DOCTOR'S PRESCRIPTION
When I was standing there, at the threshold of the door to your makeshift room, I nearly regretted my decision of committing such a brazen act. What had prompted me to do such an outlandish thing? What madness had struck my silly childish mind? With every single nerve in my body on edge, my heart thundering in my ears, I obviously could not remember anymore. It did not matter, anyway—there just was no way for me to go back on my decision.
The pallid artificial lighting of the single lamp in that room casted a strange glow on my blue skin. The light seemed to smoothen every one of the tiny nuances of my skin, making it appear artificial… alien—even to myself. Everything from the ruined walls to the tiny mattress on the floor looked so foreign under that light—cold, flat, distant. Everything but you, Shepard.
You appeared so peaceful, vulnerable, so very warm and beautiful. Of course, I was looking at you through the biased eyes of love, but still, I was certain that you were the one beacon of warmth in a world that had become utterly cold and unforgiving.
After watching you for a few minutes, I finally took the first step toward your sleeping form. I could already sense the unease growing in you, and your body was beginning to react to it. Tiny twitches of your eyelids, your mouth contorting into a tight line, your hands clenched into tight fists. All resemblance of that peaceful appearance you had before was quickly vanishing into the ethereal blackness of your nightmares. Not long after the first signs, you rose from the bed, startled and gasping for air.
Seeing the horror in your face made me stop cold in my tracks. It was not every day that one got to see their knight in shining armor—the person that carried all hopes for a better life with them—feeling the one thing you thought they could not. Absolute, mind numbing fear. Your eyes were wild as you frantically scanned the room from side to side, yet you could not see beyond the nightmares that assailed your mind. You did not even see me, standing practically next to you. I hate to admit it but I was selfishly filled with dread at the prospect of you becoming like that, Shepard. Of you turning into one of us. One more of the simple mortals fighting a war against monsters that could undo entire planets and erase whole civilizations from existence.
However, I had to be strong. I was not there so you could give me anything. You had already given so, so much. To me, to everyone else, to an entire galaxy. No, I was not going to take a single thing more from you, not today. If anything, I was there to try and do something for you, to give from myself, to give you myself. So, I was strong and walked to you, banished all fear, all hesitation from my mind, and placed a hand on your shoulder.
"Shepard, everything is okay."
You immediately turned to look at me as if I were some fearsome apparition, but as soon as recognition crossed your eyes, your expression became schooled. A mask of calm and confidence. I would let you have your safe-haven for now, soon enough—if my plan was successful—your mask would be falling to pieces.
"Ah, Liara. What are you doing here?" You said while rubbing at your face with both hands.
"Shepard, are you okay?" I gently squeezed your shoulder in an attempt to be reassuring. I knew you would brush it off, but that was okay.
You ran both your hands along that red hair that has always fascinated me, then turned your sparkling green eyes to me. As you spoke, you produced the most beautiful and almost believable imitation of a smile. "Yeah, of course. You know I'm always peachy, just had a bit of a bad dream back there."
Oh, Shepard. Perhaps you were a good liar in everyone else's eyes, but to me you looked like the child that was just caught with its hand inside the jar of baked treats. It seemed that you forgot I am a scholar, and that my main field of study is people and their customs. You also forgot that I become very focused when I am passionate about the object of my study. Once upon a time I had loved Prothean culture, and I studied them for endless hours every day for decades. I love you, Shepard. It is only natural that my mind focuses intensely on everything you are, on everything you touch. So, I knew—unequivocally—that that was not just a bit of a bad dream.
I also knew what would come next. You would skillfully avoid the matter with some humor and then redirect the conversation down a different road. Trust me when I say I dreaded the joke almost as much as seeing you consumed by fear, because I knew what the topic of that would be. Still, I had to go through the motions.
"You know you can be honest with me, Shepard." I smiled and steeled myself.
"It's nothing, Liara. Honestly, you worry too much about me. However, might I ask what the hell are you doing walking around naked? Can you imagine what people would say if they were to find out?"
I had to be strong. Let the smirk slide, allow the gentle push of your hand that emphasizes the joke to pass through me, make my ears deaf to the sound of your chuckling laughter. Then, on top of all that, fight the river of blood going to my face. If you were to see me blush, my whole plan would fall apart. Breathe in, breathe out. Inhale deeply, retain the air for a second, then slowly exhale.
