Hey you guys! I know I know, I'm starting another story without finished "This Isn't What I Want." But hopefully I will finish it. But this story just popped into my head one night when I heard a song by this one girl Vanessa Carlton or something or other, I thinks it's called I would walk 1000 miles or something like that. I don't remember. Well anyways here you go, read on!
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of the t.V. show "Sailor Moon." There I said it...happy now?
Title: Paranoid
By: Happy Noodle Girl
Part: Chapter 1
Rated: R (for later sexual content)
E-mail: HappyNoodleGrl@aol.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-Serena's POV-
"Mom...What? No. What are you talking about?" I stammered out, fresh tears rolling down my cheeks. I stared at her wide eyed, not believing.
"Don't let them get you Serena. Don't let them do "back" to you." She warned, holding me by the shoulders.
There was no more twinkle in her eyes, no more laughter. They were dull, she was not my mother any longer, she was just a vessil, an empty shell that used to contain my mother.
I shook my head, trying to rid myself of this horrible dream, but this was no dream. This was reality, my mother was sick, and I could do nothing to help her. Only she could help herself, and she refused to do so.
"Stop talking like that Mom. I don't understand." I choked out, my breath ragged from my crying. I had no doubt that my eyes were red and my usually light skin was beat red, I felt afire. Afire with anger, with grief, with an ultimate saddness that I had never felt before.
"They're after me Sere. They're going to kill me...they're going to kill you! Run Sere! Get away! Don't let them find you!" She started to yell at me, shaking me by my shoulders with such force I could feel the bruises starting to develope beneath her iron grip.
"Mom...Mommy...you're hurting me. Please...stop." I gasped out.
She stoped shaking me but still held her grip.
"Mom, you're sick...you need help. Get help!" I nearly screamed at her. It had never gotten this bad before. I was never afraid of her, but as of right then, I had never been more afraid in my life, for her, for myself, for our future...together. Would she be there? At my graduation? At my wedding? At my children's birth? Or would she be a recluse, too scared to leave her own confines to see her only daughter live the happiest moments in her life? The thought made me sick, but I could do nothing. Nothing.
I had finally had enough. I couldn't stand her grip any longer. I roughly pushed her fingers, which had started to dig into my skin, off. She looked at me, a mixure of confusion and hurt I saw in her eyes. I backed away from her slowly, I had no idea how much raw emotion my eyes held at that moment. I was angry, scared, and most of all...disbelieveing.
I couldn't look her in the eye. I was suddenly transfixed by our blue/grey carpet.
"Please...leave." I told her, my voice comming out in a deadly whisper.
I did not see her tears, nor did I see the way she looked at me when she walked out the door. The utter hurt and lonliness she had felt.
The moment I heard the door close with a soft, depressing click, I crumpled to floor. I griped my skirt until I thought my hands would bleed. Tears rolled down my cheeks one after another while violent sobs wracked my body. My hands found my long blonde hair which resembled my mother's so much. I scratched and clawed at it, pulling until my frustration was only half satisfied. I looked up, my eyes rimmed with red. I stared at the pictures on the mantel. Unable to believe that life was once that happy and blissful. The pictures displayed my mother, Ilene, my father, Ken, and myself...Serena. We were once a happy family. We went on picnics, to the Zoo, to Disneyland. We were normal. Until that fateful day at the doctors.
~FLASHBACK~
We were all going in to get a physical, my mother, my father and I always had one atleast once a year. We tried to schedule them at the same time so we didn't have to make several trips back and forth. We had all been taken to our respective doctors and the examination began. It took a couple days, but finally the results were in.
I was perfectly healthy, my father was too, save his high cholesteral, which could be easily managed. My mother was an entirely different story though. Her examination had found she had paranoid schizophrenia. The dictionary definition is: A form of schizophrenia that is characterized by a preoccupation of bizarre delusion(s) of being persecuted or harassed. Auditory halluncinations that are related to the delusions' theme. (www.psyweb.com).
This means that my mother felt she was being followed, harassed by anyone and everyone. She thought everone was out to hurt her, to kill her...she even accused her own family of it at times.
We had noticed that she had been acting different for some time but thought nothing of it. My father passed it off as "the changes of life," or better known as menopause. Me...I was just ignorant. I never believed that anything bad could happen to my mom, not in a billion years. Well, I was wrong, something did happen to my mom. Something very bad.
She refused to take medicine that would cure her. She said nothing was wrong with her. That we were just out to kill her.
