A/N: What a heart wrenching scene the King's left us with! This is a little hommage to that last scene, accompanied by the song 'Unrequited Love' by Lykke Li, as used in the episode 'The Wheels of Justice'.
Disclaimer: Song and characters are not mine. None of it is.
Summary: Once again it's happening, this love is unrequited. It was just a call Will, something work related. People call. It doesn't mean anything. You know that. She wouldn't call you to tell you any of the things you keep dreaming of. They are dreams for a reason.
This Love is Unrequited
Once again it's happening
This love is unrequited
I never intended to fall in love with him. I had done everything in my power to stop that feeling from growing. Everything. I had fought so hard for this to stop, but all the fighting didn't help. I thought my feelings were buried deep enough to never resurface. But they did, and stronger this time around.
The worst part of it all is that he has no idea. I told him it needed to end, and that I was able to decide that. He had always wanted me to see things differently. He had told me there would always be possibilities, that we didn't need a plan and that we could work things out. I never allowed myself to listen to any of that, I couldn't. It wasn't me.
But it was me. And he had known that all along. He has always known me. Better than I ever knew myself. Without really realizing what I'm doing, I take my phone and call him. Just like that. The phone rings. Once. Twice.
"Hello?" O God. There he is. I wasn't preparing for him to pick up. And now he did.
"Will, are you busy?" What do you want to say Alicia, think of something to say.
"Um… no, what's up?" I don't know. I don't know what's up.
"Nothing. Um… just… something with work." Why did I make that sound like a question. This is not going well.
He doesn't respond. But then I hear someone in the background. A woman's voice. And then I recognize her. It's Laura. I need to hang up. Now.
"I will call you back. I'm fine," I quickly say end the call, catching my breath.
I close my eyes. Is this some stupid cosmic joke? Reality is definitely kicking in. Stop fantasizing Alicia, it doesn't get you anywhere.
Oh, the shame this crying game
Oh, my love I've been denied it
Oh, my love is unrequited
I catch my reflection in my office window. What just happened? Did I say something wrong? As I put my hand in my pocket, I feel my phone. Alicia. That happened. That made her tense up. That made her leave.
I take a deep breath in and stare into my own eyes. I don't even care. I didn't feel anything when Laura said she wasn't being honest. I didn't feel anything when we kissed. I only felt something when I heard her voice. Alicia, when she asked me if I was busy. She didn't even have to kiss me or touch me to make me feel like that. She makes me feel alive.
I glance at my phone. No other calls, no other texts. Just that one call. Call her back, I tell my own reflection. But I don't move. Because I shouldn't. She'll think I'm trying it again, to get back into her life. That would be stupid. It was just a call Will, something work related. People call. It doesn't mean anything. You know that. She wouldn't call you to tell you any of the things you keep dreaming of. They are dreams for a reason.
Another inch in this dwell
I know it all too well
When once again it's happening
What am I going to do? Sit here all night, Laura's voice resonating in my head, wondering what they're doing together? That's pathetic Alicia.
If only he knew that I'm thinking about him. He swallows me up. I want him here. Next to me. I want him so bad it hurts. But he'll never know. I don't have the guts. For a moment there I did, but bad timing got me once again. We're not supposed to be, we never were. It's time to come to terms with that.
All my love has gone divided
All my love is unrequited
I'm still standing there, watching my own body. My own eyes. I did this once before. And that night I got my phone out of my pocket and left her a voicemail. A voicemail telling her I loved her. How could I have ever been that stupid. It's always in these weak moments when I let myself go and simply screw up. My message never came across. Not technically, not emotionally, not at all. I don't think it ever will.
So don't. Put down your phone. Ignore the voices. Ignore the feelings. It's not going to happen. Get over it. My love for her is making me hold on to something that passed a long time ago. Alicia was right all along. I was wrong to think we could work things out.
All my love is unrequited