Title: The Progression of Uchiha Sasuke
Series: Naruto
Summary: He started off as her stalker... and then he managed to become her rival. Then, somehow, her best friend (sort of... maybe) and now her crush. She totally wasn't slow! Che, damn teme. Their relationship in two year intervals.
Pairings: SasuFemNaru, KakaIru (vaguely), KibaHina, SasuSaku (a little bit...)
Warnings: AU, FemNaru, a bit OOCness, will contain profanity... quite a bit at that...
AN: I should've been working on No Matter What. I'm completely aware of that... but I needed a short break. I've been stressing with school and this sort of helped so yeah. :P Hope you enjoy it. Inspired by my friend... because the first portion happened to her albeit in a less dramatized way.
The Progression of Uchiha Sasuke
The Stalker and the Stalkee - age nine
"Hit me."
"Oh, but I'd much rather kiss you!" The silver haired man grinned pervertedly, eyebrows wriggling. "So how about a smoo-"
"Kakashi!" The man blushed, looking scandalized. His face turned red making the scar running across his nose stand out.
A loud slam resounded about the table, scattering some of the cards. "Hatake. You will deal correctly, dammit!"
Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Hai hai, Tsunade-hime," he replied sarcastically. "Geez, just take the fun out of everything."
"Fuck you."
His nose wrinkled in disgust. "No thanks. I don't like hags." Saying this was bad enough if the gleam in Tsunade's eyes was anything to go by, but, of course, Kakashi just had to keep going. "I mean, you have a nice pair of breasts and all but I much prefer a man's, like Iruka-kun's here for instance, di-"
Two fists hit his face with the appropriate amount of speed and strength. He flew across the room.
"Shut the fuck up, you shitty assw-"
"There are kids here!"
This, of course, brought forth protesting from said kid.
"I'm not a kid!"
"Oh please! Like she hasn't heard worse!"
"Dammit-"
"Oh just deal already!"
Once everyone settled down once more, the game resumed.
Swish.
Seven.
Lips quirked up in victory as his hand reached across the table and reeled in the winnings consisting of money and booze. Lots of booze. A round of groans rang across the table. A forehead hit the wood with a loud smack.
"DAMMIT! WHY! WHY DO I ALWAYS LOSE!"
Naru sighed as she gazed boredly at them. "It's cause you're the Legendary Sucker, old hag. The day you actually win is the day that the apocalypse is coming and cows fly with frogs for spots and slugs for feet."
Tsunade turned around with a deadly glared at the blond haired brat. "Dammit gaki! Don't you have anything better to do than just stay here?"
Naru rolled her eyes, scratching her head. "Yeah yeah. I'm out already, damn hag. I don't wanna be here and watch this pitiful game anyway. Make sure your breasts don't start sagging by the time I come back."
Needless to say, a shoe hit her on the way out.
-----------
The blond whistled as she made her way around the hotel, gazing around at the sights. In the corner of her eyes, she caught site of a raven haired boy about her age headed the same direction as her. He was staring at her resentfully. She raised an eyebrow but otherwise ignored him, thinking up pranks that would oh so fun to pull on people. An unholy grin lit across her face.
An hour later, it was sort of hard to ignore the boy. At first, she thought he was just headed in the same direction. But... to be going the same way for an hour? She even circled around the hotel twice and still he was following her. What the fuck?!
Brows coming together, Naru picked up her pace a little faster. The boy did the same. Her eyes widened. 'Oh god.. I know I'm awesome and all that, but why is he following me! Is he a stalker? But he's my age! Oh my god! I know, he's got a bunch of old farts who want to do perverted things to me waiting and he's just following me so they can get me later! I bet he's got like... a tracker or something on him! Oh my god!
By now, she broke out into a full out run, attracting the attention of security. "Hey you! No running is allowed in here!"
She ignored him, picking up the pace into a sprint. Her stalker did the same. Security started to run after her. Five minutes later, a parade had started consisting of her, her stalker and security. A few vases broke.
Her salvation came in the form of a pair of silver doors that were just starting to open. She could almost hear the hallelujah choruses. 'Thank you, God!'
Naru leaped in between doors and ended up ramming some people. She ignored their curses and started rapidly pressing the close doors button. 'Come on. Come on. Come on!'