"Is that so, Commander?" I displayed my best playful smile—half pretending, half in true expectation of what was to come. Shepard, after I was done with you, you would not know what hit you.
Ignoring your protests, I slid under the covers and captured your body from behind. There was no way you would actually become loud in the makeshift barracks of the Alliance. Just a few paces away from your door were at least three dozen other soldiers sleeping. You would not dare making a public scene.
"Tell me then, Commander. What would the people say if they knew just how soft their fearless leader actually is." I punctuated my statement by swiftly moving my hands under the flimsy undershirt you were wearing, and then proceeding to capture and squeeze both your breasts. Of course I knew what the people would say if they learned how exquisite your body is, Shepard. They would all try to get you in their beds, every single one of them, and I already had enough people to fight and keep at bay just with those aboard the Normandy. They think, and even you think I do not notice. How wrong you all are. That is fine, though. That way they also overlook the measures I take to keep you for myself.
"Liara!" You berated through clenched teeth. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Commander!" I exclaimed in mock indignation. "I dare say it's pretty obvious, isn't it?" A throaty chuckle escaped my lips as I nibbled the side of your neck, which elicited one of the cutest sounds I have heard in my entire life. A sound I was going to make sure no one else would ever hear.
As you made to turn around and stop me, I hugged you possessively, keeping you in place. Slowly but surely I moved my lips close to your ear and whispered in it, making sure the warm air caressed the sensitive skin there. "You are mine, Commander, all resistance is futile."
I then slid my hand along the front of your body, all the way down to your undergarments. There I allowed my fingers to dance on the smooth and sensitive skin where the leg meets the hip. You squirmed deliciously in instantaneous response to my touch. Your resistance was nearly obliterated then and there. I could already sense your growing pleasure through our mental link, and I could already sense the hatred you felt along with it. You hated me for knowing you so well, for knowing your body down to the smallest nook and cranny, and you hated yourself for loving it so much.
The moment I touched the hem of your underwear, your hand shot down and captured my wrist.
"No." You said turning your face toward me to provide a pointed look.
"Very well, Commander." I said, feigning innocence. "Just a kiss, then."
"Ok. But then we go to sleep." Then you closed your eyes. How naïve of you.
As a bird of prey descends on its quarry, my lips captured yours with burning hunger. I allowed no time for second thoughts, and invaded the velvety and warm confines of your succulent mouth with my tongue. There we fought for dominance of the kiss, moist tongues lashing at each other in a passionate dance. A dance I know very well makes your legs weak. Therefore, between your ragged breaths against my cheek, I used the chance to steal away your panties. By the time you reacted, I had already taken them past your knees. It was already too late, and before you could protest any further, I mounted you and began kissing my way down your stomach.
While my tongue teased your navel, my hands expertly kneaded the soft flesh of your breasts, and my fingers deftly manipulated the already hardened peaks atop them. Some time ago I discovered this particular weakness of yours by mere accident, and I wholeheartedly intended to exploit it in full right then. The responses your body was granting my touches were like the most intoxicating wine. Having your exquisite skin under my hands, your heady scent filling my nose, and your beautiful voice singing in my ears was akin to an infant's joy. Careless, pure, self-absorbed to the point of rejecting everything else, including the world and time itself. It was only us, you and me, Shepard. Nothing else mattered.
Your mind was already lost in the sensations—the pleasure of my touch, the safety of my warmth, the love of my company, even the fear of being caught. You were so cute trying to control your voice so we would not be heard. Still, for all that your mind had already forgotten all the duties this selfish galaxy had dumped on your back, my work was but half done. So, I moved on to the next phase of my plan. The part where I would allow you at least a fraction of the respite you had been denied for so long.
I grabbed both your legs and rose them past your hips, and then pushed them until your knees touched your chest, all the while making my best effort to affect violence. Then, I took hold of one of your wrists and guided your arm so that it embraced your legs.
"Hold them," I instructed.