"You just want me drugged up on pills so you can get rid of me!" She screamed at my father and I with venom dripping from her voice.
Emediatly, I knew this was not my mother. My mother would never say such things. She loved us with all her heart. This was NOT my mother. I refused to blieve it was.
She had then fled from the living room to her's and my father's room where she slammed the door and locked it. My father greatly regretted putting a lock on their door after that incident. My mom didn't come out of their room for two days. We left food by the door, but none was touched. She finally did come out of the bedroom. My father and I hardly recognized her. She looked hallow. She had only been in the room for two days, but the wear was evident. Her eyes had sunken in considerably, her skin hung lifelessly from her bones. She looked dead, and in a way she was. To the both of us, and to herself.
After that, her mental stability took a spiraling jump down. She was always on edge. It was almost like looking at a caged rabbit about to be eatin by some preditor. Every night I would lay in my bed and silently cry. I cried until it was almost physically unable for me to cry any longer. I didn't leave home for weeks. My friends were worried, they called an endless amount of times, even that arrogant jerk, Darien, called me. No doubt to make fun of me and ridicule me on my faults as a human being.
After my mother confronted me in the living room that day and walked out, we didn't see her for awhile.
It's been four months and she still hasn't come home. We notified the cops and they were searching, I'm sure they were trying their best but my mind knew better.
'They don't care about one crazy woman! They have better things to worry about. Like finding kidnapped children!' My mind screamed at me.
One afternoon when I was sitting in my living room on the couch watching television, my father walked in and sat down next to me.
"You know, it would do you some good to get out, go have some fun with your friends, they're really worried about you sweatheart. I'm really worried about you." My father said as tears brimmed his eyes.
I looked over to him and gave him a reasurring smile that both him and I knew was fake. I returned my gaze back to the television, not really seeing the pictures it displayed. My father suddenly wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. He pulled away and looked into my eyes. He gently kissed my forehead.
"Please sweetheart. Go to the arcade. Be with your friends. You don't need to be here. Go, forget about your troubles for a couple hours." He tried to coax me.
I finally gave in, knowing it would comfort him to know that I was acting like my happy-go-lucky self again.
I changed into some jeans and a black t-shirt and walked to the arcade where I was sure my friends were. I started my walk down the streets, a sullen expression on my face. I bumped shoulders with many people, many people yelled at me, but I did not care. I stared at the ground the whole way there. I didn't dare lift my head to see the accusing glares of the people. I feared they would tell me: 'You made your mom like this! Drove her to her last sane nerve!'
'It's all your fault!'
I walked faster, trying to get away from the voices.
I finally reached the arcade. The doors slid open and then everything was as if it were happening in slow motion. I walked in, the bells jingled signalling a customer. I saw Andrew at the counter, he slowly brought his head up to look at me. I could see his eyes visibly widen. I looked to my right and saw Ray, Amy, Mina, and Lita. The friends that had been calling non-stop since I backed away from them, into my hole of dispair. They stared at me, shocked. Did I look that awful? I quickly ran into the bathroom. I couldn't stand their piercing eyes boring into me. I never noticed one more pair of dark blue, concerned eyes locked on me.
I stood infront of the mirror, holding on to the sink so I would not collapse. I stared into the mirror. The person I saw in that mirror, was not me. It couldn't be me. My eyes used to be a bright shiny blue, now they were dull and lacking any life what-so-ever.
"Serena?" It was Mina. She walked into the bathroom and stood there. Just watching.
I hung my head over the sink.
"Have I changed so much?" I asked silently. I didn't think Mina heard me.
"Kind of. What's wrong? What could possibly cause you this much pain?" She asked comming over to me and putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.
That's when I broke. The facade that I had put up for my friends fell like a sand bag thrown into the murky depths.
I turned and engulfed Mina in a fierce hug and sobbed into her shoulder. I knew she must be very confused, but no matter, she still held me. For how long, I do not know. My tears slowly subsided and she pulled me back from our embrace to look me in the face. She was worried beyond belief, I could tell.
"Please Sere. Tell me what's wrong." She begged.
I needed to tell someone. If I didn't tell someone I felt as if I was going to burst.
"My mother...she...she has...paranoid schizophrenia." I stammered out, fresh tears making their way down my cheeks.
I explained to her the past few months' occurences. She gasped and held me once again.