The metal doors started to draw closer together. She sagged in relief. Just before the elevator door fully closed, a hand shot through, much to her dismay.
Ten minutes later, it was only her and the raven haired boy in the elevator. She'd been too scared to get off on her floor. No need to help the asshole anyway. Out of the corner of her eyes, she stared at him.
He looked... pretty actually. A bit cold.. but pretty. He was glaring at her. Her eye twitched. Okay, that was enough. Taking a deep breath, she swung towards him and gave him her most spiteful glare.
"Alright, teme! What the hell do you want? Why the fuck are you following me like some sort of perverted asshole?!"
Her stalker just raise an eyebrow in disbelief. Her fists clenched. She wanted an answer dammit! And she wanted it now! She growled at him, her teeth bared.
"WELL?!"
He smirked at her superiorly. "... Hn."
She lunged at him just as the doors opened. "Naru... what the hell are you doing?"
Slowly... ever so slowly... Naru turned around to stared at the intruders, her hands still grabbing the collar of her stalker. A sense of dread came over her as she stared at the group of adults standing at the door. Some were drunk off their ass (those were okay, they wouldn't remember shit the next morning), but most were staring at the pair. Some were grinning pervertedly. Fuck.
"There you are, little brother-"
"I knew we raised you right!" a man with long white hair cried out, wiping an imaginary tear away. Damn. When had that pervert shown up? "I was getting worried with your tomboyish ways but-"
"I know what you mean, Jirarya-sama. I completely understand." The scarecrow wanna-be nodded and sniffed dramatically. She'll kill him. She'll kill them both.
The doors began to close. "Make sure to use condoms! Safe sex is best!" rang through the elevator just before the doors closed. Silence reigned. Her hand was still clenching his shirt collar. Condoms...? Safe sex...? Sex....?! They were only NINE!!
She quickly let go of the boy's collar, backing away, face red. "Damn perverts," she muttered.
The elevator started to move down. "Umino-san told me to watch you and make sure you didn't do anything stupid."
Naru blinked, startled. She stared, mouth gaping slightly. "What...?"
Her "stalker" smirked at her. "I said, 'Umino-san told me to watch you and make sure you didn't do anything stupid,' dobe. I can see why if you can't understand the simple words that are coming out of my mouth. No wonder you need a babysitter."
Her face became increasingly red as the words finally sunk in. "I'm not a dobe and I don't NEED A BABYSITTER!"
Rivals - age 11
Humming happily, Naru plomped down into her seat, next to her best friend. "Ohayo, Sakura-chan!"
There was no reply. The blond's brows furrowed at this strange occurrence. No "Ohayo Naru"? No punch for being too loud in the morning? No nod? Where was her greeting, dammit?! She froze as a horrid thought came to her. Oh no! What if... what if... Aliens had taken over her friend!
Eyes wide, Naru whipped to face her best friend and was met with side of her face. The pink haired girl was staring off into space and had a goofy smile on her face. Her eyes were vacant. Swallowing the lump that had risen in her throat, Naru waved a hand in front of her friend's face. "... Sakura-chan...?" she whispered. No response. "Sakura-chan?!" Nothing. NO!
"SAKURA-CHAN!! DON'T LEAVE ME FOR THOSE ALIENS!" Naru wailed out in terror, wrapping her arms tightly around her friend. "DON'T FALL FOR IT!!"
Startled, Sakura jumped and hit her friend in the face. "BAKA! What the hell are you talking about?!"
Naru sniffed up the snot that had started to run down her nose. "Sakura-chan? Is that you?"
The pink haired girl raised an eyebrow. "Who else would I be?"
The blond beamed. "You're not taken over by aliens!" She cried out in joy, glomping her.
The more logical of the pair stared at her friend, gaping. Aliens...? What... No... she probably didn't want to know. She shook her head before perking up. "Oh my gosh! Naru! Naru! You wouldn't believe it! The most amazing thing happened!"
The whiskered girl's eyes widened, taking on a gleaming quality and her mouth began to salivate. "Ichiraku's giving out lifetime free ramen passes?!"
Sakura lifted an eyebrow. "Nooooo..."
Her friend wilted onto the table. "Then what could possibly be so good?"
