Title: Three's A Crowd

Genre: Humor/Romance

Rating: M

Warnings: AU-ish. Puzzleshipping smut. There really isn't a plot (unless discovering how to have sex in order to actually have it counts as one). Just something for me to do while I meddle with No Card Games in Wonderland. I apologize in advance. This will have at least three chapters. That's the plan anyway.

Summary: The two times Yami and Yugi tried to have "relations" and the one time they actually sort of got it right. With help. PWP. YYxY

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, okay? Takahashi-sama would likely murder me for this, in fact.

Serena: No. You read it right. I…actually wrote smut. Something I've never ever done before. I've never even wanted to and then one day…this. This just pops into my head and suddenly I find myself researching all this stuff about homosexual sex and…ah. *waves hand in the air* For a virgin girl, I think I know too much on this subject now, but what's done is done. Some constructive criticism would be nice. I've taken tips and advice from others on how to write "lemons", but the more I know, the better, right? Although, maybe it doesn't matter much since I don't plan on doing this again, but…who knows? Maybe I will?

-x-x-x-x-

Chapter 1: Cold Fries

-x-x-x-x-

Yami's hand hesitated near the waistline of his partner's unbuttoned trousers, suddenly unwilling to go any further as uncertainty seeped into his thoughts. He let a frown grace his lips as his fingers idly grazed against the skin peeking out from underneath Yugi's partially unbuttoned shirt. He felt a shiver ripple across Yugi's stomach and Yami momentarily paused when his younger counterpart shifted uneasily.

"Other me?" he heard Yugi question, his tone hesitant but encouraging.

Yami looked up from that teasing patch of skin to face his partner. Yugi was biting at his lower lip in a way Yami found increasingly too attractive and it was so very distracting that he almost missed that flash of apprehension that passed through his friend's troubled gaze. As such, he caught the tall end of it and it was enough prompting to force him to tear his gaze away from Yugi's reddened lips to stare into Yugi's slightly widened eyes.

"I...uhm..." Yami began rather eloquently. He swallowed a nervous lump that had formed in his throat and wet his lips. His throat suddenly felt too dry for his liking. "Are you sure you...want to do this?"

Yugi turned away for a moment, his cheeks lighting up with a faint blush. Yami took the chance to lace his fingers with Yugi's in an attempt to not only sooth his own nerves, but Yugi's as well. The situation seemed far more awkward than he thought it should have been, but he remained quiet as he waited for his partner to answer and after a moment, Yugi turned back to look at him. He nodded once and moved a hand to wrap around the one Yami still had below his navel.

"I am." Yugi answered, voice wavering a little. He tightened his hold on their entwined hands and took a deep breath before letting out his pent up nervousness in a soft sigh. "I want you."

His hand lingered below his navel for a second longer before he moved it to the side of his hip and pushed down at the fabric. Catching on to what Yugi was doing, Yami reluctantly untangled their fingers so he could aid Yugi in removing his trousers. He tried to readjust his position along the couch so that his partner would have more room to work with, but he became further distracted by Yugi's movements. Yugi was pushing at the couch cushions, back arched and shirt sliding down his sides in a way that left more of his chest and abdomen exposed.

Unable to stop himself and momentarily forgetting that Yugi needed the extra room, Yami leaned down to press a kiss just above his partner's navel. Then, he placed another a little bit higher on his stomach, and yet another, and a few along his chest, his neck and jawline, and finally the corner of his lips. Initially, he felt Yugi stiffen underneath him, but as Yami continued with his soft kisses, Yugi relaxed and a sigh (as well as a smile) slipped past his lips.

Yami let a smile of his own play across his lips and he nuzzled at Yugi's cheek with his nose. He earned a small laugh from Yugi and then chuckled himself when his partner turned his head just enough to brush his lips against Yami's. The brush of skin against skin tingled and Yami took the initiative and pushed them into a kiss. He felt a hand wrap around his shoulder and moved a hand of his own to clutch at Yugi's bare hip.

Hot breath and fluttering touches passed between them. Neither could keep still and were constantly alternating between pressing their bodies together, entwining their fingers, or clutching at various body parts. At one point they separated to take in air and Yugi seemed to remember that he had been trying to remove his trousers. He reluctantly let his hand fall from Yami's arm to continue to push at his pants. All his wiggling and arching did nothing but entice his elder friend and suddenly Yami had his lips pressing against his in another kiss, hard and needy.

Yugi made a little noise in the back of his throat and Yami grunted when their still clothed erections accidentally grinded against one another. They both paused in their actions. Yugi's legs squirmed as if trying to curl together and Yami leaned against the couch, feeling like he could faint.

"Ah, fuck, Yugi..." Yami murmured, breaking the kiss against his will.

He hadn't meant to say anything, but the sudden grind against his member sent a sharp spark of arousal through his groin and the whispered, strained words came spilling out on their own.

Yugi made another noise and using a bit more force than he probably intended to, reached up to yank the other man back down into another kiss. Yami was briefly surprised by the force, but it lasted all of half a second before he pressed against Yugi's lips with more fervor than before and they continued as if the grind had never happened. Yugi continued to tug at his own trousers as hands roamed his hips and sides.

