Jonathan was the grumpy quiet guy that no one seemed to want to bother with and he always sat alone during lectures, letting his leg bounce until the time ticked by and class let out. He always had his earphones in, ipod in his jacket pocket as he walked by himself wherever he needed to go. But in Computer class he never could sit alone because the same guy always made a point to sit beside him. Jonathan really didn't understand why, but he had grown accustomed to it and when he walked in late he found himself searching for the raven haired guy against his will. His legs drove him up to the back of the room where the empty seat beckoned him, beside those kind conservative eyes as always. He gave him a small nod and received one in return.
That's how it was, they didn't hardly speak to one another and out of all the boring routines he had to deal with at college, this was the most enjoyable. Sitting next to this quiet guy who didn't pester him. Jonathan found his presence very calming and somewhat comforting. Some days he looked forward to it. Yet, he still didn't understand it. He didn't even know his name. They went through an entire semester that way until their classes changed, but they still ended up with one course together so their routine didn't even change. He was grateful for that.
His life was passing him by, he was learning what he needed to know, and he was alone in his endeavors like he had been his entire life. But he had his music. It was what got him through the day. The earbuds hardly ever left his ears. It kept him going, along with the daily nod he got from the dark haired stranger. Jonathan was fine, everything was normal and as it should be until he woke up on a Wednesday to find his ipod wasn't working. He felt the panic rising and he ran for his charger in his dorm and plugged it in hoping it was just dead.
But it wouldn't turn on.
The music was all he had. It distracted his thoughts and kept them pleasant enough to get him through the day without feeling the urge to climb to the top of the clock tower and see how fast he could fall back down.
The thoughts were already clouding his mind and he was angry. And when he was angry he cried and when he cried …
For the first time in a year, Evan felt worry creep in. It wasn't the heavy grey weather or the wind picking up. It wasn't his classes, it wasn't something he could explain. It was him, the guy in blue and for the first time since they'd started this thing, this silent companionship, he saw him outside of the one class they shared. He was walking without purpose, his hood over his head, casting a shadow over his sad, fair face. It was a face he'd grown to like and he looked forward to seeing it every day. The guy was quiet, reserved, and troubled. That much Evan could see, even if he kept it closeted.
The guy in blue was walking his way with his head down and just as they passed each other, he looked up unintentionally catching his eye. They were something else and Evan had never actually caught his stare head on before that moment and it stunned him. But it hurt him deep down where he didn't know he could hurt, all because his eyes were pink and puffy and a brighter blue than he'd ever seen. He'd been crying, heavily by the looks of it and the strange attachment he felt towards the guy escalated.
Evan worried about it all day and he double timed it to the class he shared with him only to find the guy was already there, ten minutes early and sitting alone in the corner where they always sat. He was leaned against the window looking out at the coming storm and his eyes were wet with fresh tears. He wiped them away when he saw Evan moving towards him.
Evan hesitated when he sat down next to him, but he couldn't keep the question in. "Are you okay?"
The guy was silent for a moment before he turned and gave a sad grin and Evan decided he liked his face even more when he showed expressions. He shook his head, "No."
Evan didn't want to pry, but the guy looked down at his pale hands on the wood in front of them and thought for a moment before he said, "I lost my music."
"Your ipod?" Evan asked quietly.
"Yeah, I don't know what happened. It just stopped working and now I can't stop thinking and the music was the only thing … I can't explain it." He looked back out the window and the rest of their class slowly filtered in. "I've had that thing since I was in the eighth grade. My whole life is on that thing."
Evan opened his mouth but closed it again, figuring he didn't want his sympathy, but he had it anyway. He just didn't say it. The class started and they opened their laptops and typed away until they were done and had half an hour to kill before they could leave. A lightbulb went off in Evan's head and he dug around in his bag until he found his dual headphone jack. Then he pulled up his music on his phone and plugged it in.
"Do you have your earbuds?" He asked the guy and he dug around in his jacket pocket and nodded. Evan grinned and plugged his end into the second hole on the jack. That was the first time Evan had ever seen him look … okay.
He could see a small smile beneath his hood as they sat there together, listening to music, most of which had no words just rhythms that had always put him at ease. It seemed to work for the guy in blue, too. Instead of leaving separately, they left the class together and walked side by side until they had to part ways.
Evan turned to him and held out his hand, "I'm Evan, by the way."
The guy grinned and took his hand, "Jonathan."
Evan smiled and Jonathan's eyes flickered between his eyes and his mouth. "So, I'll see you tomorrow then?"
"Yeah." Jonathan nodded. "Thank you for … you know."
"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow, Jonathan."
Their routine changed. They met well before class and sat in the courtyard where they talked, listened to music, and watched the sky. Then they walked together and each day that passed the closer they sat with headphones in their ears. Until one day they were sitting comfortably shoulder to shoulder and they knew each other's favorite color and middle name.