She rolled her eyes. "You can be so weird at times. But anyway! On the way here, I bumped into the most cutest guy! EVER!" Her smile began to take on a dreamy quality as she traversed into her fantasy world. "He had silky, raven hair and the most beautiful onyx eyes. They were so deep! He had this aura of mystery surrounding him!"
Propping her head on a hand, Naru stared at her friend, both eyebrows raised. "What's your point?"
"He was cute!"
".... and...?"
"He's so cool!"
"And this is leading where...?" Naru scratched her head. She really didn't get where this was going....
Her friend huffed, glaring at her. "God! I should've known you wouldn't get it!"
Naru gaped. Wah...? "W-what!? Oh come on! Just tell me already!"
The girl just harrumphed. Before she could get any more out of her, the bell rang signaling the start of the class. Reluctantly, Naru turned to face forward, glancing at her friend through the corner of her eyes. Just what was going on with that girl?
"Good morning class! Please settle down." The teacher cleared his throat. "I'm happy to inform you that we have a new student transferring into our class."
Chattering broke out across the classroom upon hearing this statement. A new student? That was rare at this time of the year. Was it a girl? Or was it a boy. Oh how they hoped he or she would be cute! They wouldn't mind a bit of eye candy! Naru rolled her eyes hearing some of the things that were being talked about.
"Oi! Mizuki-sensei! Just get on with it already!"
The silver-haired teacher scowled at her. He'd never liked her for some reason. It probably had to do with that prank she'd pulled off on the first day of school. She chuckled at the memory. 'Yeaaaah... probably had to do with that.'
Mizuki cleared his throat. "Class! Calm down! Once you're quiet, I can bring in Uchiha-kun!"
Naru's brow furrowed. Uchiha? Why'd that sound familiar? Hmmm... Who could-
"Please come in, Uchiha-kun!"
The door slid open to reveal a raven haired boy with onyx eyes. A familiar raven haired boy with onyx eyes. Naru's eyes widened in shock and dismay as excited chattering broke out among the girls and Sakura shrieked, latching onto Naru's arm.
"Oh my god! Naru! Naru! It's him! The boy I was telling you about!"
The blond was vaguely aware of her arm being shaken up and down like a rag doll but couldn't really bring herself to care. Her eyes were glued to the boy who had just walked in. They narrowed. HIM! She never forgot the humiliation she'd suffered that day. A bloodthirsty smile made its way to her face as her eye twitched in irritation. It made quite a gruesome face.
Sakura stared at her best friend with concern. "... Naru? Are you okay?"
Snapping out of her murderous thoughts with a visible jump, Naru swung to face her pink haired friend. "Y-yeah! Just fine! What were you saying, Sakura-chan?"
The pink haired girl beamed at her friend. "I think I'm in love!"
The world turned black.
-----------
"NNOOOOOOOOO!!" She sat up with a start, hands clenching the pristine white blanket that was currently covering her legs. "Sakura-chan! Don't do it! Don't fall for the devil!"
A snickering made its way into her ear. Whipping around, Naru's face met a pair of fairly decent sized breasts that were just vaguely covered. A tongue licked her ear. "How tasty..."
Face red and a shiver going up her spine, Naru jumped backwards, head hitting the window sill with a bang. "Y-you! You! Pervert!"
The purple haired nurse (obvious from the white coat she was wearing) just laughed joyfully. "Oh... oh god! You.. you actually!" Unable to stop laughing, the nurse shook her head.
Pouting, Naru frowned at her. "What?!" she demanded.
"Thanks but no thanks. I don't go for little girls with little to no breasts." She emphasized this by pushing up her own, bringing out a red flush in Naru's face. "I prefer someone with something more... down there. Anyways. You're in the nurses office. I'm the nurse, Anko, so what I say goes got it?" She licked her lips, bringing out another shiver of fear.
"Where's Sakura-chan!" Naru demanded, hoping this creepy nurse hadn't eaten her friend.
Anko raised an eyebrow, amused. "You mean that pink haired 'friend' of yours? She dropped onto the bed and rushed off to fawn over that new kid. See for yourself if you don't believe me," she added, gesturing towards the window, upon seeing her face filled with disbelief.
Peering out the window, Naru was able to easily spot shocking pink of her friend's hair. And sure enough, she was fawning over the Uchiha. Her eyes narrowed into hateful slits on the Uchiha. He was taking away her friend! Hers! That was it! From now on, they would be rivals!