Everything was distracting and nothing would focus. The movements of Yugi's legs as he tried to bend them in an attempt to remove his pants, the grazing of Yami's fingers against his skin, their lips alternating between soft kisses and hard mashing, Yugi's free hand threading through Yami's wild locks of hair, etc. But when Yugi bent his legs he failed to take into account the obstacles in his way.

Namely Yami.

Or, to be more specific, Yami's crotch.

The ex-Pharaoh let out a gasp when a knee collided with his erection and he once again broke their kiss, this time hissing in pain. Yugi blinked up at him in a confused haze for a moment before his took a quick glance downward and realized where his knee was.

"O-oh no. I-I'm so sorry!" Yugi blurted out in apology. His cheeks flushed with a heavy red and his eyes widened in embarrassment. "I didn't mean to-!"

He tried to move his legs again, but his trousers were caught around his knees and constricted his movements. With a jerk, he accidentally kneed Yami in the stomach, causing his friend to let out a groan.

"I think that's...enough movement." Yami gasped out, moving to hold a hand over his stomach.

Yugi threw his hands over his face as embarrassment filled his stomach with nervous flutters and flips. He tried very hard to stay still, but he couldn't stop himself from babbling. Most of it was unintelligible, but Yami occasionally caught traces of "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" being thrown here and there. If Yami hadn't been in pain, he would have teased Yugi for the blabber, but instead, he waved a hand in the air dismissively and forced himself to smile.

All things considered, the couch had been a rather poor choice.

-x-x-

A pair of wide, equally appalled eyes stared across the table at him. Their owners' jaws were dropped in a shocked sort of awe that made his shoulders slump. This had been the last thing he had wanted to see his friends do, but Yami supposed it was inevitable. Still, it didn't stop the embarrassment from welling up in his chest and he looked away. The stares were making him uncomfortable.

"Oh my god." one of his friends finally blurted out, putting an end to the awkward silence that had settled over them. "You two are hopeless! You finally hook up and then...oh my god."

The blonde seated across from him leaned over the table and dropped his face in his hands. He groaned rather loudly and mumbled a string of unintelligible words under his breath. Beside him their brunet friend, Honda, winced and blew out a low whistle as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Oh, dude." the brunet said. His voice carried all the embarrassment and pity Yami had been dreading he would hear and it caused an uncharacteristic hue of pink to dust across his cheeks. He was already beginning to regret his decision to ask them for advice and found himself wishing he could melt into his seat. "Yami, that's...damn, man. That sounds awful."

Yami closed his eyes briefly and tried to repress the sigh he had building up.

It didn't work.

He opened his eyes after letting the sigh flow freely and directed his gaze to the gradually cooling French fries in front of him. They rested in various positions inside a cardboard rectangle stained with fresh grease spots. He had yet to pick up one of the salty creations and while he did enjoy munching on the crispy little potato sticks Yugi had gotten him hooked on, his appetite had fled the moment he began telling his embarrassing story to Jounouchi and Honda.

Which was a shame. Now his snack was going to be wasted as fries simply weren't as tasty when they were cold.

He glanced up from the depressing sight to see his two friends shaking their heads. Yami sighed again and turned his attention to his drink. He let his fingers idly play with the plastic rim of his drink as he bit the corner of his lip (a nervous tick he picked up from Yugi) and tried to think of how to respond.

Because the story got worse. That part was simply a reckless beginning. The second time had been far more terrible.

He settled for saying as much.

"It gets worse?" Jounouchi whined. He lifted his head out of his hands to stare at the former Pharaoh incredulously. "Like how?"

"We uh...after the 'kneeing' incident, Yugi suggested we get up to undress and..." Yami paused briefly to bow his head as a blush lit up his cheeks. "...we tripped and fell off the couch."

Jounouchi immediately set his head back into his hands and groaned. Beside him, Honda looked like he was about to burst from the effort of holding in his laughter.

"No no no." Jounouchi mumbled.

Yami just nodded his head and picked at the plastic rim of his drink.

"And then Yugi fell over the coffee table when he tried to stand. He still has a bruise from that."

"Yami, stop."

"...and I hit my head trying to help him up."

Honda couldn't hold it in anymore and he doubled over the table in laughter. The table shook with light vibrations and Yami, despite the embarrassing hue of pink coating his cheeks, looked up from his fries to send the brunet a glare.

"Oh...shut up." he mumbled. When Honda didn't, he threw a fry at him. It missed. "Ugh...like I said before, it gets worse and we could really use a little...advice."

"More like a lot." Honda added as his laughter began to die down.

This time the fry Yami tossed at him hit its mark and Honda looked up only to meet the pointed glare of his grumpy friend. He flashed Yami a grin.

"So, you have more to tell us, right?" he prompted.

Yami frowned and folded his arms over the table.

"Unfortunately..."

-x-x-

Serena: Being a newb at this sort of thing, I can't promise you quality. Then again, even if I was a seasoned "lemon" writer, it still probably wouldn't be quality. Well. Anyway. Leave a review if you would like to see more or if you have constructive criticism to give or both. I'm not picky. Be advised that the next chapter has an actual lemon. Or part of one. Like Yami said, it gets worse~