If this was in any way strange, you made no sign of refusal. As I gently stroked the back of your thighs with my hands, I lowered myself toward you. The scent was overpowering, alluring, it demanded the attention of my whole body, but I had to be strong. This part was crucial to my plan. Even though I flinched when the red and soft hairs touched my nose, I managed to stay in control and merely planted a kiss on the moist and flush skin. You moaned deliciously, and as I separated myself from you, I made the mistake of licking my lips. When I tasted you in them, I realized just how much I wanted you, Shepard. I craved you to the point of tears. That came as no surprise, really. For I love your every hair and I wish to learn about your every thought. I want to satisfy your every need and whim, and I want the same from you. But I had to be strong, so I did none of that. I merely stared down at you.
Once more you appeared so tender, so vulnerable, so very warm and beautiful. The words you spoke next, through ragged breaths and broken tones, crowned my victory.
"Liara, don't tease me."
I was so utterly happy, the broad grin on my lips was impossible to contain. "What do you want, Commander?"
"I want you."
"You want me to what?" I pressed on while using my thumb to tease your most sensitive spot. "Say it clearly!" After voicing the crazy demand, I increased the pressure of my thumb.
Propping yourself on your elbows as best as you could in the position I was holding you in, you focused your eyes on me. They were burning with intensity, and your flustered face was full of exasperation and need. "Damnit, Liara! Stop teasing me! I want you to do me, okay?"
Still, I could not allow myself to break at the first sign of frailty. "Oh? Well, Commander, but only if you ask nicely." I teased you some more with my fingers.
You gasped, then retorted in a breathless voice full of lust. "Liara, make love to me. Please."
"That's better." I reveled in my victory, and it surely was showing on my face. "Just one more thing. Say that you belong to me, to Liara."
A pause. A moment of silence that became almost everlasting in my head. It probably was just a few seconds, but to me it appeared as if time were stretching into infinity. There had always been an unspoken agreement of respect between us. Give and take, as you said. Some form of intangible rule that neither would vie for control of the relationship. That no member of this partnership would stand above the other. I was breaking all the rules and hoping it would be worth it in the end.
You turned your gaze away from me and your rosy lips produced the faintest of words. "… I belong to Liara."
"You are a good girl, Commander." I could finally allow myself to soften, to be weak once again, to smile honestly—and to finally let go of the breath I had been holding for what seemed like the entire time I was there.
With your legs still pinned against your body, and while still smiling softly, I delicately claimed your lips. Then, for the second time that night, I began a path of tender kisses down your body. Conversely, even though I was allowing myself to be loving, I kept a strong grip on your legs. Keeping you pinned was important, you had to learn your place. In any case, I had finally broken you—in no small part due to the mental link we share—so I could let go of myself at last. Now I could give you what we both wanted so much.
"Embrace eternity."
That night, after I was done, you slept peacefully, entirely oblivious to everything. As you once said, you slept like a child. There were no more nightmares, not even a semblance of them. Even if it had all been pretense, even if through our joining you managed to glimpse a fraction of that truth, I managed to give you the reprieve you so direly required. I claimed you, took all control away, and for a moment you were free. Being the tip of the spear for so long is something not even you could do, Shepard. Most likely you did not consciously realize this, but by surrendering yourself to me, you unburdened yourself if only for a moment.
When our minds melded, I was able to see the tangles of your mind unravel, at least to some point. It was something small, just an instant of freedom from all the responsibilities of a galaxy in flames, and I could only hope it was enough. You were going to need all the clarity your encumbered brain could muster, because if you were to make the wrong choice at the end, Goddess help us all. It was not as if the fate of the entire galaxy could be decided by choosing among an oversimplified array of color coded choices. No, this was not some child's game. We all had to give our best and then give it again.
I love you, Shepard. I knew that in your eyes my gift would probably not seem like the best I could give, but then again you would have never accepted that you were already at the breaking point. Taking just a little load off the shoulders of someone who already had so much on them seemed like the best course of action. Besides, you did not need to understand. After all, once this war was over, there was going to be plenty of opportunities for explanations and apologies. I was certain that we would meet again. So far you had always managed to beat the odds, no matter how adverse, and this time was going to be no different. It was not as if something had changed since your previous crusade to save the galaxy, or as if your life had been scripted to end by some foul unsympathetic entity.
When we parted ways the following morning, you said nothing about what transpired that night, but your face held no negative emotion toward me. You were the same person you had always been, and if anything you were smiling more. How could I not believe we would meet again. I love you, Shepard.
FIN