A/N: This is kind of a combo of The Mist meets Dawn of the Dead meets War of the Worlds with some time travel and mpreg thrown in. It's odd. Kind reviews are always nice.

Also, appearance wise, Eric = Rob Mcelhenney (Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia), before he gained a ton of weight, Lana = Mary Elizabeth Ellis (The Waitress from It's Always Sunny), and Sully = Sully Erna. At least, that's what I envisioned while writing this.

Thank you to Phish Tacko for beta'ing this.

Part 1 - The Store

Is there ANYTHING else that we could possibly need?" Eric asked as he placed a loaf of Wonder Bread into the cart.

"Hmm… Apples, some milk, and that should be it," His girlfriend, Lana, replied.

"Right. Okay," Eric agreed.

The two pushed through the relatively large crowd that had gathered in the supermarket that day. Eric briefly wondered why it was that so many people were here. Then again, it was a Sunday. A lot of people probably came to get their shopping done while they had some time.

As they walked to the produce section of the store, two men ran past them. One was dressed in a pirate outfit and the other was wearing an old fashioned looking black suit. The one in black seemed to be following the pirate, and both men bumped into Eric and Lana.

"That was weird," Lana said, watching as the two men walked into the same section of the store that they were going towards. "What's with the pirate getup?"

Eric shrugged. "It's Queens. Weirdos love it here."

As Eric and Lana went to pick out their apples, they noticed that the pirate was standing near them, eyeing everything around him. This caught Eric's attention. Most people didn't stare at fruit the same way this guy was. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the pirate grab an orange and slip it into one of the bags he was carrying with him.

Eric wasn't really going to say anything. The guy looked like he was possibly homeless, and Eric figured he might be crazy, so it was entirely possible that the guy was just hungry. Still, he had a rather large stomach, so maybe simply "crazy" just fit the bill.

As Eric turned away to help his girlfriend, the man in black made an appearance nearby.

"STOP!" He yelled, grabbing the pirate by the arm. "I saw you stealing."

The pirate rolled his eyes. "C'mon, mate. Let it go."

"I'd let it go if you were a child or one of the people that live on the streets, but you're quite obviously well fed," He said, poking the other man in the stomach. "Therefore you should not be stealing."

The pirate's eyes widened and Eric wondered if he might cry. He seemed like he didn't know what to say.

The man in black did the thinking for him, though. "Put it back or I'll get the store manager."

The sad looking pirate mumbled something under his breath, but reached into his bag and put the orange back.

"What was that?" The other man asked.

"I said, it's not for me. It's for the baby," The pirate said a little louder.

Well, that made sense, then. The guy wasn't fat. He was pregnant.

Eric decided to step up. He placed a hand on Lana's arm to reassure her, before speaking.

"It's okay, man. Just take it." He looked at the man in black. "I'll buy it for you. Get some other food if you want, too."

The pirate's mouth dropped open.

"…What's the catch?" He finally asked.

"No catch. Just doing a good deed."

"I can't believe you're going to buy food for a thief," The other man said, arms crossed.

Eric took a deep breath, and got about six inches away from the man, looking down on him. Eric was very tall and muscular, while this man was short and skinny. He tried not to laugh as the man cringed, probably afraid of him.

"What's your name?" Eric asked.

"Ichabod Crane. CONSTABLE Ichabod Crane."

"Well, Constable Ichabod Crane," Eric said, in a mocking tone. "You're an uptight asshole."

"I-I…" Ichabod stammered. He was afraid this guy was going to kick the shit out of him. "I was trying to do the right thing and ensure that this man obeys the law. He was clearly breaking it."

"And he's clearly pregnant and hungry, so maybe giving him some food would've been
the kind thing to do."

Lana could see that her boyfriend was getting a bit worked up, so she took his hand, leading him away so that he'd back off. "Just pay for the crazy guy's food so we can leave, alright?"

"Yeah, fine." Eric turned to see the pirate grabbing several pieces of fruit, totally oblivious to what had just gone on.

"Just come up to the counter with us and we'll pay for it," Lana told him.

"Thank you," The man replied, following them.

There was a long line. It felt like hours before they'd gotten to the front. It was when they finally did that there was a loud crash. The cashier dropped the bag of pasta that she was scanning and turned to face the window. Most of the people in the store did the same.

A police car had hit the side of the building near the large windows and the glass was beginning to crack.

"Oh, crap," Eric muttered. "I have to go help."

"I called 911!" Someone yelled.

"Wait for the medics!" The cashier warned.

Eric didn't pay much attention to them though. He and another male customer both ran outside, intending to help the occupants of the crashed vehicle.

The customers in the store began gathering around, watching the scene unfold.

"He's an EMT and a fire fighter," Lana explained as people began to mumble that Eric and the other man might get hurt. She noticed that the pirate was standing next to her, staring at the scene, while the constable was in the back of the crowd.

Eric and the other man – a shorter, thinner man with a plaid hat cap and numerous tattoos – began walking around the police car.

"I'm Eric," Eric said, introducing himself quickly.

"Sully."

"Okay. They're still in there. I think they're unconscious," He said. "We have to get them out and be careful."

"Right. Okay. I'm a Trauma Nurse, so…" The man said.

"Good. Let's get the driver out first."

Working together, the two men managed to pry the driver's side door open and pull the first policeman out, gently laying him out on the ground, careful not to move his neck.

"The other one's bleeding," The nurse noted.

"Damn. Okay. Hopefully the paramedics will be here soon to take him out."

Eric had just started to open the passenger side door, when the first cop, who'd been lying on the ground, suddenly sat up. Quietly, he stalked towards the two men.

"Holy shit. Watch out!" Sully yelled, seeing the cop out of the corner of his eye. Something in the policeman's eyes was different. His pupils were dilated and had a reddish tone to them. He looked as if something else was controlling his body.

"What the fuck?" Eric asked as the policeman stumbled towards him.

Back inside, everyone was watching in horror as the policeman slowly began to reach for Eric and Sully.

"I think that's one of those zombie-ETs," Someone said. Everyone turned to face the man. "The ones on the news. "

"I didn't think they'd get here so quickly…" A woman said.

"Hell, I didn't think they were REAL!" Someone else replied.

Thankfully, Eric had heard of this problem as well. It'd been all over lately, word that something had landed in England and that whatever it was had a strange effect on humans. The press had said that there was little chance of it spreading to America, but…

Eric quickly reached down and pulled the gun out of the second cop's holster. He shoved Sully behind him and aimed the gun up at the zombie.

"Back off," He warned. "I'll blow your brains out."

The zombie continued to advance, though, and drew his own gun.

Eric shook his head, closed his eyes, and pulled the trigger. The .38 caliber bullet shattered the zombie's head and the body collapsed to the ground, blood pouring out everywhere.

"Holy shit," Sully repeated, shocked. "Holy shit. Do you think the other one…?"

Eric took a deep breath and studied the unmoving person in the car.

"No. I don't think he's one of them. They probably responded to a scene with other zombies, and got infected… so there's probably more of them coming."

"We should get inside," Sully suggested.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. We need to start boarding the windows. Make sure everyone's secure. Can you help with that?"

"Sure."

The two men walked back into the store, into the crowd of onlookers.

"Bad news, guys," Eric said. "Looks like we're going to be here a while."