, she was soundly defeated.
There wasn't a single thing she could say to argue with this woman. She had no more cards to play, no more fire blazing within her, as though an icy wind had passed its hand over her like the Angel of Death. The witch was right. She was right.
She loved him. And she wanted him to be happy. But there he had been, on the screen, happy. Without her. Looking comfortable and at-home. Without her. Having found something besides her that fulfilled him, made him a part of the world.
She had been everything to him for so long that all of a sudden she wasn't sure who she was anymore.
Kaede faded from the picture. Matters of pride and battles between the rich and poor disappeared entirely. For so long, his world had revolved around her, and she'd struggled to be free of it. Now it was the opposite. Now she had traveled that endlessly turning world for him. And the chain that she imagined binding them seemed more like a shackles... her weight keeping him from soaring.
She began to cry.