Best Friends... well... friends... kind of... - age thirteen
"Teme! How dare you treat Sakura-chan like that!" Punch. Dodge. Kick.
"What the fuck are you talking about dobe?" Flip. Fake. Tackle.
"Go! Naru! Beat that pretty boy's face open!" Flip over. Punch. Repeat.
"Shut up, Kiba! Don't talk about Sasuke-kun like that! GO SASUKE-KUN!" Kick. Push.
"You know what I'm talking about, te-" Pull hair. Drag back...?
"Narutooooooo! Stop treating Sasuke-kun like that!"
Knock out!
"A-ano..."
silence.
"Tch. Troublesome."
Rustle. Crunch. Munch.
And thus was the life of Konoha Middle School students, or genin as they were popularly called. Then again... they weren't exactly in Konoha. Their whole grade was currently on a field trip to Wave country, resulting in some stares at the usual fights that broke out between Naru and Sasuke. Not like they cared, really.
Kiba crouched down by the knocked out blond and poked her. "Hey.... Is she going to be okay?"
The rest of the class just shrugged before a groan escaped from her mouth. "Oh god... my head...."
Shizune, their chaperon for the day, just sighed, shaking her head. "Alright. I guess we should go back to the hotel. The rest of the day is free time. Come on, Naru."
Wobbling, Naru followed after the dark haired chaperon. Sakura stared off at the pair, frowning. "Maybe I hit a bit too hard...?"
-----------
Naru pouted in bed. It was all the teme's fault. If it wasn't for him, Sakura-chan wouldn't have hit her. And then she would've been able to participate in the annual scare-a-thon they were doing just now right outside in the woods. Dammit. It would've been the perfect time to scare the teme and reveal him to be the wuss that he was! She huffed before catching site of the open window that led right out to the woods. She grinned. How convenient.
Grabbing her supplies, Naru slowly climbed out the window, making sure no one caught site of her. Now! Onward to the meeting place!
Five minutes later, Naru found herself very lost. She was sure she'd passed that tree twice already. Huffing, she walked into another direction. "Dammit. Where the hell is everyone?"
Ten minutes later, an owl took her flashlight right out of her hands. Eyes wide, Naru ran after it. "COME BACK HERE YOU DAMN BIRD! ONCE I GET AHOLD OF YOU, I'LL CHOP YOU INTO- AHHHHHHH!"
-----------
Sasuke... was bored. It was almost no fun without the dobe. Dobe? What the hell was he talking about? He shook his head. Who the hell needed her to have fun? She's been trouble since day one! Hmph. He must be losing it. As he walked deeper into the forest, he heard a whimper. Eye brow raised in curiosity, he ventured towards the sound.
When he finally reached the noise, he stared. And stared. And stared.
"What the hell are you doing here teme?!"
He rubbed his forehead tiredly. This is what he got for being curious. A blond dobe in orange. "Shouldn't I be asking you that? Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"
She huffed looking away. "Let me guess.. You're lost."
She glared at him. "I so totally am not!"
He deadpanned. "Right. So which direction is the hotel in?" She pointed in the way he came from. "That's headed further into the forest." She sweatdropped.
With a sigh, he tilted his head in the opposite direction. "Hotel's that way. You coming or not?"
She winced. "Ah... about that..."
Fuck curiosity. It was bad luck.
-----------
"I can't believe you twisted you're ankle."
"Shut up! I fell down the cliff!"
"Because an owl stole your flashlight."
"Teme."
"Dobe."
"Asswipe."
"Bitch."
"Fuck you.... Hey..."
"Hn."
"Thanks... For, you know... this."
"Just shut up and go to sleep."
Smiling, Naru buried her head against his neck. Maybe the teme wasn't all that bad. After all, he was giving her a piggyback ride. He couldn't be that bad. Who knew... maybe they could even be friends, possibly even best... Even if he was a stalker... and her rival...
Chummy people were overrated anyway...
Crush - age 15
She watched aghast as the he actually accepted being fed. Something in her stomach turned at the site. It was... wrong. She didn't know why but it just... was.
"Jealous?"
"EWWWWW! Dammit, Kiba! Don't spit your food at me! Learn to fucking chew with your mouth closed!"
"Shit, you sound like my sister."
