As the soft orange glow of the sun peered around the sides of the closed curtains, Kyle laid there, resting his chin in his hands. The sun is usually the biggest invite to go outside and play, but Kyle shunned any ideas that meant leaving his room. There was one person Kyle dreaded seeing; Stan. Stranger so, it wasn't because the two had a falling out. No, they hadn't fallen out in a long time. It was because of the opportunity Kyle had that he was too scared to take.
Three weeks ago, Wendy and Stan had broken up for the very last time. Stan recovered quickly, and everyone wondered why. It turned out that Bebe told Stan that Wendy had left him for Cartman, in which his surprising response was that he wasn't surprised. Cartman and Wendy continued to be paired for school projects, due to their 'fantastic planning skills' from the debate about the South Park flag, and this lead them to get closer and closer, until their feelings remained after their second kiss.
Stan and Kyle started hanging out almost every day ever since. This was great for Kyle at first, as he could spend as much time as he liked with his 'other half' (as Sheila Broflovski liked to call him). Kyle almost felt ready to tell Stan how he really felt about him... But thinking it through in his room has left him pinned there, left only in the company of 'what ifs?'. "What if he doesn't like me and he never speaks to me again?" - This thought is the thought that brings tears to Kyle's eyes and ties a knot in his stomach. Kyle knew he could deal with rejection and then being called a faggot by Cartman, and then the gay jokes from everyone. But the one thing Kyle could not do is live without Stan.
Ever since Kyle could remember, he loved Stan in a way that was stronger than friendship, even Stan would admit that. They became to see their bond as brotherly, but only since third grade had Kyle ached for something stronger than 'brotherhood' or friendship. He even started to have the same re-occuring dream;
They're in Kyle's room, playing a board game of some sort. It's a cold winter night, and they huddle up next to eachother. Stan accidently bumps Kyle's elbow, causing Kyle to knock over the characters. They start mucky fighting, rolling around, laughing. Stopping for a break, they breathe heavily and look at eachother. They close their eyes, locking hands, leaning in slowly...
Then the dream ends. Kyle had this dream atleast once every week. He would wake up feeling guilty and embarrassed, trying to forget about it. But he couldn't. He just couldn't help it. Kyle had desperately wanted Stan for so long that the dream was the closest thing to being with Stan. So were the fantasies that started having after the very first time he had the dream. They felt so real... Kyle could feel the breeze, feel Stan holding his hand... Sometimes Kyle believed, only for a second, that all that was possible. But recently, despite the dreams getting more frequent, Kyle's hope for a romantic relationship rapidly drained away.
He wallowed over everything in his room, laying on his side and facing the wall. A shiver accompanied by a tear made Kyle pull up his blanket over his head and close his eyes tight. Sheila Broflovski's loud voice startled Kyle and woke him, not knowing how long he had slept. Her voice didn't startle Kyle as much as the one that followed. "Hey Mrs Broflovski, can I see Kyle? He hasn't been out in almost a week. Is he feeling better?" Quizzed Stan, with a worried tone.
"Oh he's just unwell sweetheart, I'm sure he'll appreciate your company. Go right up Stanley."
"Thanks Mrs Broflovski."
Stan walked up the stairs, calling "Kyle? Kyyyllle?". Kyle squeezed his eyes tightly. Stan slowly opened the door "Kyle?" said Stan softly, closing the door slowly and carefully pushing it shut. "Kyle?". It was dark, but not dark enough to be night time. Warmth gradually filled the room. "Hey, C'Mon dude, wake up." Stan walked over to the bed and shook Kyle slightly. Kyle kept his eyes shut, clenching his fists and breathing heavily. "Dude?" Stan's voice raised and wobbled a bit, and he shook Kyle a little harder. "DUDE!" Cried Stan, virgorously shaking Kyle. His eyes snapped open and he sat up "WHAT!?" yelled Kyle, frowning at his best friend.
"Jeez, I just came to see if you're OK dude, if you don't want me here then I'll go." Said Stan. He tried to keep an angry tone, but the hurt in his voice and face was evident. He started to walk away from the bed. Kyle pleaded "No... I'm sorry... Please come back dude... Please?". Stan swivelled on his feet and walked back to the bed. "Dude, I've been seriously worried about you," said Stan, hoisting himself up onto Kyle's bed and putting his arm around him. "You haven't been out for a week and you're acting funny. What's wrong, Kyle?".
