"Five Years Later, The People Of Zephilia Packed Into The Capital Square - For The Grape Festival Was Fast Approaching And The Great Prince Val Was To Announce His Fiancée."
"Val, as in Valgarv? A prince?" Phibrizo queried, praying that he heard wrong, due to his fever.
"Yup. And Rezo And Zelas As The King And Queen." L-sama genkied. What? Of course, 'genkied' is a word, L-sama Says So!!
".... that's just sick."
"I Know."
The crowd gave a collective murmur of respect as their heir apparent made his way to the balcony. His impressive form was enough to suck the breath out of young girls and old women alike - and any appearance by the young prince often sent the crowd into a wild uproar. His Not-Physically-Aging-But-Mentally-Corroded parents King Rezo and Queen Zelas followed him.
Zephila itself had once been a rogue and undeveloped nation. But thanks to expansive wine groves and brute magic force, the once backwater country had become a world power. All of its citizens knew magic on at least on a basic level, and by tradition, the royal family was kept pure with the strongest of mages.
"Good citizens," Val started, ignoring the swooning peasant girls. "Through our Magic as a people, Zephilia has grown strong. To maintain this strength, it is my solemn duty as Prince to keep the Royal bloodline strong. But as a man, it is my duty to marry for love. And now, fated by the gods, I can fulfill both duties. Your new Princess, once a commoner like yourselves - the Sorceress, Lina!"
Trumpets blared, and the crowd cleared a path as the Sorceress Bride walked out of the right gate's door and directly through the people. As she mingled through the commoners in her finery, the girl was making a symbolic promise to never forget her origins and to be a fair queen.
Lina's once bright eyes were as flat as glass. At one time, she would have been exalted to see people on their knees and giving the Sorcery Genius her due respect!
But... She slowly looked up at Val's smirking face.
It just wasn't there anymore.
"Even Though The Law Of The Land Gave Prince Val The Right To Choose His Bride, Lina Did Not Love Him."
"How sad," Phibby muttered, blowing his nose. (Due to his cold of course? Sheesh, what were you thinking?)
"Do You Have A Heart?" L-sama glowered, angry at the Hellmaster's rather frequent interruptions.
"No. You created me to be cruel."
"Oh Yeah... Ahem 'Despite Val's Assurance That Lina Would Grow To Love Him," L-sama read "Lina Only Found Joy in Practicing Magic. However, Monthly Experiences Sometimes Rendered Such Feats Impossible - "
"Why is that?" Phibrizo questioned, blinking innocently.
"... I'll tell you when you're older."
Hellmaster scowled - he was the oldest of the Dark Lords and he couldn't know?! Whining was considered, but considering that he would be trying the Creator of All's patience, he wisely kept his mouth shut and allowed the Deity to continue Her story.
"During These Periods," L-sama stressed.
Blank green eyes just waited for her to go on.
"Hopeless," She muttered before continuing. "During These Periods, Lina Took Long Rides Into The Country Side."
Lina swiftly rode through Zephilia's forests, taking no notice of its unequaled beauty. Irritated, she tugged at the skirt of her dress - it was quite difficult to ride in finery, and thus the scenery was a little hard to admire.
However, out of place objects - or rather people managed to catch her eye. Lina slowed her mare down to a halt, eying the trio warily. They were really quite a sight - a girl with short black hair wearing far too little, a handsome blond, and ... a fishman of all things.
The little vein in Lina's head bulged to dangerous proportions as the girl bowed and showed off a little too much of her… assets. How was skimpy black leather ever a good traveling outfit? "Pardon me, m'lady," the stranger greeted, orange eyes gleaming. "We are but four weary circus performers - "
"I'd believe it," Lina snorted. "But there are three of you."
".... My bad," the girl laughed, embarrassed. "Anyway, uh, are there any villages around so that we might rest?"
"No," the sorceress answered, bored and ready to leave.
"Nyahaha! Then no one will be around to hear you scream! Gourry! Noonsa!"
"Hey! Get away from me!" the red head yelled, kicking the blond man in the face. Unfortunately, the lack of balance sent her off of her saddle and...
Fell into the arms of a fishman, of all the ridiculous things.
"Leggo! Leggo! LET-MWPH!!?" And thus, Lina's shrieks were cut off by the infamous Fishy-Kiss-Of-Death. But happily Noonsa revised it to the much more simple and less deadly Fishy-Kiss-Of-Unconsciousness. Wasn't that nice? ^_^
Eris smirked to herself as she finished planting the torn and muddied crest onto Lina's horse. "Git!" she yelled, sending the mare galloping back into the woods, hopefully towards the castle.
"Uh, what was that you put on the horse?" Gourry questioned, loading the final supplies onto the boat.
"The Crest of Elmekia," Eris answered, hopping onto the vessel.
"Who's Elmekia? And won't he be mad that you took his clothes?"
"Bah!" Eris shrieked, face faulting onto the deck. "Elmekia is a country, you fool!" she yelled, tugging at her hair in anger.
"It is?"
"The sword enemy of Zephilia!"
"Who's Zephilia? She sounds cute."
"ZEPHILIA IS A COUNTRY TOO!" This time Eris tried her luck on Gourry's rather luxurious blond locks.
"Ah.... where is it?"
A random vein popped out onto her head, but she persevered to explain anyway. "That," Eris pointed to the soil on which they were docked. "Is Zephilia. And that," she pointed across the sea, "is Elmekia. When the prince finds the Elmekian crest, he'll think soldiers kidnapped his lover. Upon finding her dead on Elmekia's shore, his worries will be confirmed!"
