Disclaimer: I claim nothing. Twilight is strictly Stephenie Meyers's.

There was a short pause, as if the stranger wanted to withhold the information from me.

"He's at the funeral", the boy finally answered.

I shut the phone again.

Bella. Dead.

Bella. Dead.

Those two words kept pounding in my head like a hammer on my stone cold heart. How is this possible? I do not understand. She was supposed to live a long, happy life. She was supposed to be able to live after I left her not die.

I slowly rose from my corner infested with rats and spiders, weeks of dust falling off of me.

Meaningless. The whole world was meaningless. I am meaningless.

I tore through the door and walked down the stairs, ignoring the silence around me. I dialed a number on the phone while I stepped out.

"Airlines, how may I help you," a pleasant voiced answered.

"Edward Cullen. Italy. 163 489 5620. Now." I replied tonelessly.

"Uh, yes sir. The price will-"

"Now," I shut the phone and dropped it into the dump next to me.

With no regards as to who was looking at me I started to run. Every step I took, I imagined I may be closer to her. If I thought her name was a balm to me before, it now exposed my weakness. I could have saved her. I knew I could have saved her from whatever killed her. Her death was my fault. She died because I was not there. I am worthless.

I remembered the plans I prepared when I was hunting for James. Now, how should I do this? Lift a car, maybe? Or perhaps I need to destroy parts of the city in order to provoke them to kill me. Killing innocents really does not seem useful, yet…

I knew what I was doing. Just like her first day of school, I was trying to distract myself. Thinking about her death will only make it more real to me.

Ironic how before I was trying not kill to kill her and now I'm trying to kill myself, I chuckled humorlessly.

Bella. Cold. Still. Dead.

No. No. No. No.

I should do something that will aggravate the Volturri but will not harm others. There was no hope for me, might as well not drag others down with me into eternal hell.

I arrived at the airport and quickly took my ticket after relaying my information. I easily ignored all other outside voices. The flight to New York was in ten minutes. I rushed to the gate and gave the man my papers. Then, I finally settled in my seat to wait.

And tried to think of more ways to kill myself.