"Everything will turn out right, you'll see Sere, you'll see. Everything will be fine." She kept repeating over and over again into my ear. It didn't do much to comfort me. I know she cares, and she wants to help, but she can't override my fears that I have for my mother, out there, all by herself.
Mina dried my tears and brought out her make-up to conceal the dark bags under my eyes, and blush to give me some color. When Mina was done I looked in the mirror again, I looked a little more alive, except for my eyes. My eyes gave it away. They were just so dull and lifeless.
We both walked out of the bathroom together. I leaned over and whispered into Mina's ear,
"Please don't tell anyone. I don't think I can handle anyone else knowing."
Mina just nodded her understanding. I really did love her.
Mina led me over to Ray, Amy, and Lita who were siting in a booth. I quietly sat down among my friends. Andrew came over and asked if we wanted anything.
"A double chocolate fudge sunday for you Serena?" He asked. I always ordered the same thing when I came into the arcade. It was a natural everyday occurence.
"No thanks Andrew. I'm not really hungry." I said as I fiddled with my fingers that lay in my lap.
You could tell Andrew was shocked.
'Serena, not hungry!?! Is that even possible!?!' He thought astounded.
"What about the rest of you girls?" He asked the remaining four girls.
"We'll just have five waters Andrew please." Amy answered for the girls. Also ordering for Serena.
"Meatball Head not eating? Wow, is the world ending??" Came a sarcastic deep voice from the booth behind the girls.
They all turned around to see Darien with a smug smile on his face. As soon as he saw the empty, hopeless look in Serena's eyes, he lost his smile and his smugness.
"Darien, fuck off." Mina said deathly.
Darien didn't even hear her words he was so engrossed in the expression Serena had on her face. She looked as if she had given up on life all together. Serena then silently turned around and continued to fidget in her seat. Darien then turned around in his seat aswell with a confused expression on his face.
'What happened to Serena? She looks so...so...dead.' Darien thought perplexed.
"Guys," Serena started. "I think I'm going to go for a walk. I'll talk you guys later." I then got up and walked out of the arcade towards the park.
I went straight to the willow tree in the center of the park. Its branches hung so low a person could hide behind its leaves. I crawled beneath the tree and held my knees tightly to my chest. And cried. I had thought I had no more tears left in me, but I was wrong. They just kept comming, a never ending river. Suddenly I heard a rustle in the leaves infront of me. I jerked my tear stained face up to see Darien pushing through the leaves.
"Darien." I gasped out surprised. I had forgotten all about my tears.
Darien looked at me. Was that...concern in his eyes?
He walked over and sat down next to me in the soft grass.
"Serena?" He asked using my given name for once.
I didn't say anything, hoping he would go away if I didn't say anything. He continued talking anyways.
"What's wrong? This isn't you. Please answer me." He gently took my chin in his hands and made me look him in the eye. Tears began to form in my eyes again.
'No. I can't break down again.' I told myself firmly.
"No." I said simply. It was so quiet that he barely heard it.
"Please Serena..." He asked pleadingly. I started to get angry.
"You think being nice to me for 10 seconds constitutes you as a trusted friend!?! It doesn't Darien! You have ridiculed me and tormented me about various things for as long as I have known you. Don't think I'm going to change my whole perspective of you in a 10 second time period when a whole three years of indifference is between us. There's no chance in hell. You have to earn my trust Darien." I had never spoken like that before. I was just all of a sudden so angry, with him, with the world mostly.
"You're right." He said as he hung his head.
"Why don't you come to my apartment and I'll cook you dinner and we can get to know eachother. I know we've never been friends, but I'd like that to change, if you want it to change. Please?" He asked while his thumbs moved in quick circles around eachother. I smiled for a split second, he reminded me of a nervous, small boy. He suddenly looked at me and I instantly knew he was sincere. I found myself complying to his invitation. He smiled at me and stood up. He held his hand out for me to take so I could get up off the grass. I took it gratefully. Just him holding out his hand like that sent waves of renewed hope through me. Maybe things were really going to turn out alright. Maybe everything was really going to be fine.
END CHAPTER 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This story was taken from a point in my life, it has been exaggerated a bit in places but the overal plot is true. Paranoid schizophrenia is no fun, it's absolutly horrifying if you have to watch a loved one go through it. The only way a person can get help is if they want to get help. Don't shut them out...let them know you're there for them. Constantly tell them you love them. Let them know they need help. That's all you can do. Good luck.