"You never said anything about killing her!" Noonsa yelled, drawing up the sail.
"It's none of your concern!" she countered.
"But I don't think it's right to kill an innocent girl."
"Excuse me?"
"I don't think it's right either," Gourry quipped.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did the word 'think' escape either of your lips?" Eris snapped. She first turned her rage on Gourry. "When I first found you, you brainless oaf, you were too drunk to buy ale! And YOU!" she screeched at Noonsa. "You're a FISHMAN who left his tribe in order to make his fortune above the surface. Do you want to go home a failure?"
"No," Noonsa sniffled.
"Good! I hired the two of you to help me start a war - a very prestigious job, I assure you. Besides, this is the perfect revenge on King Rezo for choosing that blonde floozy over me and letting his son marry her," she motioned to Lina. "Thus ruining my chances of ever getting into the king's pants!"
Needless to say, her employees just stared at her, dumbfounded.
Remembering she forgot to take the 'Stop Raving Aloud' wonder pill, she snapped: "Get back to work!" and stomped off to take said pill as they sailed off the shore.
"Don't worry about her, man," Gourry soothed, slapping the fishman on the back.
Noonsa nodded, and did what he always did to keep sadness at bay. He preformed a graceful pirouette.
"Hey! You're really good at that!"
"Think so?" Noonsa smiled, eyes shining. Someday, yes someday, he would be the greatest ballerina known to man!
"Sure!"
"Cut that out!" Eris commanded.
Hurt by her harsh tone, Noonsa broke down into a lovely rendition of the Waltz of the Sugar Plum Fairy. With Gourry clapping in the background, it was so easy to stay in rhythm!
"I said CUT IT OUT!"
Hours, later, long after sunset, the four of them relaxed on deck, Lina only keeping quiet out of fear of Noonsa smooching her again.
"Will you stop that? It's unnerving," Eris muttered to Gourry, whom kept looking over his shoulder and into the sea.
"I think we're being followed," the young man murmured.
"Ludicrous. No one from either country knows what we've done."
"But there's a ship out there."
"Ludicrous!" Eris cried, rushing up to where Gourry sat. Sure enough, there sailed a small ship in the distance. "Um... it's probably just a fisherman out for a leisure sail... at night.... in Naga infested waters.
And of course, at this time, Lina took the opportunity to hurl her person into the water, fully prepared to swim to one shore or to the other.
"Go after her!" Eris shrieked.
"I don't swim!" Gourry panicked.
"And I just ate!" Noonsa wailed.
Sweatdrop "Veer left!" Eris commanded, hanging over the deck to watch the fleeing sorceress.
"Left?" Gourry called at the wheel.
"Right!"
"Right it is!" And lo, the ship did turn to the right.
"NO, NO, NO!! LEFT! LEFT!!"
"But you said - "
"LEFT!!" she screeched, smacking him upside the head.
Lina shook her head and ignored the circus behind her, her concentration focused solely on getting to a shore.
But that was before something brushed her leg.
The sorceress came to a frightened halt in the water, looking around desperately as laughter filled her ears. "O-HOHOHOHO!"
"Hear that, princess?" Eris called.
"Hear what?" Lina countered as arrogantly as the situation would allow.
"OH-HOHOHOHO!!"
"Uh, maybe," she squeaked, treading water.
"That is the laughter of the sea serpent Naga," Eris explained, her orange eyes glowing with malice. "She laughs before she strikes and devours her victims. Swim back now and no harm will come to you, I doubt she will give you such an offer!"
"OHOHOHOHOOOO!"
"Oops, too late," Eris muttered, snapping her fingers.
"AAH!" Lina threw her arms up in a meager defense as the high-pitched and overly proportioned serpent invaded her personal space.
"...She Doesn't Get Eaten, You Know," L-sama laughed, wiping the expectant smile off of Phibrizo's face.
"Mother!" he cried, crestfallen. "Did you have to take away the only possible joy I have in this story?"
"Yes."
"Ah-choo!"
"Heh. Punishment Is A Bitch, My Dear. Now, Where Were We...
"AAH!" Lina threw her arms up in a meager defense as the high-pitched and overly proportioned serpent invaded her personal space.
"OH-HOHOHOHO!" yelled a male voice.
"HoHOHO?" the Naga questioned, pausing in the middle of her attack.
"oh-HO-oh-HOO!!"
"HOOOHO!"
Forgetting about the small girl in the water, Noonsa and Naga engaged themselves in meaningful conversation (which incidentally gained Noonsa the serpent's number). While his friend worked it, Gourry pulled the shivering Lina back onto the ship.
"That was real bright!" Eris snapped, tying Lina's wrists together to ensure no future breakaways and just incase that time of the month was soon over. "You think you're brave or something?"
Lina shook her head so that she could look her captor in the eye, but her bangs remained plastered to her face. She was seeing red, literally. Contenting herself with the fact that if she had her magic, the trio wouldn't stand a chance, she merely shrugged in response.
They next morning, they all arouse bright an early to Gourry's observation that.... "Hey Eris! That ship's still there!"
"Ludicrous!" she gasped, running to the ledge. Sure enough, there it was, closer than the night before.
"It's almost on top of us!" Noonsa panicked.
"Well, he's too late, see!?!" she cried, pointing dramatically. "Look - it's the Cliffs of Sudden and Unexplainable Mental Illness!"
"That's a silly name for a cliff, Mother," Phibrizo observed, still disappointed that Lina hadn't been killed yet.
"Yeah, And Phibrizo's A Real Winner."
"Mother!"
L-sama just smirked to Herself and continued reading.