I apologize for any errors in advance. I'm posting this right after I wrote it, so I didn't really check for any grammar mistakes. Oh and the only thing I own is the awkward situation in which I placed J.K. Rowling's characters.

So, here goes nothing...

Sleeping With the Enemy

When he left his room that night, Albus Severus Potter had no intention of doing anything beyond getting away from his roommate's god-awful snoring. He had no plans to do anything in particular. No plans to catch anyone breaking the rules. And even less to catch some bird with her knickers around her knees.

Yet here he was, at two o'clock in the bloody morning listening to moans and groans coming from the Gryffindor common room. Said moans and groans put him in an awkward position. He could go back upstairs and listen to Nathan McLaggan let out snorts to wake the dead. He could also interrupt this shagging couple on his way to the corridor. Or, he realized suddenly, he could just as easily go fetch his father's invisibility cloak from its hiding place in James's trunk and attempt to sneak past the bloody idiots fucking in the middle of the common room.

Fetching the invisibility cloak was the easy part. Sneaking, on the other hand, was a bit more difficult. Somehow, despite the fact that he resembled his father in almost every way, Albus had inherited the Weasley klutz gene. He was bound to trip over something between here and the door, even if it was his own two feet.

For once in his life, though, Albus decided to throw caution to the winds and risk it. Little did he know how much he was going to regret that decision…

"Come on, Al." Rose grimaced. "It's not like you actually saw anything."

Her blasé tone was belied by the fact that her face matched her namesake. To hear Al tell it, he had caught her and Scorpius making passionate love in full view of the entire world. That, she had assured everyone gathered to hear his story, was not the case.

They were only kissing.

That she (the child of two-thirds of the Golden Trio) and the Malfoy heir (who just so happened to be Slytherin's equivalent of a golden boy) had, in fact, made passionate love on many occasions was completely irrelevant. Those little details were never reaching the ears of all the Weasley/Potter/Lupins gathered in this room. All they needed to know was that, at that particular moment in time, she and Scorpius were only kissing.

"Like hell I didn't see anything!" Albus objected loudly. "I saw you and that… that… that bloody ponce snogging like you were trying to eat each other's faces off. Bloody hell, Rose! I thought you hated him!"

Fred, Roxanne, Dominique, Lily, Lucy, Hugo, and even Teddy (who was actually a professor but seemed to forget from time to time) looked back and forth between Rose and Al with expressions varying from gleeful excitement to abject horror. Of course, Dominique was the only one who was excited, but that was because she had just won ten galleons off of three different people in this very circle.

Rose suddenly seemed to find her fingernails very interesting. "I never said I hated him…" She mumbled under her breath.

"Um, actually, Rosie," Teddy pointed out, "I recall hearing you scream that very thing. On multiple occasions."

If it was possible, Rose turned even redder.

"Well… I, er…"

"Exactly!" Albus shouted, suddenly forgetting that they were in a very public place. "You don't even have a good excuse!"

From his seat next to Teddy, Fred snorted. "Oh, she had better have a damn good excuse," he muttered, "Because I'm out ten galleons thanks to this mess."

"So am I!" Roxanne and Lily complained almost in unison.

"You're what?" Albus shouted hysterically. "Do not tell me the four of you bet on our bloody cousin fancying the pants off of that devil's spawn!"

Dominique and Roxanne exchanged glances, Fred shrugged, and only Lily had the grace to look sheepish. "Okay," Dominique told Albus easily. "We did not bet on our bloody cousin fancying the pants off of Malfoy."

"Thank G—"

Here, Roxanne grinned. "We did, however, bet on our bloody cousin snogging the pants off of Malfoy."

"There's a difference, you see." Lily put in helpfully.

Albus looked murderous. "It's official." He announced. "I'm disinheriting the lot of you."

This was met with laughs from everyone but Rose.

"You're disinheriting us?" Fred laughed. "Well, drat. I always wanted to inherit that bag of fleas you call a cat." This was said in reference to Whiskers, a cat belonging to Albus that everyone believed was older than its owner.

"And I wanted your dress robes," Roxanne joked.

Albus scowled at the group and made as if to stomp away. Unfortunately, his dramatic exit was ruined by the appearance of his cat. Not so much the cat, though, as the fact that Albus tripped over the squalling animal.

Another round of uproarious laughter ensued.

"Just try getting rid of us, Potter!" Fred called after him. "You'll soon find that family is forever."

Dominique grinned. "Yeah, after we write it on his forehead with a spell."

Soon, bets were being placed on how long it would get Albus to remove an irremovable spell from his forehead. Those for it said days, if not weeks. Those against it said that obviously he would get a professor to save him the embarrassment. Being Weasleys (and Potters and Lupins), they soon got into a loud and heated debate about the matter that ended with a sudden objection from Teddy.

"Oi!" He shouted loudly enough that every head in the courtyard turned to face him. "Shut up!" Suddenly realizing that he was a professor, he shook his head at his family's foolishness. "You lot can argue over this all you want," he said. "I've got work to do."

Dominique snorted. "Yeah, if you call mooning over my sister work."

"Speaking of work," Teddy replied in an extremely obvious attempt to change the subject. "Rosie here has quite a lot of it ahead of her."

"What! Me?" Rose squeaked, alarmed to have the spot light once again. She had rather enjoyed the five minutes or so where not a single one of her cousins mentioned the… er, incident with one Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy.

"Yes you, Rose." Teddy rolled his eyes. "I expect a full story of this ordeal with Malfoy later."

Rose rolled her eyes right back. "Do you want it on parchment or would you rather I give this recitation out loud?"

"Ten points from Gryffindor for insolence." Teddy retorted. "And I'd like this recitation done orally."

Lily let out a giggle and whispered just loud enough for the entire group to hear, "That's kind of the problem. I think it already was. "

Hugo almost choked and Fred grimaced. "Lily Luna Potter!" The latter chided her. He may only be Rose's cousin, but he thought of her like a sister. "That's disgusting."

"Of course it is," Roxanne snickered. "I'm sure Rose takes her Head Duties much more seriously than that."

That time, Rose almost choked.

"Rose?" Teddy spoke up.

"Yes?"

She felt as if she were going to puke. Or pass out. Or cry. Or even a combination thereof.

"If you don't mind terribly, I'd appreciate that recitation now."

Murmurs of agreement came from all involved. Cries of "Yeah, Rose!" and "Really? Malfoy?" and "This I have to hear," Could be heard all the way from the other side of the courtyard.

At that moment, Rose wished for the sudden reappearance of Albus. Maybe he was angry enough to Avada her on the spot. That would be much more preferable than having to tell this intimate story to four of her closest cousins and her own brother for crying out loud.

When Albus didn't appear, she wished for something, anything, to save her from having to tell this story. The big man in the sky either didn't like her or didn't hear her prayer because nothing happened.

"Okay…" Rose sighed, ignoring the cheer that went up at her words. "Well, it all started the day when I tried to hex Malfoy's bollocks off…"

"Oi, Weasley!" A sudden shout interrupted. "What's this about my bollocks?"

Fuck, Rose thought. She realized suddenly that she might not need Albus to kill her after all. She might just keel over from pure mortification.

"Well, well, well…" Fred grinned wickedly. "If it isn't our resident ferret…"