Jonathan learned that Evan still lived with his parents off campus, so he started inviting him to stay at his dorm sometimes, until it got to the point where he practically lived there. They got comfortable with each other just like they did for an entire year before they even spoke to one another. Jonathan found it odd the more he thought about it but Evan made him feel better. Evan was different, he understood. They played games together early into the morning and slept on the same couch some nights, most weekends. One time they even crashed in his small twin sized bed. But after that morning he decided that Evan should sleep on the couch and he would take the floor. Because he had woke up too close, curled against his warm back and it scared him how much he liked it.
"Do you wanna move in and be my roommate?" Jonathan found himself asking. "Just talk to the office about it. We could get you a bed in here and that way you don't have to drive thirty minutes to get to class every day."
Evan put down his controller and looked at him seriously, "Are you sure?"
"Dude, you pretty much already live here."
"Prove it." Evan grinned.
Jonathan laughed, "You eat my food, wear my clothes, use my shower, and you've slept in my bed. And that's, like, four days out of the week."
Evan laughed and Jonathan couldn't help but smile when he said, "Alright."
They fell into a nasty habit. It wasn't actually nasty, but Jonathan thought it ought to stop because he enjoyed it so much. In short, they started sleeping in the same bed again. It hadn't happened since that one night, but it happened again when they stayed up watching a marathon of Firefly and they couldn't hold their eyes open. Evan had dragged him to the room where he fell down onto him and into a deep sleep, so he didn't move him. It was nice and he couldn't find the will to kick Evan out of the bed any day after that. He was his best friend and the only person he had ever liked and if he didn't crawl into his bed, Jonathan would get up and get into his. Evan always made room and they always woke up in a tangle of arms and legs.
Jonathan knew what was happening and he had never felt that way before about anyone. When he thought about it, he didn't want it to be anyone else. Evan had sat next to him for all those months before without saying a word because he knew he didn't want to be bothered. He was kind enough to take notice, kind enough to share his music when his silent friend needed it most.
And Jonathan kind of loved him for that. He was the best thing he could ever ask for.
Jonathan didn't expect anything for his birthday since he hadn't got so much as a happy birthday from anyone in too many years to count. It was something he was used to and he never payed attention when his day rolled around each year. Not until Evan was walking to class with him while the wind was whipping around them and he asked, "What do you want for your birthday?"
Jonathan gave a modest shake of his head, "I don't want anything."
"Come on, dude. You've got to want something." Evan said and slowed to a stop when he reached the door to his next class.
Jonathan turned and gave his best friend a small grin, "I don't want anything, Evan. Having you around is enough."
Evan stood there in a stunned silence before he broke into a smile as he watched Jonathan walk away to his class. The feeling in his chest never faded and he knew he couldn't make it go away. He really didn't want it to leave.
So when they came back to the dorm that night after they ordered pizza, Evan popped in Jonathan's favorite game and watched the smile light up his face. They played well into the night and when Evan saw that it was midnight and officially Jonathan's birthday, he pulled out a small box and handed it to him. The look on his face was enough, but it was even better when he opened it.
"It's a new ipod. Evan, why did you do this?"
Evan just smiled, "Turn it on."
Jonathan raised a suspicious brow, but grinned and turned it on. Evan watched him squint at the screen when it lit up and then he watched his eyes water before he looked up at him. His blue eyes were getting brighter like they always did when he cried. "All of my music is on here … from my old ipod. How did you …"
Evan held up his fingers, "I'm good with my hands. I took your old one apart in the computer lab one day and got the memory out of it and put it into this new one. And now you're crying really hard. Jesus, Jonathan."
Evan stood and pulled him into the tiny kitchen where he wiped at his face with a small towel. "Why are you crying?"
"Because my ipod was the last birthday present I ever remember getting." He wiped at his nose and sniffed. "I don't remember the last time anyone ever cared enough about me to want to do something like this. I don't know. That music means everything to me and I didn't think I would ever get it back. I had accepted it and then you just fucking fix it and make everything better. Even back when I didn't know your name, you made everything better and I couldn't wait to get to that class every day. I couldn't wait to see you."
Evan was watching his lips move and he felt it. He felt Jonathan lodged deep in his chest, his heart. He didn't want anything other than the guy standing in front of him in his briefs and a t-shirt that matched his eyes. He didn't want anything more.
"So just, thank you. I was such a fucking wreck before I met you, Evan." Jonathan got the words out and he wasn't prepared for the hands on his face or the lips pressed against his own, but he quickly adjusted. He sighed against his mouth and let his fingers come up and wrap around the back of Evan's neck. Evan took a breath and their mouths opened for each other and his hands slid down to Jonathan's waist. He pulled him closer and it was all he ever needed. His body, his mind, and the warmth of his troubled soul.
Evan pulled back and his heart was knocking at his chest. He opened his eyes and stared into Jonathan's, trying to catch his breath. "I kind of love you, Jonathan."
He watched Jonathan smile, his dimples showing and it made him ache. He was so beautiful with his puffy eyes and red lips. "I kind of love you, too." He shook his head and laughed, "No, I definitely love you. A lot. Holy shit."
Evan found himself laughing until their lips crashed together again and they were close to breaking everything they owned trying to find the bedroom without letting go.
They made it.