Ohkay. Its been a long time! I actually, gave up on Then I saw a Lifetime movie a few weeks ago and got the PERFECT idea for a KH fanfic. So Yesh, now I am here. Yup. Hope you like. Italics is either dream or thought..
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Kingdom Hearts or Disney…duh.
Violated. Chapter 1: Regrets
Why. Why can't I just wake up and have time rush back a year? Why did I have to go to that party? They told me not to go. But, I didn't listen. And, now I realize, they really did care about me. They just wanted me to be safe. I can remember almost every detail about it. The Time. What I was wearing. What he was wearing. And the force I had in my voice when I begged for safety.
XXX
Yes, I know. I have changed a lot. But wouldn't you? I'm a lot more conservative now. I rarely speak in school, my grades have fallen at least 40, I have no friends, and I have nightmares every night about my past. Last year, I would have been stoked about beginning high school, but now I am frightened beyond belief. I know he's going to be there. Him. He did this to me. I tried to stop him, but he just pushed me harder. That night, he took away my pride. God really does screw us all…
I crossed my arms and took a deep breath as I entered the door. Yeah, even if I wasn't nervous, nothing would've mattered. I couldn't have ever survived with him. Him. Yes what if it happens again…What will I say to him? But my past was what worried me the most. What if he came back to haunt me… What if…
I was wearing all black. Well, mostly. A black tank top, under a black My Chemical Romance band hoodie. I had ripped jeans and my eyes were black. Yes; if you knew me last year, I'm quite different. After the incident, I'll never be the same. "Welcome to River-Falls High" the queer eyed man greeted. I nodded my head and walked towards an empty desk in the back. I supposed I was the last one to be seated. I watched as the little snobs gave hugs and the gangsters patted backs. I never could fit in with this mess. But, I just sat there, with my arms still crossed. Staring, Thinking. A few minutes later, I got out a blank notebook and a pencil and I began to write..
Dark skies follow me to and fro
Pain is my only sense of relief
A hollow hole in my heart where you used to be
The only way to get through it is to cover it up with this
Lightning crackles and I laugh in fear
Double doses stain my previously glossy eyes
Forgotten Places; Missing Faces
It all seems so wrong
So I'll stab you with a needle and string you like a bead
And then you'll know what it is like to be me
No matter how many stains you put into my past
Or how ever many times you try to bring me back
It'll never work,
And I'll still be your same
Broken Hearted Violation
Yeah, I guess people don't like me because I don't like myself. And I can't build up the nerves to tell anyone anything. All I can ever do is cry.
By the end of the day, I guess school wasn't that bad. Riku was nowhere to be found, and I wasn't having any new problems, yet. My last class of the day was Science. Mr. Leonheart paired me up with another loner boy. He kinda reminded me of myself, just in a boy form. I think his name is Sora…
XXX
I remember, his eyes were filled with fury and his darkened shirt blended in with the dark moonlit sky. I really thought I could trust him. His cologne smelled of Old Spice. It was nice, memorizing… He took a look at me in a seductive way. I smiled back, unaware. He opened his jeep door and led me in. I sat. He instantly began to passionately kiss me. I didn't complain. He was wonderful, truthfully. I thought it would be the best thing I've ever experienced. He pushed his arm up my dress. That's when he began to go too far.
"Stop" it was hot. And he was strong. I couldn't push him off of me.
"Riku, Stop!" I panted, I screamed." I tried with all my power to get him off of me. I was just too tired…too tired. I shook with fear.
"Kari, Kairi. Wake up!" I heard a voice whisper. "Huh?" it was Sora. I shook my head .
"Sorry...nightmare" he told me he didn't want me in trouble. He was the first person to ever care about my state of behavior. I thanked him. It happened again. My life will forever be damaged. And I can't even tell anyone what happened. Well, at least Sora's my friend. He's pretty cool. The bell rang and Sora and I walked to the buses together. As I crossed the parking lot, my body stung with fear. It was him. Riku. Riku was here. Right in front of me. I stared at him and he glared back.
"Well, Well" Riku smirked. I looked at Sora. Tears were streaming down my face. He had to have figured out something was wrong.
"Leave her alone." Sora backed me up. Thank God for him, Thank you God. As Sora and I reached home, he finally brought back up Riku. "What was that all about?"
"Riku…" I paused. "Oh. Nothing..." I blushed. I couldn't tell him yet. My parents didn't even know. Why would I tell someone I've only known for 3 weeks?
XXX
"Mom, I'm home" I went straight to the stairs and up to my room. I slammed the door and I walked into my closet. I took the nearest coat sleeve and screamed into it as loud as I could into it. It was my way to relieve my feelings without anyone knowing. I knew, Something was wrong with me. Screaming; louder and louder I couldn't take it anymore. I was broken. I slid to the ground and broke down. Tears bursting from my eyes, every half second. I clenched my eyes shut and put my head into my knees
"Why Me…" I whispered, bawling. "Why Me…"
Shivering, I tried to end his actions. I did everything I could to stop him. He would not let go. I bit, I scratched, and I kicked. He just went harder. Instantly, I realized it. I was raped. Raped by someone I hardly even knew. I could hear him laughing deeply. He took my face and tilted it slightly towards his mouth. "Tell one soul and you're dead." I bit my lip.
"Riku…" my eyes poured. "Why" I tried
"GET OUT" he pushed my head and I stumbled out of the car. I guess all I really could do then was run. I just wanted to go home. So, I ran…
I jerked forward and felt something hit my forehead very hard. "Ow…" I moaned. It was far past nightfall when I finally arose from my closet and downstairs to eat dinner. My parents greeted me and I nodded softly. I plotted a spoonful of corn onto my plate and sat down.
"How's School…"
"Okay" It was hard for me to communicate with them anymore. So I just went along eating and asked to be excused when I was finished. I walked back upstairs and to my bathroom, once I was done and forcefully tried to remove my armful of jelly bracelets. Once removed, I took a deep breath and turned on the shower. Instantly, steam began to fog up the mirror. I removed my clothes and got in. I wanted control badly. And I knew the one way to gain it.
I picked up the razor from the soap holder and gently placed it centimeters above my right wrist. I closed my eyes and scrapped it across, near my vein. I loved the feeling, the tingle, when the blood appeared. I watched it trickle down my forearm and wash away in the opened drain. I clenched my eyes as the water pounded onto the newly formed scar. It was a relief. It gave me power. Power to control my pain, by causing physical pain on myself, but I wanted more power. I clenched the razor and tore the bare skin on my right forearm. It stung way more this time. Weak, I dropped the razor to the newly puddle floor. I groaned in pain. The scarlet red blood oozed from my albino white arm. It was different. Still dripping, I put a towel around myself and ran into my room. I watched the drops of blood stain my snow white carpet. I couldn't stop the bleeding. I wrapped a maroon pillowcase around my arm. Slowly, it began to stop flowing. Eventually, it halted completely. I took a look at my arm. The scar was about 4 inches long. It felt good, I felt complete.
Finally, I had a hobby…