One : Something Similar to Flame

"I'm sorry. I miss you. Sometimes, these feelings sear through me and, I don't even know if they're mine. It's the darkness, inside me, plaguing me and I hope you understand and you probably won't but I just want you safe. I'm sorry."

When Rey awoke, tendrils of her dreams escaped her, melting into the drab grey room of the current rebel base. Ever since her last encounter with Ben, when she'd left him during the escape from Crait, she'd tried to sever her ties and maintain a constant barrier from him, but in moments like this, in the early light of the morning, Rey found herself somehow missing the steadiness of his wild locks of charcoal hair and his quiet nature.

Times when her subconcious tricked her into a haze of confusion. There was good in him, she was sure of it, she could sense its low hum radiating from him, cloaked beneath his dark clothing.

From the warmth in his touch that echoed with moonlight and assurance that one day, she might not feel so alone, during that night on Ahch-To as the gentle crackle of the fire spreading across dry wood enveloped the two of them.

From the security she'd felt in the throne room of Snoke, her trust in him undeniable and unfaltering, and the stability unknown to her that he'd generated as they'd fought side by side, sensing each others movements like that of someone they'd known from a long time ago.

And Rey couldn't shake the underlying closeness she shared with him, something alien to her, the feeling of intimacy that seemed to go beyond the connection they had gained from their force bond.

It was something she knew he'd felt too, at times when his barrier accidently fell for a few seconds and she could recognise the same comfort of the others presence along with something similar to flame. Warm, flickering, as though they were both scared to lose whatever strange thing they had, and electric, like a burst of energy that was unfamilar yet exhilarating.

Rey was also confused as to why she could still feel this bond with him, even after the death of Snoke. Ben was still in her mind, and despite the weak barrier she'd forced and her half-hearted attempts to eradicate him were futile.

Furthermore, another part of her didn't want him gone.

As much as she didn't want to admit it, she'd somehow found solace in the tall boy with sad eyes. And she was terrified of being abandoned again, just like she had been so many years ago by her parents, and her clumsily put together heart was scared of being alone again, without the only person who seemed to make it better.

By the stars, she was so damn conflicted. Everytime she'd tried to rip down the bond between the two of them, she'd remember his glowing features in the light of the fire, or the hurt in those hazel eyes of his when she'd closed the door of the ship.

She could feel his mind reaching out to her all the time, and her resolve was weakening. She was filled with a sense of longing, different to what she'd felt during all of those years at Jakku. It would be so lovely, just to see him again, just for a few moments. Maybe if-

"Finn?"

In the doorway stood Finn, his solid build resting on the wall as he smiled, before entering the room, and sitting on a chair next to her bed.

What had she been thinking? Ben was the same person who'd injured Finn, the first person she'd smiled at for a long time, who'd killed Han Solo, who'd taken her under his wing like the father she never had, who wished destruction upon everything she loved.

Rey raised herself to sit up, while listening to Finn talk.

"How's Rose?"

Finn looked up at her, pausing from his daily rant about how she had to stop staying in bed for so long. Hesitantly, he replied.

"She's doing much better, they say. She regained conciousness a couple times in the night but she's sleeping right now."

He stopped, and looked down at the floor.

"It's my fault she's like this anyways, if I hadn't been such a coward and gone to the escape pods in the first place-"

"It's not your fault. Aren't you glad that you know her? And she'll be alright."

Rey patted Finn's shoulder in the way that good friends do, until he eventually looked up again, his cheerful face returning.

"Yeah, of course. What am I even saying? Anyways, other than to moan at you, I'm also here because Leia wants to see you. Meet her at the balcony."

He stood up to leave, and grinned at her again over his shoulder before leaving. Rey was alone again, left with just the her labyrinth of thoughts and the boy who she couldn't forget.

hi to anyone reading this and thank you so much for taking the time. i wrote this last night purely because i haven't written anything in a long time and wanted to be creative again. i love reylo's dynamic so much and just wanted to write something again, so here's this. i haven't really edited and my ideas for this story are very vague, so yeah. thank you again, and have a good day. may the force be with you, always.