That was the end of chapter one. Hopefully there will be another chapter out soon. Tell me what you think of my story so far? Please? Pretty please? I need feedback people! :) later!
-Happy Noodle Girl
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of the t.V. show "Sailor Moon." There I said it...happy now?
Title: Paranoid
By: Happy Noodle Girl
Part: Chapter 1
Rated: R (for later sexual content)
E-mail: HappyNoodleGrl@aol.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-Serena's POV-
"Mom...What? No. What are you talking about?" I stammered out, fresh tears rolling down my cheeks. I stared at her wide eyed, not believing.
"Don't let them get you Serena. Don't let them do "back" to you." She warned, holding me by the shoulders.
There was no more twinkle in her eyes, no more laughter. They were dull, she was not my mother any longer, she was just a vessil, an empty shell that used to contain my mother.
I shook my head, trying to rid myself of this horrible dream, but this was no dream. This was reality, my mother was sick, and I could do nothing to help her. Only she could help herself, and she refused to do so.
"Stop talking like that Mom. I don't understand." I choked out, my breath ragged from my crying. I had no doubt that my eyes were red and my usually light skin was beat red, I felt afire. Afire with anger, with grief, with an ultimate saddness that I had never felt before.
"They're after me Sere. They're going to kill me...they're going to kill you! Run Sere! Get away! Don't let them find you!" She started to yell at me, shaking me by my shoulders with such force I could feel the bruises starting to develope beneath her iron grip.
"Mom...Mommy...you're hurting me. Please...stop." I gasped out.
She stoped shaking me but still held her grip.
"Mom, you're sick...you need help. Get help!" I nearly screamed at her. It had never gotten this bad before. I was never afraid of her, but as of right then, I had never been more afraid in my life, for her, for myself, for our future...together. Would she be there? At my graduation? At my wedding? At my children's birth? Or would she be a recluse, too scared to leave her own confines to see her only daughter live the happiest moments in her life? The thought made me sick, but I could do nothing. Nothing.
I had finally had enough. I couldn't stand her grip any longer. I roughly pushed her fingers, which had started to dig into my skin, off. She looked at me, a mixure of confusion and hurt I saw in her eyes. I backed away from her slowly, I had no idea how much raw emotion my eyes held at that moment. I was angry, scared, and most of all...disbelieveing.
I couldn't look her in the eye. I was suddenly transfixed by our blue/grey carpet.
"Please...leave." I told her, my voice comming out in a deadly whisper.
I did not see her tears, nor did I see the way she looked at me when she walked out the door. The utter hurt and lonliness she had felt.
The moment I heard the door close with a soft, depressing click, I crumpled to floor. I griped my skirt until I thought my hands would bleed. Tears rolled down my cheeks one after another while violent sobs wracked my body. My hands found my long blonde hair which resembled my mother's so much. I scratched and clawed at it, pulling until my frustration was only half satisfied. I looked up, my eyes rimmed with red. I stared at the pictures on the mantel. Unable to believe that life was once that happy and blissful. The pictures displayed my mother, Ilene, my father, Ken, and myself...Serena. We were once a happy family. We went on picnics, to the Zoo, to Disneyland. We were normal. Until that fateful day at the doctors.
~FLASHBACK~
We were all going in to get a physical, my mother, my father and I always had one atleast once a year. We tried to schedule them at the same time so we didn't have to make several trips back and forth. We had all been taken to our respective doctors and the examination began. It took a couple days, but finally the results were in.
I was perfectly healthy, my father was too, save his high cholesteral, which could be easily managed. My mother was an entirely different story though. Her examination had found she had paranoid schizophrenia. The dictionary definition is: A form of schizophrenia that is characterized by a preoccupation of bizarre delusion(s) of being persecuted or harassed. Auditory halluncinations that are related to the delusions' theme. (www.psyweb.com).
This means that my mother felt she was being followed, harassed by anyone and everyone. She thought everone was out to hurt her, to kill her...she even accused her own family of it at times.
We had noticed that she had been acting different for some time but thought nothing of it. My father passed it off as "the changes of life," or better known as menopause. Me...I was just ignorant. I never believed that anything bad could happen to my mom, not in a billion years. Well, I was wrong, something did happen to my mom. Something very bad.
She refused to take medicine that would cure her. She said nothing was wrong with her. That we were just out to kill her.
"You just want me drugged up on pills so you can get rid of me!" She screamed at my father and I with venom dripping from her voice.