She rolled her eyes. "Maybe I should tell her about your manners, dog breath."
His eyes widened comically. "Fuck! You wouldn't! If my family found out, they might set the dogs on me!"
Snorting, she chomped on her lunch. "What's your point?"
"Those dogs aim for my bits! I need them to perform for-"
"K-Kiba-kun!" Hinata burst out, face red.
"AAAAAHHHHH! TMI! TMI!"
Naru whimpered pitifully, clutching at her ears in agony. The rest of the group stared at the couple with wide eyes. Kiba looked back, growling. "What?!"
"That's my cousin." Neji glared. Kiba gulped.
"Tch. Troublesome."
A few poundings later, the group settled down once more. "But seriously, Naru! You keep staring at the lovebirds like a freaking hawk. What's up?"
The blond scowled. "I totally do not!" The group glanced at each other. "What? I don't!"
Tenten winced before patting her on the shoulder. "Uhh... actually... you do."
She raised an eyebrow. "And why would I do that? Sakura and I haven't been friends since that night when the teme brought me back to the hotel on his back."
They grinned. "Maybe you're not jealous of him but of her!"
She tilted her head. "I don't get it."
"You like him!"
Uzumaki Naru... gaped.
-----------
"Like him, my ass!" she grumbled, switching textbooks out of her locker. "Who the hell do they think they are? So what if I kind of, just maybe, stare at them a bit. Anyone would! I mean, my icicle asshole of a best friend, the teme, was actually accepting being fed by his number one fan girl! Who wouldn't stare! It was disgusting! Ugh! Love! I'll show them! I so totally don't like him! ... and I'm not jealous!"
Click.
She turned around to face the grinner photographer. Her eyes twitched. "Sai."
"Naru-chan!" He tapped his camera thoughtfully. "Think you're dick's going to appear anytime soon, no breast he-woman?"
"I don't know, think going to live anytime soon?!" she growled. Slamming her locker closed, she turned on the balls of her feet and started her walk towards class.
"So... jealous of the new couple on campus, are we?"
"No." She glared at empty space. This asshole was so fucking annoying when he had his camera. Normally he'd be okay but she was in a particularly bad mood today.
Sai chucked. "I'd say you were."
"How about you-" Turning the corner, she was not prepared for what met her eyes. Fuck. Shit. Crap. Mothe-
Click.
"Who knew they'd make out in the hallway...?" Sai commented, raising an eyebrow. "Uchiha didn't seem the type to me at all."
Naru was silent, bangs covering her eyes. She wasn't looking at the couple. "Naru?"
"Fuck. They were right. Those assholes were right." She liked him. Crap.
Sai raised an eyebrow.
-----------
Three weeks later, the SS couple broke up. It involved much crying and shouting and accusations... all on Sakura's part of course. After all, an Uchiha is always calm and composed. And he was the one who chose to break up anyway.
"Oi. Dobe."
She picked up her pace.
"Dobe."
Faster.
"Dobe...." Was that a growl in there? Yes... Yes it was...
Running....
"Dobe!"
SPRINT!
"Dammit Naru!"
"Oof!" Naru stared up, eyes wide as cerulean met onyx. "You have my attention now..."
He glared down balefully at her. "You made me tackle you."
She raised an eyebrow. "I did nothing of the sort, teme. You could've trapped me in the elevator. You just chose to tackle be this time." He still hadn't gotten off of her. Why the hell did it seem like his face was getting closer.
"You're pretty slow."
She looked insulted at the affront. "I was so fast, you had to tackle me. How's that slow?!"
His face lowered even more. "I wasn't talking about just now."
"Any lower and you'll be kissing me, asshole."
He rolled his eyes. "You're point?"
"I hate you."
"You're slow."
"You're repeating yourself... I still don't get it."
He sighed, moving ever closer. "I've never liked Sakura."
Her brows furrowed. "Huh?"
"I've always liked your pitiful ass for some reason. She was to make you jealous," he added thoughtfully. There was a pause before, "Your friends all knew."
"They're your friends too! Wait! What?! Those assholes! Hang on a minute! Whose pitiful ass-"
Lips covered lips and that was that.
"..... I like you too, teme."
Snort. "I know."
The end
AN: If that ending seemed a bit rushed... that's because it was. :P R/R Please! I'd like some feedback on my first oneshot.