Kyle shifted a little, looking down at his bed "Nothing, I'm fine." Stan sighed "Dude, you know you can tell me anything, what's different this time?". Kyle bowed his head. "I... I uh... no... I guess I don't want to hog you from the others." He said weakly. Stan raised his eyebrow "Kyle, if I wanted to hang around with the others, I'd invite them. I've invited them before. Is it... Don't you want to hang out with me?".
Kyle's eyes widened "No no no no no! No, no... I still want to hang out with you-"
"Well then what's wrong? You're not yourself, dude."
"Nothing."
"Dude, come on."
"But Sta-"
"Please Kyle!" Begged Stan, turning Kyle to face him and putting his hands on his shoulder. "Kyle, you're freaking me out. I don't care what it is, please tell me." Kyle sighed and took Stan's arms off him. "Promise you won't freak out and tell everybody Stan?". "Of course not buddy. What's up?" said Stan, his face growing more worried. "Well... it's just...I-I..." Kyle held his own hands and took a deep breath. "I really like you a lot, like a lot. I wish I could be with you but you've been with Wendy and now you're not with Wendy I thought that maybe I could tell you how I feel but I knowyoudon'tlikemesojust... just... just go... I'm sorry Stan..." Kyle turned away, allowing his face to contort and tears of frustration roll down his face.
Stan just sat there stunned. After a minute of awkward silence and Kyle's sniffling, Stan replies "I... I like you too... B-But h-how will we work-" "You don't have to lie Stan." Kyle folded his arms in protest and turned away. "Dude, stop doing that!" Said Stan, turning Kyle back to face him. "Look dude, I'm not lying," he sighed and got off the bed, walking forward a few steps "I have liked for a long time Kyle, but I liked Wendy too. I didn't think you liked me, so I just dated her. But now that we're never happening again, maybe... maybe we could-"
"Stan, you said yourself we couldn't work-"
"Stop twisting my words Kyle! Look, just tell me. Do you love me or not?" Stan turned to reveal that he too was crying. "I... I love you S-S-Stan" wobbled Kyle. "Do you mean it?" Said Stan, hope visually lighting up his face. "I do Stan, I promise." The boys wiped their tears before Stan ran up to the bed and jumped on it, making the boys explode in laughter. As they calmed down, they looked at eachother and smiled in symphony, feeling butterflies in their stomachs. Kyle reddened and they both looked down to see that their hands were intertwined. When they looked up, their faces were just inches apart. Relieving a nervous giggle, they quickly went for it.
Stan clumsily landed his slightly rough lips and Kyle's baby soft ones then retreated. They both laughed and playfully rolling around, holding eachother tight. They landed on the floor with a thump and a synchronised "Ow", then their eyes locked again. Slowly this time, they both leaned in for a kiss. Stan took off Kyle's hat and ran his fingers through his matted curly hair, and Kyle took of Stan's hat to do the same.
Both boys broke away quickly when they heard "Boys? Are you okay up there?". Sheila was making her way up the stairs. They put their hats on quickly and rolled off eachother, quickly throwing some toys together so it looked like they were playing. Just seconds before Sheila opened the door, Stan threw up. A lot. Sheila gasped at the vomit pile on the floor. "Oh my goodness Stan, are you okay?" she asked. Stan meekly nodded, producing a tissue from his pocket and wiping his mouth. "I guess rolling around and kissing is hard work." Laughed Sheila upon seeing they boys' faces drop. "Don't worry boys, this can be our little secret. Until you're both eighteen atleast!" A sigh of relief came from both boys. "But Stan, your father said he wants you home soon." She exited the room, closing the door and proceeding down the stairs.
The boys looked at eachother. "I tried to hold it for you." Said Stan, the both of them letting out a weak laugh. "I guess you better go then dude." Kyle drooped clasping his hands together. "Well, uh... bye, Kyle." Awkwardly, Stan stood up and walked a few paces then stopped. "Oh to hell with that!" Exclaimed Stan, then running back to Kyle and planting a big kiss on his lips. They toppled over and kissed for what seemed to be forever, then pulled away as though their lips were glued together.
"I love you Kyle." Breathed Stan. "I love you too Stan." smiled Kyle. They sat up and hugged eachother tight. After a few minutes, Kyle patted his back. "Come on Stan, you got to go or you're going to be late." Stan pulled away, trailing his hands down the Kyle's hands and holding them. "I guess so." He kissed Kyle as he stood, slowly letting go. "Goodbye dude." Said Stan, waving and smiling. "Bye Stan." Smiled Kyle, waving until Stan had closed the door. Kyle smiled and blushed at what just happened before frowning and saying "Shit, I have to clean this up don't I?".