Emediatly, I knew this was not my mother. My mother would never say such things. She loved us with all her heart. This was NOT my mother. I refused to blieve it was.
She had then fled from the living room to her's and my father's room where she slammed the door and locked it. My father greatly regretted putting a lock on their door after that incident. My mom didn't come out of their room for two days. We left food by the door, but none was touched. She finally did come out of the bedroom. My father and I hardly recognized her. She looked hallow. She had only been in the room for two days, but the wear was evident. Her eyes had sunken in considerably, her skin hung lifelessly from her bones. She looked dead, and in a way she was. To the both of us, and to herself.
After that, her mental stability took a spiraling jump down. She was always on edge. It was almost like looking at a caged rabbit about to be eatin by some preditor. Every night I would lay in my bed and silently cry. I cried until it was almost physically unable for me to cry any longer. I didn't leave home for weeks. My friends were worried, they called an endless amount of times, even that arrogant jerk, Darien, called me. No doubt to make fun of me and ridicule me on my faults as a human being.
After my mother confronted me in the living room that day and walked out, we didn't see her for awhile.
It's been four months and she still hasn't come home. We notified the cops and they were searching, I'm sure they were trying their best but my mind knew better.
'They don't care about one crazy woman! They have better things to worry about. Like finding kidnapped children!' My mind screamed at me.
One afternoon when I was sitting in my living room on the couch watching television, my father walked in and sat down next to me.
"You know, it would do you some good to get out, go have some fun with your friends, they're really worried about you sweatheart. I'm really worried about you." My father said as tears brimmed his eyes.
I looked over to him and gave him a reasurring smile that both him and I knew was fake. I returned my gaze back to the television, not really seeing the pictures it displayed. My father suddenly wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. He pulled away and looked into my eyes. He gently kissed my forehead.
"Please sweetheart. Go to the arcade. Be with your friends. You don't need to be here. Go, forget about your troubles for a couple hours." He tried to coax me.
I finally gave in, knowing it would comfort him to know that I was acting like my happy-go-lucky self again.
I changed into some jeans and a black t-shirt and walked to the arcade where I was sure my friends were. I started my walk down the streets, a sullen expression on my face. I bumped shoulders with many people, many people yelled at me, but I did not care. I stared at the ground the whole way there. I didn't dare lift my head to see the accusing glares of the people. I feared they would tell me: 'You made your mom like this! Drove her to her last sane nerve!'
'It's all your fault!'
I walked faster, trying to get away from the voices.
I finally reached the arcade. The doors slid open and then everything was as if it were happening in slow motion. I walked in, the bells jingled signalling a customer. I saw Andrew at the counter, he slowly brought his head up to look at me. I could see his eyes visibly widen. I looked to my right and saw Ray, Amy, Mina, and Lita. The friends that had been calling non-stop since I backed away from them, into my hole of dispair. They stared at me, shocked. Did I look that awful? I quickly ran into the bathroom. I couldn't stand their piercing eyes boring into me. I never noticed one more pair of dark blue, concerned eyes locked on me.
I stood infront of the mirror, holding on to the sink so I would not collapse. I stared into the mirror. The person I saw in that mirror, was not me. It couldn't be me. My eyes used to be a bright shiny blue, now they were dull and lacking any life what-so-ever.
"Serena?" It was Mina. She walked into the bathroom and stood there. Just watching.
I hung my head over the sink.
"Have I changed so much?" I asked silently. I didn't think Mina heard me.
"Kind of. What's wrong? What could possibly cause you this much pain?" She asked comming over to me and putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.
That's when I broke. The facade that I had put up for my friends fell like a sand bag thrown into the murky depths.
I turned and engulfed Mina in a fierce hug and sobbed into her shoulder. I knew she must be very confused, but no matter, she still held me. For how long, I do not know. My tears slowly subsided and she pulled me back from our embrace to look me in the face. She was worried beyond belief, I could tell.
"Please Sere. Tell me what's wrong." She begged.
I needed to tell someone. If I didn't tell someone I felt as if I was going to burst.
"My mother...she...she has...paranoid schizophrenia." I stammered out, fresh tears making their way down my cheeks.
I explained to her the past few months' occurences. She gasped and held me once again.
"Everything will turn out right, you'll see Sere, you'll see. Everything will be fine." She kept repeating over and over again into my ear. It didn't do much to comfort me. I know she cares, and she wants to help, but she can't override my fears that I have for my mother, out there, all by herself.
Mina dried my tears and brought out her make-up to conceal the dark bags under my eyes, and blush to give me some color. When Mina was done I looked in the mirror again, I looked a little more alive, except for my eyes. My eyes gave it away. They were just so dull and lifeless.
We both walked out of the bathroom together. I leaned over and whispered into Mina's ear,
"Please don't tell anyone. I don't think I can handle anyone else knowing."
Mina just nodded her understanding. I really did love her.
Mina led me over to Ray, Amy, and Lita who were siting in a booth. I quietly sat down among my friends. Andrew came over and asked if we wanted anything.
"A double chocolate fudge sunday for you Serena?" He asked. I always ordered the same thing when I came into the arcade. It was a natural everyday occurence.
"No thanks Andrew. I'm not really hungry." I said as I fiddled with my fingers that lay in my lap.
You could tell Andrew was shocked.
'Serena, not hungry!?! Is that even possible!?!' He thought astounded.
"What about the rest of you girls?" He asked the remaining four girls.
"We'll just have five waters Andrew please." Amy answered for the girls. Also ordering for Serena.
"Meatball Head not eating? Wow, is the world ending??" Came a sarcastic deep voice from the booth behind the girls.
They all turned around to see Darien with a smug smile on his face. As soon as he saw the empty, hopeless look in Serena's eyes, he lost his smile and his smugness.
"Darien, fuck off." Mina said deathly.
Darien didn't even hear her words he was so engrossed in the expression Serena had on her face. She looked as if she had given up on life all together. Serena then silently turned around and continued to fidget in her seat. Darien then turned around in his seat aswell with a confused expression on his face.
'What happened to Serena? She looks so...so...dead.' Darien thought perplexed.
"Guys," Serena started. "I think I'm going to go for a walk. I'll talk you guys later." I then got up and walked out of the arcade towards the park.
I went straight to the willow tree in the center of the park. Its branches hung so low a person could hide behind its leaves. I crawled beneath the tree and held my knees tightly to my chest. And cried. I had thought I had no more tears left in me, but I was wrong. They just kept comming, a never ending river. Suddenly I heard a rustle in the leaves infront of me. I jerked my tear stained face up to see Darien pushing through the leaves.
"Darien." I gasped out surprised. I had forgotten all about my tears.
Darien looked at me. Was that...concern in his eyes?
He walked over and sat down next to me in the soft grass.
"Serena?" He asked using my given name for once.
I didn't say anything, hoping he would go away if I didn't say anything. He continued talking anyways.
"What's wrong? This isn't you. Please answer me." He gently took my chin in his hands and made me look him in the eye. Tears began to form in my eyes again.
'No. I can't break down again.' I told myself firmly.
"No." I said simply. It was so quiet that he barely heard it.
"Please Serena..." He asked pleadingly. I started to get angry.
"You think being nice to me for 10 seconds constitutes you as a trusted friend!?! It doesn't Darien! You have ridiculed me and tormented me about various things for as long as I have known you. Don't think I'm going to change my whole perspective of you in a 10 second time period when a whole three years of indifference is between us. There's no chance in hell. You have to earn my trust Darien." I had never spoken like that before. I was just all of a sudden so angry, with him, with the world mostly.
"You're right." He said as he hung his head.
"Why don't you come to my apartment and I'll cook you dinner and we can get to know eachother. I know we've never been friends, but I'd like that to change, if you want it to change. Please?" He asked while his thumbs moved in quick circles around eachother. I smiled for a split second, he reminded me of a nervous, small boy. He suddenly looked at me and I instantly knew he was sincere. I found myself complying to his invitation. He smiled at me and stood up. He held his hand out for me to take so I could get up off the grass. I took it gratefully. Just him holding out his hand like that sent waves of renewed hope through me. Maybe things were really going to turn out alright. Maybe everything was really going to be fine.
END CHAPTER 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This story was taken from a point in my life, it has been exaggerated a bit in places but the overal plot is true. Paranoid schizophrenia is no fun, it's absolutly horrifying if you have to watch a loved one go through it. The only way a person can get help is if they want to get help. Don't shut them out...let them know you're there for them. Constantly tell them you love them. Let them know they need help. That's all you can do. Good luck.
That was the end of chapter one. Hopefully there will be another chapter out soon. Tell me what you think of my story so far? Please? Pretty please? I need feedback people! :) later!
-Happy Noodle Girl